TTC after miscarriage

[lamby12]

Hi just wondered if anyone had any experience of continuing TTC after miscarriage. I had a loss at 5/6 weeks recently. The bleeding has now stopped (about 3 days clear) and I'm starting to feel back to normal physically. Emotionally I'm gutted as we have been trying for so long and a few close relatives who know have said we should wait a while to recover emotionally/physically.
Whilst I agree, I've also read that you're most fertile after a miscarriage and it's taken 18months of inconsistent ovulation/low hormones for me to get pregnant. I don't want to miss what could be an increased chance when my odds are low ordinarily.
The hospital said I should wait until a normal period for dating reasons only, they said nothing about risk of infection or complications getting pregnant straight away. I have no idea when I would ovulate (if) now.
Any experience out there?

@AmyFr hello lovely. I’m feeling ok thank you - haven’t got many symptoms just sore boobs and feeling a bit tired. How are you?
Ive read your previous posts - I used clear blue digital ovulation tests. So expensive but I found them reliable!! Sending lots of love to you all xx

Hi everyone,
Hope you don't mind me joining in... sorry for all of your losses ❤️

On Sunday morning I started bleeding heavily and on Tuesday it was confirmed I had a very early miscarriage 😓
Absolutely devastated and so worried to try again incase it happens again... I know it's not the right attitude but life is so cruel at times 😓
I think I'm going to wait until I have a period and then start from there...🤞🏻

@Toblerone12 I’m so sorry for you loss. It’s so unfair. Look after yourself, be kind to yourself. Do what is best for you.

@Emmav2020 aww lovely! Glad all is well - when is your first apt?

@SG121 glad you’re feeling ok and not too bad.

Ooh ok - I have just got two stronger lines so I think I will ovulate tomorrow or Saturday - mad, as it will be day 20 or 21 and my cycles aren’t normally this long (normally I ov day 16, pretty regularly), I wonder if it is the effect of the miscarriage, or just stress. I never thought I would say it, but I just want to be in the two week wait! If I have no joy this cycle, I will get the clear blue ones. Thanks 😊

@AmyFr I was clockwork ovulating on day 14-16 but then for the last few months I was ovulating on day 23-25 so my cycles would be about 5 weeks long so it’s definitely normal but I, too, would be annoyed at having to wait longer. I tried to enjoy the first 3 weeks of my cycle but it’s easier said than done! Xx
@Toblerone12 I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending lots of love and positivity to you xx

@SG121 oh that’s good to know! Annoying though! The body is a strange thing; I guess it knows what it is doing! I guess I can have a drink for a while longer 😆 and enjoy half term. Hope you’re having a good rest yourself!

Hi all,

Hope you don’t mind me joining. I had a miscarriage nearly two weeks ago on 7th feb. I was around 7 weeks and had taken a while to get pregnant, although I’m we have two sons so I know we are lucky.

Been really sad and disappointed, it was so shocking and just. Well just really shitty. We were so happy to be pregnant again.

Anyway, I know it’s early but I’m 37 so not keen to waste any time and we are trying again. I think I’m ovulating today (according to app and a few ovulation tests) so will see. Hoping for a quick bit of luck but I am worried.

Good luck to everyone, not read the full thread so going to try to catch up now xx

Hi ladies hope everyone is doing ok, sorry to those that have recently joined after suffering a recent miscarriage. Sorry for your losses.

Fingers crossed for some more BFPs soon.

I had been managing distraction quite well, was on AF last week so after the first day of disappointment I weirdly find that the easiest bit of the month. Because there's nothing you can do - no opks, no DTD, no tww...! I'm now waiting for ovulation in the next few days but actually not doing opks because I'm just feeling done with things this month. I'm just fed up of trying so much, everyone I know that had a loss for pregnant the month after and stayed pregnant so I feel like because I didn't I'm grieving all over again. I've just booked our next appointment with the private fertility consultant (we had the first, then I fell pregnant so we stopped the process). It's been like an acceptance that we're back on that path again, which I'm so frustrated about because it seems unfair when I was pregnant?! I'm not sure I'll get over it until I'm pregnant again - I've been so angry today after booking the appointment etc.

Anyone else feel like their grief has come back after being ok? I know it will go again, it's just the shift of going back to full blown TTC and accepting it's not happened immediately after the miscarriage.

Sorry if that was a vent!!!!

X

Oh @lamby12 absolutely - it is an up and down process dealing with any loss. Sending you big hugs. Everyone has different trigger points. It is so hard. 🤗 be kind to yourself. Even if you know you WILL be ok, it is ok not to be okay right now.

When is your appointment? Will be thinking of you.

I do know what you mean w the start of the cycle. I’m now FINALLY in the TWW, think I ovulated yesterday or day before... waiting for temp to rise more. I’m enjoying a few glasses of wine, and hopefully I won’t stress until next week 😂

Hope everyone is doing ok!

