TTC after ectopic Part 2

[DoctorBambino]

Looks like we need a new thread!
I've added everyone who has posted recently 😊

@Sammyclaire22 @that90sgirl @ActonBell @NigellasMicrowave @Kate105 @Hlump1980 @ScottishStardust @littleeggcup @MrsB2019x @Chica1990 @Mumlili9 @Ivybutterfly @yesitcould @BasalGanglia

I’m really sorry too, @DoctorBambino. I think we can all empathise with the having to wait and the hope that things would feel cheerier by the time the due date would roll round. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have a happy outcome, though but it feels like shit in the meantime. Big hugs.

Thanks ladies, nice to have people who get it! I'm feeling a bit better today, just got to roll with the punches.

@Luan82 they found endo during my surgery, in the pouch of douglas. I don't really notice anything around ovulation, pre ectopic I used to get ovulation pain but since the surgery I don't feel anything. My periods are a bit crampy but not what I would describe as painful to be honest. Never would have thought I'd have endo!

@DoctorBambino interesting! Thanks for sharing, I think they say that you can have severe endo and not much pain and very mild endo and severe pain which is super confusing !! Did they surgically remove the endo they found? I wonder if that's what eased the pain. This is what my consultant was hoping to do for me if my darn surgery hadn't been cancelled 😞 my ovulation cramps went away last night so they didn't last too long which is reassuring and we DTD too so defo got the timing right! I'm just a few months behind you hopefully going for the HyCosy soon then if no luck IVF, at this rate we may even be IVF buddies !! (Trying to find the positives in everything atm!!) 🌈🤞🏼❤️ so glad you are feeling a little better today xxx

Hi ladies, please can I join?

I had my Miraena removed on October 2020, we weren’t really trying hard but not being that careful either.. got pregnant on first ‘proper’ cycle of trying. Thought we were really lucky!

Fast forward to Monday last week, would have been 8-9 weeks, started having brown discharge, so called EPAU who got me in for a scan the next morning. Found baby right at the opening of my right tube with no heartbeat 😔 Nurse wouldn’t confirm if it was ectopic or not but sent me straight to hospital for further investigation. Consultant did extensive internal scan (15 mins!) to determine exactly what was happening. My partner was called in and consultant recommended surgery that afternoon to remove tube. He did say we could wait to see if it passes naturally, or have the injection, but strongly recommended surgery to remove baby and tube. I was operated on 4 hours later.

All the hospital staff were really lovely, especially the lady in recovery who had to put up with me crying and then fainting for 30 mins. Came home just over 24hrs after the op. My HCG level was 12,000 at the time so was still having symptoms. Haven’t been given results of latest blood test. Will have another three at the EOAU.

Luckily everything looked normal when they looked around ovaries and uterus, so shouldn’t have a problem conceiving again, in theory.

Reading my notes, they’ve said to wait 6 months before TTC again... but everything else I’ve read says 3 months is normal.. Will ask about that at EPAU next week, but I really want to start trying again ASAP.

I’m having a really down day today (8 days post surgery).. it feels like an awful lot of my friends are having healthy, easy pregnancies and I’m back to square one. Thankfully I’d only told my immediate family that I was PG in the first place, but I’m having a hard time when people ask what’s wrong with me and why I’m off work.

I guess I’m just very grateful to have somewhere to share my experience- I’m just so sad right now. I feel a bit like maybe surgery wasn’t really necessary, as baby wasn’t completely in the tube. But surely the doctor wouldn’t have pushed surgery if it wasn’t necessary?

Sorry for such a long one, I just don’t feel like anyone close to me really gets what I’m going through 😔

Oh @Maurice76 I am so, so sorry. You have been and are going through something hugely traumatic. It does get easier, with time and support, but you need that time to recover from the immediate aftermath first. My heart goes out to you.

I doubt you would have had a strong steer towards surgery if they hadn’t considered that the best option for you. Many women have surgery and their next pregnancy is completely routine so I would focus on the positive outcomes if you can. It is hard to when everyone around you is sailing through pregnancy and you feel like your future is unknown - I completely get that.

