Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

Thanks @Livingmagicallyagain I just had a look at the website it looks great and addresses the problem we were both having. What did you do for first steps...did you discuss with your GP? Do you recommend buying the book to read about the supplements?

@October1979 read this itstartswiththeegg.com/preventing_miscarriage/

I definitely recommend buying the 2nd Ed of the book. It's cheap on kindle.

I had a private "first steps" assessment at a local fertility clinic, it was around 300 euro for bloods, AFC scan, AMH, husband's SA. While my AFC and AMH were very low, they were far more concerned about my TSH. The medication for which is so inexpensive. As soon as that worked I seem to fall pregnant first try! Twice...

@PyjamaLlamas great to hear your positive story too, congratulations to both of you 😊.
I was a bit concerned about the side affects of some supplements such has dhea, was this an issue for you?

@October1979 this looks useful:
merrionfertility.ie/mediterranean-style-diet-and-ivf/

Thanks so much for all the advice everyone, it’s really lovely to have support from those who have been through it

How are you doing @October1979? I unexpectedly got a blazing positive OPK on CD 12 this month and had to hop on the BD pretty quick. Pretty sure I ovulated yesterday CD 13. DTD once more last night for luck, though really was not in the mood! But officially in the TWW now...so it begins!

Hope your doing well with the SMEP

Hi @Bouncytree I'm good I got my positive opk on cd13. Managed bd yesterday, hoping hubby has the energy later today. Starting to lag. This Sperm meets egg method had us at it cd 8,10,12, 13. I'm supposed to do it 14 and 15 and then again 17. Not sure why the 17 tho? Any ideas?? But definite peak cd13. Think ovulation happening today. Fingers crossed for our 2 ww. Would be lovely if we both got good news.

I think SMEP is all about making absolute certain there is sperm there at ovulation so I imagine it’s just in case. It is quite an intensive method.

Yay ovulation is exciting! It’s nice to get some kind of ‘positive’ 😝 then the symptom spotting begins. I ovulated CD 13 too, due AF on 5th Dec. The TWW and symptom spotting begins!

Did you read any of the ‘it starts with the egg’? It is very interesting, she claims that you can improve egg quality in the 3/4 months before using supplements and diet. She’s a biologist so very well researched. I’m
Going to start taking ubiquinol and doing the Mediterranean diet...which I’m not far off anyway. I’ve already cut our alcohol but I think I’ll cut out caffeine too....though if kills me!

How are you doing @October1979? Still SMEPing?

Hi @Bouncytree managed SMEPing right up until the last shot. After rest day didn't manage the last go. But did pretty well. I think I'm 3dpo. How are you getting on?

Lol well you’ve done really well! I really hope it’s your month.

That’s a whole lot of BD! 4 dpo today...it’s starting to get close to that 6dpo when the real symptom spotting and driving myself crazy begins!

I’ve started taking ubiquinol, looking forward to it giving me more energy too 🤣

When is your test date?

Thursday 3rd Dec when's your test date @Bouncytree? I'm already symptom spotting too😂

4th or 5th for A, depending on if you can normal cycle length or due date.so will wait till then. Feels like the longest wait ever already! I made myself forgot about to make the time go quicker...but it seems to be taking even longer!

How are you feeling? Not much going on here to report symptom wise it must be a miracle I Havnt found something 😂

So sorry you lost your baby. That must be very hard and easy to feel worried about the future. I'm a bit younger but I got pregnant with my 2nd at 38. Just turned 39 and in 4 months gone. It took 3 cycles of trying. My husband was really disappointed as he wanted to have a bit more fun trying. It can be easier than you think. Good luck

No symptoms here yet @Bouncytree. Let's hope for some soon. I'm glad it happened quickly for you @TaraRhu . Wishing you a lovely pregnancy.

Hey @October1979 how are you doing? Sorry for lack of contact I’ve had a work deadline but at least it helped me not to obsess too much! Not much going on here symptom wise, prob been to busy to notice the twinges I like to think are symptoms! 11dpo 3/4 days left till AF. I think I’ll be getting that testing feeling soon! How are you getting on?

