Oreo 🍫 , 🍷 , puffy sex & BFPs by snaccident #dirtydozen

[SmileyT]

Have you seen our guide to getting pregnant?🤣

1. Lots of sex (every other day to catch) or SMEP or just Banging OH to death seems to work for some - For the same sex couples out there; Insemination using a cup (easily available on Amazon) Bum up after the goods are deposited... don’t leave it in the cup for ages before you put it in ✌🏾

1. Relaxing & lots of patience

1. Prenatal vitamins e.g Pregnacare, COQ10, Primrose oil, B6, B12, Calc Flour, Folic acid/Folate, Magnesium, Vit C (will have to do your research on amounts/when to take these)

1. Conceive plus/preseed - if you haven’t had enough assfruit juice and you aren’t moister than an 🦪 💦

1. Seed cycling - make sure you ground them up

1. Grapefruit juice (ass juice) for EWCM - CM should be stretchy sometimes hard to tell the difference between cum if you get loads of action.

7.OPKS/CB Digital ovulation kits 😂 A lot of us seem to like fermometer to record the OPK peaks

1. It will happen when it's meant to but not necessarily the month you want it to 😩

9.Wine, pizza, oreo choc and pouffe sex

10.Relax, dont be stressed, take bbt, dont take bbt, dont obsess, obsess, exercise, don't exercise too much, loose weight, don't loose too much weight, eat healthy, don't let it consume you and eat what you want apart from too much alcohol, caffeine, cigs obvs

11.PMS/ early pregnancy symptoms are the same and the progesterone likes to trick you.

And most of all it isn’t your fault, blame corona for all BFN

@mumof23188 I love lie ins too so I'm always asking myself why I want to disrupt the small pleasures I have 😂
@blodyn91 good going! Mine never usually asks so totally my fault this cycle. I was just excited as I manage to hold my wee for four hours so I wanted to show that the test still worked lol! It was a CB one and I forgot to use FMU and got all panicked. Silly me 🙄

I was just thinking the same thing about @vil10, nice legs 😁

@blodyn91 yeah you are prob right, hormones messing around, literally day 4 today of 5 days of popping pills to bring on AF & it started a bit on day 1 & now absolutely nothing so my body is a FUCK BOY & in the midst of that DH is a dick on the day I get told to await a phone call to say my granny will have died, (not happened yet...still waiting) which will mean since lockdown I will have lost all my 3 remaining grandparents. So yeah, just meh, he was winding me up despite me saying 3 times "don't me up I'm not in the mood" & the drunker we got the more dickish he was & more angry I was. Sorry if that came across last night ladies I think @missgoldilocks cake took the brunt 😬😘.

However, he was horny this morning & I was busy telling him how much of a dick he was whilst I was hanging up washing in the utility room bending down & stretching up in short denim shorts after DS put to bed upstairs & low & behold it turns out we'd not christened that room in the house 🤣🤔bent over washing machine sex ✅

@blodyn91 Think he's maybe too enlightened to the whole process this cycle 😂 so far I've told him when the 'best days' are and he usually knows the day I'm predicted to ovulate and so far hasn't been an issue. I think it's just got to him this cycle with added work stress on top, plus it's probably taking longer than he originally anticipated as we have no one to compare with really, everyone we know that have recently had babies have all been unplanned. Only Cycle 4 but each cycle feels like forever.

Sorry to hear about your crappy time youre having just now @Minster2012. But sounds like you definitely got a happy ending, or at least a short break from the crap while you christened the utility room 😂

@notyetamumbuttrying 😂😂 its worth the no lie ins EVER tho 😆.

So cramps have started 😭. Fully expecting AF in the morning. Boo!!!

@Minster2012 yay glad you made up and what a wonderful way to do it too! 😏
@mumof23188 phew! That's good to hear 😉
Ah sorry you're feeling the onslaught of AF coming, rubbish isn't it!

@notyetamumbuttrying ahhhh they keep starting and stopping. Had cramping when I messaged last and then it went!! Irritating 😠

Hello again everyone. Just wondering how many time’s a day should you POAS for opks? I’ve just tested and got my highest reading in 2 weeks but it’s still only 34%, should I test again later or wait until tomorrow?

@LaceyMermaid I would test again, say at 7pm. When I got a high of 34% in the morning I got a peak reading that night

@Minster2012 glad its all sorted! Dont expect anything less than washing machine sex 😂 was it turned on like in the movies? 😂😂

Just booked my lashes and brows in... Not until the end of next month, but frigging eck I'm excited!!!!

