🦕 Catching up - ttc after miscarriage part 4 🦕

[Annny27]

Hi everyone,

Setting up the new thread for us - we have come a long way since January and sadly a few of us are still on the "journey". Let's hope we arent here for much longer. Wishing us all baby dust (although its been so long I am not sure dust will do it for me - maybe will have to up the particle size to "baby sand" )

Ttc ladies:
@Fizzl
@Nuggetlover27
@ELM7
@Ljm0101
@Abi0795
@Babyghirl

And our recent bfps who i know like to check in :)
@Leok83
@scrumdiddly123
@SunnySideUp2020

@Babyghirl it's so hard when you think about what you should have and don't. It's a huge loss and you're right that significant times of the year really heighten that feeling. I know every Christmas for the past few years I've thought this could be our last Christmas without a baby. Well I thought I should be 8 weeks at the start of next week but at my last scan I was measuring a bit behind at 5 and a half weeks so all being well I'm expecting to be at least 7.5 weeks 🤞

@Annny27 you name it I've probably worried about it! I definitely always jump to worse case scenario, every time. And logic normally goes out of the window. I can also totally see why depression levels are so high, it's a huge loss, totally out of our control and really makes you feel sad and miserable. And like leok said, some months hit harder than others 💐

Thanks @Leok83. I also thought that was great when I read you were scanning yourself! I think that's some we'd all do given the opportunity 😂. Next time I visit the vets I'd be tempted to ask if they'd quickly scan me if I didn't think they'd think I'd completely lost my mind.

@Nuggetlover27 sorry you're having a tough time too 💐 those memories are really sad and it's really unfair how they will stick with us. I hate that the nativity and excitement of pregnancy is just lost for us - I don't think I'll ever feel excited about a scan.

@ELM7 the lack of sensitivity from some medicinal professionals never ceases to amaze me! I've experienced it so many times and often think it's me being overly sensitive and then I hear other peoples examples and I just think no they can be outright rude sometimes. I find it so hard not to be sarcastic in response but I'm really not a confrontational person at all so tend to just let it slide but then get irrationally wound it about it after.

For those of you who are struggling with anxiety and feeling low I'd really try acupuncture. I know I harp on about it a lot but I think it really did help me. I felt like I was being proactive and I did feel more relaxed and chilled afterwards. My acupuncturist is also like a therapist because she talks to me the whole time and it's good to hear her perspective on things too. She can be very reassuring and grounding. She has a nursing background and works at a fertility clinic too so she seems to know her stuff which helped me.

@Nuggetlover27 that's meant to say naivety, not nativity! Autocorrect 🤦🏼‍♀️

@fizzl you could go to your scan and measure 8 weeks them early scans I hear r mostly wrong so you might be surprised. I'm 14 days past the miscarriage and I had ewcm yesterday so hopefully it's ovulation 🤞🙏🍀

Woke up bright and early to full on cramps and period 😳🙄 luckily I put a pad on last night as I felt it might arrive during the night

@fizzl totally, logic goes completely out of the window when its me e.g. friend in work has headache - its because of her screen. If I have a headache, i jump to " definitely some form of cancer or blood clot" - Very logical 😑😑😑😑😑

@Babyghirl fingers crossed you catch ovulation!! Younsre supposed to be more fertile after a miscarriage although I thjnk all of us on this thread will take that with a pinch of salt given our track record 🤣🤣

@ELM7 that's soooo insensitive of the nurse!!! Come on 🤨 sorry that you had to go through that!

One of my family members said to me "right are you gonna start trying now after your miscarriage as you don't wsnt to leave it too late" - I'm 28 ffs and we have been trying ever since, didnt say that though just said ahh hopefully next year as cba to have people thinking about it.

@Annny27 when people say ur more fertile after a miscarriage I laugh and say well not for me 😂😂😂😂😂😂, think when girls hear that after a loss it gets there hope up. I'm not trying but not preventing I really wana c the fertility consultant before I try again but because I took 11 months each time to fall I say I'm safe lol. Sorry the witch got you hate when she turns up 💚🍀

Thank you ladies for your kind messages 😘😘 @Annny27 @ELM7 @Leok83 @Fizzl

I can't believe she said that to you @ELM7. How insensitive! They should be putting your mind at ease not adding more worry 💐

@Fizzl I think I will look into acupuncture for when this down ends. It can't hurt and I've always been curious to try it.
I bet you can't wait until Monday. I will be thinking of you and hoping you get good news! You so deserve for it to be good.

Sorry AF is fully here @Annny27 that wasn't very helpful of your family member to say that! It's so hard when people ask them sorts of things, like they have no idea what we are going through.
More fertile after MC 😂 I was naive enough to believe that! Haha now 1 year later !

