First time TTC - help please!! Any one else TTC for their first time?

[BeeR2009]

Hi everyone,

Me and my husband have made the decision to try for a baby - we had a talk last month after I thought I might be pregnant (we weren't actively trying) and after 12 years together feel that now is the right time.

I'm feeling really excited and a little nervous - I know it may take a while and I just want to be as prepared as possible and be doing as many of the right things as I can.

What do people recommend for trying to get pregnant? Is anyone else in the same boat and would like to keep in touch/progress?

I'm due to finish AF in around 2 days and due to ovulate around 28th according to my tracker app - I've got folic acid and vitamin D arriving tomorrow that I can start taking, what else can I be doing to prepare as much as possible? I know it sounds silly, but do we just start 'trying' as soon as my period is over?

Look forward to speaking to you all soon!

Thanks,

Bee x

@LennyAndToots I started using ovaview, I got them off amazon for really cheap and you get a lot but I felt like they weren’t that clear, so I got some easy@home ones and downloaded the pre mom app and found they are so much better and give good clear lines, I’ll attach a pic of my opk from yesterday!
Everyone feels like they are ready at different time’s and I just think they should do what’s best for them and their partner no matter what other people think!
Thankyou! And good luck on your journey too!x

@LennyAndToots

Hi @Vil10 I agree with Lenny, it's not about age it's where you are in life and when you're ready! Fingers and toes crossed for you this cycle!

@LennyAndToots I used cheapy opk from boots it was £4.99 for 5 strips, I started testing on day 10. But I also tracked bbt and my lh surge was the same day as my temp spike so the combination of both seemed to be a good indicator, I think that's the main trick, establishing exactly when your fertile window is, but at the same time dtd every other day between days 10-20 cant go wrong right? Bound to catch the window I reckon!

Wow I didn't know you could have an upside down womb! I'd assume it's corrected itself now if you're regular, but I totally get it would be in the back of your mind!

Hi, can I join please?

I've been TTC for 18 months, so not in the early stages like most (or all?) of you seem to be? I'm just finding lots of other threads get full up quickly and it seems like everyone has been chatting for a while on there so you get a bit lost!

A little about me - both 29, been TTC for 18 months, in that time have been pregnant twice but both needed in MC. We've been referred to a fertility clinic but lots of delays because of covid, so we are continuing trying 'the natural way' in the meantime.

My tips would be for both you and your partner to take pre-conception vitamins, and only use OPKs if it doesn't stress you out too much. I'd also suggest buying some cheap tests off amazon (I've used the Ovaview ones, which gave me a first sign of pregnancy then I used the CB digital to confirm). People on mumsnet don't seem to rate the clear blues, it seems to be all about the FRERs. I think the FRERs are likely to show you are pregnant earlier than any other test, but they are not digital so you're left squinting and hoping for even a faint line, whereas the clear blues will spell it out for you, even if it's a few days later. But I would suggest buying the cheap ones as you WILL be tempted to test early, so it can really add up the £££ if you use branded all the time!

Anyway, sorry, long post. I hope it's ok for me to join, even though it's been a bit longer for me. We are all trying for the same thing. Good luck to all!

Also another vote here for cutting caffeine, but both of you. DH used to drink lots of coffee every day, but has completely switched to decaf and has managed it very well. I'm more of a tea drinker, but again I drink decaf.

What are you ladies doing about alcohol?

@LennyAndToots yes exactly! Great to have the support. And while it's good to be informed but I'm trying to avoid reading about people's bad experiences.. of course trying to be realistic but I just don't want to go into it thinking the worst!

@Rocky89 so far my official date for returning to work is June 15.. it's not as bad here so they're trying to get things back to normal. But to be honest my OH has been so busy WFH that we've still been struggling to find time to DTD. When he's not working he's exhausted.

@SK2970 good luck with the TWW. Hope you continue to feel great and if not we're here if you need a chat!

Hi @Daffodil21 of course welcome! Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. That must be hard and then to have everything delayed on top of it all. I hope things wrk out for you and thanks for the tips.

