been ttc #1 since forever...

[nomoremagnolia]

Feeling very fed up with failing every month and wondered if there's anyone in the same boat? It's a lonely boat on a journey to nowhere at the moment, but if anyone else wants to join me, some company would be nice

Hello girls.

We went to visit a friend yesterday with her week-old baby, and I managed not to blub. In fact, I didn't feel a thing, which is even odder, except when DP held the baby, and looked at it all soppily, and i felt such a failure for not being able to give him that. Oh, and apart from this morning on the way into work when sad songs came on my iPod and I wanted to cry. So, I'm FINE.

But, on the plus side, got my day21 results back, and my prog level was a whopping 71. Apparently, anything over 30 means ovulation has occurred, so goodness knows what 71 means. Next stop, sperm count on Wednesday.

Hi all- can I join at this late stage. I've tried to stay away from MN in my attempt to curb my obsession- it didn't work, so Im back!. Now would love some support.

Similar boat to many of you. TTC for 20 months. One pregnancy in there (right away) that sadly ended in mmc. Started trying right away and here I am 16 months later with not a sausage. Have been on clomid and then had lap and dye etc. Supposedly no reason for why it is not happening.

herbaceous - well done you for seeing your friend! BIG HUGS - you are not a failure! Music is always the worst isn't it! Those songs pulling at your heartstrings ...

lulu1414 - Welcome. Sorry to hear you having troubles. I'm Rah, 32 was TTC for 18months, fell pregnant but lost the pregnancy at 24 weeks and then been TTC for another 15 months. No reasons for us either, had lap & Dye etc... and currently taking clomid and IUI.
Did the clomid give you night sweats?

Hi everyone else!

herby 71 is great! I have just met a colleague's baby and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I have to remind myself that there are not a limited number of babies and that someone else is not taking a baby away from me by having one. Does that make any sense?
lulu welcome
We're off to the ivf clinic tomorrow, I phoned to say we couldn't make the appt they'd given us and the offered us a cancellation! Am still in shock I think!

nomoremagnolia - fab news on the clinic... (i'm in shock too!) Good luck at your appointment tomorrow!!!

Hi lulu. Welcome to the retreat away from 'help, I had sex on Friday but am not pregnant yet' type threads! My brief history - 42, been pregnant four times since I was 39 but lost them all to mc (at 6, 11 and 13 weeks). Last mc was in March 2007, and nothing since.

NMM - good luck at the clinic! How exciting, yet scary...

This sounds like my kind of place! I'm so sick of the "I went off the pill yesterday and now think I'm pregnant!" threads.

Rah- I think we have been on the same threads before. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I lost mine at 13 weeks and having such trouble TTC makes it all the more bitter, no? Good luck with the clomid. Yes, I do think the clomid gave me nights sweats. I think it is pretty normal. Even though I'm off them I still get night sweats- I think usually just before AF- something to do with hormones and supposedly normal. Clomid also made me pretty emotional, although it took me a awhile to realise.

Nomore- we have also been on the same thread! looks like a few familiar faces here. Good luck at the clinic tomorrow. What is the trip for the cilinic for?

Herb- I'm so sorry for your losses- I really feel for you.

Sounds like I am in good company here.

I've just started using OPKs for the first time and am also using an ISIS scope. The problem is that since my lap and dye my cycles are crazy- 35 days, 37 days 45 days then 21 days!!!

Gilly- we are twins! I also had a mc in Oct 06 and no luck since and am almost 34 (next month) DH is 32. Hopefully we will both get some luck soon.

I know what you mean re people with babies. I found out last week that good friend is pregnant (a surprise) and then SIL is also pregnant (a surprise) totall threw me- cried loads but bounced back.

I was really worried about seeing the baby, and thought I'd freak out, but then thought that even if I was upset (though try not to actually cry in front of new mother!), this was perfectly normal, Ok, etc, and rather than brushing it under the carpet would help me come to terms with it all, blah blah.

I feel less 'raw' about it all than I did in the six months or so post-miscarriages, but still when someone announces a pregnancy I feel very weird. Sick, and insane. But it does pass. You have to allow it to come over you, then it passes on, like a cloud.

Herb- I agree- I finally turned a corner about a year after the miscarriage. I think a holiday away really helped and put things into perspective. I now realise I was really depressed that whole year and really raw but pretended I was OK. Now it hurts, but I bounce back much more quickly. We are thinking about getting a puppy now!

Hi Everyone,
Havent posted for ages but do try to keep up.
nomore let us know how the appointment goes as soon as you can!
I havent posted for a while due to nail bitingly waiting for my appointment on the 10th march............still seems like ages away. This is where i get the in depth outcome of the internal scan and the L&D, the bare bones were that left tube is blocked so no idea what they will say going forward. I imagine IUI will be mentioned but the waiting list is about 7 months or more, can I take that?? Is it expensive to go private for IUI? Has anyone looked in to it?I am nearly 34 and was told that the IVF waiting list is 2-3 years but you are removed when you hit 36........not good. Now wonder everyone spends a fortune going private. I have to say i think you guys who have suffered MC are so brave to see all the new babies, i havent had to suffer that torture, and i am terrified if i do fall pg thats what will happen.
herb you are so right about alowing your feelings, i think if you deny them you will suffer more in the long run.

