TTC after ectopic Part 2

[DoctorBambino]

Looks like we need a new thread!
I've added everyone who has posted recently 😊

@Sammyclaire22 @that90sgirl @ActonBell @NigellasMicrowave @Kate105 @Hlump1980 @ScottishStardust @littleeggcup @MrsB2019x @Chica1990 @Mumlili9 @Ivybutterfly @yesitcould @BasalGanglia

@queenbee8687 yes they removed my tube. And yes I’ve been pregnant since and they monitored me early and with great care on all occasions. One subsequent pregnancy turned out to be ectopic but in my other remaining tube and early monitoring meant it was discovered early and chemically treated. Yes my remaining tube is scarred as a result but it’s still there .

Really hoping you get the happy outcome soon you deserve!

@Bundaberg84 glad you’re home and doing as well as you can be. Look after yourself and take all the time you need for your body and mind to recover

@Mum2baby07 thank you! I'm already feeling quite ok. Slept good, pain is manageable, had no pain killers today so far. I have a really low blood pressure so pain killers make me dizzy, especially if I'm not allowed to walk too much.

@Bundaberg84 It sounds like you're doing well, I'm so glad 😊 I have low blood pressure too, and once I was able to move around more, I didn't get dizzy nearly as often.

@Mum2baby07 Thank you for telling me all of that 😊 I had some confidence that early monitoring would catch another ectopic if it happened, I have even more confidence after reading your story 😊

I am struggling a bit today - nearly 5 weeks post op, period due on Friday and then we will start our first cycle of trying first ectopic (subject to us both being ready).

I feel that everyone is pregnant around me - celebrities, some of which have had a miscarriage after my first and have either gone onto have a baby or are pregnant.

One of my best friends told me she was pregnant last night - I am so so so pleased for her, I knew how much she wanted it. She has had 2 MCs also and had to rearrange her wedding due to covid so I'm not jealous - just sad for us.

BUT, it has put me into a world of negativity, I know I need to be positive but I can't stop but thinking I only have one tube left - and with 2 MC and a diagnosed blood clotting problem (so on aspirin for all future pregnancies) I can't help but think it seems to work out for everyone else lose, won't ever happen for us. The pressure it's putting on our relationship after so much sadness is hard.

Any tips for holding into hope? I have my first session of counselling tonight so I am hoping that will help!

Thank you all! X

@Louise276 I thought I should respond to this one as didn't want to read and run, I still keep reading the posts on this group but have now moved onto an IVF specific support group which has been invaluable for guidance with all the questions about treatment! I felt this very much when we started to conceive, and have also noticed lots of celebrity pregnancy announcements and births in the media recently, I would say that it's because we are now more aware of it but actually I think it's got a lot to do with lockdown - a friend of mine who's brother is a doctor said the maternity wards where are absolutely full to bursting!! You haven't said how long you have been TTC for but my only guidance would be try not to put too much pressure on yourself when you start trying again, I did and it became my life - it also made negatives very hard to deal with every month. Trust in the process, that it will happen and if you struggle there are so many treatments available to help give you an extra push - speaking from experience as someone who is about to go for her final scan before egg collection end of the week - it's truly amazing what they can do!! Take care of yourself and treat your body with kindness, lots of --- ❤️❤️❤️ x

Hi @Luan82

Thanks for the reply! We have been TTC for a year and a half now with 2 MC, 1 Ectopic and now 1 tube. I feel exhausted after it all to be honest - so finding it hard to be positive at the moment.

You are right, there is so much help we can get if we need it. But I just keep thinking we have too many problems - so even though IVF could help us with my single tube, it won't help my problems with miscarrying. Maybe it is one of those days when I am just being a negative Nancy! I think it has already consumed me with everything the last year and a bit - I need to find things that being my joy again, I don't even enjoy buying myself things anymore - and I never thought that would happen lol.

Thank you again. Best of luck with your egg collection at the end of the week, please let us know how you get on! Xxxx

@Louise276 totally understand- I'm at the other end of the spectrum, my ectopic was the only time I've ever been pregnant so I completely understand how hard it is to believe that it's going to happen again, and stick around! I'm nearly onto two years ttc- I understand why people don't but wish more women would come forward about their miscarriages because I feel that we are lulled into a false sense of security because no one talks about it and we assume it's so rare!! My friend had one miscarriage and one Chemical before she conceived her daughter so it does happen - much more than you think, once you reach two years ttc you can also ask for a referral to try to understand what's happening and if the miscarriages are a recurring issue - sending you much love and positive thoughts !! ❤️❤️x

I’m so sorry, @Louise276 - it’s really, really rough. What I would say though that it is still really, really early days for you, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Of course you are going to feel tired, sad and upset. It’s a major medical event as well as being a hugely traumatic one, emotionally. I’m six months on since mine and my doctor reminded my that it’s still possible for hormones to be a bit up and down close to the end of my cycles - that could be true for you to, but that’s not to diminish how you are feeling.

I personally get a lot of positive strength from this group and the success stories on it. I’ve read both threads and it’s really rare for someone not to have an ending that they want. What it takes is time and patience (I’m really not good at the latter!).

