TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello. So AF arrived yesterday which means I'm officially on cycle 13 of TTC. I'm a healthy 28 year old with husband whose 33. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the time we've been actively trying. We are just waiting on our dates for blood tests and SA for husband.

Needless to say I'm bloody fed up! Had 3 friends announce pregnancy news in the last week, and one friend is due in 4 weeks. TTC is definitely starting to take its toll on both of us and the realisation that something may be wrong is starting to sink in.
Who else is having similar? Please feel free to share/rant!

@notyetamumbuttrying yes we have, I thought I recognised your name. I've had bloods (normal, apparently) and a scan (showed a subserosal fibroid that could be causing my period pain, but shouldn't be impacting on me getting pregnant). I had 1 definite and 1 possible chemical pregnancy at the start of the year, so maybe they're working on the basis of checking me first? I'm dealing with a different GP now and she's very nice, so maybe I'll ask about SA for DH if I've a long wait to go back to Gynaecology.
I've got some cramping and a bit of brown when I wiped after my wee this morning, so I'm expecting AF tomorrow.

Sorry been MIA this weekend! I tend to avoid social media etc on a Saturday-good for the mind! Hope everyone is okay and hoping people get some positives soon 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@LS2020 definitely lacking stamina 🤣 in October I'm competing at my gym so I'll be even more knackered then usual! Last month I referred to myself as a bucket full of ... I couldn't do it anymore! I am debating laying off the TTC this month. We have been doing SMEP the last few months and think that's why I was so knackered 😂

@Nellle here's hoping the tww doesn't drag on for you-fingers crossed!

@notyetamumbuttrying hello and thanks for sharing your experiences. Thankfully we have a big time however I'm terrified something is wrong. What lifestyle changes has DH had to make if you don't mind he asking?

@CurbsideProphet we've just been referred to investigations straight away by my gp as we have sex regular and it's been over a year. Keep nagging as it's quick enough to get you hooked in for bloods. I'm getting mine done on the 14th now and husbands has phone consultation for SA on the 30th.

@Monday55 hello and welcome! Sorry to hear about your previous losses. Fingers crossed for a BFP for you!

@CurbsideProphet yeah must be. Seems like you can get pregnant then so could be something else going on that's stopping it continue. Shame you know AF's coming, such a shit feeling!
@Theawkwardblonde he's stopped smoking, drinking less, taking his supplements every day and eating oranges daily. He still needs to exercise. The thing that worries me is that he didn't smoke the first 6 months of us trying and I didn't get pregnant then so 🤷🏾‍♀️ not feeling too hopeful!

Thanks all. Already tested today at 11dpo with a FRER and got a BFN not even a squinter. I'd be lying if I said I'm still hopeful for a bfp just hoping AF doesn't delay the start of Cycle 14

Hi @Monday55 I had an early miscarriage last month and it’s heartbreaking so very sorry to hear of your losses. I passed the 12 month mark in July and if you’re keen to get stuff sorted with GP would recommend you go as soon as you feel it’s right as the process is quite slow. We got bloods and SA done quick but I’m looking at a couple of months to have my scan and been warned it will be next year before we get any treatment, just something to think on 😊 sorry you got a bfn at day 11 but is still a bit early so is hope 🤞🏻

@Theawkwardblonde haha that’s what I say to my OH, feel like I’m just a brood mare 😂 yeah we kinda said we didnt want a child born in July/august (my OH is an august baby and always hated being so much younger) so I’m thinking of having a bit of a break if no luck this month but now I feel trapped that we’ve been TTC so long I don’t want to give up any chances 😔

@CurbsideProphet sorry to hear that you think AF is on its way

@LS2020 I was thinking of going GP in April as that's 12months after MC. Don't they treat MC differently? After MC my doctor hinted that I got to have at least two more MC before they can do anything, as I can get pregnant, but just can't make it stick.

A full 12months of not getting pregnant at all, they have to test us whether we've had a MC or not. That was my understanding.