@lamby12 hey. I know exactly how you feel. I’ll have days when I’m fine and it’s all ok, and then the unfairness and sadness of it all hits me again. I’ve been seeing a therapist (was for other reasons, and then it conveniently overlapped with the miscarriage). She said it’s bound to happen, particularly if there is something that triggers the memory. I saw a pair by Chrissy Tiegen (John Legend’s wife who lost a baby in October) and she was talking about how he’s the due date is. That’s something I’m going to try and prepare myself for. If possible take a day off work and do something nice.
This weekend has been a bit rough. AF arrived yesterday and then today some friends told us that they’re expecting. Their baby is due a couple of weeks after ours was. It would have been amazing to be able to tell them that we were expecting as well. Of course I’m very happy for them but it’s hard. I’m just trying to focus on when we start IVF again (probably April).

@Absy I hope you are doing a bit better. Sending hugs. Triggers are hard. I’m sorry about Af too.

I saw my best friend for a walk yesterday - I would have been 6 weeks behind her. Actually it was really nice to talk to her and be excited for her - but I think that is because I have hope for this cycle. I feel like it might be harder if I wasn’t in the TWW And hopeful.

7dpo (I think). We will see... possibly slight cramping this eve but I know I symptom spot too much 😂

Thanks @AmyFr and @Absy for your replies. I'm really up and down at the moment, I think the further we get away from the miscarriage happening the more it's sinking in, along with this recent news (found out after the miscarriage) that I'm having premature ovarian failure. I feel like it could have been our last chance. Some days I'm fine, other days I'm so angry and upset I don't know what to do!

I'm sorry @Absy and @AmyFr** you both have close friends expecting. It's really difficult. One of my colleagues is having a virtual baby shower and I've made my excuses so I can't attend due to a meeting clash but I just can't bear all the baby talk. I've also got lots of friends and relatives expecting in may, and the closer it gets with me still not pregnant the worse it feels.

I know what you mean about the hopeful stage @AmyFr, fingers crossed this month is your month!

I think I ovulated today, but really missed DTD on time. We DTD a lot right after AF, for once it was for fun rather than TTC which was refreshing, but then totally not the right time! We DTD on Monday but I knew I wasn't due to ovulate until later this week. I felt a bit off yesterday and had lots of EWCM yesterday evening, took an OPK and it was positive but DH was on a night shift and not up for it this morning (despite me trying)... too tired. Can't blame him! I hate that I feel annoyed about it even though it's totally reasonable for him not to be up for it. I just feel every month might be our last chance.

Anyway, maybe Monday gives us a slim chance but I feel if we DTD we probably missed things as I'm sure I felt ovulation pain in the night.

We have our next private appointment next week so I'm obsessing about that already.

Hope everyone is ok. X

@lamby12 good luck with your appointment. Will be thinking of you!

I’m 9dpo or 10DPO. I feel crampy though and hungry like AF was coming so I am not sure I trust my DPO. I have tested and the usual faint or possibly imaginary line 😂 testing early is never kind; I wish I didn’t feel a compulsion to do it. We will see. I am grumpy and fed up so I think I am out. We will see... feeling very much like usual PMS. 🤦‍♀️

I have fingers crossed but I am losing hope a bit... 🤦‍♀️

Hi ladies, how are you all? I am 11dpo and felt miserable yesterday. I was so sure I was out. But out of habit, I took a test in the afternoon and a faint line came up. I then went to the pharmacy for a First Response, and had a pale pink but clear BFP. I had a negative test in the morning! This morning’s was clearer too. I will do a digital tomorrow (and then stop testing as I think I will just worry).

So now I have fingers crossed for this pregnancy. I am nervous and scared. I won’t be telling people except I need to tell my work - I will be back face to face teaching hundreds of kids a day from next week, which scares me as I had Covid when I had the first miscarriage. I don’t know what they can do for a risk assessment though... and I might be getting ahead of myself as period is due Tuesday. So we will see what happens.

@SG121 did you speak to your work?

😬

Yay huge congratulations @AmyFr!
Yes I spoke to work when I was next in so I would have been just about 4 weeks but I wanted my head teacher to know. Haven’t told anyone else in work but wanted her to know incase anything happened again and also for when the kids go back! I would let them know and let them know how early it is. My midwife said you work from home from 28 weeks x

@SG121 Thanks! 🤞 How are you doing? How are you feeling?

If all goes well, I think I will let them know next week sometime, maybe the end of the week. I need to go past Tuesday when I would have AF. 🤞 I’m not in physically next week so we will be back before I can do it. I will have to let four people know (two head teachers, HR and my Head of Department). We will see.... I feel nervous typing this. 😬

Yes, I’ve heard work from home from 28 weeks. Some schools are not happy about that though. We will see what happens. I’m glad your headteacher knows. Is he/ she supportive? Did your midwife have any advice? x

@AmyFr yes I think it worked out that I was in the day after AF was due so that’s when I told her - I was going to wait but she was so great when I had the mc so wanted to let her know early. She’s been great - haven’t had a risk assessment or anything yet though but will see what it’s like when kids are back and talk to her if I’m uncomfortable. When we go back I will also tell deputy headteacher if all carries on well. I’m feeling ok - hardly any symptoms and they seem to come and go! Got my 8 week early scan next week so anxiously waiting on that. No the midwife asked if she was supportive and I said yes so didn’t need to give advice - suppose it all depends on if government advice changes or not? Very exciting but nervous times - message me whenever as I totally understand x

@SG121 Thanks lovely. I really appreciate it.

