TTC 35+ Thread 3 Cougar And Silver Fox Club

[ELM7]

New thread for us all and the list....
Lynnsong, 45, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 2
Dipsy77, 43, TTC (trying to conceive)#4, cycle 3 after MMC (missed miscarriage)
Sunbird24, 42, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, ivfsolo, attempt#1
Wavesandsmilesagain, 41, TTC (trying to conceive)#5,
Anna41, 41, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 5
Claireb707, 41, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 11
Tiletiletile1, 40, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 18?
Lucieloos, 40, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 3
Lastditchattempt20, 40, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 2
Posy1, 40, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 7
Justonemore39, 39, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 1
Musiceverywhere, 39, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 2
Selina37, 39, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 19
FridayKfangirl, 38, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 1
LT103, 38, TTC (trying to conceive) #1, cycle 3
Loladoodle, 38, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 2
Bearhug9, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 8
Happyhappy37, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 2
Sleeeeeepy, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 1
Elm7, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 8 (after MMC (missed miscarriage))
ChicaXS, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 3 (after tfmr)
Moominmiss, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#4, cycle 10
Farfromperfect82, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 5
Angelchops30, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 3
M4v3r1ck, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 2
Matilda19, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#4, cycle 2
Muda, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 7
Semele5609, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 2 after MMC (missed miscarriage)
Bellabubble, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, cycle 4 after MMC (missed miscarriage)
Eviesma, 35, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 1
Chlo2701, 35, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 3
Pirateweasel, 35, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, cycle 3
Emeraldlily18, 35, TTC (trying to conceive) #1, cycle 13
Kwastell, 35, TTC (trying to conceive)#1, 2+ years (3mmc)

BFP (big fat positive)’s....
Mrstobe, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 6 (1 MMC (missed miscarriage)), BFP (big fat positive)!
PinkTulipz, 37, TTC (trying to conceive)#3, cycle 1, BFP (big fat positive)
Sunshine1984, 36, TTC (trying to conceive)#2, BFP (big fat positive)

I got my first flashing smiley today. What exactly does it mean xx

12dpo and BFN for me. Don't feel at all pregnant so mentally trying to move on from this cycle. AF is due on Saturday so not long to go.

May I join your thread?

I’ve just turned 42 and have three kids 14, 11 and 7. I was done. Definitely done. Then in lockdown I somehow got pregnant. It was so hard even understanding how it happened and I was profoundly shocked. For a few weeks I panicked but then we got used to the idea and even got excited.

We had an early scan and saw a heartbeat. Then two weeks later we had a scan and the baby had died. I had to have a D&C last week.

Somehow being pregnant and losing the baby changed me from never wanting another child to really wanting to have one last role of the dice. All my kids knew I was pregnant and were so excited. Even DH was excited and he had been hard to persuade to have number 3!

But I’m 42 and he’s 48 and even if we conceive again the chances of miscarriage are so high. We will see. We’ve agreed just not to use contraception this summer and see what happens. Nothing to stressful. Obviously I haven’t even ovulated since the D&C yet but I’m preparing with Pregnacare and a good diet and we will see what happens.

Morning ladies. Af turned up right on schedule last night as I was going to bed so cycle 14 for me now. I will class today as CD 1 - is that right? I'm going to start opkt with CB advance on CD 10 and dtd every other day. I've heard grapefruit juice is good for cm. As iv got older I've noticed I dont get heavy amounts of the ewcm. We've tried preseed once or twice so may try that on cd12. Does anyone have any other tips to increase ewcm?

@ShouldEyeShouldntEye Welcome to the group, I’m so sorry for your loss .

Wishing you love and baby-dust x

@shouldeye I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard. I'm the same age as you and after multiple miscarriages in my early - mid thirties I thought that was it but had my DD when I was 40. I stupidly assumed it wouldn't be too hard, that I'd beat the statistics and after another negative test this morning I'm struggling to stay even vaguely positive. I wish you lots of luck and hope we both go on to have the babies we want x

@ShouldEyeShouldntEye I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

And @kirinm sorry you've got a negative and are struggling to stay positive. ❤️

I don't really have any wisdom to share but am thinking of everyone who's sad. It's so tough.

@Loll35 I count the next day as the first day of my period if I come on at night. But not sure if that's right either.

@Hayley19835 flashing smiley means your LH is rising and you should be ovulating in a few days. Keep testing and when you get the solid smiley that's your LH peak and you're about to ovulate (24 to 36 hours).

I'm feeling pretty fed up today 😢 moods are all over the place which is no doubt because I only came off the pill 4 weeks ago, so I guess my body is adjusting to all the change? I'm 9dpo and desperate to test but I know deep down it's too early and I also feel like af is imminent (all the signs are there). Wish i could think about something different just for 5 mins!

@FridaKFangirl so sorry about your cat 😔

I'm a couple of days behind on dpo (am 5 dpo / CD 21) and am reading everything in to every twinge. From the masses of googling I've done I think you can implant at 6dpo but would be early.

Really trying to stop myself from thinking about testing. Am going to try to hold out to 9dpo. But I have zero willpower. What dates does everyone else test from?

@LouJ85 sorry didn't see your post, then posted a similar topic. It probably is better to test later than 9 dpo, but my willpower doesn't hold out much longer than that. If you can wait until 12 dpo think it's better, but I doubt I'll be able to.

@kwastell Yes I think 12dpo is much better. I came across a website - countdowntopregnancy.com - it's really good, you can click on how many dpo you are and it gives you stats on how many women are likely to get false negatives on different dpo. It was quite striking to read that on 9dpo, approx 50% of pregnant women will get a false negative; whereas at 12dpo the likelihood of a false negative falls to only 14%! So if I test today, I've got a 50% chance of being told I'm not pregnant if I am, but if I hold out 3 more days, it's only a 14% risk. Admittedly I'm a bit of a science geek and I love a bit of research, so this really fascinated me! I'd recommend having a look at the site, it really helped me.

