Oreo 🍫 , 🍷 , puffy sex & BFPs by snaccident #dirtydozen

[SmileyT]

Have you seen our guide to getting pregnant?🤣

1. Lots of sex (every other day to catch) or SMEP or just Banging OH to death seems to work for some - For the same sex couples out there; Insemination using a cup (easily available on Amazon) Bum up after the goods are deposited... don’t leave it in the cup for ages before you put it in ✌🏾

1. Relaxing & lots of patience

1. Prenatal vitamins e.g Pregnacare, COQ10, Primrose oil, B6, B12, Calc Flour, Folic acid/Folate, Magnesium, Vit C (will have to do your research on amounts/when to take these)

1. Conceive plus/preseed - if you haven’t had enough assfruit juice and you aren’t moister than an 🦪 💦

1. Seed cycling - make sure you ground them up

1. Grapefruit juice (ass juice) for EWCM - CM should be stretchy sometimes hard to tell the difference between cum if you get loads of action.

7.OPKS/CB Digital ovulation kits 😂 A lot of us seem to like fermometer to record the OPK peaks

1. It will happen when it's meant to but not necessarily the month you want it to 😩

9.Wine, pizza, oreo choc and pouffe sex

10.Relax, dont be stressed, take bbt, dont take bbt, dont obsess, obsess, exercise, don't exercise too much, loose weight, don't loose too much weight, eat healthy, don't let it consume you and eat what you want apart from too much alcohol, caffeine, cigs obvs

11.PMS/ early pregnancy symptoms are the same and the progesterone likes to trick you.

And most of all it isn’t your fault, blame corona for all BFN

P.S. before you ask, we don't know what to do!!!

Wait until the autumn but run the risk of no return date or go to a clinic......

2.5yrs and we are exhausted and just want a baby 😢

Ladies I’ve just seen this shared on my local hospital’s Facebook page!! 😍😍

Oh no @TTCmummy2021 that's such bad luck for you. What are the chances of finding another donor?

Need your thoughts...how many raw peas does someone have to eat before getting tummy ache...asking for a friend?

Birds eye pea field with footpath through it been vines now do path been reopened & can legit mean what's on the sidelines is free for foraging non nom

@Skip86 @Vil10
This whole 'bloody Ben' scenario has got me giggling! Im just glad theres no sofa wet patch for him to doge 😂 Sounds like you had very hot kitchen sex!

@Minster2012 as long as they are out of reach of dog wee 🙊🙊

@Madz123 sorry did see your post about OH not finishing. He might be more stressed out about it than you think. Anyway you can surprise seduce him over the weekend, despite being knackered with shifts? When OH comes back from nights sometimes we can sneak one in before he sleeps, or I wake him up when its time for him to get up. I would definitely maybe have some sort of chat to clear things up and reduce the pressure, or he might find it harder and harder

@Minster2012 bloody Ben ruining everything, swear he's always here😂

@blodyn91 hahaha I feel like I've said bloody Ben loads😂😂 oh god imagine, walks in "erm what's that" oh it was very good!! It's a very good height too!

@Vil10 wished bloody Ben would be coming here so my OH had some dtd urgency and bent me over...also missing a sex tape photo, so might have to joke about filming one.
Happy Friday all! Hello Fertile Weekend!!
OH just gone off on his bike so Im going to do a self bikini wax 🥴

@TTCmummy2021 sorry to hear about your donor, totally gutted for you! I dont have any pearls of wisdom just big virtual hugs to send.

Hi @Florence13 👋

@Hopeful110 have you got a pic of the test?

@LV1987 I've got a really good feeling for both you and @notyetamumbuttrying sneaking in this month with your BFPs 🤞

@Madz123 a lot of us have been there, I cried twice when DP didn't finish because I was so frustrated which obviously didn't help 🙈 but a good conversation will generally help x

@Minster2012 well even if you don't move you love your place so when it's the right time the forever house will come up. Sorry about your friend really hope it's just her body being a mind fuck and nothing more serious... also love fresh peas, no amount is too many x

@Skip86 was going to moan about feeling boiling on the tube today and then remembered you're in winter with mid 20s so I need to suck it up 😂 pics look gorge btw x

@Vil10 no bloody Ben too disruptive to get the job done for you 👊

@TTCmummy2021 I have no suggestions or wise words but sending you loads of virtual hugs, whatever you decide will be the right decision x

@DKDK123 what possessed the couple to keep going after they had the triplets 😂😂

@blodyn91 hahahaa maybe bloody Ben is a blessing in disguise! Omg do it, and see his reaction!! Maybe even just sending him a cheeky nude will help! It's my first day of FW week too but been DTD everyday for the last 2 and going to for the next 6, well hopefully🙄

@SmileyT bloody Ben is going soon, after he's been fed and watered, like a panda him, eats shoots and leaves!! Then we can get in another session🍆

Also girls, not sure whether it was in this group or another on Mumsnet but I read somewhere that saliva can kill sperm?? Last few nights I've been giving OH a good blowy but now thinking should I not??

