First time TTC - help please!! Any one else TTC for their first time?

[BeeR2009]

Hi everyone,

Me and my husband have made the decision to try for a baby - we had a talk last month after I thought I might be pregnant (we weren't actively trying) and after 12 years together feel that now is the right time.

I'm feeling really excited and a little nervous - I know it may take a while and I just want to be as prepared as possible and be doing as many of the right things as I can.

What do people recommend for trying to get pregnant? Is anyone else in the same boat and would like to keep in touch/progress?

I'm due to finish AF in around 2 days and due to ovulate around 28th according to my tracker app - I've got folic acid and vitamin D arriving tomorrow that I can start taking, what else can I be doing to prepare as much as possible? I know it sounds silly, but do we just start 'trying' as soon as my period is over?

Look forward to speaking to you all soon!

Thanks,

Bee x

@SK2970 I know what you mean.. having children was never a priority when i was younger and in the last years I kept putting it off as I wanted to get married first. Finally realised it didn't make any sense postponing it further but still getting adjusted to the fact that I'm actually trying to get pregnant not avoid it!

Sorry to hear about your weddings ladies.. I can imagine it must be disappointing after having put so much time and effort into planning it. Good that you have something else to look forward to this way though!

This is my second month TTC and last month my intention was to wait until AF was late. I was sure I'd be able to do it. Then I realised TTC makes you crazy and I couldn't stop thinking about it. i kept imagining all kinds of symptoms. I finally gave in and did a shitty test and got a negative. Then AF was 2 days late and did another test, another negative and finally AF arrived that evening. Definitely will try to put off testing until later this time if i can manage to be patient enough!

@Peach1204 I'm the same.. would love to be able to share the news with my mum or best friend when it actually happens but afraid that something may go wrong. Trying to remain calm as I'm sure overstressing doesn't help

@SaraVB definitely trying to keep as chilled as possible. Currently on furlough, home alone so I haven't thought about anything apart from babies recently! Thought about ways of announcing it and when. When is a biggy for me in terms of worrying. I don't think I'd want to say anything even after the 12 week scan, maybe closer to 20 weeks. We aren't telling people we are trying. Feel like it is harder than they let on when you learn about this at school 😂 xxx

Hey ladies,

Welcome newbies (even though I'm one myself!)! 😃😂

Hectic day in work, so it was really nice to catch up on all these messages! 😍 I'm based in bonny Scotland! 😃

Sorry to hear about wedding stress and cancellations - two of my friends have had to reschedule their weddings to next year now! Fingers and toes crossed it all works out for you, ladies! 😘

I'm 35 and will be 36 in a few months, so having that slight panic too... it was always at the back of our minds, but we've always been off doing other things and having adventures! However, after moving house (and doing loads of renovations), we've decided the time is (hopefully) right for us! Trying not to overthink it either and just let whatever happen, happen... just hoping all goes ok tomorrow with my coil removal, especially with this whole COVID situation! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 Was honestly so shocked when I got the phone call to say they were setting up appointments again! I thought I would be waiting months!

@Peach1204 I’m a worrier too!!

We haven’t told anybody either so know what you mean and ideally would want to wait until scan....my mum will be over the moon!! But don’t want the added pressure!!
It all feels complicated and I haven’t looked into OPKs etc yet. It makes me sad to see people struggling! I hope none of us struggle!

Really sorry in advance for the long post!! Promise il do shorter in future!

@MintGreenLife in your shoes yes I wouldn't leave it longer than 2months with guests travelling! fortunately for us all guests live locally so we're going to wait it out, we'd already booked registry office for a few days before the wedding so we'll still do that part and then have the wedding at a later date, the issue I'm finding leaving it though is that everyone from march to now (and onwards) have already booked dates in 2021 so there's going to be minimal choice, if any, for next year, so I'd take that into consideration too, have you contacted your venue? Perhaps email just to see what the deal is if you haven't already?

