🦕 Catching up - ttc after miscarriage part 4 🦕

[Annny27]

Hi everyone,

Setting up the new thread for us - we have come a long way since January and sadly a few of us are still on the "journey". Let's hope we arent here for much longer. Wishing us all baby dust (although its been so long I am not sure dust will do it for me - maybe will have to up the particle size to "baby sand" )

Ttc ladies:
@Fizzl
@Nuggetlover27
@ELM7
@Ljm0101
@Abi0795
@Babyghirl

And our recent bfps who i know like to check in :)
@Leok83
@scrumdiddly123
@SunnySideUp2020

@Annny27 keeping everything crossed for you! I don't think I particularly noticed any major obvious symptoms. Looking back I'm like ah yeah maybe that was a little clue but at the time I just put it down to other things as we'd been away and travelling a lot etc.

Yes I'm now injecting daily. I did my first one last night. It wasn't too bad. Had to psyche myself up for about 2minutes but it was actually fine. The worse bit was the needle needing a bit more force to break the skin than I expected! Think I thought it would just kind of glide in 😳 but yes that's what I've told myself hopefully it will all be worth it! My next scan is a week tomorrow 😬 I think deep down I'm dreading it and not wanting it to come round which is probably why time is going so quick!

Hey all!

@Annny27 Yepp I have a blood test tomorrow a day 1-5 one and I think I will call the dr tomorrow to see if they have the results of my progesterone one from last week. My fingers are crossed that AF doesn't arrive for you in the next few days!

@Fizzl I'm doing okay today. Was upset as usual on the day AF arrived but feeling better now. Hoping I get some answers from my blood tests and in the meantime I will keep taking folic acid with vitamin d like the dr said and start TTC again in a couple of weeks ! Thinking of you and having to inject yourself. Your much braver than me but hopefully it'll be worth it!!

12dpo today and I was ALMOST starting to think I could be pregnant this month.... my boobs were big and sore, I was feeling run down, was hot, had nausea. But no, just started spotting a bit and now by boobs have deflated a bit.

Honestly it sucks! Sucks sucks sucks :(

@babyghirl are you going to wait untill your next period arrives before trying again or will you try this cycle?

@Nuggetlover27 fingers crossed the 1-5 bloods go well to :) did the doctor get back to you on your progesterone? 🤞

@fizzl ahhh yeah I would feel so weird injecting myself haha! Is your husband allowed to go to the scan with you?? 🤞🤞

@Annny27 why does early pregnancy symptoms have to be the same as pms it’s so cruel. Hope you’re ok. Xx

Yes its so cruel @27DONFIN

I wish I could "relax" and not care but I care too much I cant "forget" about ttc its just too consuming!

@Annny27
Bleeding had stopped thank god I'm just going with the flow as the 3 times I have fallen pregnant it has took 11 months for it to happen so doubt it very much if it will be any quicker this time around. Just waiting on my app to the fertility consultant now to c what they say and get all the tests done. How have you been holding up 💚🍀

@Annny27 I feel exactly the same. The week before I’m due I sear I’m constantly feeling myself up to see if my boobs are different any time I go to the toilet checking my boobs in the mirror to see if they’re different. It’s all because of when I fell pregnant before that’s what I noticed days before taking a test. I check myself constant not todo it but I can’t stop 🙈

@27DONFIN exactly this!! My nipples "looked different" when I was pregnant so I am pulling my shirt up everytime I go past a mirror to check. Its actually crazy haha! Always groping my boobs to see if they are more or less sore 🙈🙈

@babyghirl you never know it could be less this time. My first pregnancy i was 4 months and now onto month 11 moving into month 12!!

@27DONFIN @Annny27
My boobs where different they weren't sore to I got a bfp everytime is different so never rule yourselfs out until the witch arrives second time my boobs where awful sore before I got my bfp so different both times. Im not preventing it from happening but don't think I could go through a forth loss so was hoping to see a consultant first to c if I can c why it keeps happening but then next time might be my rainbow baby so going with the flow what will be will be I suppose 💚🍀

So I took a test just to confirm really and as expected, bfn, I needed to emotionally move on to the next cycle....cycle 12 after miscarriage 😭

I WANT MY RAINBOW 🌈 😩 💗🕯🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@Babyghirl yeah if you can take a relaxed "if it happens" approach then that would be a good bet!

@Annny27
The 3 times I fell pregnant was the months I took the relax approach stopped temping and just enjoyed being with dp so I does work 🙏🤞💚🍀
@fizzl how r you holding been thinking about you.

So after months or worrying about progesterone, now I have moved on to being worried about uterus scarring and that being the reason we haven't conceived.

I am sure they said my lining was fine in the ultrasound (scarring prevents lining building up) so it shouldn't be an issue but I am sick to my stomach with anxiety about everything today.

@babyghirl yep no LH strips for me this month! Although I will be able to tell from my CM when I am likely to ovulate......

