Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage part two

[SkyBlue20]

Following on for from this thread, for all of us battling TTC after a MMC:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3910275-Starting-TTC-again-after-missed-miscarriage?pg=1

Thank you @carefree1

It has been a very difficult time. A bit of background. I have one healthy DC and the conception and pregnancy were textbook. We are TTC number two. I had an Ectopic which was discovered in June and managed with expectant management so ended naturally before having a chemical which to a certain extent was a relief because it confirmed my tubes were working. I was so convinced they were blocked.

I then discovered I was pregnant at the end of August and had an early location scan because of the ectopic and a reassurance scan at 8 weeks which was fine with a heartbeat but the baby was measuring small. They said at the time this wasnt a problem though. At my 10 week scan I was told my baby stopped growing shortly after my 8 week scan. I was booked in for the surgery but I miscarried naturally in the wait time.

It is hard to stay positive as I feel like I am ticking a box of everything that can go wrong but I am trying too.

This group is so reassuring though particularly like you say as so many have fallen pregnant quickly and seem to have gone on to have health pregnancies.

Thank you for letting me join and sorry for your loss xxx

Hi @Mustkeepgoing2 sorry for what you've been through. Will you be having checks yet to find out if anything is wrong?

I don't really post here anymore but I'm glad you found our posts reassuring. I don't know if it's true what they say about being able to get pregnant quickly after MC, but seems to have been true for a lot of us. Sounds like you catch very quickly too so hopefully can get another BFP!

Hi @sakura54

Thank you and congratulations on your pregnancy.

They have taken the baby for testing before it is cremated and I think I will have various different blood tests after that and another scan in a few weeks because whilst my blood test showed negative I did have a fibroid on my left tube so they want to check on that particularly as the ectopic was on the right.

I think the general consensus though is it has been a series of 'bad luck' if you can really call it that.

I was so sure the MMC was going to be fine particularly after the ectopic and a heartbeat it took sometime to really believe life can be so cruel.

I miss being pregnant I loved it so much with my first DC but it is hard to imagine feeling relaxed next time around when so many things could and have previously gone wrong.

I remain hopeful though because you just have to dont you. It's either keep going or give up and I am not going to give up on my dreams xxx

Hi ladies. I've not been on here for a while as we haven't TTCd in anticipation for my RMC test results, which came back fine, I may have mentioned that, but can't remember. Anyway, there were plans to go to Coventry as I'm now also under their specialist care, for NK cells testing. Lockdown has delayed them a bit, but early next year was the plan. Then this happened few days ago. I'm not quite letting myself think I'm pregnant until an actual positive scan though, hoping for an early one via my RMC.

I hope everyone is keeping well, and those of you who are expecting, you must be quite far along now? I feel like I've disappeared for ages and I can also see the whole thread has been napping recently. If you're reading this, I'm sending you big virtual hugs xx

Good morning @PurplePansy05, lovely to hear from you!
Tentative congratulations on your bfp, hopefully you can get an early scan soon enough to put your mind at rest. Sending you hugs and best wishes and a happy, healthy pregnancy! What a lovely end to a bad year.
I got a positive a few days ago too, but although this is only my second pregnancy, I don’t think I’ll believe it until I hopefully get past the 12 week mark xx

Hi @Carefree1, how lovely! Thank you & congratulations to you too xxx How far along do you estimate you are now? I think I'm around 4.5 weeks now. I didn't quite expect that tbh, I am in the middle of changing jobs and moving home soon too, so this is a bit of a whirlwind. Let's see how it goes this time, as mu consultant says, every pregnancy is different, fresh egg and fresh sperm 🤞 xxx

@PurplePansy05 @Carefree1 yeyyyy! Congratulations to you both! I remember the anxiety well but everything crossed for you both.

I’m 14+5 now! 😱 Had 2 private early reassurance scans at 7 & 9w, all was well. Then had 15 hours of heavy bleeding, obv devastated & we thought the worst. Turns out it was a hematoma (a gathering of blood - quite a few ladies on the other thread had one too), luckily an emergency scan confirmed it didn’t affect the baby. Then I had my NHS 12w scan & all was well, hematoma still there but they weren’t concerned. It was only when I compared the emergency scan notes & the 12w scan ones that I got worried coz it said the hematoma had grown (should be shrinking!) Luckily mu MW is amazing so I’m going back in for another scan at 15+4, just praying it’s shrunk or gone so I can relax! The bleeding is still erratic some days nothing other days brown & clots (but brown is old, so not alarming, just annoying).

