Over 40's TTC lots of baby dust to us all 6

[Chatbash72]

New thread ladies 💕

Wow amazing @Rubyroost that it didn’t stop your periods. It’s so hard to stop BF. DS loves it and it’s obviously beneficial to him. He will however take a bottle and has some formula too. Now he’s teething he seems to crave the closeness of BF even more. I’m hoping the sleeping through will lead to AF coming back. When I hear about some people going a year to 18 months without a period, it does worry me. Mine were about every two months anyway due to PCOS which was stressful so I do find the lack of AF quite triggering.

I did however fall pregnant straight away with the two pregnancies I lost and then the first month of trying with my son. Obviously I’m a bit older this time and the second might not be so easy. I’m dreading more losses but it seems more likely as an older mum.

We had a sleep regression for about four weeks where he wouldn’t sleep through. It was exhausting. Hopefully your baby will snap back soon. Getting enough sleep makes such a difference. Xx

@Catconfusion please don't take this the wrong way as I mean it only as genuine advice from my own experience, but I was in the same position in wanting my periods to come back whilst BFing so we could try again (in our case we were trying for an FET as I can't get pregnant naturally). Even reducing the feeds to just one in the morning and one at night wasn't enough and I had to stop feeding entirely to get my period back. It absolutely broke my heart as I really wasn't ready after just 7 months. My clinic told me to stop 3 months in advance of treatment and I could see why because in those first three months my luteal phase was only 4 to 5 days. Anyway, our treatment was due to start in March, and then it got cancelled due to CV19, then we finally got started again in July and had to cancel the cycle due to poor lining quality. We finally made it to transfer a couple of weeks ago and have recently found out that it's failed, despite it being a top quality embryo. The heartbreak is all the worse because of the terrible regret I have around stopping breastfeeding the twins - for no reason whatsoever as it's turned out. I guess what I'm saying is you may have to be prepared to stop BFing altogether, so please make sure you are 100% ready to do it just in case you end up with this horrible regret xxx

Hey @CritterTamer I’m so sorry to hear your embryo didn’t make it. Just so heartbreaking. Honestly I welcome any advice on this as it’s all new territory for me. I can completely appreciate how you would regret stopping the feeding. It’s a tough call. Sounds like you made the best decision you could with the knowledge you had at the time. It’s sounds like you’re grieving the end of bfing as well which I can imagine is tough.

It’s so tough when conceiving is time sensitive. I feel like I want to do the best I can for my son while optimising our chances for a second child. To be honest I’ve not enjoyed the feeding. I’m glad ds is enjoying it but it’s been really physically and emotionally demanding.

Thanks for the heads up on needing to stop feeding entirely to get your cycles back. I have a feeling I might need to do the same. we’re stepping up the weaning next week with three meals and we’ll go from there I guess.

Covid must’ve have made the stress of your treatments so much worse. Do you have a plan moving forwards? Xx

@CritterTamer I'm really sorry your FET wasn't successful. That, plus the guilt(?) you're feeling about stopping BF must be very hard to deal with at the moment. You can only go on the information you have at the time though, it sounds like you had some tough choices to make, plus covid delaying things by so long has been a complete pain. Have you got any more frozen embryos to transfer?

@Catconfusion @ecostats - thank you. Yes, we do have one more frozen embryo, but I'm really not sure I can put myself through this emotional, physical and financial hell anymore. It's hit hard this time because the clinic was so positive and optimistic about this transfer - it was a top quality hatching embryo and everything was perfect. I felt implantation and had strong pregnancy symptoms for a few days before it all went wrong. I have no reason to believe the other embryo will do any better as it's slightly poorer quality than the one we've just transferred.

Hey ladies just dropping in to catch up! Seems all the regulars are back here so lovely to see you all! @CritterTamer I’m so sad it didn’t work for you this time round especially after trying so hard with the feeding and having to stop.

@hmmm123 hi hope you’re ok I remember you form previous thread !

@BooseysMom hope you’re ok x Have been thinking of you.

There are more of you lol too many to name but I remember you all from when I convinced !

Baby Jake is now getting on for 5 months I’m 42 and will turn 43 in January 2021. Still breastfeeding, have partially stopped night feeds ( although 4 month sleep regression scuppered it a bit). I’m glad to see the breastfeeding / cycle talk! I had a csection in April and period came back by 6 weeks check. Then nothing and since I’ve had 2 cycles one in July and August next due 15 September so just seeing if it has turned regular now.

We are hoping to try for another but have agreed to wait till January. Someone else with a 5 month old was saying they were worried about scar, me too as they say wait 18months but when I spoke to obstetrician about age etc she said that timeframe would be fine. In the meantime it’s withdrawal method for us although dtd has pretty much only happened twice since bubs due to fear of it happening too soon! ( highly unlikely given it took us 12 months and three failed Ivf cycles to get here!)

Anyway hope everyone is doing ok!

@Cleozeta How did it go have you managed transfer yet?

