TTC after a chemical pregnancy / early miscarriage

[Littlebee1990]

Hi everyone, on a few really supportive threads on here but thought I’d make another for anyone who may be in a similar position to me and we can support eachother... I’m petrified of trying again after last month tbh.

Last week I thought our dreams had finally come true when I got 3 BFP (including a digital!).. a week later I was bleeding and a call to the EPU confirmed it was a chemical pregnancy / early miscarriage.. so I’m back here and tomorrow will be CD1 cycle 4 (I know so many people have been trying so much longer) but just didn’t expect to be back so soon after getting a BFP.

So tomorrow marks CD5.. AF is due around 1st August and I promise to not POAS (apart from the one I need to pee on tomorrow to confirm the pregnancy is gone!) until 8th August if AF doesn’t show.. I can’t risk seeing a chemical and testing early again so have told myself never again will I test early.

Would love some buddies along the way with me 🤞🏼🌈❤️

@LS2020 I'm good, only found out at midnight this morning so still sinking in. I haven't told DH yet as he was so upset so I'll see if I can keep quiet for a while. It is our wedding anniversary on Saturday so May treat myself to a cb digital haha. I'm very nervous and I've never thought twice about being pregnant before.

@Amy259 fingers crossed it will happen. I went through my head trying to figure out what I did wrong or maybe it was down to drinking peppermint tea a lot. At the end I told myself it was down to incompatibility with life, nothing I could have done to change it. It was upsetting but there's nothing you could have done.
I think I has a mmc in feb of this year but I wasn't ttc and assumed period was late. It was so similar to my mc, I'll be speaking to the doctor on Thursday as he can't call me back tomorrow.

@123feraverto the countdown is on

@Littlebee1990 I agree with @LS2020 and thought the heartbeat was only just starting around 6 weeks so it’s only just developing. This must be really stressful and upsetting for you but I am really hopeful you will go back in a few weeks and the heartbeat will be stronger 💖

@LS2020 I feel the exact same as you, couldn’t have put it better. I keep seeing so many lovely stories (including here!) and getting pregnant the next cycle but I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high. I didn’t tell DH until the cp was happening, because I’d ordered a cute baby grow to tell him (mistake, was not nice to open on Monday morning!) but didn’t get the chance. He was gutted but at least it spared him the rollercoaster beforehand. Next time I think I’ll wait until I see it on a digital/make it to over 5 weeks then tell him.

@Mishmased what a lovely anniversary present that would be! Are you testing daily or stepping away until the weekend? Yeah a friend of mine said that same thing, it’s most likely been a chromosomal issue meaning it was never viable. Fingers crossed for a healthy early October sticky little bean!

Thank you ladies.

I’ve moved the private early scan I had booked already to Tuesday next week, I’ll be 6.5-7 weeks so if the heartbeat isn’t strong then it’ll be a pretty certain outcome. I’d rather pay for a private scan and have my partner there if it’s bad news. X

@123feraverto let me know how you get on! Feel everyone is in that waiting lull at the moment

@Mishmased oh bless you, I really hope this one is lovely and sticky for you 🤞🏻 I honestly don’t know when to tell OH this next time now. I basically ran out the bathroom to show him and he was so happy and excited. I think I might try hold out til the 6 week mark next time so it’s a bit closer for scans etc and do a proper surprise for him.

@Amy259 ah that’s what I’ve literally just wrote above because I can’t take him through that again but honestly it was so hard. I got a Digital result and had proper boat load of nausea and sore boobs so I was very deffo pregnant and that makes it feel worse that it wasn’t even low HCG as I had progression and blazing positives until it wasn’t 😪 I really want to be pregnant again but also not sure how I’m going to deal with the anxiety. It sounds stupid after taking 15 months to conceive but I never thought something like that would happen.

