TTC after ectopic Part 2

[DoctorBambino]

Looks like we need a new thread!
I've added everyone who has posted recently 😊

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@Sweetbabydust1989 I hope that everything goes well, it can be really hard when your period arrives each month, I find it a constant reminder of what you lost. Thinking of you.

Ladies I just found this thread and I’m so thankful for it reading through all the comments, I’ve struggled so much to find people that understand what your going through.

We started TTC #1 in Feb last year, late June
I got my BFP and in July after weeks of agonizing tests was finally diagnosed with an ectopic. Got methotrexate and after a rocky few weeks and multiple hospital stays my bloods finally came back to 0 in August.
Started TTC again in October and roll on 6 months and we are still trying. My due date passed two weeks ago and I’ve really been struggling for the past 6-8 weeks. I find myself constantly upset and each month when AF arrives it feels like I’m failing.

We are in our early 30s have been together for 13 years and made a conscious decision not to start trying until we were married and had our house sorted which is why we only started beginning of last year. Now My mind races eve day thinking we should have started earlier and lots of ‘what ifs’. My husband is my rock but he has dealt with things very differently as I find myself somewhat envying him for how he has coped.

I’m struggling in work and find that I can’t concentrate and everyone is either pissing me off or upsetting me, I just feel like I need a break. I’m surround by pregnancy announcements and pregnant people in work and even though I’m working from home right now, the start of every meeting is about people talking about their kids or workmates showing us how big their bumps are..

I’ve just entered my fertile week for this cycle and we had a massive argument 2 days ago as he was saying he is worried about me and that he feels I’m stressed/putting a lot of pressure on myself - I didn’t take this very well although I do kind of agree. I flipped out and told him to forget about this month and that I wasn’t bothered and couldn’t handle another month of disappointment. I stopped temping and I’m not planning on doing OPKs etc... although I was the one who suggested it I’m also annoyed at myself as I do want to try this month 😂😂

I’m all over the place, i just never thought this would be our journey (I know nobody does) I feel like I’m on edge all of the time. I’m in Ireland and we can’t see anyone at the moment indoors or outdoors and can’t go beyond 5km of our home so i know this is adding more stress as we have no routine.

Does anyone have any tips of how you have copped or created a new routine to help take your mind off things?

Sorry for the long rant, I don’t want to bring a negative tone to the thread, I just felt like i really needed to write all of this down to get it off my chest!!

@Twittwoo2020 thanks lovely well my consultant has decided that I don’t need a hcosy test done atm and he thinks I don’t have endometriosis either as I got pregnant so quickly and my body cleared my ectopic fast with minimal complications and my periods returned right on pre ectopic schedule he just thinks it’s my mild adenomyosis causing issues so I am going to start my ttc journey maybe next cycle or the one after once I have had this baby if I ever do then I am being referred back for an eviction... sorry you’re going through a rough time if ovulation tests are getting stressful just have a little break I am only using them to track my cycles since my ectopic. I am also in my 30s so no the feeling it’s like everything goes down hill once you hit 30 well that’s my experience found a grey hair had acne which I have never had before lol x

@Sweetbabydust1989 - sounds like you're definitely not high risk for endo so that's good, I was so shocked that my tubes were patent but I think that it's Because I'd built up in my mind that they'd be a right mess!! Just goes to show your mind can play tricks on you ! x

@Hopeful2611 hi 🙋🏻‍♀️! Have you spoken to your doctor yet? I would suggest making an appointment for blood tests first if you haven't done already that's always a good start and can determine what your hormone levels are like - my first few blood tests after coming off the pill showed my progesterone was very low - so it's definitely worth doing ! - hope that helps ! x

@Twittwoo2020 - thanks for sharing your story it's very similar to the timing of my ectopic ! I really feel your pain at feeling like your failing every month - I've been focusing on holistic therapy every month trying a new vitamin or protocol that should improve fertility and every time AF arrives it feels like such a punch in the gut. Our TTC journey has caused friction between my OH and I too I do think it really is quite common especially when pregnancy doesn't come easy. I think men struggle to understand the anxiety of feeling like our bodies have let us down every month coupled with the raging hormone levels !! 🤦🏻‍♀️I'd also sit down with your partner and try to explain to him the effect that the ectopic has had and how hard it is for you each cycle. my partner told me this month that he's concerned that I'm putting too much pressure on myself each month and it's all I talk about, he's right tbf but when time isn't on my side i explained I can't really help it!! A good suggestion I was given when TTC was to do the deed every two days for the week before and after ovulation )if you both have the energy!! ) That way you don't have to temp or OPK and gives you the best chance of DTD at the right time without obsessing about it if that makes sense? Hope you get things sorted with your OH lovely x

@Lililou - how are things? For the first time ever I'm ovulating late this cycle !! Arghhhhh! Not sure if it's because of the HyCoSy or not tbh, it's definitely close but not there yet !! x

