Oreo 🍫 , 🍷 , puffy sex & BFPs by snaccident #dirtydozen

[SmileyT]

Have you seen our guide to getting pregnant?🤣

1. Lots of sex (every other day to catch) or SMEP or just Banging OH to death seems to work for some - For the same sex couples out there; Insemination using a cup (easily available on Amazon) Bum up after the goods are deposited... don’t leave it in the cup for ages before you put it in ✌🏾

1. Relaxing & lots of patience

1. Prenatal vitamins e.g Pregnacare, COQ10, Primrose oil, B6, B12, Calc Flour, Folic acid/Folate, Magnesium, Vit C (will have to do your research on amounts/when to take these)

1. Conceive plus/preseed - if you haven’t had enough assfruit juice and you aren’t moister than an 🦪 💦

1. Seed cycling - make sure you ground them up

1. Grapefruit juice (ass juice) for EWCM - CM should be stretchy sometimes hard to tell the difference between cum if you get loads of action.

7.OPKS/CB Digital ovulation kits 😂 A lot of us seem to like fermometer to record the OPK peaks

1. It will happen when it's meant to but not necessarily the month you want it to 😩

9.Wine, pizza, oreo choc and pouffe sex

10.Relax, dont be stressed, take bbt, dont take bbt, dont obsess, obsess, exercise, don't exercise too much, loose weight, don't loose too much weight, eat healthy, don't let it consume you and eat what you want apart from too much alcohol, caffeine, cigs obvs

11.PMS/ early pregnancy symptoms are the same and the progesterone likes to trick you.

And most of all it isn’t your fault, blame corona for all BFN

@LV1987 god haven't been to fazenda in yonks, I can eat a whole 🐄but how do you have it cooked? This could be a deal breaker for our virtual friendship 🤔🤞🏻😬

@Thedaydreambelievers OMG you are kidding?!! Can't believe that. So have you actually ovulated??! Well, I mean can't believe you've come in and swooped the 🏆from ol @Lucyrp over there at longest cycle ever, but join us at the back, we are just chilling out, eating Oreo choc, swigging wine from the bottle (me more than likely), smoking a fake B&H trying to look cool & banging OH/DHs to death just in case our ovaries decide to pop one out when we aren't looking 👀

In the mean time I'm off to get some much needed beauty sleep

No idea honestly @Minster2012 - probably not given no AF after the positive OPK. I've been using OPKs every few days and havent got another positive.

@lucyrp - sorry to take your "longest cycle" trophy, not one I wanted! How many days are you on?

@KateColx cd6 here, normally have 28day cycles but haven't tracked ovulation dates properly other than cm so think I ov about cd13-15.

Was it on here someone mentioned about over feeding cows to help them get pregnant? I have taken that along with an article I read about ttc when breastfeeding as a sign I need to stuff my face to tell my body it can cope with another baby 😂 I am pretty sturdy as it is but it's a more enjoyable thing to try compared to ass fruit juice 😂

I normally do SlimmingWorld but as I'm on holiday next week (shared caravan during fw too ffs) I may as well justify being a pig this whole cycle and see what happens.

I've also ordered some B6 as have read good things about that especially if you have a short luteal phase.

Thanks for the chicken crimpy pic @skip86 🥰

Girls im trying to work out my dates etc. As I said I didn't track with opk etc. App says to test in 3 days but af not due till 19th.

Going by 28 day cycle the af date would be right so why did it change my test date?

It changed ovulation according to symptoms and this changed test date but not af date?

Does this make sense or am I rambling lol xx

@blodyn91 I had terrible skin when I came off the pill. I’ve been off for 6 months now and still getting spots. It’s so annoying but I’ve been using the ordinary skincare stuff and got a regime and it definitley helps. I think the pill helped me disguise my spots to be honest! There’s lot of stuff out there to help x

Hi ladies! Mind if I hop on the bus? AF due 27 July and it’s my second cycle ttc 💃🏽

@Newbie0818 thank you, here's hoping!!
@LV1987 yep that's my usual hence my panic and reach for the agnus castus. So I'll take the smiley as me ov'ing tomorrow on cd10. Taking the agnus made me ov cd12 but it just shortened my LP so I stopped it this cycle. I was also taking too much, 2200mg Instead of 800mg whoops!
@Minster2012 night, sleep tight!!
@Catherinettc hey lovely so if you know your luteal phase length you'll be able to see when af is due. If you had signs of ov and you luteal phase is 14 days count on two weeks.
@Butterfly134 welcome to the madhouse! Hope you don't end ttc for 10 months and counting like me! 🤪
Night all, pooped!😴

Oh girls srriously this bus is the bomb. Had so many lols just catching up this morning.

@Minster2012 haha no the lights have to be off if he's coming at me from any rear angle! I don't send him sexy pictures of my arsehole 😂

@lucyrp oh I'm SO hoping this means something is moving along in that body of yours! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@KateColx omg that food 😍 and your weekend away sounds lusssh.