@Littlebee1990 are they still not letting partners in hospital scans? But I think that might be a good idea for your own reassurance. I have absolutely no advice on how to do this as I couldn’t in your situation but please try to keep relaxed and spoil yourself - sending you so much love and positive vibes to get you through this next week

@Amy259 also with you on the baby grow... my pregnancy book I ordered on holiday turned up today and had a good cry

@Amy259 haven't tested all day. I work in the middle of no where and work 12 hours. Although I did test again last night and will probably test again tonight more for reassurance as it's still early days.

First time in forever I had to lift boxes and we rarely lift anything at work. Haven't told my boss so he couldn't steer me away from the office with an excuse.
How's everyone keeping?

@LS2020 ❤️❤️
I will hold off for as long as possible which is probably not long cos I tell him everything ha! I am so nervous I cannot explain it. Don't think I'll relax until 12 weeks tbh.

@Mishmased I think that’s what I’ll end up being like. He’ll take one look at me and know I’m hiding something haha. I honestly don’t know how im going to not just panic every time I go to the toilet next time I get a BFP, will see if the hospital can just knock me out for 8 weeks 😂 I really hope this bean is lovely and sticky for you and wish you lots of rest and as much relaxing as you can!

@LS2020 oh that must’ve been so hard, to see the progression then be completely blindsided by it. Mine was more obvious, the lines on my FRER started getting lighter 2 days before the bleeding so I knew it was coming. I think I’ll definitely tell him when I see progression on a digital, so if it goes from 1-2 to 2-3 maybe? Either way I’d tell him in the end, but I don’t want to put him through a rollercoaster if I can avoid it. But yes keeping it quiet will be tough - especially if it lands over a weekend because he’ll definitely suspect it if I refuse a Pinot Grigio 😂

@Mishmased how are you getting on? Hope you’re not going too crazy with worry but understandable if you are! I’ll be like LS and need sedated when it’s my turn!

@Littlebee1990 how are you feeling today? Tuesday isn’t too far away, although I’m sure it feels like a lifetime just now ♥️

Hey ladies!

@Amy259 I feel much calmer than yesterday, I’ve read SO much stuff online and my heads baffled! Some say a heartbeat speed shouldn’t be considered under 6 weeks and others say I have no chance of a good outcome.

I just POAS and it’s the darkest IC I’ve ever had and proper dye stealer. I just don’t even know what to think.

Part of me is so hopeful we will go Tuesday and they’ll say heartbeat is fine but part of me is petrified that this women was warning me for the worst.

I’m also worried going for another scan in between is stupid.. like is there a reason she said come back in 2 weeks and I’ve gone and booked myself a private scan for 1 week time.. I just can’t wait 2 weeks but will having lots of scans be dangerous!?

6 weeks today and I should be so excited as I only made it to 5 last time but I’m terrified x

@Amy259 yeah I track my RHR and that started to fall after AF was due so I did kinda think something might be happening which in a way helped but my lines were still fine so tried to put it out my mind!
Well I got so nauseous last time, I couldn’t do anything in the morning so will be v hard to hide that again or at least not get the sympathy 😂 I would like to do a proper surprise for him though so hope that would get me through trying to keep secret a bit longer

@Littlebee1990 I imagine the 2 weeks was incase the dating was a bit off and it’s just that it needed more time to develop so they’ve said 2 weeks as they’ll know 100% either way. I would not try to put too much stock in them worrying you, they’ll medically have to tell you to be fair. I don’t think the scans cause any radiation or harm to the baby as it checks for sound, they’re not putting anything in your body if that makes sense, it’s reading what’s coming from it.

My only worry for you is it’s just still a bit early and it still doesn’t give you an answer either way but I think from 6 weeks it should be detectable so you’ll be nearly 7 at that point so think should be ok to check

@LS2020 ahh I never made it to a point I couldn’t hide it, so I hadn’t really considered that haha. Right now I wish our biggest problems were keeping it a secret - fingers crossed in a month or so that’s what we’ll be saying!