If you can, be as open as you are able to with work. My work was a bit funny about my being off - until I told them it was an ectopic pregnancy and then they were great. I’ve not told everyone but my line manager knows as do a couple of close colleagues and it made the return so much easier.

I’ve also chosen to be really open with friends and family. My poor parents only found out about my pregnancy after things started going wrong but in a way, that was easier because they didn’t have the disappointment. Friends needed to know because I feel different - and I can’t be my usual self around new babies or bumps. That’s understandable and most people have been fantastic about it. Do, when you’re able to, let people know how traumatic this experience has been and how sad you are feeling. You deserve all the support and it is there. We can cheer you on in this group, too.

@NigellasMicrowave thank you so much for such kind words.

I’ve looked at my discharge notes for the first time today - couldn’t bring myself to look properly before.

It turns out I had an interstitial pregnancy, which is seriously dangerous if it ruptures as the baby was so close to two blood vessels... obviously why they rushed me into surgery. I did wonder why they needed 3 consultants to look at my scan! It sounds really silly but I really wasn’t aware of any kind of massive urgency at the time... they just said they had an opening.

There is also a note on there saying there’s a high chance I’ll need further surgical and/or medical management. No idea what this could be about but might explain the 6 months waiting time.

It also says that I won’t be able to give birth naturally, an elective c-section will be the only way 😔

Unfortunately I’m self employed and none of my clients know we’re trying for a baby - people in my industry are really funny about it, but I’m sure my main ones will understand. It’s also a very gossipy industry so I’m just telling them I had abdominal surgery.

I’ll be 36 this year and feel like time is just slipping away. Before ttc I never felt like I was old, but now I feel ancient!!

Hi @Maurice76, so sorry for what you've been through and I hope that talking it through with everyone here brings come comfort to what is a really difficult thing to go through.

If you have any questions regarding the surgery or conceiving in the future you could ask the EPAU for a follow up appointment to discuss. Mine did it over the telephone.

I'd really recommend talking as one one of the best ways to deal with this kind of grief, talking on here, to friends/family, work if you think you can. I actually found the support so amazing and I'm not normally the kind of person that really talks about my emotions or shares anything personal. But it made everything a lot easier for me. Friends have since got pregnant and that's been tough but they knew what I was going through and have been sensitive. Work and colleagues have been so understanding.

I do think talking about baby loss is more common and less of taboo than it once was. It's not something you just get over like that. With ectopic you also have the added concern over your own welfare. It's not easy but there is plenty of support on here. I'd also recommend the ectopic pregnancy trust website too.

Some of the best advice I got from friends was around it being ok to not be ok. But also not to force emotions, it can be a rollercoaster, some days you feel nothing at all, a bit numb and some days you can be really emotional.

So period is over lasted the same amount of time as my normal cycles do only difference was it was more heavy than usual... my question is should I start ovulation tests I am not planning on trying for another 2 months but thought I could track to see what’s happening... hope you’re all doing as well as can be xxx

Just catching up

Sending you so much love @DoctorBambino 💙 I had no idea about TTC and the rubella vaccine

@Maurice76 I am so sorry you find yourself here 😔 definitely healthy to have down days. We are all here if you need to vent

@Sweetbabydust1989 Yeah I’d start using OPKs, I found I was ovulating later then pre-ectopic so it was a good to have an idea of what was going on

Hope the rest of you are holding up okay x

@maurice76 sorry you find yourself here. Sounds like a huge amount of information for you to take in, I hope the hospital can give you some answers and follow up support.

Much love to you 🤍

@Sweetbabydust1989 yes, I started using OPKs this month, never tried them before. We're not going to start TTC again until next month though but I thought it would be a good to start tracking ovulation now to get the hang of it. It's very interesting! I've been using Premom app as advised by another mn-er.

Thank you @Lililou @MrsB2019x and @DoctorBambino

Waiting to speak to my consultant with a whole load of questions! Not knowing exactly what happened is driving me mad. I’m usually such an active person but it feels like it’s taking ages to recover - it has only been 11 days since the op but I’m totally exhausted after just a really short walk.

