Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

How is everyone getting on? I'm still SMEPing. On cd 16 and still no peak!! I usually get my peak on cd 12/13. Anyone know what ovulating at least 3/4 days later than normal means?

Hey @October1979 it could be stress related. How are you feeling in yourself. I used to find the more I obsessed about my cycle the later I ovulated. I do have an irregular cycle through. I hope you get a park soon! Xx

*peak

Hey @October1979 has your DH been for basic investigations? If there's a sperm issue you have no time to waste, get cracking with ICSI.

Hi @Catconfusion I wouldn't say I was any more stressed than usual. However the whole ttc is always not far from my thoughts. I'm usually regular. I had a very regular cycle before my mmc and ovulated at cd16 regularly. But that was in Feb. Since then it's usually been cd 13/14. We have not had SA done yet @HavelockVetinari. But our plan is to go private and speak with a consultant in January. Although torn about going down the IVF route with such a low success rate at 41.

It’s so difficult @October1979 to know how to play it. I’d maybe have given ivf a go if I’d got to a year ttc. The statistics are poor but your individual chance may be really good. You’ve been pregnant before so maybe it would be better.

If you don’t feel stressed maybe its a one off thing. Maybe you’ll get it tomorrow. Really hope you catch this cycle! Xx

Ps would really recommend getting the SA done. It was so reassuring for us to know DH has good fertility.

Thanks for your advice @Catconfusion we will get a SA done in Jan and speak to the consultant about all our results. I'm between panicking and going for ivf or waiting trying naturally knowing there is not great odds and keeping donor eggs at the back of my mind if I get to the end of the road. I don't know I could take the disappointment if multiple ivf cycles didn't work

It’s a difficult decision to make @october1979. I guess see what the consultant says. Surely if your results are looking ok you have a bit of time to try naturally. Have you tried temping? I used ovusense when conceiving DS and found it amazing at precisely pinpointing ovulation. It’s not great for predicting when but it shows it definitely happened and which day with the temperature shift. My husband is up early for work so my sleep can be disrupted. Wearing the sensor allowed more reliable results than a thermometer. It was interesting to see on the occasional cycle I’d get a peak but not ovulate. I’m not sure I’d have got pregnant without it. It’s handy also for seeing how long your luteal phase is. If this is short it can make it trickier to get pregnant. I think there’s supplements for this if needed. Xx

Peak came this morning but I will also look into ovusense

Brilliant news @October1979 really pleased for you.

I wonder if ovulating a couple of days later day 17 instead of 14 will give the egg longer to develop? Maybe a better chance of egg quality? Any thoughts. Or do you think it's just down to age and getting older

@October1979 honestly I don’t think it matters how long the egg has to develop if it’s a healthy egg. Although my friend has fertility issues and she ovulates on day 8/9 and was told egg isn’t developed enough. My ds was conceived on day 34 due to my crazy irregular cycles and I was worried I’d lose him due to the egg hanging around for too long. My doctor told me to not worry about when the egg is released as long as it’s released. So as long as not super early it’s probably fine.

The length of time from ovulation to a period does matter though as the embryo needs time to implant. If it’s 10 days or less it can affect fertility. That’s why temping is useful as you can see precisely when ovulation happened and make sure you have 11 plus days for implantation. With ageing the luteal phase can get shorter so it’s worth checking out. Xx

Also @October1979 it’s extra vitamin c for a shorter luteal phase. Xx

@October1979 Sorry to butt in but I believe you need minimum of 12 days of a luteal phase for the egg to implant. Some pregnancies need just 10 but less than 12 can cause recurring miscarriages. Doctors can prescribe progesterone to lengthen it so worth a referral if you haven't already.

My luteal phase is consistently 11 days. Even when I fell pregnant and had mmc at 9 weeks. Stopped developing at 8 1/2 weeks. Do you think 11 days is too short?

@October1979 it’s pretty normal
For ovulation to vary every now and then. There is a complex chain of events that needs to happen and sometimes one bit is a little delayed. I ovulated late a couple of months ago and it meant my period was pushed a couple of days as well.

@October1979 this may be helpful : www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5337433/

It states no difference at 12 months vs 6 months in terms of conception, but it does have an affect on fertility from 11 days and less. I would speak to your doctor and ask for your progesterone levels checked.

@October1979 it seems only just in the short range but it might be worth discussing with the doctor. As you said, you got pregnant before so maybe not an issue for you. I don’t know much about short luteal phases. Mine is really long at 17 days and I was really worried that would have a negative impact but apparently it’s ok. Xx

Thanks everyone I will speak to my gp about this. I'm currently going through blood tests to check things anyway.

How is everyone getting on?@Bouncytree are you in you 2ww. Any symptoms

Hi @October1979 wel funny you should mention 😆 Yes Just into the TWW. OPK peak sat, so likely ovulated Sunday. Done with DTD for the month, can relax now 😅 did every 2 days for 6 days in lead up to ovulation.

TMI but Lots of CM at the moment, normally go quite dry after ovulation. So of course at 1 dpo I already thinking I could be PG 🤣🤦‍♀️🤣🤦‍♀️🤣🤦‍♀️🤣

Not due AF till 1st of Jan...that does feel like a year away!

How are you getting on?

Good effort @Bouncytree. Fingers crossed for you. I ovulated yesterday too so we are in sync. I'm due AF on the 31st. Happy symptom spotting

Good luck ladies. We dtd for the first time in ages this morning so gearing up O which I think will be in about a weeks time. I can’t tell precisely as opks give false positives for me sometimes. I can’t find my basal thermometer either so might just dtd every couple of days and see what happens. Don’t really want to pay for Ovusense just yet. My last cycle was 35 days which is short for me so I’m hoping I continue like this. Tracking got a bit stressful last time so I might just wing it and hope for the best. Xx

How is everyone doing? I hope the Christmas break has lent some welcome distraction.

@Catconfusion did you find your OPK peak?

@October1979 how is your TWW?

I’m Having some suspicious symptoms! Cramps at 5dpo and then strangest cramps at 6dpo along the sides of my tummy and under my ribs. Trying Really hard not to let me thoughts run away with me! 🙈Last 3 months I’ve had very early pms cramps and nausea so I have to err on the cautious side. 😬 but it’s so odd it’s totally getting my hopes up. Little bit of blood when I blow my nose too, which I get when PG but could be a coincidence.

Tempted to get a FRER but also scared to, never a good idea to know to early and also they are so confusing as U can’t tell if just to early.