@TheDaydreamBelievers say what?? CD116?! 😱 holy moly you take the trophy and get to sit in the naughty corner with @Minster2012 and @lucyrp

@Noggiepie92 we would forgive you if you didn't want to get through 11 buses of rambling 😂 just jump on in here, we're a welcoming bunch.

@blodyn91 hahaha would you believe I am so naive to have thought when you said 'wrong tunnel' the other day you meant your mouth?! Didn't even cross my mind that tunnel was your behind 🤣 Absolutely no judgement here, all the power to you girl, but I just never think of that because I'm so anti bum for myself 🙈😂
Also, 'bought the dog a new toy'... you sure it was for the dog..? 😉

@Juno231 leftover oreos in the tunnel 😂😂😂

@SmileyT I think you asked yesterday but I forgot to reply about my Monday to Friday life: in the past I would work in our financial planning business 2 days/week, worked as a baker in a cafe 2 mornings/week, and be a home mum and general superwoman/legend the other days. Now with the reno and corona over the last month I am with the kids 3 days/week, have one day of them in care when I do reno admin (ie IKEA days and buying taps and tiles etc), then at the reno house the 3 other days. Oh and alongside all of that I am still a superwoman/legend, obvs.

Jelly of all this Oreo chocolate. I don't think that exists here. Perhaps we can post care packs @SmileyT - I'll send chicken crimpy, you send me Oreo choc!

Guys Oreo chocolate helps a little bean implant... genuinely if you say something enough on MN it becomes true and choc releases happy hormones which makes your body relax and less likely to reject the egg I reckon so it's basically science 😜

@KateColx I didn't even open your lunch pic at first because I thought it was an advert 😍😍😍 also I'm joining you in the fact none of my clothes sit right so trying to clean up my diet, nothing extreme just cutting out some of the lockdown luxuries x

@LV1987 did your cheapie show no peak? Some people's don't seem to get a proper peak every month but if it's higher than normal that's a good sign x

@TheDaydreamBelievers it's so interesting how different GPs have different views on this, a lady on another thread got prescribed a pill to bring on period and her last period was in May, so not 6 months ago 🤯

@Catherinettc so it says to test on 17th and AF due 19th? That seems reasonable ☺️You've already tested haven't you? Did you do another one today? What dates are you trying to work out? x

Welcome @Butterfly134 👋

Morning! Just in case I never get to post one of these again here's my addition just for shits n giggles...seems we've been having a few of those yesterday

If anyone wants a BFN to compare theirs to here you go, the whitest of the white trophy goes to me....so now I can get my pills & hopefully head into the next stage.

@Skip86 can anyone send bum pics?? Is there an angle that accommodates that?? And hell noooooo I'll not be searching for that!

@Vil10 I hope il catch up witj you all at some point. Can't believe all 4 of us are still here though🙈

@KateColx yeah I'm going to do an OPK a day just to see where I'm at as I have no idea in terms of actual "cycle day" as such so I'd have no idea when to start. Don't worry I've been a bit quiet on here too as I have no idea what to write anymore other than I'm fed up or boring 😂 when the weathers nice I don't find it a problem its only when it's raining I'm like na I won't bother today🙈👀x

@TheDaydreamBelievers this will probbaly turn out as an essay but I'm on CD66 currently. I was on the depo contraception injection from June 2016 until June 2019. I stopped it last year so the last dose would have worn off by August technically. My cycles before going on thay contraception were 28-30 days regularly. By Christmas my periods returned and I had a normal cycle of 28-30 days until my March cycle, I had a period at the end of March which was 5 days and then I had a positive pregnancy test which resulted in a MMC/ CP at 7 weeks. I took the first day of my bleed then as CD1 and here I am at CD66 with nothing happening. I had a very faint positive this cycle at like 18dpo or what I thought was ovulation because my CB digital OPKs picked it up on CD14 which would have been normal for my normal cycle lengths. But who knows! I'm just sat at the back with @Minster2012 waiting for something to happen as the doctors have told me to just keep taking regular pregnancy tests!

@Skip86 me too! Although not sure how cramps like pains and low OPKs are linked but we will
Roll with it 😂

@Minster2012 I shall join you sith posting pics of our BFN when I can actually be bothered to test again 😫😂😂

@blodyn91 I came off the pill in Oct and about three months ago I started getting super spotty on my face. I've gone from never having spots to loads of them at any given time now! I'm hoping it's a phase and that it will pass 😅.

Temp this morning was 36.02 - pretty sure my body is giving up and I am a corpse at night 🙄

Hey @lucyrp, I'm so sorry about your MMC. I have read in other places that the injection can be really bad for returning to normal cycles (up to a year?).

