TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

[30somethingyorkie]

Thought I'd start this post as hoping there are some lovely ladies in a similar boat to me.

DH and I are now 8 months in TTC and no luck. We both really want it to happen though he does have a son already so not always as emotional about AFs arrival every month as I am.

I know it's early days still and some have to go a lot longer but I'm now starting to get to the worried/upset stage. Get pangs of sadness when I see a baby bump or something pregnancy related in the shops, on TV or online.

Would love to hear and support others who are in the same boat as me

@MJM1608 sorry to hear about your loss, it must be so hard but good you got positive news from the docs, that's got to give you a bit of peace of mind!
Interesting to hear docs views on OPKs, part of me thinks it's just something to make us all feel a bit more in control. I'm going to be trying them for the first time this month.

According to my app I'm a few days away from ovulation but going to use OPKs to see if it syncs.

@PardonMyFrancais you just never know do you with symptoms!! They could be one or the other, it's so unfair playing that waiting game. I know if I feel anything I presume it's nearly time for AF so I don't get so disappointed

@Lovebug06 you have 100% nailed it, exactly how I feel too!! He absolutely wants a baby but part of me feels he wouldn't be devastated like I would be if it didn't ever happen because at least he's already got one

@30somethingyorkie Thanks 💗 deffo feel like a weight lifted off our shoulders! Tbh I’m not going to fully listen to what he said about OKPs as most people do find them effective & woman naturally want to have more definitive answer on ovulation. I use them because I want to know exactly when my surge is & then I can count my dpo. I would recommend using them as my app’s are never that accurate! Hopefully this month is the month for you then 🤞🏼 Are you going for ICs or clear blue? I use clear blue advanced ovulation which I find really good but so pricey! xx

@MJM1608 to start with just going for ICs and bought a BBT thermometer to see if that helps too. If they fail then will probably step up to clear blues. Though saying that I've spent a small fortune on Pregnacare... is there such a thing as too much FA, 8months of taking it daily 🧐😳

@30somethingyorkie hopefully ICs this month is all you need! I know this TTC business isn’t cheap!! With OPKs, pregnacare & all the early tests that are BFNs🙃 no I don’t think so, the doc was pleased we were taking it so I think it’s safe to continue! I’m on CD8 so ovulating next week, maybe we’re at similar stages & can hand hold in the TWW😊 xx

@MJM1608 I’m replying on my phone so trying to remember your previous post - memory is awful 🤣 but I do know so many people who have ditched the OPKS and fallen within a few months. I think it can really stress some people out and even DTD on the “perfect” days it may not happen. It’s so disappointing. I think I’ve had enough DTD to last me a lifetime!!!! 😂 I’m 6dpo today so ahead of you, and in the dreaded TWW. I must say FW is defo my favourite. I don’t feel as obsessive or stressed lol! X

@Lovebug06 oh my god, I feel this SO much. DH is exactly the same as he has a DC. He’s very supportive, gets disappointed but nothing like I do. And I am the same, I so want to be a mum, whereas he is already a dad. This is the first time he’s actively tried, and he’s very much of the mindset that “it’ll happen when it’s meant to. Don’t stress.” Etc etc. He’s so rational, I am not haha!! DC is always asking us when they’ll have a brother or sister 😅 I’m on month 10 ✨

How’s everyone? Nearly Friday!! X

@Izzie94 haha I know - what do you usually use? I use my phone browser & always having to scroll up... is there a better way? :o! Yes totally agree! It becomes so obsessive & really hard to relax (no matter how much to tell yourself to), really want to take a more laid back approach with DTD often then see what happens.. we normally do this but take 2 OKPs a day in fertile week even if it means holding in your pee for hours 😂

Eeek half walk through, when are you going to test? Fingers crossed for you! 🤞🏼 Total agree, feel like a different person in the TWW - so moody, anxious, can’t think about anything else.. it’s horrible! Hopefully this is your last one! 💕💕 xxx

@MJM1608 Yes!!! Phone browser 😂 I think there’s an app that makes it easier. But we clearly like making it difficult for ourselves haha!! It really does, I definitely think as the months have gone on I feel so much more relaxed and can’t even imagine getting a BFP now! 😅 haha I’m so bad at holding my wee! I’ve definitely had a few months where we’ve DTD less but then you feel like you’re missing an opportunity. Catch 22!!

I’m definitely going to wait until AF is due, I’ve had months where I’ve tested early and made myself miserable. I prefer to live in my own bubble of that I could be for a little longer 🤣 I’m really hoping by Christmas ✨ thank you lovely. Fingers crossed for us both 💓 x x x

@30somethingyorkie it's just a different experience for them isn't it. I hope this is your month.
@izzie94 yes that's exactly it. My dh also hasn't tried before so he seems a bit confused that it hasn't just happened 😂 but he also says the whole it'll happen when its meant to stuff. It's true but I kind of want him to understand my upset sometimes.
To the message you put to the lady above, I've also ditched the opks. I found it stressful, dh found it stressful and I weren't getting anywhere anyway so I'm on month 2 without them. I feel more relaxed but now AF time is coming I'm a bit anxious! I'm a month behind you. 12 dpo on cycle 9.

