Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

Hi @Lastyearttc,

I only started them 4 days before getting my BFP so don't think they helped this cycle, but pregnancy multivitamins and Coenzyme10 (200mg twice a day).

I also got rid of plastic food containers and swapped from plastic milk cartons to glass milk bottles, as the 'it starts with an egg' book recommended that due to a chemical that can leech out of the plastic into food, which can affect the process of conception.

Hello all, how is everyone getting on?

@kalidasa welcome to the thread! Best of luck with your TTC x

@Littlemiss40andfabulous how are you feeling? Hope things are going well.

@October1979 hope all is well with you xx

I’m doing ok mild nausea and sore ish boobs. Nothing major though. I’ve gone and worried my self this morning - I took a clear blue weeks at 5+1 and it’s was still only 2-3weeks. I KNOW that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, that everyone’s hcg levels are different and there are plenty of stories on MN about people having perfect pregnancies having not got a 3+.

Doesn’t stop me worrying though. I’m a glutton for punishment! 🙈 I really need to step away from the tests, but the days are so long in these first weeks!!

Hi everyone @Honey2 I'm 11dpo today I think my pulse is climbing and my temps. I also did a test yesterday and again today. Got light positives. I know it's early just worried I will have a chemical again this month. Still not pregnant on clear blue fertility monitor. 🤞

Hi @Honey2,

I'm doing well thanks. No symptoms at 4w and 4 days but there is line progression which is exciting. At this point last time my (relatively faint) line was disappearing.

I'm waiting until we go food shopping tomorrow to buy a digital test too, although I don't really need to going by this poas!

Hope everyone is doing ok x

@October1979 I only just saw your update. That's exciting news!

I know what you mean about the worry of another chemical pregnancy- I'm trying not to get too excited/obsessed as am so aware it could still happen.

Hoping you have good line progression with this one xx

@October1979 wow! That’s brilliant news - clearly May is a special month! I am so pleased for you... keeping everything crossed for us all.

@Littlemiss40andfabulous that’s a great line at 4+4 makes me more nervous about my test though as even though I’ve had line progression it feels slow and I’m still not getting a line as dark as the control on my internet cheapie ☹️ At 5+1

@Honey2 I can appreciate why that might make you anxious but I really don't think it should as I remember reading everyone is very individual with slightly differing rising hcg levels early on (for several reasons of which I can't remember) and the fact is you are having positive lines.

I know the waiting and wondering if the positive lines are going to stay is hard though. XxX

Hi all, hello to the new people 😊

@Honey2 I definitely wouldn't be worrying about that test I'm sure your hcg levels are fine.

@October1979 🤞🏻 for you, those rises definitely look good so far and I can see the lines!!!

@Littlemiss40andfabulous that line looks amazing!

I do love seeing the positives and thinking 🖕 to all the people who say it's impossible at our age! Keep those bfp coming ladies!

@Littlemiss40andfabulous thanks, I know I’m winding myself up and there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. I’ve ordered some more cb weeks tests and I’ll do another one on Saturday (if I can make myself wait that long!) I’d just rather know sooner than later if it’s not good news again.

Thanks @Honey2 @Marvellouslymadmum @Littlemiss40andfabulous I'm trying to not be so negative. That's me caught may, april and January. Let's hope this is 3rd time lucky this year. I had an online consultation with ivf Spain to find out about Donor eggs. He told me that the minimum amh he would do ivf with own eggs is 3.5. My amh is 2.4. So suggested donor for me. He said the body uses all the good eggs first and that is why I keep having mmc/ chemicals. He said it was highly unlikely I would catch a good one. 🤞he is wrong xx

@October1979 is that right about using all the good eggs first? I’m Not sure.. I thought egg quality declines with age, not that the body saves the bad ones back and send the good one out first! I think it is luck each month if a good one or bad one pops out! I think you’ve still got a good egg in there - let’s hope this is the one.

You are totally right though, thinking negatively is not going to help any of us 😊 I need to give myself a kick up the bum, stop obsessing and fine something else to try and focus on!

I have no idea @Honey2 about the good eggs going first. He said that's why egg quality declines with age. The body is smart. But it was the first time I've heard it. We also need to think Ivf is a business and they want good stats. The clinic in Glasgow was suggesting one round with my own eggs first before donor. But for me 15%was too low odds. If I go through it I want the odds in my favour. Especially as time is not on my side.

@October1979 makes sense to go for the option with the best odds for ivf. Hope you don’t end up needing it! I’m going to try not to read too much as when I do it seems it’s a miracle that anyone in their 40’s can have a healthy baby!!

I still have no idea how Sue Radford kept popping one out each year even after she turned 40!! She managed about 3 babies between 40 and 44 I think.. we just want one!!

@October1979 I also haven’t heard the body selecting the good eggs first. I’ve heard the eggs are selected at random.
I’ve also had a chemical and mc this year and am still hopeful that it’ll be third time lucky. Fingers crossed for you!

I know @Honey2 I wonder what Sues Amh is?. I also wondered if you were more likely to carry a pregnancy to term after 40 if you already have had a successful pregnancy? As I'm trying for baby no 1. The other thing making me paranoid is comparing test progression lines. I emptied boots of Frers and Clearblues on my way home from work. But I forgot as tests dry they get a bit darker. Did one when I got home and it seems a bit lighter 😢

@October1979 OMG I am crossing everything for you!!!

Thanks @Geriatric1234 xxx

Thanks @birdbybird fingers crossed for us all. I also think eggs are randomly selected or no one over 40 would conceive at all xxx

Me too @Jem1979! How many dpo are you?

Sorry I meant @October1979

It is confusing @Lastyearttc I'm 11dpo today

@October1979 they definitely get darker once dry, so no need to panic 😊

Mmm I'm not sure I buy the 'your body uses good eggs up first' theory. The 'it starts with an egg' book is based on evidence and research (which I was impressed with) and the reason egg quality declines with age seems to be related to the few months of the eggs developmental activity prior to ovulating as a mature egg.I.e not enough ATP (energy) so errors occur leading to chromosomal abnormalities which then leads to chemical pregnancy's and miscarriage. Hence the Coenzyme10 supplements to increase energy levels during egg development.

@October1979 you never know! I always wonder if they say these things to push you toward treatment quicker though. I definitely don't think that's true about the eggs either!

Hello @October1979 going by your handle we might actually share a birthday. I'm 41 and 12 weeks pregnant. After some time trying naturally, some tests and fertility support and treatment with a few rounds of Chlomid we are (all being well) expecting this Dec.

Just wanted to send you some positivity to say keep going. My top takeaways (sorry if some of this is tmi but I wished someone had told me earlier...)

• Keep being proactive with the doctor. I felt slightly written off by my male doctor, a female doctor I saw immediately was a huge help and got things moving for us just in time
• Use lube that's 'sperm friendly' for fertility, it's not cheap but worth it in my opinion
• Yoga to help with conceiving. This might not be your thing but I believe it really helped me
• Cutting out caffeine, alcohol, nicotine etc I believe helped me

I'm really sorry for your previous loss, and I hope things work out for you fellow Scorpio 💫