Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

Sounds like a plan @October1979. You are doing all the right things. I understand the feel of panic and there really is a lot of pressure on womem trying to get pregnant when they are older. But it’s entirely possible, and likely probable for you to conceive naturally ...I suppose it’s just good to get knowing where your chances sit within all those statistics. I’m just going for it, I feel like the two MC as awful as they were showed me it is all working and hopefully it’s a matter of time.

Oh great we will be close in testing time then that will be nice! I’m due on the 4th Nov and going to try not to test till then. But no promises! I don’t think it would be helpful for me to see BFNs at the moment or find out about a CP. When are you due to test?

I’m doing good. Feeling positive at the moment, first time trying again after MC which I expected to be stressful but I’m actually excited that the possibility of being pregnant is back on the cards. I feel like that might change if I get PG, I feel like I will be quite nervous then.

We’re DTD every 2/3 this month. I’m using opks and jumped the gun way too early thinking I might be peaking....se feel like we’ve done it loads this cycle 😅. I got PG doing it every 3 days on my son, but feeling a bit more in a hurry this time so tending to go every 2 days around the time of ovulation, and might add an extra one on ovulation day.

Meanwhile my symptom spotting continues. I have continuous indigestion and feeling rosy cheeked and hot all the time. Lol maybe Im eating too fast and Have the central heating too high 😆 3 days dpo and 8 days till AF...can’t come soon enough.

Hi@Bouncytree that's great you feel so positive. I'll have my fingers crossed for you. It's so hard not to symptom spot! Or test early after you convince yourself you're experiencing symptoms. I'm due to test on the 7th Nov. So only a few days after you. That will be fun. Just back from acupuncture. My acupuncturist is very positive and thinks it just takes more time for older ladies. But your body wouldn't conceive unless it thought it could do it! Which is a nice thought. He thinks women who are in relatively good health have a window until 45. Unfortunately my GP was not so optimistic. I feel I am going to get as much info as possible and then we can make a decision. But staying positive that hopefully it will happen before a decision has to be made

@October1979 sounds like your getting some much needed positivity and support from your acupuncturist. I was really lucky when I had my MC all the staff were so supportive and kept reassuring me that MC is a normal part of pregnancy and happens frequently at any age. I told one midwife I was so surprised to have a MC as my past pregnancy was so uncomplicated.One midwife said getting pregnant is a role of the dice, And in my first PG the genetics were right so I didn’t have problems.

What your GPs comments in relation to your tests or just about age generally? I have to say there are a number of GPs where I attend and they vary a lot of their approach and opinions on things (not specifically talking about pregnancy). Might be worth getting a number of medical opInions.

Hope your doing well today. One day closer to test or AF day. I had a bit of light headedness and was delighted.🤣🤣🤣 lol it’s funny what you enjoy when you are TTC

Hi OP
I'm just here to wish you well. I'm an older mother had no 2 at 42 and no3 at 44. Conceived naturally. I took all the supplements Ubiquinol, Agnus castus, evening primrose oil until ovulation and maca. I knew my time was running out at 44, but tried anyway and got lucky. All the best.!

Hi @KellyMarieTunstall2 great to hear such a positive story and congratulations on your babies! I think @October1979 will really appreciate it.

I’d love to hear more about the supplements, I’m only taking basics at the moment. I’ve read about dhea but finding it all a bit of a steep learning curve.

Thank you for your positive story@KellyMarieTunstall2. Hearing your story gives me hope. Congratulations. Fingers crossed it happens for us too@Bouncytree. It really makes a difference hearing other women have achieved successful pregnancies over 40. My doctor said that chances were against me at my age. She said she didn't want to seem harsh and wasn't a fertility specialist but I was lucky to achieve pregnancy when I did even if it did result in miscarriage. She said she didn't want to give me false hope and even with ivf over 40s have the odds stacked against them. Still I'd have more chance with ivf than without but she would send me for tests but prepare myself for the odds if it doesn't work out. My acupuncturist and the specialist who phoned me from the fertility clinic was a lot more positive. He said that I have time and my fertility won't drop significantly within months. I think I will get mine and dh tests done if I'm not pregnant this month and prepare for starting in the new year if not successful. However feeling up beat about it all. It only takes one good egg and you'd expect egg reserve to be low at 41. It doesn't mean all the eggs are rubbish. Looking forward to symptom spotting. 1dpo now x

My hormone levels were measured normal for my age. I also asked the specialist if my hormone levels were on the low or high side of normal. Turns out they are right in the middle. He also thinks a follicle count of 10 is doable.

Hi @Bouncytree how's your 2ww going?

Hi @October1979 sorry I thought I had replied to your last posts 🤦‍♀️. That’s great news! Nice to be reassured all the levels are normal. Honestly if that’s the case, I really think you will be fine. We all have the fear if we focus on it, but plenty women get pregnant over 40. And nobody know how things will play out...not even you me gp.

I’m doing ok. I was so on for being calm and collected, been symptom spotting of course but taking it all lightly and with a bit of fun. But yesterday I had mad cramps. Started Sunday and then yesterday they were like Full on AF cramps, when I normally reach for the ibruprofen and hot water bottle. Last all day. It was totally tripping me out, like what is this? AF early? I also had strong nausea. I’ve had implantation cramps on my last PG and they were really mild and last a couple of hours. Cramps and nausea eased today. So now I’m thinking what else could it have been? Trying not to get carried away 🤭

2 days to AF/Test. 9 dpo. Not long now!