Yeah bbt I find interesting, although it's not a guaranteed predictor of implantation as women can get dips even if not pregnant but is deffo an indicator of ovulation! But from all sources I've read the most consistent thing is that your temp should stay high 16+ days after ovulation as it should drop back down before AF so we will see! I'd deffo recommend doing bbt alongside opk as I've also read that opk detects the LH surge, but this can happen even if you don't release an egg? Whereas if you get the opk and the bbt then you're onto a winner in tracking, only thing with bbt is it tells you when you have ovulated rather than when you're about to.
Im hoping I'm making sense with my sharing of knowledge?! I seem to have become a pro over the past nine days haha x

@Lpeach1 @SaraVB @sk2970 it's terrible isn't it having to focus on anything else when you're at home all day!
@sk2970 where are you in your 2ww?

@M4v3r1ck good luck with your coil removal tomorrow!!

@M4v3r1ck good luck with the coil removal!

@SK2970 I'm trying not to get my hopes up just in case but Not sure how long I'd be able to wait before telling my mum.. I think she'd be more excited than me.

@Rocky89 Hopefully once we can actually go outside again it will take my mind off things a little bit and give me other things to focus on!

@SK2970 I feel like people don't except anyone to struggle so if we said we were trying they'd expect a baby by Easter next year! 😂 I mean that would be the dream but timings all have to be right and it's not that easy to get pregnant IMO (not as easy as it was made out to be when having the contraception sex Ed class!) keeping the faith that all of us don't have to wait forever.

@Rocky89 honestly it's the worst! It's definitely got worse now I'm on my own.

@M4v3r1ck hope tomorrow goes well!

Xxx

@SK2970 @SaraVB I too would want to tell my mom and my sister...but it would be preferable to do it in person rather than virtually 😕
But I guess we need to get our bfps first 😂

@Rocky89 yes you're right let's hope this is a good month for us.

Last month was quite stressful for me but feeling much better to know there are others in a similar situation that I can discuss this process with.

@Peach1204 yes you're right I spent my younger years worrying about getting pregnant thinking that the slightest slip up could do it!

@Peach1204 oh that must be the worst :/ are you able to see your other half?

@SaraVB most definitely! I reckon our partners will also appreciate us not bending their ears with our obsessing!

@SaraVB me too! Whilst I'm glad I didn't risk it I don't believe it's as easy as they make out! Xxx

@Rocky89 yes I am lucky that I get to see him everyday still. He's out the house about 9 hours of the day so I struggle to fill my time. I go for a walk then just stalk threads on here most of the day! 😂 when I am back at work 4 days a week we will be out of the house 12 hours a day, need to make sure we aren't too tired to DTD! It's definitely been easier during lockdown! Xxx

Ahh I see, I can imagine that gets pretty grueling! But yes I know what you mean, both of us WFH means we were able to vary times of the day dtd which we.wont be able to do when things go back, however I don't think that will be for a while yet!

@Rocky89 I’m only a few days into the TWW, not playing on my mind too much YET!!

I know a few people who have got pregnant without trying and just feels a bit alien! Like you say definitely not what they make it out to be...it’s a science!!
What books have you read? Any recommendations? I feel a bit naive when I read other posts!!

@sk2970, try to hold onto that for as long as possible haha, it's not easy to do!
So I haven't read any books, I've basically read almost everything that comes up on the first two pages of Google in relation to coming off the pill, ovulation, bbt, cm, opks, the science behind it all, implantation and symptoms....and then have kind of made my own mind up based on the conflicting information out there. The one thing I can say with confidence is that you can't know anything for sure until you do a test after your missed period, all websites say "ooh these are the symptoms implantation bleeding, no implantation bleeding, sore boobs, hunger, food aversion, but actually you could be preggo and not have any of these symptoms, and equally you could have all these symptoms and not be preggo" lol, it's minefield I swear!

@Rocky89 that's so good that you can just DTD whenever! We've had 4 weeks of that during lockdown when you take out my withdrawal bleed and AF and now he's back. Will just have to make the most of the time we are together when AF has stopped this time. Trying to shift a few pounds so can do more exercise to take occupy things (but I don't like it! 😂) I think I'll be back in June but I could work from home instead of going in. No idea what the plan is. Any idea for you going back? Xxx

Yes make use of that time mama!