@Izzie94 haha might need mobile app then but I fear I will becoming too addicted!! It’s sad to think you wait for your period just so you’re put out of your misery! Glad you’re feeling relaxed! Some of my friends just DTD 2/3 days around their peak & have fallen pregnant so I don’t think it needs to be literally every other day of the month 😂 it sucks the fun out of it when you schedule it in doesn't it!

Loving your positive energy! Totally agree it’s nice to have that bubble of hope in the TWW 😊 let us know how you get on! Everything crossed for you 🤞🏼 Xxx

@Lovebug06 glad to hear that ditching the OPKs have made you more relaxed - I am taking this approach! I will take 1 on the day I think is my peak. How do you count your DPO without using them - by your EWCM? When will you be testing - or are you strong enough to wait for AF? Fingers crossed she doesn’t arrive & this is your month 🥰 xxx

@Lovebug06 literally!! They’re so rational aren’t they, what they say is so true but I totally get that you want them to be on your level. I feel that! I think the worst part is that sometimes I feel like it’s my fault because he hasn’t struggled before! So you instantly blame yourself don’t you 😅 oh really? I definitely think it’s the best way, just DTD when you want, I have friends who’ve DTD once during the month and fell pregnant!!! (I’m secretly very jealous 😂) I defo think being more relaxed helps our entire body. ✨ when’s AF due? I really hope this is your month and we can be two very excited women in a few days 🥰 x

@MJM1608 hahaha literally!!! I usually come and check every day on here but I try not to always reply and get too into it, because it doesn’t help with thinking about it constantly 🤣 it’s so true. I have many friends whom have fallen pregnant outside their “FW”. Sometimes I think we know too much!! None of my pregnant friends know this much about fertility as they were all so lucky within 4 months max 😅 Yes I will lovely 🥰 thank you. Fingers crossed for all of us this month ✨ we’ve got this!! Xxx

@MJM1608 yes I know roughly when it is as my cycles are 26/28 days and the ewcm too. So I'm going with that at the moment. AF due today. Not been to the toilet for a while but last time I went it hadn't come yet. I was obsessed by testing too but I found it even worse when i got negatives than the actual period for some reason! Need to go to the loo but I'm dreading looking, if that makes sense? Hope this is your month x

@izzie9 yes it does feel like it must be my fault, but hopefully that isn't the case. I'm waiting on AF right now, I'm so anxious 😂 I'll probably be crying in a bit when it comes as usual lol but you never know! Hope this is the month for you x

What a lovely supportive thread. I just wanted to say you're definitely not alone, and hoping this month is your month! (I'm also 32, OH is 34, and this is our sixth month trying.)

@Lovebug06 haha it definitely won’t be!! I think we all forget that 12 months is standard for TTC, it’s average and unfortunately we were dealt this card because we can deal with it and we will get there ✨🥰 ahhhhh my fingers are crossed for you!!! Keep us updated I really hope it’s your month ✨ xx

@chillyfields welcome lovely! It’s a long journey isn’t it. Although completely normal it feels somewhat unfair compared to other people’s short journeys 😔 but it’ll happen for us all, and it’ll be SO very worth it. What CD are you? Let’s hope it’s your sixth and final ✨ x

@Izzie94 yeah a year is normal I think, just doesn't feel it when there's so many people pregnant and saying it was an accident or it only took a few weeks!

I am out. Woke up this morning to AF. There wasn't anything on the pad so I was like so I grabbed a cup to pee in to test, then I wiped and the tiniest bit was on it, and I knew it was done. Pee straight back down the loo 😂 I feel crap but I actually haven't cried like normal. Can't actually imagine AF not coming if you know what I mean?

I love this thread. I've joined a few but when there's so many people sometimes your messages get missed, or if you don't read it for a couple of days there's so much happening and I get a bit lost! This thread is great. Good luck girls, baby dust to you all.

Op I didn't want to read and run as I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband and I tried to conceive for three years. Had all the tests. He was fine. My hormones were a mess and I wasn't ovulating at all. Dr said she would refer us for ivf. We were devastated. A week before our firsts ivf consultation we found out I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it. We now have three children 6, 4 and 7 months. My only advice is don't let them say you are "too young" for tests I was only 20. I pushed and pushed and they eventually went ahead. I think as a general rule they will iffer you hormone testing once you have been trying a year? Big hugs. Please feel free to ask me any questions about our journey xx

@Lovebug06 So sorry AF has arrived 😔 this process never gets easier. You almost just get used to her arriving no matter how much you hope she doesn’t. Hope you’re OK today, nothing wrong with having a “me” day chilling and feeling sad - it’s a Sunday after all!! Sorry you didn’t get your BFP this month & hope the next cycle is a postive one for you! 🌈💜

@Izzie94 I feel so surprised that no one told me before we started trying how mentally tough this journey is! I have a few close friends with kids & no one said it was this hard! I didn’t even know what ovulation was until I started trying 😂 I know lucky people falling pregnant so quick 😊 probs not going to get easier but at least there is so much support out there like on this thread 💖 got to stay positive & power on! Hope you get your BFP soon 🤞🏼✨

@chillyfields welcome to this lovely supportive thread 🥰 hopefully this is your lucky cycle 🤞🏼As the months go on, it doesn’t make it any easier but definitely makes you want it more! When that BFP comes it will be amazing 💜 xxxx

@Lovebug06 I know it happens, but I honestly no longer believe in “accidents” no way!!! 🤣 I wish we could perform some accidents haha!