So all in all a very dramatic start & I still can’t accept I’m pregnant! Not told many people & not told DD, just too worried of something going wrong & breaking her heart. Hopefully once the hematoma goes (FX) I’ll be able to relax & enjoy!

Please keep us updated on here as to your progress, it’s so nice to read more BFP’s!

@PurplePansy05 I moved house too, 3 days ago! If you can afford it I’d really recommend paying removals to do everything, it was £400 more & they packed everything,d took everything apart/down (beds, wardrobes, trampoline etc) & reassembled in the new house - all we’ve had to do was un pack, zero stress! (Very stressful in the build up the exchanging & completing mind you!) Hope it all goes well, take it easy. I found it a really good distraction & made time go quicker which is always good in early pregnancy!

Hi @Starfish762, thank you. I am weirdly calm about this pregnancy, perhaps I'm just not expecting any good news after what I've been through so anything like that would be a bonus. As I said, I'm also in the middle of big changes and really didn't expect to be pregnant again so quickly. In some ways it brings extra worries with the new job etc., so I'm pushing the idea of pregnancy to one side. Having said that, I've decided I will no longer postpone my career for something that may or may not succeed, so I'm going ahead. I think this is linked to me thinking it probably won't succeed again and I've just had enough of waiting. But on the other hand, it is of course true that it may well succeed, if this wasn't the case, there'd be no babies born to women post-MC which obviously isn't how it works!

Your story sounds horrific, I'm so sorry. I'd be very worried with regular bleeding too, how did you cope? I really hope it disappears soon, apparently it is quite common and as you say nothing to worry about, but if you're pregnant after loss that's a whole different story! How are you feeling in general?

I'm ok so far, have very tender breasts which I haven't had in my previous pregnancies, I have weird issues with food tasting different to normal and am sensitive to smells. Also made a mistake of eating a couple of cookies and a mince pie yesterday eve and from 10pm I felt so queasy I couldn't fall asleep till midnight. I'm not actually sick, but I'm having waves of queasiness every now and then, they usually don't last too long. I need to avoid sugar, it makes it a lot worse! Xxx

@Starfish762 Ah, did you move? Congratulations! Tell me about it, we haven't exchanged yet and we sold the house in September. The chain isn't even that long. Moving corona-style, eh?

I am definitely getting a removals company, we've set the money aside for it already, regardless of what happens with the pregnancy. We're both quite busy now and have so much stuff to move! I'll declutter over Christmas. Are you unpacking now? How is the new house so far? Congratulations, that's lovely news 😄 xxx

Sorry, my post didn’t send earlier!
How spooky @PurplePansy05 I should be 4w5days today too! A summer baby would be lovely.
You’ve got so much going on, hopefully it’s a welcome distraction. You know what they say though, new house, new baby!
That’s such a good way of looking at it, fingers crossed for us both 🤞xx

Thank you @Starfish762! Keeping everything crossed and trying not to overanalyse everything.
Wow, you’ve really had a journey, sorry that it’s been quite traumatic, but I’m so pleased that everything’s ok for you! Hope you’re settling into your new house well too.
I’m not sure whether I’ll do an early scan or not, after seeing the heartbeat at 7ish weeks last time, I swore I wouldn’t do it again. But I think it will become tempting for reassurance.

@PurplePansy05 are you planning on telling anyone with Christmas coming up? I don’t think I’ll get away with ‘I’m on antibiotics’ or similar, they’ll see straight through me.

This thread disappeared off my watch list, @purplepansy congratulations!!