I'm trying to cut out alcohol although I had a couple of glasses when AF showed up. Also managed to switch to decaf coffee but my only difficulty is the Diet Coke. The caffeine free kind is not easily available here but I'm gonna try to get my hands on some!

@Daffodil21 hello lovely. So sorry to hear about your MCs. I think most of us are in the early stages but would be great to talk to you for recommendations and advice.

What's the earliest you can be referred to a clinic? As in how long do you have to be trying for? Someone I know was referred for IVF and found out they were pregnant (naturally) the day of their first appointment so definitely keep DTD!

I'm not a big alcohol drinker so I haven't changed anything there. I'm a go hard or go home person when it comes to the drink so get drunk like 4 times a year and then don't drink the rest of it. I have been drinking tea though but haven't switched to decaf. Have about 3/4 cups a day, hubby is probably the same. Neither of us like coffee. What are you doing about alcohol? Xxx

@Rocky89 Thankyou! Whereabouts in your cycle are you?
@Daffodil21 hi! So sorry about the miscarriages but you seem so positive to be on this journey, you’ve got such a good mind set! I have everything crossed for you that it happens!
I have 1 black coffee with my breakfast and OH usually has 2 maybe 1 a day, but I’m getting decaf today, I also take 1 folic acid every morning with my breakfast! As for alcohol, we arent mid week drinkers and very very rarely drink at home during the weekends, only if we go out, obviously during lockdown and whilst the weather has been nice I’ve had a few drinks but I definitely won’t be drinking during my TWW, and my OH is so supportive of that, he doesn’t drink either unless we go out!x

Has anyone tried the clear and simple early response pregnancy tests? I saw them in home bargains last week 99p for 1!! So obviously I picked up 2, I’ve never used them but reviews some okay on them

@Vil10 just saw you take your folic acid at breakfast. I take seven seas trying for a baby and take it at night. Do you think it makes a difference as to what time of day you take it?

I haven't bought any tests. At this moment I'm waiting until AF doesn't come along then will buy one. I say this now but I think in a couple of months time I'll probably not be able to wait! 😂

What's everyone's thoughts on taking a test? Would you take it with your OH or on your own then surprise them with the news? Xxx

Can I also join (if not too full)? Although I’m also in a bit of limbo at the minute and probably not actually starting until next cycle.

Like most people, our plans have been majorly thrown off course due to covid. Our original plan was to have a big last holiday, then sort of start trying in September (stop using condoms but just have sex with our usual frequency which is not every other day). Holiday got cancelled so we had the discussion of what are we waiting for? I’m unhappy in my job so been doing a few applications and so we’re in this limbo of wanting to start TTC but not while my job situation is uncertain (I’ve been applying to jobs for years so it’s not a given that I’ll get any of these jobs) I’ve been taking folic acid tablets but still been using condoms. Except one occasion a week before my period was due, so shouldn’t have been around ovulation. My period is now 10 days late but two negative pregnancy tests (latest one yesterday with morning urine at 9 days late so should show something). I’m going to buy another set tomorrow. I have longer cycles - about 34 days - but I’m fairly regular. I can only think of a few occasions when my period didn’t come at all, one was finishing my dissertation at uni and most of the other times were when I was a teenager. So I’m now thoroughly confused as to what my body is doing and why it’s picked this point to go completely off on one. I’ve not been on hormonal birth control for years so it’s not my cycle readjusting to that either 🤦‍♀️The negative pregnancy tests aren’t disappointing as such because we knew it was unlikely but it’s not a relief either. It’s made us realise that we do want this.

There is one job that I’ll be applying to (if the weekends test come back as negative) and I’ll know about that outcome in early June. If successful, we’ll start trying as soon as I start that position in July (previously I’d said I needed to be in a job for 6 months before trying but I just don’t see the point in waiting). As my period has gone haywire (I’m assuming I’m not pregnant), I think it’ll be late June, early July before we can actually start trying but this will be having sex every other day to start with so we’re skipping a step in our original plan. That is if my period ever comes back!

If I’m allowed to join in my weird limbo state, we are both 30 trying for number 1. We’ve been married for a while and had the flurry of people asking when we will start TTC but I think most people now assume we aren’t interested, so that buys us a lot of time away from questions. Live in the east of England, he’s originally from here but I moved down (I’m northerner) after meeting him at uni.