Good morning all. Welcome to the newbies 🙂

Sending positive energy to all the ladies who are having a tough time 🙏🏽🙏🏽

@kwastell same here 5dpo and CD17. Try and hold out till AF is due. I don't think I could do the early testing business. When I read about all the early testing on MN, and read about how badly some women take seeing a negative or a faint positive that end up been a chemical. It's mentally exhausting (my opinion). Everyone will do what they feel is right for them. I am one of those people who will just try and wait it out. 🤞🏾 Crossed for you

🙏🏽🤞🏾

@LouJ85 That website is really good, thanks for sharing.

@Happyhappy37 I admire your willpower. I hope I can manage the same.

Hi, hope it's ok if I join in this thread!

I'm 37, been trying for about 18 months but I haven't been tracking ovulation dates etc since September; if this month fails I'll be getting back onto the tracking (I just find it so stressful!).

Anyway, I don't know how many dpo I am but I'm on cd23 of a usually regular 28 day cycle. I'm feeling pretty bloated today and had some mild cramps last night, but trying not to read too much into it (easier said than done!).

Fingers crossed for everyone!

Can I ask you all a question about ovulation cramping?

I’ve been TTC for 19 months now, and have just turned 40 so I know my chances are low.

I get a dull ache every month on one side or another, when the Clue app tells me I’m ovulating. I hadn’t had this (or hadn’t noticed) when I was younger.

Since I am not getting pregnant, I wondered if these cramps might mean something else?

Does anyone know what ovulation cramping could mean - if you’re struggling TTC?

My gp is nice but very unhelpful. I have seen her for my secondary infertility, and she’s given me a few blood tests (results of the day 3-5 back “normal”, but I don’t actually get the numbers for some reason), but she puts all this down to “my age”. I mean, she’s probably not wrong. But still!

@kwastell I think you tagged the wrong Hayley lol should be @Hayleywoody82 x

@Hayley19835 the flashing smiley shows the estrogen surge which precedes the LH surge by a couple of days. Static smiley is LH rise. The leaflet in box is quite helpful.

@Tiletiletile1

Can I ask you all a question about ovulation cramping?

I’ve been TTC for 19 months now, and have just turned 40 so I know my chances are low.

I get a dull ache every month on one side or another, when the Clue app tells me I’m ovulating. I hadn’t had this (or hadn’t noticed) when I was younger.

Since I am not getting pregnant, I wondered if these cramps might mean something else?

Does anyone know what ovulation cramping could mean - if you’re struggling TTC?

My gp is nice but very unhelpful. I have seen her for my secondary infertility, and she’s given me a few blood tests (results of the day 3-5 back “normal”, but I don’t actually get the numbers for some reason), but she puts all this down to “my age”. I mean, she’s probably not wrong. But still!

I'd say it's ovulation cramping, why would you think it isn't? (Sorry don't mean that aggressively but if it's around ovulation I'd say that's what it is)

I'm 41, appear to ovulate every month but we've now been trying for almost a year with no luck.

Sorry- that was for @Hayleywoody82 !

@Tiletiletile1 I'd push for a 2nd opinion, your gp seems rubbish, has your partner had tests?

@LouJ85 I shared link to that site a couple of weeks ago. Agree it's really useful and demonstrates the benefit of testing late. A lot of ' false positives' are actually early losses, it's incredibly rare for a test to show a line (unless evap/indent) if no conception has taken place.
I'm going to try and hold out this month! Just started OPK today ⭕️

claireb707 I sort of think it might be, but pretty sure I didn’t have this before I started struggling to conceive. But maybe I didn’t notice?!

Just wondering if maybe it’s a sign of something else going on in there that I hadn’t thought of!

claireb - no tests for my partner. My gp has said, since I’m not eligible for ivf and I can’t afford to pay for it, “what’s the point?”. She also thought tests for me were pointless but I think I just want answers! Like, it could be my age and that’s fine. But what if it’s something else that’s going undiagnosed? I have been tempted to go private but it’s a confusing and expensive minefield finding anyone! I’ve had the blood tests now, so not sure what other tests (for me).

@Tiletiletile1

claireb707 I sort of think it might be, but pretty sure I didn’t have this before I started struggling to conceive. But maybe I didn’t notice?!

Just wondering if maybe it’s a sign of something else going on in there that I hadn’t thought of!

claireb - no tests for my partner. My gp has said, since I’m not eligible for ivf and I can’t afford to pay for it, “what’s the point?”. She also thought tests for me were pointless but I think I just want answers! Like, it could be my age and that’s fine. But what if it’s something else that’s going undiagnosed? I have been tempted to go private but it’s a confusing and expensive minefield finding anyone! I’ve had the blood tests now, so not sure what other tests (for me).

See a different doctor....

There's loads they can do without doing ivf

[quote lastditchattempt20]@LouJ85 I shared link to that site a couple of weeks ago. Agree it's really useful and demonstrates the benefit of testing late. A lot of ' false positives' are actually early losses, it's incredibly rare for a test to show a line (unless evap/indent) if no conception has taken place.
I'm going to try and hold out this month! Just started OPK today ⭕️[/quote]
Absolutely. I just found it amazing how 3 days can make such a significant difference in terms of chances of a false negative. If I tested today and got a bfn, I'd be none the wiser really, as it's basically 50:50 chance of a false neg. But if I test on Sunday and it's bfn, there's pretty strong odds that I'm out as only about 1 in 10 will get false neg at that point if they're pregnant. I suppose it just helps you to more accurately interpret a bfn, the later you test. That's what I took from it anyway. Our bodies are fascinating!