@Luan82 I was very surprised it’s like the ectopic gave me a clear out my consultant was really shocked as I got pregnant second cycle from stopping my pill and I wasn’t even trying due to my upcoming lap he also said it’s a good sign that my body cleared very quickly especially as some take a month or 2 to get zero levels and also my periods have gone back to normal straight away I no it sounds disgusting but even my period blood isn’t dark at the start like it use to be it’s a nice red colour and the flow is light/medium I am not in any pain at all like I was no more sharp stabbing pains or cramping only get the cramping during ovulation and my period.. my scans all showed my ovaries to be in good condition obviously just my tubes iam worried about he did say there could be damage to my ectopic tube but he doesn’t feel the dye test to be necessary or even the Lao at this stage I do have mild adenomyosis that showed up on scan they did before my ectopic but he said there isn’t any medical evidence to show that will cause any problems.. if all else fails he will refer me for some fertility tests but not sure if I have to pay as I do have children but it will be the private hospital doing it but the nhs pays... I am just grateful for some good news finally... I am on my second period post ectopic and it was weird as according to my flo app I was due on Friday but came on yesterday I was so a shocked as leading up to it would be extremely painful but this one wasn’t it was a kinda hello lol.. starting my next load of ovulation tests from the 5th according to my Clearblue app not sure wether to give myself another month breather before starting... my consultant was lovely he was like get starting stop thinking about what could go wrong and once I have finished having children I will be having my issuing my uterus with an eviction notice... He was like was you even trying before I was like no because of my op but had one oops moment I am living proof you can get pregnant by just having sex once in a month lol hope you’re all good xxx

@Twittwoo2020
I was reading you comment and I think what you are feeling is natural. I am having issues at work colleague getting pregnant and everything seems to stress me out. I just can’t help it. I am doing acupuncture and she is trying to help me but I just have this constant feeling that I have failed. Also trying to do do fertility yoga but online just doesn’t seem to work for me . I also am with a fertility nutritionist which has helped ( not this week I ate 2 packets of mini eggs ). I also did do reflexology but she has had to shut during lockdown. I don’t know if any of these will help xxx

@Luan82 Yes that helps a lot! Thank you, I haven't been in contact with the doctor because they're normally like wait for the 12 month mark but I will ask and see if they'll do it for me earlier!

@Sweetbabydust1989 they do say that an ectopic can trigger an immune response in the body to naturally absorb the embryo and the blockage around it so that's good!! x

@Hopeful2611 no harm in trying! My view is the referral system can be a painfully slow process so best to start with the early investigations through GP if you can then if you conceive in the meantime it's a bonus !! x

@Luan82 no way I never new that at all!!! So hopefully that’s a good sign I haven’t felt this good in ages... i honestly feel so cleared out... how are you getting on hun x

@Sweetbabydust1989 I'm feeling much better after finding out my tubes are patent last week, ovulation seems a little delayed this month but that might just be the procedure - fingers crossed 🤞🏼!! Xx

@Luan82 possible hun I reckon you will back to normal by the next cycle!!! Be nice to see a pregnancy post from you!! I was going to get a hycosy test done privately but can’t find anywhere close and the one that is is extremely expensive so going to just wait until things don’t progress xx

@Luan82 yes I agree no harm at all, just asked for blood tests to be done, Dr needs to get back to me so hopefully will say yes x

@Hopeful2611 🤞🏼 for you ! x

@Sweetbabydust1989 good idea - I only wanted the HyCoSy due to my painful ovulation and other endo symptoms, it would be so lovely to finally see those elusive two lines!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🌈🙏🏼❤️xx

@Sweetbabydust1989 after starting to wonder what's going on my LH surge has arrived this aft - only one day later than expected and not as much cramping at ovulation this month which I think is a good sign? - yay !!! x

@Luan82 yay!!! So exciting seeing those smiley faces it made me smile when I got one last month made me more hopeful that my body had returned back to normal.. I start mine on the 3rd April but not trying going to wait until may at least it gives me 3 months solid of recovery and 2 normal periods xx

Yay @Luan82 ! Fingers crossed for you! I think I got my surge 2 days ago. Only used cheapies so far but they seem ok. Now for the agonising TWW ...

Which day will you be testing?

@Lililou day 14 looks like the winner - nice and perfectly placed in the middle of your cycle too!! Im hoping that my cycle is a bit longer this month as it was only 27days last time and think that's a tiny bit short for ovulation at day 17? I love the app where you can add the date and picture that's so helpful!! Every single month I say I'm not going to test till the day of my period and every single month I fail and test before !!! Haha!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@Lililou - may be a silly question but when abouts do you aim to DTD during ovulation? I have read that it's best to try and DTD a few days before the surge but my app knows I got my peak yesterday afternoon and is reading the highest chance of conception today which is a little confusing !! We've managed to cover all bases this month before and after but I'm wondering if we should have one last go this evening 😂👍🏼xx

We've been trying to DTD every other day from 5 days before ovulation. I too was contemplating whether to DTD on ovulation day but was just knackered 🤣

@Lililou - same here my OH bless him - 'is that it then for another month?' 😂😂😂 x

Hahaha yep sounds familiar! My OH has a much higher sex drive than me. I've never really had a high a sex drive.