@Littlebee1990 wow that is a VERY strong line! Fingers crossed! I’ve never heard of multiple scans being dangerous, but I’m not sure. I’ve seen people talk about weekly scans in the early days during fertility treatment so I wouldn’t think that would be a thing if there was an increased risk? You were so so early at that last scan and the heartbeat must’ve been just starting, so hopefully she was comparing the speed to 6 weeks or more, rather than just 5.5. I imagine most women don’t know exactly when they ovulated so she was maybe warning you in case you were further on than you actually are? Great that you feel calmer today!

@Amy259 I know, I would have been 6 weeks on Sunday and then booking in a private scan for the week after 😩 and at best next week all I’m going to get is a positive OPK, the timelines suck so much, wish we ovulated every week but guess we’d have to have a period every week too 😂

@LS2020 @Amy259 Thank you for being so kind. I do agree that an extra week would probably be more reassuring but I’ve said to myself that if the heart has just started it should’ve picked up by a week later.

I promise to keep you all posted and as much as it would suck to be back on this thread with a sad update.. I know if I’m back I’ve got the best support gang behind me! Xx

@Littlebee1990 keeping everything crossed for you ♥️

@LS2020 I have painfully long cycles too so if everything stays the same even after a chemical (no idea if it messes up your cycle??) I won’t ovulate until around 5th-7th October which feels like a lifetime away!! It’s my 30th tomorrow and I couldn’t feel less like celebrating! Hopefully it brings me out of my funk though

@Littlebee1990 yeah I guess that’s the way to see it that it’s had a week to develop so either way should be clearer whichever way it goes. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🏻 I really want you to have a beautiful and healthy 9 months 💕

@Amy259 oh gosh that sucks. I have 27 day cycles so I’ll know 3 weeks today or not I guess and that’s driving me loopy!
What a time to have a 30th too in almost basically lockdown, have you got anything planned?

@LS2020 oh wow that’s brilliant! I’m jealous that you must enter your fw almost as soon as af stops? I’ve got a week of nothingness in the middle that drags!

We’re having dinner tomorrow night with my parents then on Saturday I’ll see my two closest friends. Our wedding was only 4 weeks ago so I don’t feel too robbed of celebrations as we had a great time there! Then on Tuesday we head off to the Isle of Arran for a week, my in laws have a place there and there’s a lovely spa so we’re having a wee honeymoon/birthday week there. Thank you for asking! ☺️

@Amy259 a few days after, yeah. Will start on Saturday for me now. I must admit I always hated as felt like I was always on my period before TTC but for TTC it’s helped a lot to get through quicker.

Aww congratulations on your wedding! I got engaged last week and have been trying to put out thoughts of wedding costs atm 😂
That sounds like fabulous plans though, I hope you have a wonderful time and get lots of relaxation (and of course a wonderful 30th!!)

@LS2020 the grass is always greener - I was grateful for longer cycles when not TTC as there was a nice big gap between periods but now, not so much 😂 ahhh congratulations on your engagement!! That’s such lovely news!

Haha thats it @Amy259! When we have our lovely babies, you’ll get to be on the good side of it again!

Thank you, been so surreal with everything that happened because obviously no one knew about the baby so having to put on big smiles about the engagement has been really hard

@LS2020 that’s similar to how I feel about this weekend, it’s hard to be buzzing about a birthday when a week ago I was thinking of cunning plans to hide the fact I wouldn’t be drinking. I wouldn’t want to come across as ungrateful but at the same time I’m struggling to get in the party mood.

@Amy259 yeah it’s so difficult isn’t it 😪 I must admit, I’ve taken advantage of all the things I can do when pregnant. Had a big glass of wine, some Camembert and a hot bath to cheer me up and try deal with it that way, keeping positive like oh well I won’t be able to do this next month with my BFP so let me enjoy it now and it helped on my final day of holiday to do all things I couldnt do. Also having the plans are really distracting. I had full blood about 4am on the Friday and I went to the beach and played in the sand with my sister and it was honestly so lovely to have the distraction so I hope your birthday can provide something similar 💕

I can’t do when pregnant* 😂