Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage part two

[SkyBlue20]

Following on for from this thread, for all of us battling TTC after a MMC:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3910275-Starting-TTC-again-after-missed-miscarriage?pg=1

Hi all - Hope everyone’s had a nice weekend.

Thank you for all your thoughts on my progesterone / contraceptive pill conversation. God knows what they’ll say tomorrow but I have lots of questions, and certainly won’t be rushing into either method so soon after MMC. The thing I find the strangest is that I did have a period exactly 4 weeks after the MVA (although light & short), then 6 weeks of nothing but random spotting (mainly black). I think it’s the spotting that’s making them concerned, they initially said it sounded like I could be pregnant (which is what I and everyone on here thought). Let’s see what happens tomorrow anyway, I’ll report back!

I've been in a reflective mood today, thinking about everything that has happened. I was talking to a friend who recently lost her mum and she said something that really hit home, just because most of us will unfortunately loose a parent so it could be seen as "common" doesn't mean there is any less sympathy for it or it being common makes its any less sad. Pregnancy loss onnthe other hand is also seen as "common" but because it is people use that to say its not that sad, as it happens all the time. It really struck me to think of it like that. I would l never try to make a friend who lost a parent feel better by telling them lots of people go through it and it's one of those things.

I also saw a post by the charity Cradle which I thought was wonderful. They fundraise to provide gift bags to couples who have an unexpected hospital stay due to pregnancy loss. They give practical things such as slippers and a hair bobble, but also thoughtful things such as a candle and a letter acknowledging their loss and pointing them towards local and national support services. I thought that was so powerful, I don't think any of us received anything like that. I always thought my treatment was poor and put it down to covid, but it made me think maybe I should take more of a stand and contact the hospital to see how I could support them to do more to help and support women who are going through miscarriage.
www.facebook.com/cradlecharity.org/

Thanks @Poppy10121. Fingers crossed for you 🤞

Also good luck with your appointment @Starfish762 🍀

@Workingmama1 I had the same thoughts few months ago too. Equally, no one would ever say to someone who has just a parent "Well, at least you weren't an orphan" (aka "Well, at least you can get pregnant") or "Oh, you can have another mother" ("You can try for another baby"). That would be ridiculous, but somehow people think they can say it to grieving mothers. Just because our babies weren't born full term and weren't visible to others like they should have been, doesn't mean that this loss is any different to losing a family member. It is losing a family member and even worse, losing the whole future that we could have shared together. So I agree, telling someone it's very common is minimising their pain, it's wholly inappropriate. It helps, however, if women who have been through it too talk about it openly because seeing others who have survived and sharing experiences makes MC more human and less scary.

So ladies I managed a double C25K run today, I just felt I could keep going, so I ran it twice. Week 3 completed!

However! I am taking a break till mid-week, I've got a UTI (I'm prone to them with my tilted uterus) and cannot wait to call my GP tomorrow and get some antibiotics! It came on this afternoon, how frustrating! Trying not to think about it, I'm snuggled up with my dog and a hot water bottle and hope I can sleep tonight.

@Workingmama1 So true! I’m going to remember this in all aspects of life.

@PurplePansy05 Hope you get your antibiotics soon, UTI’s are grim! Well done on smashing C25K! 👏🏼

My scan confirmed nothing left behind (as suspected) & another neg preg test done by them. Scan apparently also showed I was ovulating so she said hopefully I’ll have a proper period in about 2 weeks, if not call back & they’ll look to put me on a hormone treatment for a few days to force it. Senior doctor spoke to me & said it’s still early days so I should try to let my body do it’s thing naturally, which I totally agree with.

Does anyone know if CB advanced ovulation tests work mid-morning after drinking lots of water? We’ll DTD today anyway but would like to test anyway to be sure.

But now I have anxiety about potentially potentially getting pregnant when I haven’t had a period for over 6 weeks, dating would be a nightmare! Hopefully period will come in the next 2 weeks 🤞🏼 Longest cycle ever 🤣

@Starfish762 Thanks. I'm actually off to get my antibiotics now, delighted! I've started feeling a bit rough and overall unwell because of this infection now, so it will be great to get it sorted. I didn't want to take too much ibuprofen yesterday in the unlikely even I may be pregnant this month, I only took one dose. I really highly doubt I could be pregnant, we've not dtd in the last few days and now obviously won't with this UTI either. Some peace of mind before going away, but I'm still worried and these new and unexpected quarantine restrictions also make going away so uncertain! I'm still not 100% set on actually going, we'll see.

@Starfish762 I don't think dating would be a big issue if you know the O date, you'd date as if your LMP was around 2 weeks before that like in a "standard" 28 day cycle. This should work?

@Workingmama1 that's so true. The charity thing sounds good. It's surprising the little things that make a difference when you're stuck in hospital for any reason - when my son was in PICU after his operation they gave him a lovely blanket from a charity called the Linus Project, which made it all seem less 'hospitally'.