Lockdown babies have definitely been a thing - I know of eleven, born to people close to us (not even random people I know from work). It is really, bloody hard to be surrounded by this. I struggle greatly with it and have had to distance myself from seeing people to avoid the stress that follows. However, I am honest about why and I think that most people understand. In the meantime, I’m trying a bit of self care (yoga and acupuncture are my two things) and hoping for the best. I’m hoping for the best for you, too.

@Louise276
I just wanted to say basically what has already been said. There is babies every where but just not with me !! This is how I feel. I just can’t be happy for them whatever their circumstances yet and I hate that how what has happened to me has caused it.
I listen to the podcast The worst girl Gang ever. It didn’t solve my problems but it helped. They also talk about the ‘ ugly feelings ‘ and how that is all acceptable. They also have lots of people in who know there stuff about fertility issues. I am sorry I can help any more. Sending hugs xx

@Louise276 sending love and prayers and positive thoughts ❤️ you're a few weeks ahead of me, we still aren't sure when AF is going to show back up, but I know it feels like everyone else around you is getting that happy ending. My cousin's wife gave birth just days after I was released from the hospital, they aren't local to me, so I've just stayed off social media...then I found out another woman I know is pregnant, I'm just avoiding that particular friend group for now...I'm happy for them, they both have their own stories, but I just can't right now. And then I went for my post-op appointment yesterday and at least two other couples were sitting in the waiting room holding their ultrasound pictures...I was so jealous and sad. I really understand where you're coming from...hopefully with time, like the others have said, we'll get those same happy endings ❤️

@Luan82 @NigellasMicrowave @Hlump1980 @queenbee8687

Can I just say thank you so so so much for your responses. They have helped me compose my thoughts the last few days. I am feeling a bit better - I think I have just about started my period so I think maybe my hormones have been a bit all over the place.

You are right on how good the support here is, it has helped me through the last 5 weeks. I think I just need to accept there will be good and there will be bad days.

@Hlump1980 Your podcast recommendation I know will help me so much, I am now on episode 4 - I can already see whilst it won't solve my problems, I am finding a lot of comfort in it. Anyone else who has not listened to it, I really recommend it!

My husband has gone off to Glasgow with friends for a few days this AM. We haven't had the best few weeks together with us each coping with everything and have been bickering it a bit so I am hoping this time will help.

Sending lots of luck to anyone trying this month. I am now CD1 so a long way to go yet - and not sure if my husband will want to but we will see.

Xx

Hey everyone. So I've just received a phone call from my fertility consultants secretary booking an urgent appointment for myself and my husband next week. She has just received his sperm analysis and wants to see us. He's now freaking out that something is wrong which I can't help agree as surely the consultant wouldn't ask for an urgent appointment if all was fine. I am freaking out too but feel like I need to stay strong for him. I didn't ask the secretary if something was wrong as surely she wouldn't know. Do you think I should ring back and ask?

@that90sgirl did you call them back? I hope you're not left worrying and thinking the worst

@HereIfYouNeedMe yeah I rang back but didn't get much out of the secretary which is fair enough. Just need to settle ourselves and wait until Thursday. Derp down I know there must be some sort of problem as we've only fallen pregnant once in 2.5 years. My husband was convinced nothing was wrong so it's probably a bit of a shock to him. I'll be glad to know and hopefully get a plan in place.

[quote that90sgirl]@HereIfYouNeedMe yeah I rang back but didn't get much out of the secretary which is fair enough. Just need to settle ourselves and wait until Thursday. Derp down I know there must be some sort of problem as we've only fallen pregnant once in 2.5 years. My husband was convinced nothing was wrong so it's probably a bit of a shock to him. I'll be glad to know and hopefully get a plan in place. [/quote]
I'm so sorry you have to wait so long to find out! It's going to be hard but try and keep yourself busy as best you can. Hoping for better news than you think! Xx

@that90sgirl I don't think it's fair they've said 'urgent' but making you wait a week! Thanks for that 👍🏼🤨
sorry just frustrated for you!!

@HereIfYouNeedMe I suppose your right actually!! Life is pretty mental right now so I have enough to keep my mind off it. Hoping that whatever it is can be solved! Thanks for your support x

I am so happy for you @coffeewithmilk You deserve this so much. Xxx

How was Friday @Luan82 ?

@NigellasMicrowave so sorry I forgot to post !! So we got 3 eggos and I was a little disappointed obviously expected low numbers but with 7 follicles in the end I was hoping for a few more, got the call and 2 out of 3 fertilised normally so just waiting for the update before transfer day 5 now - and keeping everything crossed for those two little embabies to grow and grow !!! 🙏🏼🌈❤️🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼x

Two out of three seems great! Well done and fingers crossed there’s some lovely progress this week. Keep us posted xx

@NigellasMicrowave absolutely will 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼😘

Great news @Luan82! Fingers crossed for you 🤞

We had our reassurance scan last week and thank *uck it's not ectopic!!! 😅 We even saw a heartbeat.

@Luan82 congratulations! That's fantastic news!!
The next few days are going to be so so hard, the waiting and wondering. Keep yourself busy if you can! The days seem to drag!!
I've everything crossed for you 🤞🏻

@Ivybutterfly thank you so much!! Can't believe I'm 7+2!! Next scan on Tuesday, can't wait to see the progress over the last 10 days!
Xx