6 months plus ttc (continuation of 6/7 months ttc) all welcome

[Twinkletoes85]

Hi everyone just another continuation thread 😊

@Aokbaby yes it could have been that to be fair hun.

@Tiletiletile1 sorry I am not sure about whether that can happen but does seem unusual if you conceived your other children fine. Will your GP not refer you if you have been trying for 19 months for some tests?

@Aokbaby sorry to hear.
My chemical was like that (lots of clots) but sometimes my periods are too, so it's difficult to know. The chemical did feel very different though, probably twice as heavy and intense (pain wise) as a usual period for me.

@Tiletiletile1 I haven't heard about a c section causing infertility, perhaps scar tissue/endometriosis? Which I think is my problem... I have endometriosis diagnosed 5+ years ago but mild at the time, it's exacerbated by scar tissue from previous abdominal surgery. We've been TTC 12 months and I have a 2yo.
Hopefully you can get a referral with it being 19 months.

We're definitely having a month off as I now have a terrible cold, we have DTD once and it's about the right time but I think it's off the cards now for the next few days and I haven't been tracking anyway!

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@lamby12 sorry to hear you have a cold, hope your feeling better soon. I’ve been using OPKs but no sign of ovulation as of yet. Sometimes tracking and everything gets rather consuming.

@lamby12 yea I don't usually have much clotting but it was like that for 2days, I can't say there was any more pain than usual just the whole period lasted about 7/8 days which is unusual for me. Guess I'll never know as I didn't test 🤷

Sorry to hear about your cold. I think I'm just not gonna test anything this cycle and try the 'not trying' method, see if that works? Hope you feel better soon x

@Florence13 thanks, it's just a nursery cold from my 2yo... but enough to make DTD too much effort!!

@Aokbaby yep this is a not trying month for us, first month in a year I haven't done OPKs and it's been a nice breather, I feel much less consumed by TTC and it's helping me get more in that long term mindset. OH says I need to because the desperate every month thing is becoming draining for us both.
So, this month won't be the month (though it only takes one time right...?!) but I feel a bit better for it.

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@lamby12 well I hope it doesn’t hang around for long bless you.

@Aokbaby wish I could take a more relaxed approach but can’t help peeing on OPKs

@Florence13 I am the same, I would love to 'not try' but I never seem to manage it! Does anyone have any tips for switching off?!

Sorry to jump on ladies, just a quick non ttc. I've not been checking as often in here atm, more of a lurker!!

There's still a couple of hundred messages to go (but I know how quickly they can be taken up) when it starts getting to the end please someone feel free to start another continuation thread and post a link to it in here (or tag me and I'll start a new one)

I hope everyone is doing as well as can be when ttc xxxxx

@Florence13 I'm saying this now at cd9, all could change by next week lol! Really gonna just try and put it out of my head and just hope for the best🤞 good luck all xx

@Aokbaby aww well keeping my fingers crossed for you to! Let’s hope it’s positive news all round by the end of this cycle.

@Chalkie67 I find the easiest way to switch off has been not to do the testing/app tracking and then just not in your head every single day! I genuinely have only thought it probably every other day this month so far (cd13/14ish now) where's usually it's multiple times per day.

I figure I track enough months to roughly know my cycle now, and going for the every other day method now! For a bit anyway.

Fingers crossed for us all 'not' TTC @Aokbaby @Florence13 too

Ok this is a bit of a personal one, but one thing I've been finding myself wondering recently is whether 50% of the time OH doesn't, you know, do what's needed to conceive. He says he does (I haven't asked him, he just always says when he's in the moment...!) but then afterwards I haven't felt anything, no damp patch or wetness, at all. This is probably 50% of the time, and the other 50% I can definitely tell because it's everywhere...

If it is the case, I certainly think it could be due to the pressure of TTC as I've only noticed this in the last few months and it has turned DTD into a chore and a pressure. I haven't raised it, and I don't think I will, because if it is psychological mentioning it will probably make it worse. I'd rather first try and subtly put the fun back into things...

I suppose my question is, do you think sometimes OH can do what's needed and it be not much or not feel it? I suppose he could be, he tends to stay in for a minute or so after so maybe it just all goes where it needs to.

I've just really noticed it recently, and I suppose if that's not happened then it's definitely not going to happen!!!

Ah thanks for responding @lamby12 I guess I just need to not buy any tests so I can be tempted to think about it.....that's for the advice and I really really hope it works for you.

On your other point, weirdly I noticed something similar last cycle (which was a particularly long cycle). I've got no advice for you and I definitely thought it was best not to say anything as more pressure surely wouldn't be helpful (plus I wasn't sure if I was over thinking things...) but I just thought you'd like to know that you aren't the only person to have thought that.....

@lamby12 and @Chalkie67 I've noticed a lot less seems to come straight back out when I have fertile CM so wondering if it's the same for you ladies?? When it's not fertile CM all of it seems to come straight back out when I get up for a wee regardless of how long I lie still for (seriously, I end up having to do a hilarious unromantic dash / cup to the loo!!)!

@Tink2019 @Chalkie67
Thanks for replying to what I thought was a totally weird question, so I know it's not just me....

A few months ago when it had happened a few times I very casually asked OH if he had when we were in bed about half an hour after (I'd been thinking about it that long!) He said he had, and sounded really weirded out by why I'd asked so I just changed the subject quickly. I know if I therefore ask about it 'properly' a few months on now he'll probably get weird about it either way!?! So definitely not going to say anything. Hopefully this 'not' TTC approach will help if he is feeling under pressure.

