Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Since my last loss my cycle has been a bit off @Mumlili9, my luteal phase has been 12 days, so come on 13dpo. But the last 2 cycles I've come on at 15dpo, I've also had a temp drop and not started af straight away and last cycle my temperature was still above cover line for a couple of days but af arrived. Are you going to test or just wait for af? Do you have sign of coming on? X

I measured BBT for the first time this cycle and didn’t get a cover line on my chart (on Glow app). @VenusStarr - does it work if you take your temp at the same phase in the waking up process, whatever the time? Or does it have to be the same time every day? Alarms have gone out the window now there’s no commuting!

I had a positive pregnancy test this morning but too faint for 14/15 dpo so I can already tell it’s going to be another chemical pregnancy. Thinking of stopping trying until I get a date for my operation and can see the doctor. At the moment I’m just clocking up more miscarriages (this will be no. 7) and not able to do anything (e.g. operation, heparin, intralipids, steroids) that might make a difference.

Oh I am sorry @FloDaffodil ❤️ I've never used that app - does it give a coverline? I know ovia doesn't, so I prefer fertility friend.

I think ideally the same time each day, but if you've had 3 hours+ it should be the consistent. What operation are you waiting for? It's a really tough decision to stop but it's also hard to keep going. Sending you a big hug xxx

@FloDaffodil I'm so sorry. I know that feeling all to well hun.
@VenusStarr yep she came this morning, oddly my temp went back up to 36.42 though, so I tested and bfn. Really gutted this never happens. Ironically though it makes this cycle 1 day shorter than my usual even though I got a later ovulation. I'm at a loss I don't know what to think. We also had sex last night I wonder if that started things off early

So sorry @FloDaffodil it’s so hard and unfair

Sorry AF arrived @Mumlili9

Hope you’re holding up ok @peperethecat having some wine this weekend sounds like a good plan.

So I’ve finally got a bit of progress on the OP sticks , the bottom two I did today. The second from bottom was at lunchtime and the bottom one late afternoon but I think I drank too much (water!) probably before doing it so wee wasn’t that concentrated. I think the second from bottom looks almost as dark as the control line? But what’s throwing me is I had several days of EWCM which have been and gone 4/5 days ago?!

I'm sorry to hear af arrived @Mumlili9 ❤️❤️ strange how your temp went up, I would've tested too. How are you feeling?

@marmitecheesetoast good news on your opks :) I had some ewcm on cd 8 but ended up ovulating on cd 13. I actually had some stickier ewcm yesterday and quite a big temp drop but it's back up today. I did an opk just in case it was late ovulation, but stark white.

How are you @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow?

Hope you had a nice time with your friends @peperethecat, not long for you to wait now. Hope you're doing OK xx

Sorry I didn't come on yesterday, spent the whole day painting our garden fences and dh stained the decking, it's looking so nice now. It's been a really good distraction for me, especially as I'm growing some herbs and flowers too :)

@marmitecheesetoast Good luck for this cycle

@Mumlili9 I’m sorry AF came

@FloDaffodil I’m sorry this is so tough

@VenusStarr Don’t apologise. Sounds like you had a nice day and not being on here can be a good thing!

AF has arrived for me today exactly on schedule according to Ovia. I thought it had arrived the other day but was actually still spotting I think 🤷‍♀️

I have had an unusual cycle as 4 days of spotting immediately before today and the PMT started round about then and I feel like I still have it! But was 29 days as predicted by Ovia.

DH is in bad mood and has had a go at me about something and I’ve just burst into tears because I already woke up feeling like shit (hormonal), then saw AF (I was still a bit hopeful to the point that I was nervous about having a bath last night in case it was too hot!) and I’m so emotional. I can’t concentrate on work when I feel like this.

Speaking to my GP again today (one who has previously been helpful) about the severe PMT, spotting before AF and TTC as it’s been over 12 months now and I’m 36.

Have a nice day everyone

@VenusStarr. Tbh I'm really low right now. I can't understand what is going on. My cycles are all over place, my periods are so light their not worth having. Getting pregnant was never an issue before the ectopic but now I'm doing everything right and nothing is happening. I'm 39 in September and I'm no where near where I wanted to be in my life. I am deeply fearful that I'll never have a baby now but also I can't see a life with out one. It's so unfair. I'm waiting any day for the phone call from my bf to tell me of the safe arrival of her 8th child and I'm happy she is happy but also extremely jealous

I spoke to my GP. She’s lovely. But I found out that they wouldn’t give us IVF or fertility help behind blood tests because DH has older children even though I don’t have any. I am really shocked at that but it’s good I know.

@Mumlili9 I’m sorry you feel this way. Our journeys have been a little different but I completely relate to what you say. I feel exactly the same. I feel pretty hopeless tbh.

Yeah it's really unfair @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow. Someone I know has posted on Facebook about having lost several pregnancies and not being able to conceive without IVF. I haven't asked her about the details but I'm guessing she's probably lost both tubes to ectopics. Anyway, her boyfriend has a daughter with his ex wife who left him when she was three months pregnant, so he's never had that experience of properly bringing up his daughter because he's never lived with her (he wasn't present for the birth or even one of the first to hear about it, he had no say in his daughter's name, he's had to fight for regular contact with her, he can't get his daughter vaccinated because his ex wife is a mad hippy who doesn't believe in it etc.) and I guess now he will never have any more children because his new partner can't conceive without IVF and because he already has a child they're not entitled to help.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm out this cycle. I feel really disappointed but trying to put a brave face on things.

