TTC #2 over 40

[Jem1979]

Anyone else TTC over the age of 40? I have a 19 month who was conceived first attempt. TTC #2 since June without success so far. Be good to hear from anyone in the same boat! I’m still bfeeding so wondering if that might be a factor. Plus my age obvs!

Hi @Jem1979, no my GP told me as I already had one child the NHS couldn't help me. I had my progesterone checked and did a monitored cycle at the Lister clinic. My progesterone was 10.9 then 11.1 the following month then 34.8 the third month. They said they like to see it between 30 and 40 on day 21. With levels at 10/11 they told me that although I was likely ovulating, no mature eggs were being produced and therefore no mature corpus luteum and so not enough progesterone to carry a pregnancy even if I did by miracle manage to conceive with an immature egg.

Should have said I also had a terrible terrible sleeper and was feeding to sleep but she suddenly started dropping her nap and then one day got on my lap just before dinner and fell asleep by herself - actually I hadn't even noticed she'd dropped off. So we had a chat about it and agreed we'd see if she could go to sleep at bedtime with me just holding her which worked and we went from there. I think she was just ready to do it by herself.

I do still sleep with her though so it's not all roses!

@Mattieandmummy Thanks that's helpful to know, did it go up to 34.8 once you had stopped feeding? I think I will give it a few months and if no luck then will try and get some tests done. And in the meantime going to try and wean my son. He is a poor sleeper too, always has been. Bfeeding is the quickest and easiest way to get him back to sleep! But am feeling ready to stop so want to really give it a try. That's great your daughter can get to sleep without it. My wee one goes to sleep at nursery so I know he can do it too!! Hopefully now your levels are good you will get your BFP! x

@gizmo167 Am not surprised how you are feeling with no appts scheduled yet, hope you get some through soon. The nausea is surely a good sign? x

@Jem1979 I was down to one feed a day at 10.1, had stopped by the 11.9 result and then yes at 8 weeks after stopping got the 34.8 result. But I still don't think it was totally all back to normal that month as I had an early period that was 10 days long which is not normal for me. Am repeating the progesterone test again today so we shall see. Apparently it can take up 12 weeks for your body to sort itself out 🙄 but I do know people who got pregnant the month after they stopped so I think everyone is different.

I hope it's not too traumatic a process weaning, I had one night where my daughter got very upset and I did seriously question what we were doing. I also had severe panic attacks, depression, insomnia and general anxiety during weaning which apparently is totally normal. But I also know people who didn't get any of that at all so fingers crossed for you that your path will be a lot smoother than mine.

Obviously I'm just one case but my little girl does actually sleep better now we've stopped bf-ing.... I was really worried she wouldn't but she does. Only wakes once a night now and she just needs to know I'm there then straight back to sleep. But I really think it was just that she finally could do rather being connected to breastfeeding. Hope that helps x

I hope we all are successful and quickly too! Xx

@Mattieandmummy Yes that is really helpful, thanks so much for the info and advice. I just need to bite the bullet but keep putting it off....esp as got a BFP so thought it was ok to continue feeding for a while longer. But really keen to conceive again asap given my age so now feeling determined about it! He goes mad at night if my hubby goes in to settle him or if I try without feeding him, and like you said it makes me question whether doing the right thing and so end up offering it. I just need to try and persevere for a few nights at least. Everyone I know who has stopped feeding has said sleep has improved so it seems like a no brainer!! But like most things with small children, it sounds easy in theory but much less so in practice! This is the side of bfeeding no-one tells you about! x

Oh yes this sounds so familiar, we gave up with a cot at 4.5 months and I've basically just shoved a boob in her face at the slightest sound 😂 since giving up at the beginning of March this year. I do miss the connection though.

Hmm that should have said I've been shoving a boob in her face at the slightest sound overnight until the beginning of March this year.

Not sure what happened there 🤷

I found this article really interesting re: breastfeeding and fertility:

www.carolsmyth.co.uk/breastfeeding-resources/posts/2017/june/breastfeeding-fertility-and-subfertility-3/

@Mattieandmummy I've seen that article, it's really informative. Ha same here during the night. Easy option 🤪 What age is your wee one? I def have mixed emotions about stopping but do feel it's time!

She's two and a half.... She still asks me if my boobs work at bedtime. 😔

If it helps, I started with not feeding to sleep at naps but it sounds like you're already part of the way there if you little boy is able to go to sleep at nursery by himself.

So funny this whole weaning thing - a really good friend of mine has a little girl the same age as mine and her little girl decided at 18 months that she was done with breastfeeding. Just pushed the boob away one day and that was that, my friend was devastated.

Hi @Jem1979 and @Mattieandmummy I’m in a similar boat. I’ve been TTC since December when my son was 12 months and I had a chemical in cycle 1 and a mc in cycle 2, didn’t try properly again until cycle 5 and it was a bfn. We’re down to 1 morning feed and 1 late afternoon feed. Little boy is 17.5 months now.

Sorry to hear that @birdbybird, it's so tough isn't it....

When my little girl was in intensive care, I remember a really kind nurse said to me that if you have positive thoughts then positive things will happen because you are more open to seeing the possibilities of things. It doesn't make it all ok but some days I find it helps x

@birdbybird It's good to speak to others who are having similar experiences. Are you planning to completely wean?

@Mattieandmummy that's a great mindset to have, I do try and stay positive but as the months go by I sometimes find it hard. I am also trying to remind myself every day that I am blessed with my DS and what will be will be x

@Mattieandmummy sorry meant to also say ....your wee one asking if your boobs work 😭 bless her. I think it would be easier if my son had self weaned, then at least I wouldn't feel so guilty!!