I guess it depends what you do as to whether you'll be back properly?

Il likely still WFH, I'm a social worker so I'm still working, but based at home instead of the office, my partner works in marine sales so he's WFH as he is usually in an office when he's not travelling and as he's not flying off anywhere anytime soon I'm grateful for that!

@Rocky89, I love that you have wrote that a missed period is that one sign to wait for.... but it's just so darn hard to wait for that haha!

Good shout on reading the first two pages of google. I feel a little lost on everything. And I have to say I was a bit naive as to how hard it can be to get pregnant (albeit it's my first month TTC) after reading about people's experiences. I guess we just base it when we were younger and an age like 18 (?) being optimum time to be able to get pregnant? And then you hear about surprise pregnancies then etc. I was quite surprised at stats like 20% getting pregnant in the first month.

At least we are all in this together so can share advice and most importantly support x

@LennyAndToots omg definitely, you think it's simply a case of stopping birth control but it's not!

I totally agree it's hard to wait, I'm 10dpo now, I've promised myself I'm not going to test until next Saturday which would be 18dpo, purely as I don't want to test daily and feel down if it's negative so I'm going over what I should be, but at the same time the urge every morning to go and buy tests! Purposely not got one in the house to stop me from impulsively doing it haha.

Where are you in your cycle?

Hi ladies,
Please can I jump on this thread too, I was on another one but for some reason it said the thread was closed? Very annoying!
A little bit about me, I’m 24, OH is 30 next month, I’ve always wanted to be a young mum and believe being a mum is what I’m meant to do, ive worked with children since being 16 and have my own business with my mum in childcare and nursery settings. Even though we are both still only young we have our own home, stable jobs and very supportive families so we thought well why not start trying, and I am so excited to be doing!! I came off the pill 31st jan, had withdrawal bleed 4-9th Feb, but had an operation on the 12th so the rest of feb and beginning of March was out of the window, but we thought coming off before that would give my body chance to get used to it whilst we couldn’t DTD whilst I was recovering! I then had my first natural af 13-16th March then another 26-28th so March was a no go as I had no idea when I ovulated. I then didn’t get an af at all in April, and the week that I thought was my af arriving actually turned out to be my ovulation pains that I didn’t know about until I put my May af into flo app which arrived 7-11th May! So basically In short, May is the first proper month that we have it under control and have been properly TTC in my fertile window! I got a strong positive on an opk yesterday so DTD when OH got home from work and have been doing every other day! Sorry for the ramble I just thought it was best getting the facts out the way in the first post haha!x

&Rocky1989, possibly 6dpo? But I feel like my apps aren't helping me track very well so if AF hits this month (which would be a shame) then I'm going to get some OPKs to try and work out my system.

Thankfully I am quite regular - 28 days - and have not been on the pill for years as they didnt agree with me.

I had a bit of a worry years and years ago (when I don't think you appreciate having babies) when I didn't have a period for 10 months. It was basically stress and losing weight that caused it but it makes me worry now. I had to go in for tests and they didn't find anything other than an upside down womb (which can correct itself) but it's always in the back of my mind that some damage may have happened to my body back then.

Hi @Vil10 and welcome.

Which OPKs do you use? Shall I just look on amazon!?

It's great that you feel ready. It really doesn't matter about age - it's how you feel in life. I thought I should wait until marriage and due to reasons like buying a house and now doing an extension (which is possibly going to be v stressful if PG!) I've decided to try earlier as marriage just isn't next on the list!

Good luck on your journey TTC X

@Rocky89 think we both need to make the most of the time with our men at the moment! 😂 aren't they lucky?!

I do admin for a nursery. Following the announcement last week we are open to all children from 1st June. I'm not sure if I'll be taken off furlough and if I am whether I'm WFH or having to go in. Hopefully know more next week. Xxx

@Vil10 hello! I only joined this thread yesterday and love it already. Everyone is so supportive. It's lovely to hear your story. Everyone's life experiences are different so only they will know when they are ready and it's a great feeling when you know you are. Fingers crossed for a BFP soon! Xxx