How are you getting on? Are you waiting till sat to test?

Sorry to hear of your loss.
I had a mmc when I was 40, then a healthy pregnancy and had dd1 when I was 41. I then had another miscarriage the following year (blighted ovum). It took a year of trying to conceive dd2 and she arrived mid lockdown in May of this year. I was 44.
I only took vitamins, and got plenty of exercise and ate healthily, so it can be done!
Be kind to yourself though and try not to stress. Easier said than done, I know!

Congratulations @Helbelle75 ☺️ Lovely to hear such a positive story

You've made my night @Helbelle75 congratulations on keeping calm and perseverance. It's lovely to hear your story. Please pass on any advice. I'm trying not to panic but when AF comes it creeps in for a few days. Fingers crossed for you @Bouncytree. I'm going to try and hold out till Saturday but already symptom spotting. Convincing myself I feel twinges in my lower back but sure it's in my head. Already googling symptoms at 6dpo. I'm such a lost cause 😂

Did you know or have any symptoms during your 2 week wait @Helbelle75 ?

I was bitten by mosquitoes! The only other time I've been bitten so badly was when I was pregnant with dd1, so the thought crossed my mind, but I'd just started a new job and didn't really allow myself to dwell on it. I finally did a test a week after my period was late and it was positive.
Everything crossed for you.

Lol @Helbelle75 that’s quite a story!

@October1979 how are you getting on?

Test day or AF for me tomorrow! Having cramps on and off since sat/sun. Definitely not my normal pattern only get a couple of hours of AF cramps. Bit of nausea On and off. So I’m in with a shot, but who knows it can all turn to dust pretty quickly.

Will probably test first thing, won’t be able to wait!

BFN this morning for me, Will see if AF arrives today. I’m Only 11 dpo As ovulated early, so possible too early but will know if AF comes.

@Bouncytree I'm doing fine tender boobs for me and felt some pinching and lower back pain. But I'm looking for symptoms. Can't help myself. No sign of cramps yet but only 8dpo. 11dpo is still early. Your not out until AF comes so stay positive! It can happen. I keep touching myself to check boob sensitivity. Even lifted up my blouse in the loo at work to check for nipple changes! None! Thank god no one walked in. I am a riot at this point in my cycle

@October1979 lol Imagine someone came in, they would be like why was that person looking at their own boobs? Makes no sense from the outside 🤣 I know the body obsession is unreal. Squeezing and checking all the different parts of our body to see if they have changed and a complete obsession for what’s going on in your knickers!

No sign of AF yet and no cramps...that is very unusual for me, never late. It was only a cheapie I did this morning, so I’ve gone out and bought an early response test. But I think I’ve drink too much water tonight!! Might have to wait till FMU I peeing non stop.

It’s agony waiting I’m dying to know! But feeling hopeful. Eeeep! 🤞

@Bouncytree it is funny when you think of what you do to yourself symptom spotting. You have to laugh! Some of the cheapies aren't the most sensitive. I've been checking my knickers too. But not sure what CM is meant to look like. I feel wet but when I check later just dry and white. Are you testing tomorrow?

Oooh I hope so. I have been trying to be calm about it but I do think I feel wierd. It’s just so hard to trust your body. Had too many months of phantom symptoms. I’ve had a positive on these cheapies on day of missed period before, but was 13 days dpo.

Well tmi but I’m gonna collect some wee and see how yellow it is! Then I’ll decide. Don’t want to waste a FRER in watery wee. I’ll just be left with the cheapies fir the morning then.

I havent had my hip Pain that I had last two times (An old pregnancy injury loosens up with the relaxin) but had that on 1: days DPo last time.

You are due to test at the weekend? When is AF?

@Bouncytree I'm due af on Saturday so will test Saturday morning I think or maybe Sunday. I have tested in the morning before and got a big fat negative with af arriving just hours after. So if I can resist I may wait till Sunday. Doubt I'll have the will power but!

I had my first DS this March just a week past my 43rd birthday! We'd been trying on and off for 3 years and I'd been taking all the usual supplements (ubiquinol), used ovulation sticks etc but had never pursued IVF as I have seen how hard it has been for friends. It came as a great wonderful surprise as we'd not even had one positive test in all that time. I just wanted to say it can happen and to send you positive thoughts x

Sorry for the loss of your baby @October1979

I think you asked for stories of over 40s who conceived with no issues. That is me.

I conceived my first son aged 38 after having the contraceptive injection. The injection didn’t work, and he is now six years old
I conceived my daughter after three months of hell on the pill which I stopped as it was making me bleed uncontrollably. Six weeks after I came off it I was pregnant with her and had her two weeks after my 41st birthday. She’s four now. My second son was a huge surprise as we weren’t using contraception but I had had a two week long period which doctors suspect was a failed multiple pregnancy and became a single one. He’s three in a couple of days.

All my babies were induced but all 39 weeks plus and all straightforward labours and good weights. There were several other “geriatric “ mothers around the time I was also one of them.

Sending you lots of luck and baby dust.

I think tenacity and patience are important at this age fir ttc! I have a 10 month older. After several losses and three rounds of ivf where my eggs were proven rubbish, he was conceived via donor egg. He is a wonderful happy little love!

@Angliski @shesgonebatshitagain @Goldsoundz thank you for your stories they make me feel so much more positive. Every month that af comes I have a wobble for a couple of days and struggle to sleep worrying that I've missed my chance. Your stories fill me with so much hope. Thank you for sharing. Please pass on any tips or advice