I was on Rigevidon and the reason they keep saying 6 months is apparently that is the length of time my cycle might take to go back to normal @SmileyT. It just gives me the fear because for everyone else "irregular cycles after contraception " seems to mean irregular lengths or ovulation days, not absolutely fuck all for months and no ovulation.

My GP has run bloods inc thyroid, diabetes, hormones (all fine) and is currently running more for androgens (results tomorrow if they can catch me between my work appts).

@Skip86 its actually CD118 today . I never would have thought I'd be so desperate to just have one fucking period. My mum is already talking about "if you need IVF". She has a 2 x gold star for coming off the pill and immediately being pregnant, so I think it just wasnt her expectation.

@TheDaydreamBelievers yeah that's what they say and I was expecting that to be honest but they normally say that because you don't get periods or irregular ones but mine went back to normal at Christmas and had been regular for 4 cycles and then I had whatever happened last cycle which seems to have messed my body up. Of course they don't tell you any of these bad things when they say yeah go on this contraception they don't seem to think women might want to TTC later on in life 🙄 I'm speaking to a different doctor today to see what she suggests as my normal doctor just keeps saying to wait for AF then I can have 21 day bloods but she said that like 20 days ago and just keeps saying wait now 👀

@lucyrp yeah when you do one we'll compare pics!! It might cheer us up a bit every week or 2 post one for fun we'll have our own "no lines allowed at the back" group, @TheDaydreamBelievers you can join, with your weird CDs def in, @Katao are you still in limbo?

We don't want anyone else joining though, it's a VERY exclusive group 😑

Morning beauts 😊

Do any of you ladies who are not trying for your first have any advice on nausea? It's honestly killing me already. I woke up at 4am and it took me over an hour to get back to sleep because I just feel so sickly. I got some nausea with my molar but not till much later. I started with like low level nausea on Friday and I swear to god it's getting worse by the day. It's still so early it's kind of freaking me out incase it's going to continue to get worse and worse for the next 2 months 😱

Oddly enough the only time I don't feel nauseous is when I'm eating 🙄

Sorry about the bfn @Minster2012 though like you said now you can hopefully move on and get some intervention x

@lucyrp I know!! I have a feeling I'm here for the long haul though so I'll definitely be a permanent member of the bus, and be able to have you back to regular cycles with me plenty of time before I hop off!

@Noble89 not to scare you but with my DS I was literally so ill for the first 3 months the whole first trimester I was ill. That's the whole reason I found out I was pregnant as I was sick so much and my mum actually said to me are you sure you're not pregnant I thjnk you need to do a test and I was 8 weeks at that point and had been sick the whole 8 weeks 🙈

@Minster2012 got to laugh or well cry right!😂

@Vil10 I am definitely here for the long haul so don't worry. Its also reassuring that you're the same age as me and we're here together ☺️

@lucyrp honestly I'm already thinking this is how I'm going to be. My best friend had a baby when we were 19 and she was sick every single day for the full 9 months...no joke. We'd go out for lunch, start eating, she'd get up half way through to be sick and then come back and eat the rest. She looked sooooo I'll all the way through and we joke it's the skinniest she's ever been!

I'm finding it somewhat comforting because its already completely different to my molar, but the fact it seems to be getting worse by the day is concerning as I hate being sick 😭😭😭

@Noble89 that's literally what I was like and I hated everything I normally liked like I used to have mayo with everutning and when I was pregnant I couldn't even stand the smell of it. Yes I could smell it how on earth do you smell mayo?!😂

I found my measurements the other day of what I weighed before DS honestly I could have cried. Drumroll please .... I weighed 8 stone 8 pounds?!!?! Wtf !!! I am now 3 stone heavier 😫😂

@blodyn91 I've had rubbish skin coming off the pill! It goes okay for the first half of my cycle then the second half It's like I have all these baby spots and my skin changes texture! It's weird I feel it more in the morning and I read it's something to do with hormones 😩

@noble89 oh no your poor thing but it's also a reassuring sign you are pregnant..I know once you see your midwife they can prescribe things to help sickness but I heard eating ginger biscuits stops the nausea and I found chewing gum helped stopped mine before ! But yeh pretty much u have to eat to stop it 😩

@Minster2012 I never actually like steak until I found Fazenda! Now I'm a give it to me still mooing kind of girl 😂 we are in Edinburgh in September so I'm hoping to be able to go then, but I'm just not sure when that type of restaurant will be considered "safe" to reopen 🤷‍♀️

@SmileyT I did "one last" cheapy OPK this morning, just to see if LH was on it's way down again, and it was a blazing peak! So I'll just about sneak into July with AF being due on the 28th.

@notyetamumbuttrying that's so strange, your LP should be the bit that stays static, shouldn't it?? I've had a peak on a cheapy this morning, so femometer has pushed ovulation back until tomorrow! Poor OH is going to get jumped again 😂