@PurplePansy05 - wow, well done on the C25K! Sorry about the UTI, they are awful.

@Starfish762 Glad scan went ok - how interesting they could see you were ovulating!
I think CB advanced digital need to be fmu for testing for oestrogen, but once you've got the flashing smiley you test later in the day. But I don't know how well it works if you've drunk loads.
I guess if you know you're ovulating now, then if you did get pregnant you could date it from that.

I've been doing more reading and research, and apparently there are several different patterns of lh surge you can have - the 'standard' one where you have one peak that rises quickly and then goes down, a 'plateau' one where lh rises and stays risen for a few days then goes down, and a 'multiple peak' one, which I think I had this month, where you get a peak then a drop then another peak, possibly several times, before you ovulate. This may be because you failed to ovulate after the first peak, or not. Also apparently some women can ovulate 2 or even 3 times in a cycle! They know surprisingly little about all this.

I had peak opks most of yesterday until the evening when it dropped back to high, and todays are high, so I'm thinking my peaks are over, and hoping I ovulated yesterday. My temps were back up this morning (not high, but I do sometimes have a slow rise), cramps are gone, and my weight was down again after a plateau over the past 6 days. So now the dreaded TWW begins.

@Workingmama1 I forgot to say I saw the yellow cradle bags along the windowsill when I went in today (Essex), how lovely would that of been to leave with one of those 💛

Just done CB & got static smiley! Can’t believe that showed up on a scan. CD46 & ovulating again despite no AF 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ DH is at the gym atm but once he’s back & showered we’ll be DTD then again tomorrow & Wed, you never know! Will try not to get my hopes up this time, I’ll be happy to see my period to be honest & ‘start again’ with a fresh cycle. But bit of hope to get me through the next couple of weeks.

@PurplePansy05 I understand your concerns about travelling, but try to just block out all the what ifs & media hype and look forward to your little break. Other than Spain everywhere else seems to be okay. I check the UK figures daily & no sign of any rise since lockdown was eased which is incredible considering most people are acting like nothing happened! I think the fact we had it so bad must’ve been some sort of immunity up, and the fact Spain were so strict from the off perhaps they haven’t yet - but I’m speculating of course. Where are you going again?

must’ve built some sort of immunity up

@Starfish762 great news your scan showed no retained products and the static smiley! Hopefully your cycles are getting back on track.

Sorry about the UTI @purplepansy05 they truely suck, 🤞 the antibiotics kick in quickly and you start feeling better soon. When do you fly? Also well done on c25k, you must have been feeling strong, but don't push yourself too far too often unless you are already quite fit (which I seem to remember you might be).

I'm trying to refocus by eating habits this week, I seem to have put on half a stone in the past few weeks, I'm much less active since my daughter went back to nursery and doing fewer of the dog walks but havent adjusted my diet so turning into a podge. I showed my husband my fat belly yesterday and he actually asked it if I was pregnant as I was so bloated I looked about 4 months 🙈 so I need to sort that out. Starting my face to face bootcamp on Wednesday and can't wait!

Also stupidly took a pregnancy test out of interest this afternoon at 10 dpo and obviously it was negative as it wasn't even a sensitive one. Apart from looking several months pregnant I've not had any promising symptoms this months so not feeling too hopeful...

@Starfish762 So glad you've got no retained products and that they could see ovulation about to happen - how amazing! I bet that's a weight off your mind.

@Workingmama1 that's a lovely idea, I like the idea of being able to support others better than we were supported!

I agree that the way society deals with miscarriage is weird and at odds with the actual grief that you only understand if you've been through it. That's not even accounting for the fact of other people's announcements - I said to my husband the other day, at least when you lose e.g. a grandparent, no-one is ringing you up to say "I'm getting a new grandad!" I don't mean that to sound as flippant as it does - it's a very specific type of grief and it's exacerbated by everything happening around us in a way that other deaths aren't.

@Threnody you are becoming so knowledgeable on all of this! Glad it's a good conclusion, and fingers crossed for this month's TWW!

So I think I ovulated on 13th July i.e. two weeks ago today, and my period should be coming today, but hasn't shown yet. I've had a few cramps in the last few days. I'm considering testing tomorrow but I feel suddenly frightened like I don't want to know either way!? I just only want a really clear result one way or the other. I know my cycle could still just be messed up post MMC and I don't want to get my hopes up. How long should I leave it before I'd definitely get a clear result?