@Monday55 ah I thought it was 12 months of TTC without a viable pregnancy. I rang doctors after my early MC last week incase it impacted anything (for that reason of if now they consider me able to get pregnant) but my doctor said it doesn’t matter and I’m still referred for my testing as been over 12 months of trying. Doesn’t seem much help on NHS and Tommy’s website, just says if you’ve been trying for 12 months to speak to a GP so could be worth a go?

Sounds like a lot of us are at the "investigation" stage. I've had bloods since and they were largely normal, though estradiol low. Been referred to fertility clinic, which is a bit scary.

What are everyone's testing habits? Early FRER, yay or nay? Anyone really good at waiting until AF is actually late?

Thankful for this post. I haven't been trying as long but I'm struggling mentally 😞

I keep telling myself to 'forget' that we're trying for a baby but how do I do that?! This month I thought I was and then I started bleeding... I had convinced myself I was pregnant so thought it was implantation bleed at first... But no it's a full on period 😞

Hugs to everyone who is struggling and finding it hard.

@Nellle I think I'm in the tww but not too sure. Fermometer has picked up ovulation on my temps at CD17 which is fine but I've had 2 long cycles before this so waiting to get back to my regular ones. Haven't been able to pick up anything on my opks though. 21 day bloods tomorrow for the third time so hopefully they will tell me if I did ovulate or not. I'm being referred to the fertility clinic after my bloods tomorrow

@lucyrp Sounds like we're in very similar positions. Hope the 21 day bloods show you ovulated 🤞🤞

@Nellle yes it's interesting reading that everyone is similar. I'm hoping this thread will bring some good luck, or at least some support for people. I used to do an early frer but now only test when I'm a day late. I realised early testing is just like peeing on a fiver 😂

@Monday55 my GP is looking at us and we've been pregnant twice. My gp has said it's 12months without a viable pregnancy, so it may be worth giving them a polite nudge if you're keen to get things started 😊

Hi @LovesFood1987 and welcome. Hopefully you'll find some support here-we are a nice bunch 😊 I created this thread as couldn't find much in the way of support for those that have hit the year mark.

@lucyrp i've got my first bloods in 2 weeks-how long does it take for results for results to come back?

@Nellle it does! I'm now trying to get OH to go for his SA and text him everyday like have you rang the doctors yet hun and he's like nope 🙄😂

@Theawkwardblonde if you're getting them done like me through the doctors then it's normally a week by which point il hopefully have AF or a BFP but knowing my luck it will be a long cycle again. Or I do know someone else from another thread had theirs done at the hospital and had them bacj the next day, I didn't have that option though

@theawkwardblonde @LS2020 thanks! I'll give them a call when AF shows up this week. AF should start on Wednesday. With the whole lockdown happening I do feel guilty calling the GP as my situation is not life threatening.

@Nellle I always dream to wait until 14dpo but it's never happened. I only buy 2 FRERs per cycle and the rest are cheapies.

@Nellle also on testing habits... I don't have any 😂😂 my cycles are to irregular since my cp that I just can't test although when it gets over 35 days I have to test every week or so to double check that I'm not pregnant and it is a long cycle 🙄

Hi all

I like to take the weekend off from my phone too and actually had a really nice weekend!

I think I might be ovulating now but have bought any OPKs this month and I’m just going to go with it and see what happens.

Was talking to my partner last night about going to the docs and he agrees although I do think they might dismiss me because of my weight so going to try and lose a bit more (again). We said how nice it would be if we conceived this time round just in time for Christmas 🎄 not holding out much hope though 😂😂

Sorry to hear of so many of you on here that have MC I suppose it is comforting to know you aren’t alone. X

Hey! Another 12 monther here haha if I don't laugh I will cry.. again!!

Contacted the GP last week and she was lovely, got my 21 day bloods booked in and my partners SA referral, apparently the pathology department is gonna contact him to sort that. I would urge anyone who is thinking about contacting the GP to just do it, I was so worried about what they would say but she was very understanding.

CD10 for me, usually ovulated CD17 so just start in my fertile week. Good luck to everyone!

