Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

Good luck! It's possible! Am 41 and 14 weeks pregnant.

Have you had any initial tests? AMH? AFC? DP's SA? My AMH was 1 but I had no trouble conceiving once my TSH was below 2.5 (it was 4 which caused me problems).

I also followed a lot of advice from 2nd Ed It Starts with the Egg.

Fingers crossed!

and so sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

Hi there - interesting about TSH, can I ask how you brought it down? Thanks!

Thanks for your story and congratulations! That's great to hear. I've had no tests of yet. When we started trying last year we decided to go for it naturally. What will be will be and we would have a happy life regardless. However the longer it takes the more I'm beginning to reconsider. I've had a friend go down the ivf route with no success and it's taken it's toll. I always felt that unless I was going to consider ivf then why test. Take my chances with nature for as long as I can. Although my mindset is starting to shift.

@Livingmagicallyagain

Good luck! It's possible! Am 41 and 14 weeks pregnant.

Have you had any initial tests? AMH? AFC? DP's SA? My AMH was 1 but I had no trouble conceiving once my TSH was below 2.5 (it was 4 which caused me problems).

I also followed a lot of advice from 2nd Ed It Starts with the Egg.

Fingers crossed!

Can I ask how long you were trying for?

I started taking levo, prescribed by my GP. It took one cycle to fall pregnant after giving the levo 10 to 12 weeks to work.

I would say get the tests, especially if you've been thinking about it anyway. Doesn't have to mean ivf. They might find you just need help with your thyroid or some metformin tablets. Or you could need something to help you ovulate. I got pregnant on letrozole tablets.

Did you get your tests at the GP, hospital referral or did you go private?

Thanks for all the advice. My cycles are regular 25/26 days. Since using the clearblue fertility monitor I have always gotten my peak day 13/14. My luteal phase seems to be 11 days. I thought that since I always got a peak I must be ovulating and my struggle is probably down to my egg quality or husbands sperm quality. I've just been hoping that since we achieved pregnancy once (even though it ended in mc) it's just about getting the right egg. However the more I read I am now questioning if we can be prescribed things to improve our chances if we get tested.

I’m so sorry you lost your baby.

Your AMH must be decent if you got pregnant naturally so keep trying, but if you can afford it, IVF should be your next port of call really, especially if your OH is the one affected as you have no way of knowing that unless you both have fertility testing. It will probably take you a few goes and a few years which is why you need to start now.

You need to have good vitamin D3 and ferritin levels - get your GP to check these and then supplement as the NHS levels are a baseline.

We have two DC born when I was 39 and 43 so it can be done x

Meant to say we were of the Que Sera camp too (didn’t meet until our late 30s), but as time goes on you become sadder and more desperate and I look back now and kick myself at the time we wasted.

Thank you for your encouragement @inchyra. I've booked in for fertility assessment in a private clinic on Monday night. I also spoke to my GP who has put in a request for my hormones to be checked at the local health centre. Unfortunately day 21 is a Sunday for this month so don't know if I'll need to wait for next month. I will phone tomorrow and find out. I feel better that I'm taking control.

Hi I got my ovarian assessment report today. I haven't had a consultation yet to explain it. I'm 41. My AMH level was 2.4 and my AFC was 10. Can anyone give me an opinion of it this is good news or bad?

Hey I’m 41 in jan. ttc my third. Had a Cp last month. Xx

Hi @October1979 it’s not great but it’s certainly not terrible. AFC varies month to month if I remember rightly. There are other bloods that help to build up a complete picture.

Can you afford IVF? Some clinics will only treat you if your numbers are right, so start the investigation process now, because those numbers only decline as we age.

You’ve also got pregnant naturally once - that’s a really great sign. Both my DC were fresh cycle IVF. I’ve never been pregnant naturally.

Hi @Idreamof2more @inchyra. We could probably afford 1 round of ivf. My worries is once I'm down that rabbit hole when will we stop if not successful. To pay for 2/3 times would be tough . Can I ask what age you were @inchyra when you did ivf. Ideally I would like to wait until January that's approaching the year mark after my Mmc to give natural conception a chance but unsure if that is being stupid as time is of the essence at 41

I’ve had 4 rounds of IVF - successful first time, at 39, then two failures (including a miscarriage), then success again at 43. I was at the Lister and I won’t lie: it was staggeringly expensive. Probably about £40k in all. Best money I’ve ever spent though.

It is a rabbit hole. I was a woman possessed. If you’re happy to have a donor egg you have a much higher chance of success and could have the treatment overseas which is much cheaper.

Don’t wait. I kick myself about that. My pregnancies were fine but it is really hard physically being the mother of two small people.

Hi @October1979 I am 41, will be 42 in Dec. We are TTC our 2nd. Conceived naturally on our first at 38, not even an OPK.

This is our 5th cycle TTC, I had a MC at 5 weeks and one at 10 in that time. I feel the same as you, it shows me it’s all still working and it’s just a matter of getting the genes right. I’m not considering IVF..But if it was my first I would probably like to get some tests for reassurance.

The advice I got from midwives and doctors after the MC us that I am healthy, and that any pregnancy is a roll of the dice.

BTW it is both sperm and egg, as well as the transaction between them that is at play in getting the right mix. It is not all on you!

I have to say I don’t know much about IVF or even what the acronyms means so not able to give that perspective.

But I really like this article by the British pregnancy association on older mothers. www.bpas.org/get-involved/campaigns/briefings/older-mothers/
There are a lot of social and cultural attitudes that contribute a lot of pressure to woman who choose to become mothers later. The article is really balanced and helps put things in perspective. If you don’t have any underlying issues, persistence And positivity should pay off. Being older does not equate to being infertile...that can happen at any age. MC can happen at any age -25% of pregnancies end this way, it is part of the process at any age. Being older means statistically it is a bit harder.

I’m on the journey too, it would be lovely to have some chats. I have to say the thing I find the hardest being older is DTD all the time 😅😅😅😂 Though this was quite an enjoyable month 😆

Thank you @Bouncytree it's really hard to know what to do. It would be lovely if I have some chats. My heart says keep trying but the panic sets in what if I leave it to late to push the ivf button. It's so nice to hear from women over 40 going through the same journey.

Yes @October1979 I understand. There’s no reason why you can t keep trying naturally and start to research into IVF. Arming yourself with information will help you decide. Also just because you are older doesn’t mean that it will take a long time either - there’s a lot of luck involved in getting pregnant at any age and it can be super quick or take some time. Maybe you don’t have to make a decision just yet, just keep trying but also get advice from some experts and then see where you are at in a few months time. I think advice from professional will give you some clear options you can decide on...and it may not be an all or nothing situation.

How are you feeling today @October1979. Things any clearer for you? I’m symptom spotting at 2 days dpo, which is ridiculous but I can’t help myself. It’s like self torture! 🙈😂

Hi @Bouncytree. No clearer but feeling more positive and proactive. I had my AMH hormone checked (egg reserve) at the fertility clinic and my AFC follicle count. So phoning my GP to explain them to me. So I at least know if I have time. I'm also booked in to get blood tests next Monday to check all hormone levels at GPS and acupuncture on Tuesday. I was doing this regularly before lockdown and when I fell pregnant last time. My aim is to try naturally and arm myself with information until January. I had my miscarriage in February. Then if not take it further. I'm using Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. So got peak today and should ovulate tomorrow. So I am not far behind you. I symptom spot all the time. Wishing you good luck this month. Are you doing the deed everyday or every second? I'm trying every second day just now. How are you feeling?