Interesting that you guys have noticed this too. Maybe sometimes there's not much or fertile mucus captures it. I just find it so strange that sometimes it's literally everywhere (as in after lying down for a while I have to go to the bathroom and have a major clean up...) and other times I can't feel anything all all...

Like I say I've only noticed recently, but maybe it's because I'm overthinking every time.

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@lamby12 You're definitely not alone. I have absolutely no evidence that fertile CM versus non-fertile CM is what causes it to stay in or come plummeting straight back out like it's bumped into the devil other than my own experience, but may be worth keeping an eye and see if it's the same for you? It'll at least ease your mind if there's a bit of a pattern. TTC is utter bullshit isn't it?! I've spent most of today willing away the time so tomorrow morning comes quicker and I can temp again to check my bbt has gone back up after two days of low temps, today below the coverline. Oh to be a man and just get away with putting out a few more times than normal each month!! X

Lol that made me laugh @Tink2019!! Oh to be a man eh! I bought a thermometer recently but I'm reluctant to use it for fear of the obsession! I'm bad enough when poas 😬

@Tink2019 ah the unromantic cup rush to the loo...I know it well🤣🤣 that made me lol!!

@lamby12.funny I thought the same yesterday and even asked DH if he did, he was very surprised and said of course I did. I do think that if a man is somewhat dehydrated it can impact on how much is produced, or how much time has passed since the last time🤔you're definitely not alone in this. It's definitely normal considering all the things we are all doing right your mind just goes to what could be going wrong, exploring all avenues. I think we as women always think it's something wrong with us/we're doing wrong when in fact it very much could be the man?!

Yea fingers crossed for all of us 'not' ttc this cycle 💕

@lamby12 I’m also with you either dashing to the loo and feeling like there is loads and other times next to nothing. So your definitely not alone!

@Tink2019 haha totally feel you, to just be a man I feel like my hubby is often oblivious to all the tracking I’m trying to do to make sure we are dtd at the right time

Ladies i finally took the plunge and called GP. I am on CD2 today.

They advised me to come for bloods week before AF due so I will do that.
I am also sorting out my smear test overdue coz of COVID.
He also said for hubby to call too to have seamen sample checked and he is looking to get me referred for basic scan.

Will see how that goes but he said as it’s been 2 years and this is where they would start investigating (I was thinking it's a year not two it's very long time!) then he will refer me to specialist.

I am scared but also feeling slightly better. They did ask about my BMI and I am low BMI all my life now I worry that if I would need NHS help ivf or something that it won’t happen as I literally can’t put on weight 😞😞

@Crayon7 that's good news - well done on getting a things started.

I had this same conversation with my doctor about 6 weeks ago, I haven't heard anything yet so probably need to follow up soon.

I think it depends where you are for how long things may take.

X

Yes well done @Crayon7 that's such a positive step, as they say knowledge is power! It's scary but who knows it might be something that's easily fixed?

@lamby12 yes defo chase them, don't be shy about advocating for yourself. It's the only way to get things done at the moment.

I had these tests all done through my GP but now we're on the waitlist for anything further. The fertility clinic is still not taking new patients so we're thinking of going private soon if nothing happens. Might give it until September when I turn 34.

In the meantime I'm reading the fertility bible 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' and keeping fingers crossed xx

[quote lamby12]@Crayon7 that's good news - well done on getting a things started.

I had this same conversation with my doctor about 6 weeks ago, I haven't heard anything yet so probably need to follow up soon.

I think it depends where you are for how long things may take.

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I thought it's time TTC. Strange that it's not the same everywhere.

Hello canni jump on here....had a mc in march and had been trying to conceive for a year before that ...been trying since each month and nothing... we generally dtd every other day till few days after ovulation....i have been using the clearblue opks and tested one a day...and got low for about 5 days then straight to a peak....? I've been reading on this thread ppl testing twice a day as to not to miss surge...can someone explain this more to me! Does going from low to peak mean I could have missed surge ..?
Getting so disheartened to have another month of not been preg....when feels like I'm doing all we can!.

Also anyone take anything to help ewcm?

Hi @Jungle25

Welcome to the thread. Sorry you're feeling like that, it's such a difficult journey when you're doing everything possible and it's not happening!

In terms of testing twice a day...

When I've used the clear blue digital advance (where you get a flashing smiley for high fertility and a static for peak) - I tested once a day, then when I got the flashing I tested twice per day so that I didn't miss the peak. Sometimes the peak doesn't last a full 24 hours so isn't detected, or, by the time you detect it it's at the end.

When I've used the clear blue digital (the pink sticks, where you just get a smiley when LH is detected) I've tested once per day then started testing twice per day when I'm around the time I normally ovulate according to the Flo app (usually from day 10). Again for the reasons above, so that I don't miss it.

I'm not sure that it makes much difference - I'm not testing this month but last month I had a textbook month according to the OPKs (literally matched the clear blue graph of a normal cycle!) and it didn't happen....

But it can make you feel more in control knowing you wont miss identifying your most fertile days.

Hope that helps
X

@lamby12 that's helped me as well as I'm using a mix of the pink and purple ones for boring reasons that I won't go into. I got a smiley on my pink ones today whereas with fmu today on the purple ones it was just flashing. Therefore I'm testing again right now with the purple ones to see if it's static. Either way, I'm going to believe the pink one and take today as my peak and tomorrow my ovulation day.