Hi @Bouncytree No symptoms here either. 10dpo and due af in 2 days. Trying not to let my imagination go wild! Haha

Hi @Bouncytree it's a no for me this month AF arrived. Fingers crossed for you. How are you getting on?

Oh boo sorry to hear that @October1979. It’s not for the want of trying. Are you doing ok? Hard when you have put in all that effort.

Doing ok here, 13dpo. Having cramps and nausea since yesterday...but that’s what I had last month. I think this is how my PMS is after the MC...at least I feel a little less crazy and I didn’t make up symptoms that were there.

Of course I’m Secretly hoping it’s implantation cramps.🤪

Hello ladies, just a bit of reassurance, I had a mmc last year after getting accidentally pregnant on my honeymoon at 39. It was horrendous as I didn’t know until a routine 10 week scan we’d booked I had to have a d&c at 12 weeks. We were devastated and shocked as I’d had severe morning sickness. Everyone had said it was a good sign. Three weeks later I got pregnant again but had an early loss at 5 weeks. I couldn’t believe I’d got pregnant so quickly. I think my body just wasn’t ready. We had a four month break as my cycles were then off after two back to back miscarriages. In that time I turned 40. We decided to try again soon after. I got pregnant 3 weeks after my 40th birthday. My baby boy was born in April. I’m now 41 and we’re hoping to ttc number two after Christmas. I’m a bit nervous after what we went through last year. Also I was irregular periods so ovulation is difficult to pinpoint. We conceived my son on day 34 of my cycle. I think the nhs advice generally is very damning of older people getting pregnant. In my experience it’s happened the only three cycles we’ve not used contraception . I may be lucky but I do know a lot of other people who’ve had babies at our age. One friend at 44 first cycle with no complications. Plenty of younger people struggle to conceive and have losses so I think fertility is an individual thing. I hope you won’t still be here after Christmas but this seems like a lovely group and would love to chat and join in the group hand hold when we’re trying if you are xx

*have irregular periods

Welcome @Catconfusion and thank you for sharing. I am hopeful, all these positive stories give me strength. That's month 9 of ttc after miscarriage. I'm so worried time is running out. I'm ok @Bouncytree. I think that it's mid week and work takes over has taken the dwelling off me. When AF arrives at a weekend it hits me hard. However the panic of if I should go foe ivf (only 14% success rate at 41) is weighing on my mind. I soo hope you are experiencing symptoms @Bouncytree. I'm worried that if I reach the year mark it's a sign it won't happen x

Hi @Bouncytree how are you getting on? Been thinking of you today x

Thanks @October1979. How are you doing?

Yes AF arrived sat. Wasn’t too surprised and had been so busy I hadn’t got my hopes up too much and it actually helped. I’m kinda fine with it not happening for a month or two to give the ubiquinol time to work and hope that I get a good egg!

@Catconfusion welcome and I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. It’s saucy a tough process isn’t it.

I agree I do think fertility is about the individual, statistics can only tell you so much. Unfortunately miscarriage is totally normal. I’ve had two and the medical staff just kept saying how common it is and very much part of getting pregnant. One nurse described getting pregnant to me as a roll of the DNA dice.

But it can be hard not to worry at the same time.

Persistence persistence!

Hi,
I have had 3 mc in 18 months. I am 40.

1. Got pregnant first time trying at 39 in 2019
2. Took 8 months to conceive again and got pregnant in December 2019
3. Took another 10 months to fall again s in

Oops. Hit wrong button.

1. Took 10 months and fell in October and recent lost of 10 weeks.

I don’t seem to have issues with falling . But keeping them I do. I’m very fragile and not sure I would want to try again. I will be 41 in May. The Dr said they can refer me for tests now and my husband. But this is early days and I’m not sure what I want anymore.

I'm so sorry to hear that @Confused38. You've had such a tough time. I understand how you must be feeling. Even though I have only been through it once. I like to think It's all about the right egg. At our age they are not all good but hopefully a good one is still there. Perhaps tests will give you clarity?