@dogmam I'm glad you got a good gp, good luck with the results! 🤞🏾

@Cha0907 id still go docs anyway. I'm probably on the overweight end but don't look it cos I'm tall and curvy. And with phone appointments only they can't weigh you anyway! Always good to lose weight but I'd still get investigations underway as they need to tie in with your cycle.

@Monday55 yeah deffo give them a nudge. Honestly I think mine liked having something different to do and was very helpful on the call. Would get it started as first test Is day 21 so want enough time to have a GP call and then still be able to get in with the nurse ☺️

@Nellle I’m a harderned only after AF tester - no idea how I do it but saved me a lot of money 😂

@Cha0907 my BMI is 30 and they were really helpful with me and barely mentioned. Glad you had a chilled out weekend!

@Theawkwardblonde I think mine took about a week to get back if that helps

Good luck to everyone this week 😊 fingers crossed for some good news!

Very heartened to hear about GP being understanding, I'm scared of going to the GP about it 😞 I'm also worried about a huge back log of people because of covid so long delays to get any fertility tests done.

Any tips for "forgetting" about trying for a baby very welcome... It's impossible to forget! Every time I turn down alcohol it's a reminder 😞 every night when I take my pregnancy supplement it's a reminder too 😞

@LovesFood1987 how come you don't drink if you don't mind me asking??

@lucyrp just in case it helps with TCC I guess... do you think it's unnecessary to not drink? Just wondering what other ladies are doing 🙂 I always drink when I'm on my period... Trying to make cheer myself up I guess!

@LovesFood1987 ah I thought that might be the case, I personally don't do any of the no caffeine or no alcohol I guess it's personal preference!

@theawkwardblonde Yes, it's nice to have a place for people in your position. I'm not one for competitive misery and I know that feelings of suffering are absolute, but it really makes a difference for me that this is a place for people trying to conceive #1. I know any conception troubles are hard, but all of us have all this love to give and no where to put it until we become mums 😔🥰 You're so right about FRER as well, so pricey and they don't actually do anything for me anyway! When they are negative i I just tell myself "well it's early, I'll just keep testing" Pointless! 🤦‍♀️ By the way, my bloods came back 3 days after the day 21 test, so very quick!

@lucyrp Oh, I know! Men and their precious sperm! Mine is dragging his heels too. I'm really going to try to get him to open up about it, because I reckon we can bond over the uniquely lonely feeling of TTC. As a woman or man, it's awful worrying your bits don't work! That sounds so frustrating re your cycle! Must be so hard to find ovulation? Wishing you ALL the luck.

@monday55 I think I'm going to try to hold on this time. When I was pregnant last, I wasn't expecting it, but BAM on AF due date, my boobs were something else and I knew. So, I might look out for symptoms before allowing myself to do anything. Although, why I'd want it to be anything like my previous pregnancy I don't know...

@Cha0907 Hello! And welcome! Sorry you've found yourself here, but you are among similar ladies 🥰 I would totally push it with the doctors - you deserve investigations. Tell them you are working to lose weight but need the investigations as well. You have the same right to become a mum as anyone else, and if anything you should be having more support from your docs through this journey. Don't let them dismiss you. 2 years ago when I got pregnant I was 4 stone heavier and a smoker. Now I can't conceive. Don't let them fob you off xxx

@dogmam Hi! Thank god for dogs, eh?! I agree, I couldn't face up to going to the doctor's for ages, but it was fine and results so quick! @lovesfood1987 Go for it! Wishing you all the luck and hope your GP is a good one.

@LS2020 Wow! I wish I had your resolve 😅😆

Happy week everyone. How amazing would it be if someone gets a BFP this month ♥️🤞

@Theawkwardblonde we will only hit the 12 month mark in October, though it's approx 15 cycles now that AF shows every 23/24 days. I think that's why SA hasn't been mentioned yet. The focus has been on possible gynae issues with me to get around the strict 12 month mark here.

This is the week I would have been due if my chemical pregnancy at new year had been successful. I got through the past 8 months thinking that at least I would be pregnant by now. It's a bitter bill to swallow, especially because AF started yesterday. Of all the days and weeks in the year to have AF it has to be now 😩