13.1 on the progesterone test 😔

It's so frustrating that we didn't even have the possibility of conceiving this month. Am hoping it's just a one off month rather long term broken system.

@Jem1979 I think a lot of people really struggle with TTC no 2 regardless of age. I think like miscarriage, it's one of those things no one talks about.

Onwards and upwards x

Has anyone had fertility investigations for no.2? I expected to have MCs but didn’t expect not to get pregnant at all. It’s been nearly a year now and in that time I’ve had one definite CP and a couple of months where I think I perhaps conceived but never got a positive test and AF arrived on time. I’ve never wanted to know what my fertility level is as it would just get me down and wouldn’t change us trying anyway. But now I’m wondering if there would be anything that they could check and perhaps fix with a supplement or something. I’m clutching at straws I guess! I definitely don’t want IVF but I guess if there’s something else that could help. Our local private clinic does a fertility MOT for about £400 I think.

@Mattieandmummy sorry to hear that about your levels. Maybe just a dip this month then they will go up again? I've read they can prescribe progesterone? And yes I think you are right far more common than you would think. I guess there is the presumption once you've had one then the second will just follow.

@Twothirtyam no I did contact GP before Xmas as had been TTC for 6 months. Did the sexual health test and then next step is blood test to check am ovulating but said would wait til new year then ended up getting a BFP so didn't go back. I will though if in a few months I haven't conceived. I know what you mean about not wanting to know ....but then again I wonder would it really be worse than the disappointment of trying month after month with no success?! Might be worth a shot in case there is something can be done. I am on the fence about IVF but my hubby is clear he doesn't want to go down that route and if we can't conceive again then we have a healthy happy boy who we will give all our love and time to x

@Twothirtyam my last mc was August last year and I started the ball rolling with fertility tests 6 months later. Was referred by gp to infertility service at the local hospital. Had bloods done and now a hycosy which I'm actually going private for on Tuesday as just can't wait another cycle (am 43 in August and panicking!). Not going down the ivf route either as partner really not fussed either way and we have our little girl (5) so will let nature decide (and supplements of course!)

Hi @Jem1979 I’m undecided about completely weaning. Yesterday when DS came back from the nursery I just gave him a snack instead so it was only 1 feed as he is night weaned and my DH holds him until he goes to sleep. but no nursery today so will see what happens after he wakes up from the nap.
My gynae said BF is not a problem if TTC but she thinks at his age 1.5 years it’s more for comfort than nutritional benefit. Also she said it will get harder once I am pregnant.
I’m in cycle 6 now and I have a follow up appointment with her in 2 weeks.
I’m also taking it easy and if it happens it happens. I am giving ourselves every chance by using ovulation sticks and DTD or SI every day of the fertile window.

@Jem1979 @Lastyearttc interesting that your GP has helped you out mine basically said that because I was over 40 and had a child already there was nothing they could do! They’re usually really great but I’m too nervous to contact them about any tests or anything now. I’ve contacted the local fertility clinic so will see what they say about the fertility MOT. I’ve also upped my acupuncture sessions and have an appointment with a nutritionist booked in so am trying to cover all bases so that I know I’ve properly tried!

@Jem1979 well my period has just started, something is clearly not right as that's a 24 day cycle. Stupid hormones.

We have another consultant appointment on Wednesday so we'll see what they say.

@birdbybird I was told everyone is different in terms of whether breastfeeding effects fertility or not. You can check if you're ovulating with a 21 day progesterone test, my GP seems happy to do mine so maybe worth asking. In my experience you can have partial ovulation where you see an LH surge, have muchas etc etc but then your body can't complete the process and produce enough progesterone 😬

Morning everyone hope you all had a good sunny weekend!

@birdbybird how did you get on with the feeds over the weekend? My boy slept from 9.30-6 without waking last night so no night feeds, hurray! Also manager to get him to sleep in the cot (though I had to lie beside him! 🤣) I'm the same as you, trying to stay relaxed and DTD as much as possible.

@Mattieandmummy grrr sorry to hear AF was early, at least you have an appt this week to get advice.

@Twothirtyam be interesting to hear about the MOT keep us posted. I've thought about acupuncture, do you enjoy it? x

Morning! Just on our way to the beach! We had a 3am start as I had put her in a summer sleeping bag, thinking she would be warm enough. Er.... no. Awake at 3am cold and wanted a chat. I gave up at 4.30am and sent her in to her Dad for stories whilst I managed to get another 30mins. 🙄

@Jem1979 I went to see my GP on Friday, she said it's absolutely totally normal to have irregular periods and low progesterone for one to three months post stopping bf. Can even take up to six months to regulate but there's nothing wrong. I'll add that to the things I wish I'd known.

I've had 3 cycles now since stopping so praying this is the one where everything regulates. I think we'll supplement with progesterone this month and start maybe ovulation induction next month. I wanted to do this on my own but I've realised over the last few days I don't need to be a hero about it. If I need a bit of help along the way so be it.

@Jem1979 congratulations on a good night sleep.
Actually my son has a cold (and he’s given it to me) so bf on demand this weekend. At 9:30am today I have given him two bf already. But probably will just end up being 4 feeds.
It’s cd8 and didn’t do ovulation test this morning but might DTD tonight to catch the fertile window.
I got pregnant so easily earlier this year, I thought we could even try for #3 once #2 was born. Wishful thinking perhaps.

@birdbybird I also was hoping for no. 3 after no. 2, I really hope we're all successful.