@Peach1204 no I don’t think it matters, all I read was to try and take it at the same time everyday, I do it with my breakfast just so I remember because I put the tub of them next to the kettle!
I also told myself I wouldn’t buy any but when I saw them I thought well I’ll pick them up just in case one morning I really want to test but don’t want to hold my first morning urine in whilst I go out and buy one😂
My OH is still working but im not so if I was to get pregnant in this cycle he’d be at work when I took it in the morning anyway, then I’d probably go and get a digital and surprise him when he got home! Either way whether he was at work or not I’d like to surprise him! I’ve always thought how would I tell our parents, I know both mine and his can’t wait as this will be their first time being grandparents, so I’d want to make it special!xx

Oh I also meant to add - this month we've been trying a fertility gel. It's just the Tesco own one as didn't want to wait for delivery of pre-seed, but will be going for branded next month. However the Tesco one is good! May even go back to it after giving pre-seed a try. It definitely helps with the, er, frequency of DTD!!

@SaraVB thank you. I knew it may not happen straight away but I didn't anticipate it taking this long, and I certainly didn't expect the MCs. I sort of prepared myself for one, but not for two.

@Vil10 interesting you say I seem positive, certainly doesn't feel that way sometimes 😂

@Peach1204 you have to have been trying for 12 months before going to your GP. I was a little naughty and went a bit earlier saying it had been 12...(please don't judge 😳) my periods were irregular and I just felt like something was wrong. It turns out that my tests are fine, possible suspected PCOS but they say they're not worried because I can conceive. However my DP's results showed some issues which is why we have been referred, so no regrets that I went early, even though I feel bad for lying. The whole referral process seems to take ages too, I don't expect we will receive treatment for a year or so.

When it comes to alcohol I used to not drink in the TWW but carry on pretty much as normal otherwise, but now I'm going to stop altogether. I do like a glass of wine (probably a bit too much!) so it can't hurt to cut it out completely!

Have any of you been testing early or are you very disciplined about not?

Sorry for a long post again!!!

I have so much to catch up on from yesterday!

@M4v3r1ck thanks so much for your kind words about the wedding situations. Hope your coil removal goes well today! From what I understand you can pretty much get on with TTC straight after the coil's been removed can't you? You're going to be very busy from now on

@Rocky89 yep I emailed pretty much all of our suppliers as soon as this kicked off to see what they might be able to do in terms of the possibility of postponing and moving our deposit to another date. Near enough everyone said that would be fine, but that was months ago now. I think perhaps I might contact the venue and let them know our back up plan and get them to pencil in a date for next year soon. Hopefully in a few weeks time we will be able to make a final decision anyway.

Haha oh gosh I know I'm the same - typing out all this advice like 'who even am I?' I totally don't know everything, but my god I've done a lot of reading and research. At the mo I'm finding it all really interesting, but I expect the novelty wears off when you've been TTC for a few times. How long left have you got of your TWW again? I'm meant to be entering my fertile week today, so I'm probably going to be hyper alert as to every tiny little sign that ovulation is coming ha

@SK2970 don't think I've said welcome yet :) this is shaping up to be such a lovely group. In terms of telling people, we have told our immediate families (siblings and parents) but only because it impacts our wedding which was meant to be in September, and everyone was quite heavily involved in the planning and the day in general. Otherwise I probably wound't have told anyone. It's a bit of a weird thing to tell family isn't it, like 'hey, I'm going to be having lots of sex from now on' Oh god don't get me started on worrying, I'm trying to keep it at bay for now, but technically we've not had a proper run at TTC as only started a week ago after AF and I'm only meant to be entering my fertile week as of today. I'll 100% worry if it doesn't happen first time round, even though I know that's stupid and that very few people fall first time.

@Vil10 I think I might have been in another thread with you :) Awesome that you got a positive on OPKs - I'm yet to have that but I just started using a week ago on CD6 so not expecting to get one for another few days. I hope your cycle settles back down. I came off the pill in April and had my first natural AF 30 days later, hoping this cycle is a similar length but who knows!

