TTC after ectopic Part 2

[DoctorBambino]

Looks like we need a new thread!
I've added everyone who has posted recently 😊

@Sammyclaire22 @that90sgirl @ActonBell @NigellasMicrowave @Kate105 @Hlump1980 @ScottishStardust @littleeggcup @MrsB2019x @Chica1990 @Mumlili9 @Ivybutterfly @yesitcould @BasalGanglia

@MumOf2LittleMinions57 🤞🏼 for you xx

Wonderful news @kate105 I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly

@catlover101 this is a great group for finding understanding and a place to vent or share worries. I had a similar experience to you back in 2017 and since then had my dd, a mc and recently my second dd. I struggled a lot with guilt over agreeing to the surgery as the baby had a heart beat, and that I never got to see the baby on the scan. Also knowing that in a different situation my life was at risk freaked me out a bit. I know I can't change any of it but I found it much much harder to process than my mc.
For ideas on coping, we named the baby and later planted a tree which I found helpful. My husband also got me a locket the day he picked me up from hospital which I still wear on special occasions so it's like they are with me. X

Good afternoon ladies - Hope everyone is doing ok - I have a question, is it possible to ovulate twice in a cycle? I had a bit of pain in my side this morning and CM yesterday so did an ovulation test and the second line is darker than I expected, I should be getting my surge on Thursday really and I'm usually very regular ! Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? Xx

@Kate105 congratulations! That's great news

@Luan82 thanks for your comment. I hope the odds are on my side but after two ectopics I feel that I am jinxed.
I asked the dr I spoke to last time how many ectopics he had seen in one person and he said 4!

So I am 16dpo ( I assume I ovulated as had smiley face on clear blue) we dtd at the right times and I have no sign of AF. No cramps no sore boobs nothing. The lack of symptoms also have me thinking I can't possibly be pg as the last times I have had sore boobs and felt cramps and heady

I still have this niggling tight feeling in my tubeless side which I had with the last ectopic which is freaking me out. I am too scared to take a pregnancy test because it is it positive I am pretty sure it will be ectopic again ☹️☹️☹️

@hoppitt - bless you, I had no idea you'd had two ectopics - I have never heard of anyone having more than two !! I was always told that the odds that the sperm can meet the egg mean that the tube isn't completely blocked so there is also good chance the egg can also make it's way along if that makes sense? I was also told by the nurse when she gave me the injection that it can break down/remove the blockage in the tubes too. If you are late I do think it's really important that you take a test - every month I take a test about a week after my period just in case (last time I got my period and the levels took a long time to rise so only got a positive test a week after my period and only tested due to weird pains) if it's positive then you can at least know and get across to a EPU ASAP to start monitoring your hcg levels, worst case the earlier they catch it then the higher chance managing it with expectation management and medication over invasive surgery- if you need to talk just message me 😘xxx

Hi all, update from me - six weeks post op today. I'm doing fine for the majority of the time, happy and getting on with life, enjoying being back at work - though from home.

Two friends told me they were pregnant yesterday and I felt ok at the time, a bit "urgh" but pleased for them, Particularly as one had had a previous ectopic. But I feel like it's hit me more today. Had a few other friends checking in on me and I think that concern from them set me off crying.

I don't feel desperate for a kid right away thats not what is making me sad. It's more just being reminded of a traumatic time. It's the feeling of being robbed of the moments you'd imagines, the 'firsts', the first scan, the first time leaving the hospital watching others take their babies home as you're being wheeled out with no baby, the first time sharing the news with friends and it's not the news you'd wanted to share. I guess it's just dragged all those feelings back up again. I feel like I probably needed a good cry, I'm often too rational for my own good and don't cry very often as I talk myself round. Then when I do, it comes in floods.

Hi ladies hope you’re all well.. so I think AF might be arriving constant cramps and I wipe there is a light bloody discharge on the paper I have put a pad on I am hoping this is my first period it’s a month tomorrow since my hcg levels came back as zero any advice... i have the Flo app and pre ectopic I would have actually been due on tomorrow it’s like the thing had a word with my body on the sly xx

@Lililou - I was the same, only hit me when people were super nice and thoughtful and checked up on me almost like it validated my pain !! I have a niece who is now nearly a year old and seeing her today was very hard as she was born just before my ectopic - I realised today that I would have been due in a few weeks if the pregnancy has been in the right place so had a little moment to myself - it's absolutely ok to have a cry and not to be completely ok about it 😘xxx

@MumOf2LittleMinions57 I use Flo it really is very good - very accurate usually too, I remember that once my levels got to zero I went back to my usual cycle very quickly - thats good news as you can start tracking ovulation accurately too! Xx

@Luan82 thanks for the reply 😊 it’s very light atm so not 100% but to be fair my periods are not particularly heavy anyway and only usually last between 2 and 3 days... yes that app is amazing and so accurate it sent me a notification saying my period is due to tomorrow and i am ready spotting.. how are you??? Yes I might start those tests this month to make sure my body is ovulating.. I am not sure if to count today as day 1 as it’s only spotting? Xx