@Vil10 Ben sounds like a standard man then 😂 and good on you getting in two sessions starting the fertile week with a bang💥

...and yes I should add saliva to my list, I told DP he had to keep his head boobs or above!! But in all honestly what I read was saying that it kills off sperm but think there would have to be loads to make a big difference, his dong is right up by your cervix when he cums so I don't think it's a big deal x

Got my implantation essentials 🥳😂

Saving the chocolate until next week for TWW treat so hidden it under the veg in the freezer where OH will never look 😏

@SmileyT I bloody hope so!! 🤞🏾although I'm drinking wine tonight 🤤
Happy Friday ladies!

Hi girls been watching all day so know whag you've all been up to! Had pains by my belly button and sore boobs today feeling like they're full so god knows what's happening. Went for a short walk with a friend but now getting w Chinese when I promised myself no more takeaways 🤣😭😭

Oh girls look at my fucking cake 🥺
I worked so hard on it and bloody look at it!! Urghhhhh it's for my partners birthday tomorrow lol still edible tho so fuck ittttt
Hope everyone is OK haha

@missgoldilocks noooo did it just slide off?! I'd be gutted, I'm so sorry x

Did an opk today (CD8) and had "high" reading of 13%. Highly unusual for me this early on so not sure what to expect. Either another CD12/13 ovulation or my body will mess with me again and give me highs for ages before I peak 🤷‍♀️. Thank god I'm temping as well!

@SmileyT I really hope so! It would really make my month 🤞🤞 come on @notyetamumbuttrying, we gotta get sneaky... I'm drinking prosecco again 🙊

@Ltay2 I ate a whole bag of those last night, and I'm on day 2 of pineapple! We got this!!!!

@missgoldilocks what happened??? Was it the heat?? It still looks yummy though. I would.

@Missgoldilocks ahh he'll still love the cake and still get wifey points but bloody frustrating xx

@lucyrp enjoy the Chinese ☺️

@Ltay2 mmm adds Oreo bites to DPs 'to find to make me happy' list 😂

@SmileyT maybe we just don't use any saliva around the down below to be on the safe side😂x

@SmileyT @LV1987 @Juno231 haha yeah he doesn't mind and it tastes soo good it's lemon sponge with lemon curd and raspberry buttercream 😍😍 I think it was a combo of heat and the cake layers themselves were small I've never made a 4 tier cake before and the cake bits broke too easy, I still put them together hoping for the best lol ah well first time for everything!
Note to self - don't act boujee making a 4 tier cake stick to good old 2 tier! 😂

@Missgoldilocks sounds amazing!! Such a shame it died! I've made choc orange brownies, white chocolate and hazelnut brownies and a gin and tonic drizzle cake tonight 🤤🤤 ready for tomorrow's garden party

@Missgoldilocks that looks delicious!!! Presentation can do one, all about the yumminess 😋

@Juno231 what app are you using? My femometer app is reading my easy@home ones at high 13% Im CD12 but dont ovulate till later. My peak reached 200% last cycle so not taking the 13% as anything

@Vil10 Im not stopping with my BJs such an easy way to gey both of us mega excited, sometimes its needed.

@missgoldilocks, I don't mean to be rude, I've had some 🍷but...what's it meant to be??? 😳🤔

@Lucyrp Friday night takeaways are exempt. Fact

@Juno231 I don't think 13% is actually high though so still a way to go

@vil10 afraid saliva can kill sperm, sorry 😳😬

@minster2012 @blodyn91 yeah I'm aware 13 isn't a proper high, it's why I put it in citation marks - but normally I'd have a completely blank opk at this stage so still surprised to see a second line at all! Looking forward to seeing what the heck will happen this cycle!

@LV1987 yes girlie! Glad I'm not the only girlie drinking on her tww 🙈 only just getting home. I blame my wine drinking friends 😂