TTC after MC - Dec/Jan 2020 (Thread 16)

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I think I worked out how to make a new thread!! Tag yourselves/place mark to continue our chats from before :)

@HappyVibes could I please ask when you started to take COQ10 in your cycle? I have some in the house. I am due my period tomorrow (tests have been negative) and to be honest, I really hope it comes sooner rather than later. This is my first period since my miscarriage and just want it over with! Xx

@CLSM if you took a test this evening and you are testing early it's unlikely to be accurate, you should really use FMU and try and wait until AF is due.

@Susiebluebell no!!! I'm sorry you're feeling like this, please stay optimistic. It'll happen ❤️

Aww @CLSM sorry to hear that ☹️. Which digital was it ? And did you hold your wee for at least 3 hours ? If not then there could still be a chance yet ! 🙂 xx

@RichmondLady1981 thanks so much for all your info - so knowledgeable. I might try coq10 then. Also, would you mind sending me the details of the clinic you went to?
@susiebluebell sorry to hear you’re also feeling down. It’s such a shit feeling and the worst thing is only you can pull yourself out of it. Admittedly, I’ve not been temping or using opks properly for the last two months. But I always did OPKS on the last day and caught my peak and then we DTD. But I think we haven’t dtd enough and not in the fertile window. Also, for the last two months I haven’t done any exercise, no yoga, stressing, too much work and not eating healthily. So, maybe I need to get back on track before I look into all the testing but if I could have the details of the tests/test centres I guess I could try and book in some appointments as I suppose it will be weeks/months before I even get an appointment. It’s just not easy for us, ladies, is it...xxx

Sorry @Hanbanxx I haven’t taken COQ10 lovely. I know that some others in here have so hopefully they can advise xxxx

@MSG92 AF due today
@SophW194 used clear blue digital

@elsimo yay that looks like you've found your "peak"! So yes, you should ovulate within 12-24 hrs (or thereabouts) of finding your peak! 😃

@RichmondLady1981 and others, wow sounds like QoQ10 could be worth getting! Thanks! 😃

@CLSM I hope she doesn't arrive, but definitely use FMU. I have no experience with clear blue, I always went with pink dye not blue. Fingers crossed for you🤞

@elsimo amazing!!! That looks a good line! Keep testing over the next day or so as you might still get a higher test just yet...once you see it go down that means you’ve definitely found your peak. Good luck girl. Once it confirms your definite peak, you’ll ovulate anywhere upto 48 hours thereafter.💫💓

@Firevie For me, focusing on eating relatively well and doing a short workout every day is a LIFELINE, and it's always how I pull myself out of negative spirals like this. I think you were quite active before, weren't you? I'm sure focusing on that again would help. I'm so sorry you've been having a hard time, but so relieved that it's not just me! Xx

Could I please ask when everyone first had their period after a miscarriage? I miscarried at 6 weeks on 29th November. I had a peak ovulation test on 23rd December so assume I ovulated on Christmas Eve. My period is due today, I have no symptoms to suggest it’s coming and all pregnancy tests are negative. We had been TTC this cycle but I would happily welcome period at this point so I know my body is back to normal xx

Hi @Hanbanxx seems to be really different for everyone. I had surgical management for MMC on 2nd December at 11 weeks, wasn't tracking ov but got my period 2nd January (31 days) I wasn't expecting it so soon tbh but I think anything up to 6 weeks after is normal post MC

I just feel so upset AF still not here but it’s like every month I get my hopes up that it’s happened. It’s so hard going throw ovulation sticks and tww and all that again after already being pregnant and miscarrying

@bez91 it will be 6 weeks on Sunday so really hope it comes by then xx

Morning @Hanbanxx really feel for you. Mine was a 25day gap between MC & AF. However after that they were up and down in length. It genuinely is completely normal for them to be all over the place and the length significantly varies for each woman. I know sooooo many women on here have asked the exact same question and each time, the replies are all so so varied. I know that really doesn’t help you gage anything at all for when you are likely due on, but hopefully it’s some form of reassurance that it is common for this to happen. Hoping something shows up for you soon lovely as I know how you feel re wanting to get a clear indication either way where your body is up to. 💓💓

@HappyVibes oh I didn't realise it was as long as 48 hrs after! Good to know! 😃

@Hanbanxx urgh that's really frustrating! As the others say, it really varies! It's good that you ovulated though, but likely that you'll have a longer cycle this month! 😘 Hope the witch comes soon for you!

@CLSM sending you much love! The whole process is so frustrating and disheartening! Give yourself extra TLC today! 😘

@elsimo too many pictures of the same test in a row, it is quite hard to track the change of the color in this way. I would keep testing to make sure if the ratio goes down and stays low in the next few days so you would not miss a true peak.
BD on the peak day and the day after, these two days should be the most fertile days.