I called my dr today and they said there was "no further action" on both my bloods so my progesterone must be okay and my full bloods also. Next step is to book myself in for a swab 😫 to check for infections. Although I only had a smear last year! I sooo don't want another.
DH has his SA next week. See how that goes 🤞🏻

Hi ladies just popped on to see how you are all doing . I haven’t yet had a chance to read back every post and I’m sorry that I’ve not been much of an active poster since joining you all but I am still rooting for you all in the back ground and wishing lovely sticky bfp’s all round 🌈 . Congratulations and best wishes for a happy healthy 9 months to any that I may have missed 🥰 It’s just been such a tough past month for me 😢 I had a bit of a melt down once I reached what would have been the 37 week in pregnancy for me as I knew that’s the last point at which I would have delivered the twins that I miscarried and found it really over whelming . As it happened that was also the day that my best friend gave birth to her beautiful much longed for and awaited 1st dd after several losses who was 2 weeks overdue . I was and still am so genuinely happy and delighted for her but the great sadness that I felt for myself took me by surprise and it was really overwhelming . I then picked myself back up and dusted myself down and their official due date arrived on the 4th which was a strange day . I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel and really felt like I had already gotten through the worst a few weeks before so kept myself busy with work Until a surprise visit from Bf and her new gorgeous bundle that evening caught me off guard . I must admit I had been a bit of a shitty friend and hadn’t really been in touch except for a heart felt congratulations and she wasn’t aware of the significance of the date but how I kept it together until she left I really don’t know . It was just so so hard to chat new baby And enjoy lovely snuggles knowing that we should be sharing in this time together with my baby’s too 💔 . Of course I soon managed to pull myself together again only to be greeted with af on Tuesday on cd 24 which brought me back down with a thud 😫 I think I had convinced myself that I would be carrying a rainbow by the time we reached this point and that it would somehow lessen the pain but alas that’s not to be and here I am moving into cycle 7 and pulling my positive pants up ☺️ It’s just so bloody hard this journey eh . My cycles still seem to be all over the place and with each month it’s becomes that little bit harder to stay hopefully but I’m not ready to give up just yet . Best of luck to anyone still waiting this month I really hope this is the one that makes your dreams come true🤞🏼 💕

@nuggetlover27
I done acupuncture in September just one session around ovulation and conceived was just not meant to be thou. 2 weeks after 3rd miscarriage now so waiting on my app for the fertility consultant now, not preventing but not trying won't happen thou as times I have conceived took 11 months each time so just waiting to get tests to c what's going on.
@jadem83
Sorry your throw a tough time that was me the other day like I should have a 1 and a half year old or a 6th month old or be 12 weeks pregnant now and I have either it does get you down esp this time off the yea but I'm being positive that I will get my rainbow soon we all will 🍀💚

@Babyghirl I hope your recovering well after your most recent loss , not just physically but emotionally too 💕 your right tho we will all get our rainbow soon of that I’m sure 🌈🙏 we just have to keep that positive mindset even on the darkest days . I do also hope that your appointment comes through quickly and that your able to gain some reassurance and a positive action plan for when that next lucky sticky bfp arrives in the not so distant future X

His everyone, hope you're all doing ok. Little update from me - scan this morning showed everything looking great and now measuring just over 8 weeks so all caught up with where I thought I should be. Such a huge relief for now.

@Jadem83 sorry you're having such a tough time. It's really hard and it's ok to feel jealous and sad for what you have lost and are missing out on 💐

@Fizzl that’s amazing news! Congratulations lovely, so happy for you. Will they scan you again or is that it now til 12 weeks? What’s your EDD? X

@jadem83
R rainbows just have to be around the corner with everything all us girls have been through we so deserve r happy ending. I'm doing OK better than I thought think it is because I will be getting an app through for the fertility consultant in a few weeks so will be getting more in depth tests which is keeping me positive how have you been 💚🍀
@fizzl that's great congratulations it have flew in for you can't believe its 8 weeks already how r you feeling x

Thanks @scrumdiddly123 I have a consultant appointment on Thursday and she's going to scan me again. Seems a bit of a waste of their time , I'd rather wait a few weeks and then them scan again but it's just how it's fallen with my appointments. But will be good to see everything is still hopefully looking good!

My edd if you go by my lmp is 24th June but hopefully they will go by my scan date as that's consistent with when I ovulated and that should give me a due date of 28th June.

@Babyghirl glad you're keeping well and trying to stay focused on the positives. Yeah it has gone pretty quick so far! I'm feeling ok, sometimes more ropey than others! I've not been sick but sometimes feel like I've just stepped off a ferry or mildly hungover but it's not horrendous and I've definitely still got an appetite 😳 already put on some weight but I'm not worrying about that! I don't think lockdown is helping as I've really not been very active either!