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted, but I have been distracted by new job (loving it even though still not sure what "it" is!).

Hi to Lulu and Viksam - welcome!

Herbaceous, I totally understand about the new baby visits and announcements. I would have had our baby next month had it not been for m/c instead I have to go and see cousin and their first born which is due in the next 2 wks. Of course I am pleased, but also absolutely dreading it particularly as I had hoped we could enjoy our babies together .

No More - How did you get on at the clinic? Hope all is well......

Coggy - Any news??? Hope you are good.

Ready - If lurking, hope you are ok and the sun shines for you each morning

Gilly - Your appt in April will be with you before you know it. Its so hard trying to be (a) patient!

RahRah - Hope you are well!

Choc Days - Hope you are both well

If I have missed anyone - forgive me!

Lastly a colleague of mine admitted that years ago for a bit of fun she and her husband did a "spell" for them to stay together for always. Then last week she dream't that I did a "spell" which involved a nutmeg but as I was loving new job, wanted to delay ttc so nutmeg was put under the stairs. The problem was the nutmeg continued to grow..... Not sure I believe in it but then what have I to lose?

Unfortunately Kd it's bad news for me.
AF has been trying to appear over the past 3 or 4 days and I had a BFN yesterday morning.

The progesterone drugs I've been taking are slowing AF up which is frustrating because I have to keep telling myself that it's the drugs and not a possible anything else!!!

Thanks for asking.
X

Hi guys, Thought I'd pop in and see how you are all doing.

So sorry to hear your news coggy .

Good luck at the clinic nomore.

Hello to everyone else.

Dear Coggy, I am so very sorry to hear things are not looking good. I had been lurking and had hoped that a) no news was good news and b) I would find you on the "omg I bd 20 mins ago and am now pg" thread.

My friend and colleague brought me a nutmeg and it is now safely ensconsed under pillow until I go to bed when it will be placed under bed. I hope you will accept this from me : -

images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8b/Nutmeg_p1 160003.jpg/786px-Nutmeg_p1160003.jpg&imgrefurl=commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Nutmeg_p11600 03.jpg&h=600&w=786&sz=72&hl=en&start=11&um=1&tbnid=rKHySzvmwnumdM:&tbnh=109&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3F q%3Dnutmeg%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

Sorry I don't know how to just do link

Hi all

Coggy - thinking of you and sending you lots of love... XX

nomoremagnolia - How did it go at the clinic?

Lulu and Viksam - welcome

I'm on Cd6 and went to the clinic yesterday and no eggs that are making a big appearance yet so I don't have to go back until next Monday! Yay

Have a good day!

Thank you all.
I'm fine now...got a few more options ahead with a follow-up appointment in 3 or 4 weeks time and an adoption information meeting perhaps in a fortnight....so we shall see.

Best of luck coggy. Why is life so UNFAIR. I think i might have a tantrum, RIGHT HERE, on your behalf.

DP's 'produce' successfully whizzed round to hospital this morning. He's not going to do that again in a hurry - just hope it hasn't put him off anything remotely sexual for good.

hello ladies - would you mind if I joined you on this thread? It would be great to join you and I have been lurking for a while

I have been posting on the 2WW thread and also the Waiting Room, but I think I owuold be more at home here if you'll have me .

Gilly and Lulu shared some stuff about themselves below. I am 32 and we have been TTC#1 for 15 months. DH had the results of his sperm test and it was "very low" and he has retreated into his cave and it has put quite a strain on us. He's seeing the doctor next week again and goign for further tests. Presumably I will have to also.

to coggy - I am so sorry things are not looking good. Thinking of you.

Gryffin- welcome. I'm new here too. Definitely sounds like you would be home here. I feel i have now found my MN place! Sorry to hear about the sperm results- must be a bit difficult for them, but then it seems like so much of this TTC thing centres around us and us feeling guilty for not succeeding. Hopefuly you both will get some answers next week and maybe there are things he can do to boost his swimmers. it only takes one...

coggy- I'm so sorry. I've read many of your posts and it sounds like things have been unbelievably shite.

Lulu.... That sums it all up beautifully!!

I am sorry to hear about your DH's low motility and fingers crossed for his second test next week. We seem to be in roughly the same boat. I amd the same and believe that it is most definitely our problem, not DH's, but he is still in his cave. he will come round, 'cause he's not the long-term cave-dweller type!

herbaceous - is your DH also going for testing? We are still at early stages of investigating fertility and the sperm test came back "very low - further tests required" but no further detail and I feel very naive and helpless, even with Google .

nice to "meet" everyone and for the lovely welcome gilly and lulu .