@Daffodil21 welcome :) sorry to hear your fertility clinic appointments have been put back, everything is so up in the air right now isn't it, it's hard not to find it unsettling. Thanks for the tips. I told myself I wouldn't buy any pregnancy tests until after I ovulated, but I caved a few days ago and ordered some cheap pink dye ones and clear blue, going to try my best to wait until AF is due to test though xx

@SK2970 just spotted your request for book recommendations :) I just finished 'the impatient woman's guide to getting pregnant' - it's pretty light and easy to read, but really informative. It pretty much covered every question I had. I think its about £7 on Amazon xx

@MintGreenLife it's only natural - it's exciting to think there is a possibility so of course you'll want to test! I still test early, even after all this time, but trying to stop that now. Last month I managed just one early test so that's progress haha.

Another vote here for the inpatient women's guide. Also 'pregnancy for men' by Mark Woods. It's written in an upbeat and funny way which is possibly less daunting for men! I've picked it up too and actually found myself laughing!

@mintgreenlife, best of look dtd this weekend then! I'm 10dpo at the minute, no symptoms of anything at all aside from the 1.5days cramping I had 7-8dpo.

@Daffodil21 so sorry to hear about your miscarriages, 18months jeesh hats off to you, you must be one strong lady here's to this thread being filled with baby dust for all of us!

@Peach1204 I'm going to do my test with my partner, hence going to wait until next Saturday, for a few reasons, a. we'll be off so can celebrate if it's positive, b. We'll be off so I can drink from lunch time if it's negative (haha).

There is a lot to catch up on, on here I can't fathom it all, but welcome to all the newcomers!

I say welcome to all the newcomers, I only joined yesterday lol

@Daffodil21 I say now I'm going to wait until day of AF, but I'm certain I'll cave before then! I've ordered some preseed which is meant to be coming today, mostly because I have no idea whether I'll get decent EWCM, although I did last month when I wasn't really tracking anything but did notice it. Do you usually use it throughout your cycle any time you're DTD, or just during your fertile window? X

@Rocky89 haha thanks. I know a lot of women mention all these symptoms after ovulation and trying to symptom spot, of course I don't know if this is 100% correct, but the book I read said it's highly unlikely to experience any symptoms until 14 days after ovulation. Although I know I'll read into every little twinge etc when I get to the TWW x

@mintgreenlife that is so good to know! I have read that most symptoms don't start until week 4 onwards, I guess it's us women making things more complicated for ourselves where a woman gets a bfp and then tells everyone the early symptoms she has so then we all look out for them, when actually they could also just be pms! I'm trying so hard not to obsess and just take note of twinges etc but not overthink it, so take heed for your tww haha!

@MintGreenLife I've actually never used it before. I started using it in my fertile window this month, mostly because that's when I decided to go and buy it, but I think I'll only use it in the fertile window. Oddly enough there's no 'need' for it in the first week after AF, but by the time I'm in my fertile window, I need a little, er, help 😳 I can't believe I just wrote that haha. It's a little unromantic because you have to put it inside you 'no more than 15 minutes before intercourse' but luckily we have a spare room so I just nip in there and grab one out of the drawer and do it in there!

I also bought some conceive plus lube so I have a fall back if needed where I haven't already anticipated with the gel! I haven't used tried that yet though. Anything is worth a go at this point!

When it comes to symptom spotting - every single month I've had 'symptoms' which just turned out to be AF symptoms, however the thing that made me take a test when I was pregnant was peeing even more than usual. It was at the point where it was embarrassing at work so I thought I'd better test. So hard not to drive yourself crazy with symptom spotting though. I remember staying up until 3am one night googling if you could feel fertilisation as that was the feeling I had. DH thought I was crazy (and maybe I was), but sure enough, that month we had conceived (separate time to the excessive peeing!)

To be honest I may have even misquoted the book and it might be even later than 14 days over ovulation! I just remember thinking to note that you're unlikely to get any symptoms after ovulation and before you take a test, so as to A. not read into every tiny little thing, and B. not freak out if I don't feel anything at all x