Owww lovely 😔 CD1 is always my worst day. I swear as soon as you get the pot out that happens!!!! I’ve done that SO many times. I honestly feel exactly that, I can’t imagine not having AF. Like I hope every month but a part of me just knows it probably won’t be a BFP! Treat yourself to something nice, and try keep yourself busy, a new month will be just round the corner to try again ✨🥰 we’ve got each other now haha and we’ll get through it!

I’m CD27 of a usual 32 day cycle, I feel like I do most months so can’t imagine it being any different!

Yes definitely! I love that this thread is a bit smaller and moves a bit slower, it’s nice to actually get to have conversations 😊 x

I would definitely use ovulation tests. I followed an app at first but turns out I was ovulating days later than the app said I would.

@MJM1608 I know!! I feel somewhat lied too 🤣 I was told at school if I had unprotected sex I’d get pregnant. Haha!!! I honestly thought you could get pregnant whenever through the month, completely did not realise you only have 12-24 hours 😂 absolutely insane. But when we put it like that, and each month is only 1 try, it puts it into perspective a little 🥰 it’s just taking us a few more tries than other to create that perfect little bundle. I love coming on here to read and have support of people in the same position, it really does make the process a little easier ✨Yes lovely you’re right!! Positivity always 💜 sending you lots of baby dust- we’ve got this!! Xxx

Thanks so much @MJM1608 and @Izzie94. I'm on CD17 of a usually 32 day cycle. O came weirdly early this month so I'm 3DPO I think. Trying to distract myself and not test until AF overdue this time, as it's been so heartbreaking before. Good luck to both of you too, and all the other ladies on here! X

@MJM1608 thankyou. Yes it's horrible isn't it. No chill day for me. The dsc arrived but it took my mind off it so maybe that's better! Hopefully it's your month. From another post of yours, I didn't know about ovulation really either, hadn't needed too, felt quite overwhelmed by all the info at first tbh. Even at school your told you have sex, you get pregnant, I wish it was so easy!

@Izzie94 another friend announced yesterday, an accident apparently, I'm like HOW?! 🤣
Start of the month can be positive in the way that's its a new cycle, a new try again, so I tell myself anyway. But then it's a whole month! So long again, to then get AF anyway!
@chillyfields good luck this month, fingers crossed for you.

@Izzie94 ITS NOT POSSIBLE! 😩😂 that’s how I feel every time I hear one of those stories. Yeah definitely, CD1 is always the worst for me then I’m more positive after! I’m 11DPO today, tested because I had 1 test left and thought why not. Biggest bfn 😅 so, onto cycle 11 it seems ✨ let’s hope the next month is our last xx

@Izzie94 oh I'm sorry to hear that. I know what you mean when you hear stories of accidental pregnancies - two couples we know announced pregnancies a few months ago, and found out recently that one was 'an accident' (the other 'hadn't been trying for long at all'). Like, how??? I'm 5dpo and on cycle 6. It was my birthday a few days ago and really hoping for a BFP as a birthday present to ourselves!

@chillyfields literally!! Like HOW 😅😂 I ask myself that every day. It’s so hard to compare because it happens for everyone at different times, but you can’t help feel a little bit jealous that it’s quicker for some. If only! Eee fingers crossed for you ✨🥰 that would be a lovely birthday present, and would make for a beautiful Christmas annoucment!! X

@Izzie94 you’re not out until AF arrives - stay positive hun, 11 dpo is still early!! 🥰🤞🏼Some people don’t get BFPs until 14/15 dpo! You’re so right - each month is only one try (25% chance or something) and you really need perspective like that to keep positive! 💜✨ if AF does arrive at least you are out of your misery & a new cycle can begin 🥰 totally agree it’s hard not to be a little jealous of others but our time will come & we will look back in a few years with our little babas and TTC will be a distant memory 😊 just got to get through this rollercoaster first!

@Lovebug06 how old is your DSC? great that it took your mind off! I find covid hasn’t helped TTC because you’re stuck with your thoughts more often! Makes it easier to DTD at least 😂 if only falling pregnant was that easy... will never understand how people fall pregnant from a one night stand! Is AF still here for you? Least a new cycle can begin and a fresh start 🥰 hopefully you get good news before Xmas ❤️

@chillyfields the TWW is the worst isn’t it!! How you getting on, feeling any different yet? I’ve just had my peak OPK today (first test I took this month - thank god i didnt miss it 😂!). Luckily we DTD yesterday so again today, tomorrow and maybe the next day just incase... then I will be joining you in the wait, dreading it already!! Hope you’re doing ok and it’s good news this month💜✨ xxxx