@mumof23188 very! But could also be a good sign 🤞🏾
@LV1987 ooh lovely! I'm dying to get my feet seen too.
So I've eaten like a mahoosive pig today and rounding the eating off with the below 👀

@LV1987 omg thank you so much! Tested again and it’s now 85% and saying peak! I’ve never had one so strong

Great advice @LV1987!

@LaceyMermaid and @LBee2020 I think it was @blodyn91 😁

Oops sorry got confused! Meant @blodyn91!

@notyetamumbuttrying 🤞🤞 so anxious to see if AF comes tomorrow!! Wow they look yummy!! Enjoy!

@mumof23188
I've got everything crossed for you

@Busybee143 ah thank you so much ☺️

vm.tiktok.com/JN7UktP/
Made me think of everyone on this group
🤣

Morning lovelies,

Catching up after a busy day yesterday at my friends baby shower, it all went well and she loved it so I was pleased 🥰

@Minster2012 sorry to hear you were feeling a bit meh yesterday 😔 sooo annoying about AF, especially when there was signs of her appearing! 😩 hope you're feeling a little better today? Oh just seen you had make up sex on the washing machine, great news 😂

I feel like we're pretty much out for this month before we even got started 😩 can't remember who I read was saying about OH having trouble finishing? @Ltay2 maybe? Welllll I'm with ya!

Flashing smileys started on Thursday, we had sex Thursday night and again yesterday morning and both times he couldn't finish 😩 I think it must be the pressure of knowing it's the time we need to do it because he never has the problem any other time 😔 felt sad but just thought that we're in it together and making a deal of it would only make things worse. So going to rethink my tactics for next cycle 😂

CD14 and still flashing smileys so could try again today?! Planning a cute baby shower in the midst of this hasn't helped my being impatient.

Sorry for the self indulgent post just needed to vent somewhere 😂

Hope everyone has some nice Sunday plans?! X

@Mococo1 ha yes definitely! My search history is def like that!!

@mumof23188 fingers crossed for no AF🤞🏻

Still no AF here, last day of the northisterone tablets I think, I need to go back to the packet & check but I reckon so. I've had cramps but nothing since wiping some red on day 1. So fed up now.

However we went to one of DH's mates last night & my parents had DS & we did a bike ride pub crawl, only round 4 pubs near him across fields flat land on a beautiful evening was great fun 🥰

Hope everyone had a good night & it's a beautiful morning. However he doesn't have coffee which is sacrilege to me 😳😬

@KateColx Yeah it was me! I feel for them, it is obviously such a big pressure but also trying so hard not to get annoyed when I've spent allllllll month tracking up to this point 🙈 he knows this too which made him more frustrated with himself. Our last day of DTD today so hopefully all goes well seen as we've got all day and not rushed. I think my ovulation day was most likely yesterday but still going to go ahead with today just incase! OH parents coming round tonight for social distanced take away so least we can relax and enjoy the night! This FW seems to have been going on forever, and not really in a good way which definitely shouldn't be the feel of the 'fun' part of TTC 😫

@Minster2012 How can anyone not have coffee 😱 the bike ride pub crawl sounds fun though! Hopefully everyone stayed on the bikes 😂🥴

@Minster2012 wow that sounds fun ☺️ No coffee tho 😱. That is strange!! Very frustrating!!

No AF here yet but still plenty of time for it to arrive!

Omg ladies... I think I'm ovulating at cd 15!!! LOADS of ewcm this morning and my cervix is high soft and open! Anyone who knows my story will understand why I'm so excited 😂 BUT we're at the in laws and I can't do any opk's and it's such a small
flat we can't sneak off to DTD! Do you think it'll be too late if we do it tonight? Sleeping on the lounge floor 😫

@ltay2 today sounds better and more relaxed, it can go on forever definitely I think we found that before too. We all stayed on bikes don't worry, we were very sensible, I only had 2 drinks whilst out anyway & it was on public bridleways across fields we were riding...though that could have been worse ducking under branches 😂🤣

Will def be needing to address this whole no coffee situation before we pick up DS in an hour, can't cope with a toddler on no coffee 😂

To whoever asked about the washing machine sex & was it on like in the movies (or pornos)...no it wasn't, maybe next time 🤔