TTC 35+ Thread 2 Cougar And Silver Fox Club

[Loladoodle]

New thread for you ladies. Let’s bring on the Bfps!!

@Loladoodle it’s hard not to worry when you see the “a child needs a father” brigade out in full force, but supportive comments from people like you really helps!

There's a mum on a Facebook group I'm in (which jumped from a Mumsnet thread) whose DC is 2, she's a single mum and went down the IVF route. She's found the vast majority of people incredibly supportive and interested in her journey. I think it's brilliant and I'd have done the same in the same situation. A child needs love and care to thrive, not a '50s idea of a nuclear family.

@lastditchattempt20 😂😂thank you. It seems we're divided on here. Half of us are addicted to poas and the other half the thought of it brings us out in a cold sweat. 😂😂

@Dreamcatcher007
If the rest line is really faint it's a negative, the rest line has to be as dark or darker than the control to be positive. It depends which ones you are using as to which urine to use. The clear blue digital ones say use fmu, most of the cheapies say not to use fmu. I use both cbd and cheapies. I start testing once a day from about cycle day 8. When I get a flashing smiley on the cbd I switch to multiple times a day so generally fmu, 4pm and 8pm and sometimes just before bed too.
I generally get about 4 days of flashing smiley before I get a solid smiley and that's generally between 4 and 8pm in the evening.

These are my opks from this month and last. The femometer app can take photos of and determine the value of opk test. I use it to help

@Dreamcatcher007 re:ovulation. The tests just look for the hormone (LH) surge which is what triggers ovulation. The only way to know exactly when ovulation occurs would prob be an ultrasound (unless you are someone who 'feels' when they ovulate). I think data says it can be anywhere from 12-36 hours after the surge- on average, so yes some might be shorter I suppose.
All the research says DTD before ovulation is far more likely to result in fertilisation, so waiting for the positive OPK might actually only give you a 12 hr window (worst case scenario). If you have a regular cycle I've seen a recommendation that you DTD starting at Day 9 ish and every other day until positive OPK then definitely that day and ideally the one after. The sperm ideally should be waiting for the egg to appear, not chasing after it 😂
I'm using the CB OPK as it tests for estrogen also, which rises before LH (which is what most OPKs test for) and so gives me an early warning that ovulation likely to be soon. I test daily after AF finishes then twice daily once estrogen starts to rise (flashing smiley) But it's not cheap 😕

I'm using it because we don't really DTD regularly enough throughout the month to rely on catching it, and like others have said previously I'm hesitant to do it during TWW so it really helps me knowing we're timing it right.

Hi all,
Do you mind if I join? 39 over here with a 34 year old partner.
Been trying for about 1.5 years now, off the pill for about 2years.
Currently 7dpo with cramps today.
Getting quite impatient 😣 and would love some positivity xx

Oh i had no idea dtd in the tww wasnt a good thing. Not sure i can be sure when ovulate if not checking tho and weirdly the two apps i have are showing differnt dates
I got some cheapy sticks of amazon but not sure if know what im doing..
Also fiance loves dtd not sure id be able to not for 2 weeks.. Something to think about i suppose see what this month brings x

I think if you're having trouble conceiving it's something to consider, just between 5dpo and 9dpo it's probably not a problem for lots of couples.

I'm just going to be extra careful because I have to make the most of every opportunity. I was feeling a bit fed up just there, it may not matter how careful I am, because I'm older. :(

@lastditchattempt20 @claireb707 Thank you so much - this is super helpful!! Although it’s also super worrying for me that even people who get their timing exactly right like you do every month still don’t conceive immediately! Can I ask how long you’ve been TTC? I’m 36, and DH is 40, and I now worry it’ll take us ages!

Im only just starting cycle 2 so haven't been trying long! Conceived DC1 on 3rd month but obviously was younger then.
Tbh there's so many variables, even timing it right is no guarantee. I worry I'm not ovulating or that my eggs are old or my uterus is not great for implantation or that I'm not healthy enough. A lot is down to chance unfortunately and just thinking positive and trying to control the (few) things I can.

@lastditchattempt20 That's exactly what I'm worrying about, getting an egg, hoping it's good enough, timing it right, now I'm worried about my uterine lining not being good enough.

When I feel really low I look at this thread and it gives me hope and cheers me up a bit. I hope it helps people here too. :)

community.whattoexpect.com/forums/45-moms/topic/any-successful-pregnancies-over-45-with-own-eggs-please.html

@Lynnysong I've got preexisting issues with uterus so am not confident in its abilities! 🙈. Might do some research into supplements etc

@Dreamcatcher007 this is cycle 10 for us 😢

@lynnysong you’re welcome. And @Sunbird24 the only thing a child ‘needs’ is love, safety, stability, good Nutrition /health/development, stimulation and routine. There are children have fathers but don’t have those things!! When In actual fact those things are what really matter and a mother is perfectly capable of providing

There are so many variables I find it really mind-boggling and this first month wasn’t even meant to be us ‘Really properly trying’ ha!

Welcome @selina37! Missed your poet earlier.

Oh yes- hi @selina37! Sorry to hear it's been a long journey for you- have you spoken to your GP? This is a lovely group from reading everyones posts- very supportive.

@claireb707 🤞🤞🤞 sending lots of baby dust your way and hoping some might come our way too 😊

@lastditchattempt20 I’m exactly like that - worry about everything! And I don’t think that’s helping with the conception efforts 😅

Hey @lynnysong and @lastditchattempt20 I saw your note about uterine lining. I have being following a Chinese medicine plan for a couple of months and learnt that the most important time to nourish uterine lining is during and just after your AF. So eating blood nourishing foods like red meat on the bone, bone broth, black pudding, aubergine, dates, pate, any red fruit/veg eg goji, tart cherry, beetroot and lots of iron-rich leafy greens. Also acupuncture around day 3 is recommended.

If anyone wants to know I can share a a few links to figure out pattern and there's a fertile checklist

I've had a really vivid (and slightly horrifying) dream that I was pregnant and ended up having quads 😮😮 identical girls and identical boys
The logistics were a nightmare as were the amount of nappies and then I woke up 😂😂😂

Oh yay, thank you for tagging me! I followed the first thread and hoping to be around more on this one. I'm nearly 36 and have myself a silver fox. DS is almost 2 and took 7 cycles to conceive. Currently on CD3 of cycle 3 so we'll see what happens. My ovulation date seems to be all over the place so I'm thinking this month we'll just DTD as much as we can between CD10 and CD20! Good luck to you all this cycle🤞

Hey, yeah I've seen the GP and all tests have come back normal, I'm just waiting on the FSH test and the tube dye test. DP has had a sperm test and he's all fine.

I'm hoping (🤔) a tube dye test may also act to 'flush' the tubes out... I'm not sure it will work like that, but I think I heard it somewhere!

I have two children from a previous relationship (15 and 10) so hoping it's just taking time.

Lots of luck to everyone 🥰

@claireb707 quads would be amazing... and slightly terrifying!