@Annny27 ah I'm sorry 😔 it's so hard and it does categorically suck. It's so unfair. I really honestly hope your rainbow will be on there way soon. It's so hard when you just want answers. I also used to worry about scarring after the surgery. I worked myself up into a huge frenzy about it absolutely convinced by choosing to have a d&c I'd caused permanent damage to my uterus. I was reassured time and time again by professionals that this was extremely rare and highly unlikely (I didn't believe them at the time though!). I know it's no guarantee but if your periods returned and your lining looked good on a scan you're probably absolutely fine and healthy in there. I know there's no way to know for sure without them taking a look in there but you don't have any of the key indicators of significant scarring which would prevent a pregnancy (in my unqualified googled medical opinion 😏)

@Babyghirl im doing ok thanks. Still just trying to put everything to the back of my mind for now - Monday is coming round so fast 😬. I've been feeling quite ropey tho, I know it doesn't really mean anything but hoping it's possibly a good sign that my hormones are doing what they should and making me feel like crap 🥴 (which to be fair I feel strangely reassured by and I'm not going to moan about it ). How have you been doing?

@fizzl
I'm doing OK, I said to my dp the other day we should have a 1and a half year old or a 6 month old or pregnant and we have none third Christmas in a row I can c far enough. I use to love Christmas now I hate it. You will be 8 weeks on Monday isn't that right

@fizzl its really reassuring that you also had these concerns. Tbh I think we sound very similar anxiety wise haha! I have lost my appetite completely today, crying, worried all over something I have made up in my mind with no proof or logic. If we haven't conceived next month I will ask for investigation either nhs or private.

I think I need to see someone about my anxiety tbh haha! I tend to catastophise things. . . . . . 🙈🙈

@babyghirl yes I sometimes see babies that are the same age that mine would be (5 months) and have a little lump in my throat moment!

Sorry ladies for being a bit of a downer today. Now to wipe the tears away ahead of a zoom work call....

I was just reading about mental health and infertility and the article said:

"Depression levels in patients with infertility have been compared with patients who have been diagnosed with cancer"

Seems insane to me that it can have that much or an impact! But is is entirely all consuming and has made my life pretty pitiful in the last year!

Girls little bit off help I just felt wet down there and checked its ewcm surely I could not be gearing up to ovulation already x

@Annny27 I'm so sorry you are having such a crappy time of it. I think some months the BFNs just hit pretty hard. I can totally understand how it causes such high depression rates..it's just such an all consuming thing. Please try not to worry about your lining though, I used to aswell as when you read google it gives some pretty horrible stories. But realistically your cycles are good, your lining is good, your periods are normal so there's no reason to worry about it. I only wish will power could have gotten you and all the ladies here your BFP as I'm seriously rooting so much for you all as I know are the rest of the group on the graduate thread. And we WILL see you get your rainbow soon!💜xx

@Fizzl glad to see you are doing well still and bad and all as it sounds it's also good you are feeling a bit ropey! I'll have everything crossed your scan goes well on Monday!xx

Thank you @leok83 💗💗 i think the emotions of my period on the way, lockdown, and the fact it was a year since my miscarriage is making me more anxious and catastrophic haha!

With logistics its probably my husbands poor morphology thats causing the issues but my brain jumps to the worse case scenarios 🙈🙈

P.s LOVE that you scan yourself in work, I have been reading and it made me smile sk much haha! Also the 3d scan of your little boy was incredible 💙

@Babyghirl oh wow yes it certainly could be!! Especially as it was a natural miscarriage. Have you dtd since the miscarriage?

Aw @Annny27 so sorry that you got a bfn and you're hanging such a tough time at the moment. We are all with you. It seems to get harder the more months that pass by without our rainbows.
I have wondered a lot lately about mental health and it affecting TTC. I have quite bad anxiety (even before TTC) and I was on an anti anxiety medication (not a big dose) when I fell last year. I came off (drs advice) and haven't gone back on them. But wondering if they helped me to de stress and actually helped me to conceive.
You're not alone. Sending lot of love your way 😘

I've had no news from the dr yet, and haven't been able to get through to them either 🙄
It'll be 1 year tomorrow since my scan. I remember being so excited and nervous. My first ever scan. And I remember a text that dh sent me when I was at work an hour before. It said "drink up. I really want to see and hear her" (we was convinced it was a she). I think about that text a lot and it makes me so so sad that all we got to "see" was that I had lost our baby. 😭

I so so badly want my rainbow 💔

Ah that's awful, I'm so sorry for your loss 😰 praying you get your rainbow baby soon. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@nuggetlover27 seems that all our longtimers are feeling the same way! :( it might be worth speaking to them as anxiety can delay and prolong cycles so it might help regulate them but obviously your doctor is best to speak to

We also think our baby was a little girl 🥰 that text from your husband is so sweet- its easy to forget how much they wanted it as well!

Thank you @annaouwehand xx

Morning Ladies.

I’m really sorry to see how much we are all struggling at the moment but am fully with you. I just really wish it wasn’t so consuming. It’s all I think of so can’t just “relax” as can’t stop my brain from thinking.

@Nuggetlover27 the text from your DP has bought a tear to my eyes this morning.

Had the joys of a smear test this week with a really insensitive nurse who after I told her that I’d had a MC a year ago and had been TTC since decided to tell me I needed to hurry up because of my age! Not sure which part of TTC for a year she didn’t understand! 🤬

Sending big hugs to you all. x

@Annny27 thanks..we couldn't believe how detailed that scan was! And ya the extra scanning is definitely a perk of the job😄
I hope you are feeling a little better today, it's so hard it being the month of your MC 💜.xx

@Nuggetlover27 that's such a sad memory of your scan, it literally is just gut wrenching when they don't see the HB and you are so full of hope. I hope you get through to the dr soon. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. xx

@Annny27
We have been since the bleeding has stopped just going with the flow 🤞🙏🍀💚 it's been 14 days from the miscarriage it's self so it could well be ovulation x