Hi everyone

@Hanbanxx I think it is, like the others have said, something that is different for everyone. I am the same as you though with wanting to try and get some sort of answer. I am only 19 days past medical management for MMC and I've googled about periods after miscarriage about 1000 times!

I took a first pregnancy test following the miscarriage yesterday (18 days after medical management) and it was a positive, which I was expecting it to still be. I used a FRER so atleast now I have a line to go off to compare the next one with and make sure they are getting less🤞
Does anyone have any advice on how long to leave it until I test again and see if it has faded? Would it have to be atleast a full week?

They told me to test after 2 weeks (after surgical management) @NatJ24 and then when it was still positive they said leave it another week. I’m now on 4w2d and had a faint line still yesterday so giving it another few days before I test again. I’ve just been kind of testing a few times. Think I’ve tested like 6 times now to check!

@PumpkinEverything thank you! The hospital told me to do one after 3 weeks so thats why I hadn't done one yet but I have read some NHS things that say 2 weeks after. I think I'll do another one Sat/Sun then and see if there is any difference in the one from yesterday and then do similar to you every few days. It is mad going from testing for a positive and wanting the lines to get darker to now testing for a negative and wanting then to disappear!!

Good Morning Ladies,

@CLSM hope you get an answer soon. Frustrating as it may be, its really is just going to have to be a waiting game and retesting after a couple of days like the others have said.

@firevie Sorry that you are feeling low, big internet cuddles.

@m4v3r1ck thank you for the welcome!!

@Susiebluebell thank you so much!

@elsimo looks like you had your peak yesterday so I would expect you are going to ovulate either today or tomorrow (for me, I always ovulate the day after my peak. I would keep testing and when your levels start to drop you know that you hopefully should have ovulated! Unfortunately, the only was you can really confirm it is by tracking your BBT. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Which CoQ-10 do people use? I did look into it before, but really couldnt figure out what I was looking for!! I think if I dont catch this month then might look into getting this!

My cycle is also a bit all over the place! Had a temp increase yest but negatives on OPK, temp dropped today and still negatives on OPK, was supposed to ovulate tomorrow but I doubt that will happen so reckon I am going to ovulate late this month. Annoying really because last night was a really successful BD! (for context, me and OH dont DTD very often so the TTC journey has been quite difficult for us as OH really struggles to DTD on weekday and often it doesnt work - I never thought I would be the one wanting to DTD all the time instead of OH). Because of the delay in ovulation, I am fully expecting my cycle to be longer this month.

Just to update you all AF is here I’m devastated!

Hey. I’ve seen a lot of PP mention that their miscarriage has brought their DP/DH and them closer. Is anyone experiencing the opposite?

My DH seems to have completely moved on whereas I’m still grieving the baby that we lost. I’m angry at him as feel as if he must not have cared about the baby as much as I did. He just seems to be happily going about his business like he would have pre miscarriage. Don’t feel that we are on the same page at all.

It’s probably worse as he now wants to wait a few months before TTC. This wasn’t expected as I assumed that we would try again as soon as AF arrived and I began to track cycles. I’m almost 37 so don’t feel as if I have much time to dither about. I resent him for this and don’t even want to be in the same room as him at the moment.

I think that’s normal @bubblybrit and people deal with things differently. Some people like to try to get back into routine and normality as a way of coping. I took two weeks off work whereas my husband took 2 days as he preferred to work (from home at least) to distract him. I wouldn’t say we’re any closer or further since this all happened, mostly the same! He doesn’t think the same way I do though. Yesterday my stepdads mum died. She was in a nursing home for 10 years, and we weren’t super close and she had forgotten who we all were 3 years ago (dementia). He didn’t bring it up again after I told him yesterday, whereas for me the news brought up a lot of feelings of loss for me (I also lost my Granda last March) and I felt really down and fed up yesterday (plus this mysterious bleeding showed up yesterday evening and then has gone again today). He thought I was in a bad mood last night because he was playing a game online with his friends, whereas I was actually upset that he hadn’t bothered to check on whether I was okay. I told him all this an hour ago and ended up crying about it all and now he understands. I feel like I have to keep talking about things as otherwise he would never guess himself. So what I’m trying to say is have you tried talking to him? He could be not wanting to bring it up himself so as not to upset you?

@bubblybrit They don't feel the same about the baby. They just don't. Your partner can be the most supportive empathic person and long for a child as well, but they don't have the hormonal and instinctive experience that women have when they get pregnant, even if the pregnancy is brief.

I was very resentful towards my partner for seeming unaffected by the mc and being very blasé about TTC, and it took me breaking down in tears months afterwards for him to clock how affected I still was. Our communication is much better now and we're finally on the same page.

It takes two to tango unfortunately and you can't force him to want something in the same time frame as you. It may be that he is processing the event in a different way and that's why he wants to wait (again not having the experience of the instinctive urge to conceive again ASAP). I don't have any real advice except keep communicating 💕 and vent on here xx