Ttc 12 months plus

[notyetamumbuttrying]

@fieldsandsun 28/09
@Anitaatje33 is on cd6
@kerrym87 5/10
@notyetamumbuttrying 6/10
@Hayley19835 8/10
@Narwhal88 17/10
@Annny27 18/10
@Motherofkittens28 22/10
Come on October!! Let's hope it's a successful month for us all!
Others welcome to join as well if the title applies to you too

Hi @Originalusername6432762 , I am also 38 and 1 year ttc so I feel your pain and worry about age. We had our first referral appointment about 3 weeks ago and now waiting on further bloods and scans. I'll be 39 in February so hoping for some answers one way or another soon. Thankfully we were always set on only one child!

DH got his semen analysis today, so all seems okay on that side. I've been referred to the clinic but received a letter to say that due to covid there may be a longer wait.

DH is really freaked out by how long everything is taking, but I keep trying to remember that every month- we do something (other than the obvious!), it's been blood tests, it's been changing our diet, talking to doctors. While we haven't reached the destination, we are moving forward.

I just wish he had somewhere like this, to help him see he's not alone in his worries.

@Tofu35 great that his results are normal! And bless him, must be hard for the men as they don't speak openly like us. Does he have any mates he's ok to Confide in?

@notyetamumbuttrying
Midlands. Was happy about quick referral as I'd read online that in some areas you get no help at all!

@Tofu35
My partner had his sperm checked and was ok but he was so stressed about it. He bottles everything up and won't talk to anyone, including me! I have to force it out of him!

@Motherofkittens28
I made the mistake of googling about a year and a half ago about age and found the dreaded graph... I had a massive argument with my other half about it at the time and ended up on the floor sobbing my heart out because he wanted to move before we started trying properly. But I don't act like that any more... ahem 😂

@Annny27 yes, I remember you too and sorry to see you’re also still here. It’s all just a bit shit isn’t it!

Really hoping we can all migrate over to the pregnancy boards soon enough.

Xx

@Originalusername6432762 @notyetamumbuttrying not really, we have friends who were in the same situation (maybe some of the women used to be on these very 12+month boards) but he hasn't spoken to any of the guys about how he feels. What about your OHs? Do they have anyone to lean on?

Definitely hear you on the 'bottling it up' comment!

@Tofu35
Mine hasn't told anyone we are TTC. He spoke about telling his mum but he said he won't until a lot further down the line. I understand what he means, I wouldn't want anyone to go on about it in case I got some bad news. It's like keeping a massive secret though, I spend ages thinking about whether I'll tell people at a later stage.

@Originalusername6432762 that's good then. I'm London so god knows how long it'll take round here!
@Tofu35 mine hasn't spoken to anyone, prob cos he's the one with the issue. I know it can knock their manhood etc. I'd rather he spoke to someone though as he must want to talk to someone else besides me! I've told plenty ppl about ttc now as I wasn't quiet about it before getting married. I've only told a few about the recent diagnosis though as I doubt Dh wants everyone knowing.

Hey ladies sorry to hear you have had to seek further help. How did your partners react. I tentatively said maybe we should get an MOT of our reproduction so to speak and my partner was not for it at all. He is a very private person and I'm worried he wouldnt go down the route of ivf.

@Yellowbaby1 he defo needs to get on board with investigations! Not every outcome is ivf. You should speak to your GP and get bloods and a scan done at least. And then encourage him to get a semen analysis done.

Hey @yellowbaby1, I agree with @notyetamumbuttrying, not every route is IVF. The investigations just let you know everything is okay (or if there's anything that can be done to boost your chances). We're near the start of our investigations, so I've had two rounds of bloods done (ruled out PCOS for me) and when those turned out ok, DH had a semen analysis and just found out the results today.

If he's a private person, it's a tough chat to have. All he needs to say to his doctor is that he wants a chat about fertility and mention how long the two of you have been trying. Do you guys go to the same GP? Not that it matters!

Thanks for your kind comments @Tofu35 @notyetamumbuttrying fingers crossed things happen soon. And if not then these conservations may have to happen. I gently mentioned the other evening that is was a year since the coil came out and he was surprised. This year has just flown by and we have both thrown ourselves into our careers and put our own future on hold. Not anymore ladies

@Yellowbaby1
My partner wasn't too keen on speaking to the doctor so I had to just keep reminding him. I do worry about what he might think in the future, but I'm trying to just focus and stop stressing. One day at a time.

On the subject on careers, how does everyone cope with that? Have you put things on hold? Are there things you wouldn't be able to complete if you got pregnant this month??

@Originalusername6432762, nothing career wise would be a problem for me, I was working towards a promotion but all promotions got cancelled with the pandemic. However, if we got pregnant this month our baby would be due a couple of weeks before our wedding is supposed to take place. Originally I was going to stop trying for these months but now I'm pressing on and if it happens for us we will have to postpone our wedding (might do anyway if covid doesn't improve)

@notyetamumbuttrying, hope your scan went ok yesterday.