@Fizzl really pleased all was ok at your scan and glad that your measurements have caught up. I’m sure you must be still feeling anxious and hope that the next 4 weeks to 12 weeks scan goes quickly for you.

@Fizzl that's fantastic news 😊!! You must be so relieved. Congratulations! You could always try and get a private scan again between now and the 12 week if you are still anxious after Thursday? I know it definitely helped me to feel less anxious to get a few extra scans in before 12 weeks. xx

@Annny27
Where have you been hiding these days 😂😂😂😂 hope your keeping OK girl.

@babyghirl I'm here 🎉 just a bit quiet as have been decorating this week and deep cleaning (things were a bit dusty here haha)

@fizzl over the moon for you :D those 2 week of torturous wait was worth it! Proud of you for waiting! Did your husband get to go along too?

I'll be honest even though I feel like I sound horribly jealous and bitter but I am finding it a bit hard that our pregnant ladies on the pregnant thread are having their babies now as it reminds me how far its been since we started this thread and makes me realise what I am missing out of 😭😭 another version of happy for them sad for me kind of thing. I feel a bit left on the shelf haha! (I almost deleted this as I feel like a horrible awful person for being jealous but thats life I guess :/)

@Annny27
Awk I know how you feel but girl we will get their, and when we have r rainbow babies they will be extra special cause we never give up to have them. 2021 will be the year we will get to hold r precious bundles,
My oh wants the tree up and to be honest I have no more interest in Christmas than the man in the moon lol. Still off work 7 weeks now and doc give me another 4 week sick line yesterday I need this time for myself and its doing me to world off good. Just excited for my app to come through and hopefully get answers but until them I'm still baby dancing lol hopefully 4th time lucky lol. But chin up girl we got this and we will get their and it will be amazing. 🍀💚

@Leok83 I think we will probably have a scan around 10 weeks just to check in that everything is still looking good!

@Annny27 yes my husband could come with me. Im really surprised (but pleased) that around here they are allowing partners to come to all appointments as covid levels have sky rocketed and it's pretty bad where we live right now - giving me lots to worry about (of course!). The levels around here were so low until schools and unis went back. Now we know several people who have tested positive including someone who my husband works with! I want to put my husband in the back bedroom as I'm worried he's going to bring something home 😢

No you don't sound like a horrible bitter person at all! Of course you're going to feel that way and it's ok! It is a reminder of your loss and grief and that's always going to feel painful regardless of circumstances 💐

@fizzl
Great things r going well with u and baby bean, can't wait to nxt bfp for me cause its going to be 4th time lucky my period on its way 21 days tomara from I started bleeding so it early by my stranded I will be glad to c it then I know where I will be and get bck on the ttc train again. Can't wait to my app comes through 4 weeks from I was told my referral went through so might phone Friday just to c where they r and act stupid 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

Morning ladies :) cd7 today so will start dtd in a day or so! Having some waterish cm so probs fertile week on the way soon

@Babyghirl will be good to get your first period over and done with!

@fizzl I would be the same with worried about covid tbh :( but most people will have a very mild case but it still doesn't stop worry does it :( so glad that your husband could go with you for the scan!!

@ELM7 @Nuggetlover27 @27DONFIN how are you ladies?

Really random but I had a dream I met @fizzl in real life but she was actually 17! I was gutted as I felt super old then haha!

@Annny27 haha how random! Sadly, I can assure you I'm no longer 17 and haven't been for a good 13yrs. Although I wish I was still 17😂.

How are you keeping?

No it doesn't stop the worry, I've tried to look at it logically (ha) and recognise that I could develop a random infection like a uti and get a fever and it's out of my control so trying not to worry! I think if anyone else at my husbands work tests positive he'll definitely be in the back bedroom 😂. He reckons he's probably already been exposed and developed some immunity because of the sheer number of people he deals with every day with hardly any social distancing 🤷🏼‍♀️ he could be right because the person who's tested positive only recently joined them. Still a worry tho!

My scan yesterday got cancelled as my consultant is isolating. It's been rearranged for the 1st dec which actually we think is loads better as it'll be 2 weeks since my last scan rather than 3 days.

Would be great if we all lived beside each other to be able to meet up in person 💚🍀

Hey ladies

@Fizzl so glad your scan went well 🥰 and sounds like a good thing your next one was postponed. They will be nice and spaced out and you can see bean growing.
How is your pregnancy going?

@Annny27 you don't sound bitter at all, I feel the same!! It's so hard 💐
I'm okay. Currently CD15 and cm has started. I recon ov will be early next week.
OH has his SA yesterday so hoping to also get the results early next week. How are you doing?

Would love to say I'm hoping this is my month but I'm so frustrated with it not being my month I can't bring myself to try and convince myself it might be!