@Workingmama1 Hope your husband didn’t make you feel too rotten saying that! Men have a way with words eh! 🙈 I’ve been so bloated & eating terribly too. I done a bodycoach workout on youtube this morning & have eaten well all day & feel SO MUCH better after just 1 day, hopefully I’ll keep it up now 🤞🏼

@Poppy10121 When I was waiting last time I done lots of online reading & gathered that most women have their period 12-16 days after ovulation. So if you want a clear result I’d wait a couple more days. I know some on here have had results as soon as 9DPO, but I think that’s not as common. Totally up to you though. Everything crossed for you xx

@Starfish762 yay so pleased for you! I have stopped bleeding post ERPC, have my post op follow up next Thursday and have done two ops sticks over the past four days and looks like the TC ratio is slowly rising. Tmr it will be two weeks post ERPC and doc said no DTD for two weeks post ERPC! So now I’m thinking to spend the next couple of days making up for lost sexy time ;) def feeling a little frisky haha ! Xxx

How are you feeling today @Poppy10121? If you want a really clear result then I'd wait until tomorrow but a test today should show either way if you are a day late and ovulated 2 weeks ago.

@Starfish762 he didn't make me feel bad, its true 😂 but in his defense I pointed to my stomach and went look how fat it is! I did my first week four run on c25k this morning and it actually felt really good, think im finally getting in the swing of things.

AF due tomorrow (12dpo) and sensitive IC teats arriving today.... it's tempting!

@Starfish762 and @Workingmama1 thanks for the advice! I think I am 15DPO today. I feel a bit nauseous but it's probably just nerves! Last time I was pregnant (that ended in MMC) I was 100% sure that I felt pregnant but I did a test 2 days after period was due and it was negative. I felt really unhappy and confused, especially when I got negative tests for several days afterwards (and then gave up testing and thought I was broken and periods had just stopped inexplicably!) I'm trying to avoid that this time!

I wonder because I have short-ish cycles (25 days usually) that by the time my period is "late" it's still not really given that much time for implantation? I'm also aware that my cycle may still be being affected by MMC and/or all the vitamins and supplements I've been taking! So I've got some tests in the drawer but going to try and hold out another couple of days before I do one. I've told myself Thursday morning is the day, unless AF arrives first of course!

@Poppy10121 yes if you have short cycles and therefore a short luteal phase you might not get a positive until after AF.

I've kept taking OPKs in case I had a late ovulation (as I never got a proper peak) and its come back as high on femometer, still only 20% but I was getting zeros. I know you can get a LH surge before AF but also if you are pregnant, so trying not to let me mind run away with me!

@Poppy10121 I had my earliest bfp at 9dpo, though my luteal lengths were longer back then. I'm also going to be stuck wondering if af doesn't show at 10dpo whether it is due to the extra vitamins and things. I will have tested by then though as I have 0 patience. Fingers crossed for Thursday!

@Workingmama1 Fingers crossed your lh high is because you're pregnant! Are you testing in the morning? Or as soon as ics arrive?

Obviously tested as soon as they arrived 🤣 but a BFN! Not surprised as no real symptoms to suggest otherwise.

@Poppy10121 @Workingmama1 I'm so excited for you both - hope it's positive news when you do test 🤞🏼 Completely with you on the waiting a bit later to test - the wait is awful but it's good to have a definitive answer!

Hope everyone else is doing well ☺️ xx

@Workingmama1 Your latest post came up when I posted - I take back the 'waiting until later to test' 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 You're not out until AF shows, you're still in the game!

Haha @SkyBlue20 I'm rubbish at waiting! How are you doing? I hope all is good over on the pregnancy thread

Rolled over in bed this morning and my boobs hurt, so took a CB (the sensitive ones) and got this!!!!!

I'm in shock and so nervous, now I get why you don't test early. I just wanted to rule it out so I wasn't upset when AF arrived. Came up within a minute, it's dried a bit now as I did it an hour ago but a clear blue line within the time frame. Odd as my One Step 10mul strip one showed nothing at all yesterday, although it wasn't FMU. 12 dpo today and AF due today.

I'm also stressing about telling my husband, we've not talked about it since his "never again" rant when my daughter was up in the night....

OMG @Workingmama1! Congratulations!! 🥰 completely normal to be nervous - I’ve dealt with it by giving myself little milestones, it’s still difficult but getting easier day by day.
I’m sure your husband will be thrilled - it was probably the tiredness that got him last time and it takes two to tango so if he really didn’t want to, you wouldn’t be here now. So thrilled for you 💕

Congratulations @Workingmama1! So excited for you. I'm sure hubby will be happy.
What wonderful news to start the day! Completely understand the shock and nerves.

Urgh can't believe giveb I've only know for a few hours how nervous I feel. @SkyBlue20 I think your suggestion of little milestones is a good idea. Now worrying its chemical as my RHR hasn't really risen and in my previous pregnancies it sky rocketted. I feel sick and not sure if its pregnancy or nerves!

I wanted to check I hadn't had a dud test so cracked open a Frer just now which was positive too! Tiniest hint of a squinter that looks more like an evap on my femometer HPT and nothing on the one step (and they are supposed to be sensitive!). Opk showing a faint line too so guessing they do pick up HCG.