Does anyone know why it happens? Just really bad luck?

Welcome @Maurice76, sorry to find you here but we’ll look after you!

There can be some risk factors, such as age, having endo, etc but often it’s just bad luck. Certainly that seems to be the case for me- the surgeon said that they had a good look at my remaining tube when they were in there (!) and everything else is in good nick. It only took 2 months to get pregnant again once we started trying again, so it must be all working ok!

@DoctorBambino
I am so sorry you are having a crappy time Sending you big hugs xx

@Maurice76
Welcome and sorry you find yourself here but it really is a very supportive group x

@Maurice76 I'm sorry this happened to you. A list of risk factors is here www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/ectopic-pregnancy but I had none of them.

It took me 6 weeks to recover from a ruptured ectopic and I am pretty fit normally (was, prior to that pregnancy, cycling 50miles a week on commute, doing bikram yoga twice a week, etc). I 'only' lost 500ml of blood in total but felt horrendous. Be kind to yourself

I remember one of the senior people in my industry saying to me it was a shame that this had 'advertised my pregnancy intentions'. She was right, of course - she meant this kindly and wasn't involved in giving me work. Others were then just waiting for the announcement of pregnancy - I felt this strongly.

Good luck and rest plenty, you will feel better soon x

Hi ladies hope all is good!! I finally get to start my ovulation tests this week I have the clear blue advanced one and it says I need to test Friday anyone else used these tests before and got a positive outcome?? My partner got me a beautiful fertility bracelet he says he isnt sure if it will work but he got it for luck bless him I no he is a right git sometimes but it was such a lovely gesture xx

@Sweetbabydust1989 - I use the cheapy one step strips as soon as I start seeing EWCM as this is always a good signifier - this month I had more than ever!! (Hope that's a positive sign) then I can see the lines gradually turn darker day by day - and once that happens I use the pink clear blue stick (the ones wrapped in pink foil?) I've attached a pic. They're pricey and luckily for me I can feel ovulation so I tend to use these only once just to confirm I'm right and the pain is ovulation, I think you need to test first before your LH surge rises so the test has something to compare a rise against if that makes sense? Once you start to try again next month I would DTD as soon as you start to see an increase in CM and carry on every two days from that point to a few days after your positive OV test - so you've covered early and late OV!! Xx

Afternoon ladies, I hope you are all doing ok? As the title of the group suggests - I'm currently TTC and in my TWW - anyone in the same position? Would be great to chat and share experiences, especially after the trauma of an ectopic. We DTD every two days from before OV till two days after the surge, I'm really trying not to symptom spot but it's so hard especially because I'm hoping that I can still conceive naturally 😞 my low AMH means the next step for us is IVF - much love and baby dust to everyone ❤️🌈xxx

I’m a bit behind you @Luan82 March marks the first month since I had the methotrexate that I’m allowed to TTC again. Of course my period is due on the same day as the three months is up You couldn’t make it up but I’m glad my cycles are on the go again. Good luck! Xxxx

@NigellasMicrowave oooh exciting! Well least you know that when aunt flow comes to town you can focus on the build up to ovulation - it will fly by I'm sure! 🌈❤️🤞🏼Xx

Hi
Hope everyone is ok ? I am slightly confused / concerned. My AF was due around 3 days ago. I am normally a 26 day cycle. I have taken a couple of tests and nothing! Also I don’t seem to have any period like pains that come just before . Obviously it is a 3 months since my ectopic but my cycle didn’t seem to be messed up and now it is. Did this happen to anybody else. I am now starting to think something might be wrong but have no idea what !! Thanks x

Hi @Hlump1980 this happened to me the first months of TTC again... I was never late before the ectopic but I was definitely a bit messed up afterwards. Hopefully you’ll get an answer soon!

@Hlump1980 Oh that’s a bit strange, isn’t it. Do you know when you ovulated? As I understand it, ovulation can move around a little bit from cycle to cycle but the luteal phase between ovulation and period arriving stays the same.

I ovulated day 13 according to my app and charting. My luteal stage is now 16 days but use to be 13,