@Realitysucks yes transfer happened, and got a BFP this morning! Not getting too excited yet, after so many losses, its hard to imagine it working, but with a nice young egg, chances are much much higher. Will have to wait and see.
Hope you and your little one are doing well? nice to see you still checking in!

@crittertamer sorry your latest transfer didn't work. Your last embyo could be the one? I've often heard of people saying their perfect embryos didn't work, yet the less perfect ones did. I think there is so much more to it than what they can see through the lens

@Cleozeta omg I so pleased for you! It’s a young egg Cleo just keep thinking that. The success rate for donor is so much higher like 55% please please let me know how you get On. I am so rooting for you! You are bloody strong girl and you got this !!

@CritterTamer I agree with what @Cleozeta said. My sister had A little boy 👦 In January 2019. He was a frozen Transfer Grade 2 egg. Her fresh Grade 1 failed! He is now a very loud 20month old! You still have 1 left don’t you?

Wow @Cleozeta that's amazing news, keeping everything crossed for you xxx

Little update from me.....I had a scan at the hospital last week (to check spine and heart due to the Insulin I'm on) and we had our Wellbeing and Gender scan last night.
Most important news is everything looks perfect and baby is strong and healthy, we also found out our baby is a girl 💗

@Cleozeta fantastic news! If you have questions let me know as I'm myself pregnant through DE but it's MY baby! Some women have doubts about DE conception etc but for me, it's to be a healthy baby at the end!

@MaryShelley1818 congratulations on baby girl 

@CritterTamer sorry transfer didn't work this time. Sending big hugs

@Cleozeta, I'm so happy for you, lovely news. Been thinking about you a lot over the last few months, I have everything crossed for you. Xx

@MaryShelley1818, fab news, very pleased it's all working out!

@CritterTamer, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. I also have one on ice and don't feel that it will work. I think its partly self-preservation in my case as it'll be our last chance when we use it.

Thanks all. I must admit, if I'd have known 4 years ago that all it would take was 1 arrempt with a younger egg (and the process stupidly quick) I could have saved myself so much stress and heartache!
@Russkispy I completely agree with you, this will be my baby and there will be no big deal made of the fact they came from a donated egg. A healthy baby is the most important thing and I learnt that the hard way.

@MaryShelley1818 congrats on your scan

*1 attempt

@cleozeta, did you go abroad for your DE & treatment or are you in the UK? My clinic has a 6 month waiting list for DE so just wondering if there are places that have less of a wait?

@ecostats we went to Manchester Fertility. We did frozen egg, so no waiting list. The whole thing was really quick. Statistically frozen is not too different from fresh, it's just a much quicker process, not just to match (there is a much wider variety in a frozen egg Bank) but also the process, as you do not need to match your cycle to the donors. You simply prepare your own body for an FET. I sent my donor preferences, they selected 2 of the best matches, we chose the one we wanted, then started meds at the beginning of my next cycle, transfer was 3 weeks later.

Wasn't too expensive either. 6,500 for one cycle or 9,950 for two (that includes everything)

@Cleozeta thanks for the explanation, I didn't realise it was that straightforward. I also thought it was a lot more expensive than that, that sounds similar to the price of a normal fresh IVF cycle.

Yeah it's not that expensive compared to normal IVF. I think frozen is cheaper than fresh. Also it helps going up north. It would probably be more in London, I've heard more like 10k for one round

@CritterTamer I really hope you have better luck if you decide to give the frozen embryo a go.

Hey @Realitysucks it sounds like we’re in a similar position timeframe wise. Good your obstetrician didn’t see a problem with falling pregnant in January. Realistically I think we’ll start trying then to maximise chances. I’ll be 43 next June so want to give it our best shot. Great AF is back for you. I’m getting so anxious for mine to come back. I’ve got a feeling I’ll need to give up bfing completely.

@Cleozeta @Russkispy and @MaryShelley1818 congratulations to you. Fantastic news. Xx

Hi ladies, I’m so glad to find an over 40s thread! May I join you? I had a miscarriage in July. Am well into my 40s but the miscarriage gives me hope that I can conceive. I don’t have any children but I’ve spent my life working with them.
13 dpo today... bfn this morning so I guess I’m done this month. I’m so irregular though.

Baby dust to you all

Hi thanks for the invite to join. I’m 12 dpo and got several bfn. Have 2 beautiful sons but want at least 1 maybe 2 more. I have had two miscarriages and my last was a termination due to a medical condition. I just want to fall pregnant before it’s too late. Hi to all 😘

Welcome @LittleTiger007 and @Jaysdream7, good luck to you both!
I’m 42, no children yet, on day 9 of down regulating for my first ivf cycle. Getting used to stabbing myself on a daily basis but glad I don’t have to explain the strange little bruises all over my belly to anyone!

I had a bfp this morning! Praying it gets Stronger and sticks. I’m somewhere near 15 dpo. Very concerned that I dont have a repeat of last time. I’m cautiously optimistic. I believe in miracles and if it’s meant to happen it will.

Congratulations, that’s fab!