How did you go about doing your research for a clinic? I've looked at the care fertility clinic in Woking and think I've decided on them but not sure if they get different results in their different branches. I just know you have to go for scans about 3 times a week so I want somewhere easy to get to!

Hi can I join? Have been lurking for a while. My husband and I have been trying for almost a year, came off the mini pill last November. Periods came back straight away like clockwork pretty much, we're both considered healthy people and yet still not had a BFP so far. DH has had SA and all fine as expected as he has 2 kids from previous, I've had my bloods and scan and all good. Waiting on HSG as last step before seeking private care...

@Originalusername6432762 your question on career was interesting and one I think about often. We've been married 3 years and career is the only reason I wasn't keen on trying straight away. I'm pretty secure in my job right now and grateful considering everything that's going on but TTC prevents me from looking for a new job in a different company, I'd have to wait for probation period, be in the company for certain time to be eligible for benefits such as maternity etc... So yh, in some ways holds me back career wise but I guess it would never be a good time right?...what are your thoughts on this? Sometimes I think this is the stress/anxiety keeping me from getting pregnant...

Good luck to everyone TTC wishing you all BFP soon!!

@Motherofkittens28
Sorry about your promotion! ☹️

@gjgjini
To be honest I have mostly just carried on. For one reason or another I had started to think that I just wasn't meant to have kids and couldn't leave the rest of my life on hold. I've been in my job a couple of years and I'm also studying to further my career. I often wonder what I would say to work but at the end of the day having a baby is the most important thing for me. I hate feeling like I'm lying to everyone though by keeping it all secret!

@Motherofkittens28 it did thanks, everything ok apart from a small fibroid so will wait n see what the full report says next week!
A lovely lady on one of these boards gave me this link to look at for ivf clinics in London: theduff.co.uk/best-ivf-fertility-clinics-private-uk/. She went with care London so I'm sure the Woking one is good as well! Another girl on the board went with care Manchester so I'm tempted by care too!

@gjgjini hsg is what I want done too although we know our issue is Dh. I still just want it done as a full check of me as you never know! Will you not be entitled to nhs treatment or u not prepared to wait? We aren't, so we'll be going private come to dec if his second SA in Nov hasn't improved.

@notyetamumbuttrying and @Motherofkittens28 its was care that we went to for our consulation. I found them very good. It did feel like IVf was the only option they gave thought which is fine when there's a known issue but with us not having any in hindsight felt a little too quick to jump to that. They were so quick though you could literally start the next cylce. Got an appointment straight away as well x

@notyetamumbuttrying with dh having kids already we've been told we won't be entitled to nhs fertility treatment, but we both agreed early on that if it doesn't happen within the year we'll go private as it's quicker and neither of us are patient enough to wait two years. I've been reading on IUI and wondering if that's an option prior to IVF....there's so many clinics to choose from it's clearly a major business...Thank you for sharing the link!

Sorry ladies I am crap at keeping up with threads on here! I haven't managed to read everything.

I didn't really give my DH the option about going to the GP haha. I made an appointment for me, then GP asked for us both to come to the next appointment so I just told him he had to come along. He is a private person but will be very open if he needs to be so didn't bother him too much. You kind of have to let go of any dignity in this process - particularly for us women! More people have seen my nether regions than I ever imagined a year ago!

We will hopefully be using Care Tunbridge Wells as they are one of the 2 clinics we have been given as options for our NHS funding. I really like the look of Care, I've watched a few of their insta live sessions which have been helpful. Any babies born from them are called Care Bears which I think is really cute!

We are just waiting for my DHs DNA karyotyping to come back, he had to do another blood sample as they messed the first one up 🙄 next appointment is 24th November so hoping the results come back by then or our appointment will be delayed. I really want to be referred for IVF before Christmas 🤞🏼

@Whilstwewait I've already made contact with care to ask how it all worked and timings and she could fit us in within two weeks for the initial consultation and seemed really nice. I hope once we book it, we'll get that miraculous bfp that everyone speaks of! And that happened to you 😃 how's it all going? When's your scan date?

@gjgjini ah I see! I've looked at iui too and I'm unsure about it. Think we'll just go straight to ivf with ICSI if it comes to it. We got an appointment through for Dh to see a urologist this month so I'm pleased with that. We should get our fertility referral soon now too!

@Narwhal88 aww I loved Care Bears as a kid! 😍 my room was decorated with them! That's a good sign for me then. Ooh not heard of that type of test. Was that done through a urologist? Mine has his appointment in a couple of weeks time so if you can share any insight in what to expect that would be great!

Hi ladies.
Been a few days, trying to distract myself from symptom spotting, googling and peeing on strips by focusing on exciting work projects
In terms of career. For the last 6 years I've worked, studied and volunteered to get the position I'm in now which is pretty secure and will have good benefits re maternity.
Although recently I have been tempted to further my career and apply for other jobs but I've decided to stay put and focus on pregnancy.
With covid too Im not sure its the best time for me to change roles/organisations.

I'm cycle day 21 today. Feeling very normal to my disappointment. The tingly sore boobs could just be premenstrual.