I remember not believing it, wouldn't let myself get excited untill after my 20 week scan when it started to feel real, now 26 weeks - wishing you a very very healthy pregnancy x

@carefree missed your post! Congratulations to you too! 💗💗

@Carefree1 I am lucky in that we're planning a very quiet Christmas, just the two of us and doorstep visits. This is because a number of family members are shielding, they're v vulnerable. We also have family abroad and that's a no no at the moment. We might have close friends over at some point, but I'll just drink from my own bottle. I'm planning to buy a bottle of wine/prosecco and replace it with a non-alcoholic drink 🤣 I'm doing the same with my current team in work, we're having a small socially-distsnced get together before Christmas, byo food & drink. I won't be telling anyone for as long as possible I've decided, even past 12 weeks if I get there. What are you planning to do? Xxx

Thank you @ew1990 & congratulations, that's lovely news 😊 xxx

@PurplePansy05 that makes it easier doesn’t it.
I always wanted to keep it quiet until the 12 week scan, but I just don’t think I’ll be able to. We’ll be having our parents over if things don’t get worse, so I don’t think I’ll have a choice. We all drink wine so I can’t separate the bottles and they’ll just top my glass up.

Thank you @ew1990 💗

@Carefree1 I see, that's more difficult then. I guess you could get away with a little white lie that you've been TTC and you're not drinking for that reason (unless you don't want them to know that either!). In many ways I wish we could be past the 12w mark before Christmas tbh! Xxx

@PurplePansy05 @Carefree1 That is amazing news! Tentative congrats to you both. Deffo keep us updated. I’ve just seen that I was one of the last to post on this thread lol.

I’m 28w tomorrow so third trimester now. Do join us on the other thread when you’re ready.

@PurplePansy05, yes it’s going to be difficult. If I don’t come up with something, then we’ll tell them. I guess what will be will be regardless if we tell our parents or not.
I agree about the 12 weeks before Christmas, would be better.
Hope you’re feeling ok. I’ve not got many symptoms apart from tired and incredibly sore boobs! Xx

Thanks @Sakura54! Blimey 28 weeks. I hope you’re well xx

Thanks @Sakura54.

@Carefree1 I've had no symptoms today at all. Maybe an odd twinge in my uterus, but I think it was more in my head. Trying not to think about it, as you say, what will be will be.

@PurplePansy05 It’s hard isn’t it. I’ve been awake most of the night because my boobs aren’t hurting now, so I’m just worrying. Not sure why I put it here, just needed to get it out xx

You're not alone @Carefree1, mine aren't hurting this morning either. They were a tad tender when my cat settled on my chest for cuddles, but I wouldn't say this is pregnancy-related. I'm waiting for RMC to come back to me re booking an early scan, if they don't sort it out for me, I'll go privately before Christmas. I'd rather know asap if this one is not going to progress again. For now, planning to keep v busy and ignore it to stay as relaxed as possible. Xx

Hopefully they get back to you soon and book you in. I might do the same depending how the rest of the week goes.
Luckily I’ve got quite a busy work week, so hopefully that keeps my mind busy xx

@PurplePansy05 congratulations on the job front. Agree you shouldn’t put your life on hold, most companies now are so supportive & will be desperate to have you back even after a year off. I went from a fast paced full time role to asking for 4 days a week one of which was from home, my boss wasn’t keen but agreed to trial it, 2.5 years later still working that way.

Congrats on the house move too, hopefully be a lot smoother for you in a small chain. We sold on 1st Aug & found our new house a week later but only moved on 2nd Dec, but it was a 5 person chain. We’re getting there with the unpacking but slowly, DD’s nursery is closed this week coz of a covid case so we’re WFH with her here which is challenging. But DH painted the living room at the weekend so it’s ‘done’ & very cosy & us, and we have a tree 🎄

Regarding symptoms, I had NONE until about 8-9 weeks when I started to feel sick when I first woke up, no tender breasts or change in size, still not now at 15+2! It’s so hard not to overthink it I know, but it can be fine with no symptoms & even bleeding like me. I’ll report back after my scan on Fri, fingers crossed.

Hi ladies! I'm having a really busy week in work, feel like my head is about to explode, so much going on. On the pregnancy front, no symptoms all day today, only just now feeling nauseous. I've had a response from the hospital and they've booked me in for a scan before Christmas which is great news, I'll know where I stand (obviously not 100%, but with a decent probability). I'm off to bed soon, it's been a long day.

How are you doing today @Carefree1?

@Starfish762 This sounds so lovely. We're hoping to move next month, but there's a huge renovation ahead so it will take some time before I'm able to chill out there. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all these things happening at once, I need to remind myself to breathe!