@MumOf2LittleMinions57 - mine are three days one day v heavy one day medium and final one light, I would wait and see how you are today - think you can log spotting on Flo too or log as a light period day instead? Currently on the build up to ovulation so started POAS this weekend as noticed change in my CM - due a surge Wednesday for OV Thursday I think- I'm good thanks lovely- was difficult this weekend when I realised This would have been my due month if the ectopic had been viable but I'm ok- we've got a phone consultation with the consultant Friday so hoping thinks move forward from there 🤞🏼 xx

@Luan82 oh wow that’s definitely hard hun I am so sorry you have to deal with this I never realised until now the pure heartache.. well Aunt Flo showed her ugly head this morning so my spotting was a build up for the main event.. I feel ok it’s made it feel final I honestly expected my cycles to be a right mess but my period came right on time app said due on today and that’s what’s happened xx

@MumOf2LittleMinions57 that really is good news ! Now you can start tracking OV properly ready for trying again! 🌈Xx

@Luan82 so pleased I can start my ovulation tests but won’t ttc for another 2 months so may will be my month.. I am worried as I feel awful today my arms hurt I feel like iam lacking in iron or something I am exhausted xx

Please look after yourself @MumOf2LittleMinions57 you’ve been through the mill! I took a multivitamin after my ectopic just to try and keep on top of things. If you’re feeling a bit anaemic it might help x

@Kate105 Thankyou hun, oh believe me I am trying I feel blessed not to have lost any of my tubes or have that injection. I was not expecting to feel like this though I am glad the doctors signed me off until next week not sure I could physically work. Xx

I have my follow up appt with the hospital tomorrow. Any advice on questions to ask? I had a really terrible experience with this hospital and submitted an official complaint that is being followed up by Patient Experience Team. This appointment is unrelated to the complaint and I'm not sure I really want to get into all that.

I'm thinking:

• asking for a copy of my notes from surgery
• do they know how close I was to rupturing
• How will I be dealt with next time I get pregnant eg. What are conditions for early scans? Will I get HCG levels monitored?

Anything else?

One thing I'm dreading is if the appt being with the doctor that was horrible to me last time. I referenced her in my complaint. I actually don't know how I'll even react or what to do. I really don't want to deal with her again.

Sounds like you’ve got it covered @Lililou, hope everything goes well today x

So we ended up talking about the complaint in the call, it was with a different doctor thank god! The doctor immediately apologised and continued to apologise a few more times throughout the call, that meant a lot and felt like a huge relief just for them to acknowledge it. I’d been made to feel like a silly little girl overreacting when I was originally going through the whole back and forth at the hospital so it almost took me by surprise how good they were on the phone. They said they’re aware of the feedback, it’s been shared with all involved, they were grateful for it too. She said a loss is still a loss and she was sorry for the way I was treated. She even said they’re looking at an option for 7 day scanning, where it may involve travelling to another hospital in the region but at least it is better than nothing.

It’s all made me feel very emotional again. I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting to discuss the complaint at all so I wasn’t really prepared for how I’d feel after it. It’s been good for getting that bit of closure but I think particularly after hearing about two friends’ pregnancies at the weekend, it’s hit me again and brought it all back. Just as life was going back to normal, the ectopic had started to feel like a bad dream. I spoke to my manager, she was very understanding and I took some time off today, had a good cry.

@Lililou I’m glad the different doctor was understanding, definitely helpful to have someone who is compassionate and shows that they care. Hope you are feeling better after some time off and a good cry x

@Lililou sometimes a good cry is all that will help! Can be very cathartic !! I had one on Sunday night after spending a few hours with my niece - to steal a phrase from the ectopic pregnancy trust - it's ok not to be ok sometimes xxx

@lililou I'm glad they were supportive about your complaint, hopefully they learn from it.

I too have had a very teary day today. My first cycle post hyfosy and AF arrived like clockwork this morning 😭 I also finally got my rubella blood test back and I'm not immune which means I have to have the vaccination again, one shot on Monday and another a month later, then wait another month to see if it's worked. The real shitter is that you aren't allowed to ttc whilst having it, so the next two cycles I can't even try. So much for the 3 months post hyfosy being extra fertile. Also means I won't be able to start IVF until at least June. I honestly feel like the world is against me. My baby should have been born in May and I just really hoped I could at least be pregnant by then and now there is not even the tiniest chance.

I really hate this shit 😭 so much love to all of you going through this 💔

@DoctorBambino oh you poor thing that really is very shitty !! I know I felt the same the first month after taking the supplements that are supposed to help clear my tubes I was so disappointed they didn't work right away that 2WW was insane with symptoms too- I really hate being a woman sometimes !! Big virtual hugs to you ❤️❤️❤️xxxx

I’m so sorry @DoctorBambino big hugs ❤️

Anyone else on here been diagnosed as suffering from Endo? I'm ovulating today (a day early!) and have noticed that the day I get my surge I always experience a heavy feeling in my uterus and pelvic area - today this started at lunch time and still have it now - it's not debilitating but it's an ache that I'm aware of and my uterus feels heavy and tender if that makes sense ? I'm wondering if this is a signifier of endometriosis.... obv the consultant suspects this but I can't get a surgery booked in to confirm either way - any advice would be much appreciated xxx