And that’s really good! My head of department was fab when I had the m/c too, so I know she will be supportive. It does help having supportive and approachable management. I think I am going to push for a risk assessment asap as I teach across four year group bubbles and do the radio for students who are kicking off in a different year group so I’m hoping I can switch the radio duty to one of the year groups I actually teach to limit additional contact but we will see... I don’t really know what accommodations can be done for social distancing; it’s not possible to get to lessons without walking shoulder to shoulder with at least fifty plus pupils in the same corridor 😂 So I am definitely nervous about that... I’m sure other people at my school must be pregnant (we have 200 staff 😆) so I’m thinking someone will have gone through this...

Exciting times for your early scan! Did you get it through the EPU or go private? Will be thinking of you! Is your other half able to go too? And glad you are feeling ok symptom wise too! x

First of all huge congratulations @AmyFr !! ⭐️

Haven't posted in a while; just feeling a bit sh*tty about the whole situation again.
I think I'm around 13 dpo, I've done about 3 hpt and all negative, so deflating. Although I don't feel af coming along...
I'm pretty sure we missed the window for dtd but I'm just hoping and praying 🙏🏼
If I'm out for this month I'm setting out a written schedule for my OH for next month!

Also one of my work friends who I'm fairly close too, announced her pregnancy yesterday all over Facebook.. we knew eachother was pregnant at around 6/7 weeks ( we had our due dates the same week 😢)
Then I had to tell her I had a MC and now I have to watch her grow until she leaves at 28 weeks!

To top it off... I work in a neonatal unit and I didn't think it would be so hard going back to work.. but I was wrong 😞

Anyway rant over.

Hope everyone is feeling a bit better than me on Monday morning! xx

Oh @jodielouise26 all of this is so difficult, and so triggering. I’m so sorry it’s all so close to home. It must be so difficult to have someone else pregnant at the same time; someone I know (but don’t see anymore) announced on facebook and we would have been the same week, which was hard enough. My best friend is two months ahead of where I would have been too. I found that incredibly hard. I wish I could give you a hug. Have you told anyone else at work? Could you work in slightly different areas for a bit?

I will have fingers crossed for you. Maybe you ovulated late? I honestly thought I was out on Saturday morning, and was incredibly fed up, so I will have fingers crossed for you.

Be kind to yourself. I hope your day improves a bit and you can do something nice for yourself. Thinking of you. 🤗

@AmyFr
Aw Thankyou 🙂

I told maybe 5/6 people at work because there's so much you're not supposed to do if pregnant (X-rays, potential covid patients etc)
Can't work anywhere else, we only look after babies so I'm surrounded by up to 20 little ones a day; even collecting then to bring to special care straight after birth! My manager is supportive of the situation; she's been there three times herself but there's not much that can be done about where I work.
It's when having conversations with the new mummies they say "do you have any children; you will be well prepared" 😬
I'm sure it will get better; my time will come I guess.

That sounds promising; fingers crossed for me too!

Sending you all the best wishes possible ! 🌈 xx

@AmyFr congrats! So pleased for you that's such great news!! I have everything crossed for you.

I am 4/5dpo so in that awful time where I can't rest yet but I can't stop thinking about it and symptom spotting. I don't think there's anything I can pinpoint symptom wise, I never know these days - one minute I feel 100% pregnant the next minute I remind myself it's way to early!

I don't know if I'm even in this month, we DTD on CD11 but not after as I didn't feel well and neither did OH. I got a positive OPK on CD13 PM but had lots of twinges on CD 15 so I think I ov'd on 14 or 15. I feel like we were probably way to early as I'm not sure 3-4 days can happen. So all my hoping may be in vain this month!!!

X

@AmyFr congratulations! That’s amazing news. I hope it goes well

@jodielouise26 that must be unbelievably hard. I can’t imagine having to go and work with lots of babies after going through a pregnancy loss. Must be so hard

@Absy yeah not the easiest but I'll get there :) x

@jodielouise26 I hope you’re doing ok today lovely. That sounds so hard. It is ok not to be ok. 🤗

@lamby12 Thank you lovely. Oh bless you! I hate the wait. Fingers crossed for you! Sperm survives for five days too, so you’re not out by those dates!

@Absy Thank you. I hope you’re doing ok yourself.

I feel so nervous each time I go to the loo and wipe 🤦‍♀️ I hope this goes....

🤗 x

@AmyFr not too bad today thankyou lovely ! Hope you're okay too :) x