@peperethecat It’s rubbish. I’m shocked. I kind of get it from the boyfriend’s point of view as, regardless of circumstances, he had a child with that woman. But I feel for for his current partner she doesn’t. I get that there needs to be limits but everyone who hasn’t has a child should be entitled to help. Otherwise they are now making four people (me, DH, his ex and her partner) ineligible for IVF based on two of them having children.

Forgive me if I am showing my bias there as I feel the injustice that even my DH has two children, also not in circumstances he would have chosen, but my only child is at the local cemetery and I don’t know if I’ll have more.

I’m sorry you are not hopeful. Have you tested again! AF hit me hard today as I was hopeful and then hearing that didn’t go down well when I’m hormonal.

My tests are positive and I'm due a blood test tomorrow but I had one on Saturday and my HCG was only 33 (at what was probably 12 DPO) and the lines on my tests just haven't changed at all since Wednesday. If my HCG was rising the tests should be getting darker by now. But I don't get why it isn't rising or falling. It's a total head fuck.

I'm sorry AF got you. What is your plan for the next cycle? Are you on any medication at all or just keeping on trying the normal way? It really sucks that they won't give you any help.

@peperethecat It’s tough not knowing. I’m sorry I can’t help more but I don’t know enough about it. It sounds like there is still hope but I know the hope doesn’t help if you don’t get the outcome you want.

GP said I can go in for blood tests any time and she’ll test hormone levels etc. She did also say that she has no reason to think I can’t have a child naturally (we discussed spotting and she said it sounds normal) and that I have time so I’m hoping we don’t need IVF but there are no guarantees

I also received news today that someone I used to work with died at the weekend. He had children and his wife was our friend too although we haven’t spoken for a while. I’m not sure what happened but it helps to put things into perspective.

Re blood tests not sure whether to go in now or wait bit she said between days 2 and 5 which is this week!

Hi everyone, would you mind if I joined? I've just had my third mc in six months and feeling pretty rubbish. I'm finding it hard to talk about in RL with people who don't really 'get' it...

A bit about me - 36, 1 DS, ttc #2, MC Dec 2019, MC April, chemical May (just about finished).

GP has referred me to St Mary's Paddington but said it could be ages before they can see me. So now I don't know whether to try again (given I seem to get pregnant quickly) or wait if it may well go wrong again.

Thanks for kind messages everyone and sorry you’re all having a tough time too.

@Ally19 - sorry, it’s really rubbish. To give you an idea on timings, my GP referred me to St Mary’s last year and it took about four months to get an appointment. I think they’re completely shut down at the moment and will have a big back log so likely to be a longer wait now unfortunately. It’s definitely worth it though. I thought I’d already had every possible investigation for recurrent miscarriage that existed but they did a new blood test called a thromboelastogram and recommended surgery for a small septum in my uterus which I’d previously been told not to worry about by two other consultants. Your GP should be able to look up the St Mary’s pathway on their system and (if GP surgery open) order a load of blood tests if you haven’t had them done already so you can go to St Mary’s with results in hand.

Welcome @Ally19 I'm sorry for your losses ❤️ its very personal, we stopped ttc for a while but have restarted - as @FloDaffodil said it can be a long wait. I was lucky that I got a cancellation in October, but it was a 4 month wait originally. All my initial tests are fine (I'm at Tommy's Birmingham), so we looked into nk cells testing, again one biopsy was normal, waiting for the clinic to reopen to do the follow up. My gut feeling (for me) is that we just have to keep going - but we struggled to conceive initially, so we're also on the ivf waiting list.

@peperethecat how are you? You've done well to get through this horrible limbo period. I hope today brings you some clarity. Have you tested since your blood test?

How are you doing @FloDaffodil?

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow glad your GP is supportive - I remember going for my cd1-5 tests about cd3 I think. Are you having the cd21 test too? Just remember that it should be done 7 days before you expect af to arrive. I had mine done on cd19 and it confirmed ovulation. Hopefully you won't need to go down the ivf route (don't get me started on the 'rules'! - we get one fresh round, whereas people who live in a more affluent area, but referred to the same hospital get 2 rounds, plus frozen transfers. I know we're 'lucky' as some get none at all. It is unfair for everyone, for lots of different reasons)

Hope you're OK @Mumlili9 ❤️

I'm 8dpo and impatiently waiting... 🙄 Had really bad period cramps yesterday and felt like I was about to come on, obviously my mind jumped to implantation. My temperature is also back up after my big dip at 6dpo. Honestly my mind is in overdrive, trying to distract myself as much as possible.

@VenusStarr Thanks for your reply. I’m going in tomorrow which will be CD3 although last cycle has been a weird cycle, not sure if that matters. She didn’t say anything about CD21 just said book in bloods. She didn’t even mention cycle until I asked if I should go at a particular time of the month. She said to book in an appointment about 10 days latter which would be CD13 so I can see if she suggests another test then.

I might track this month using Clear Blue too as I haven’t done that for a while and that might give me a bit of insight.

Sounds like you have some positive signs. I know how agonising the wait is especially when you are hopeful🤞

@VenusStarr Lovely, that sounds like a nice place to walk. I’m in London but in a very green area with loads of huge parks with ducks. Have to drive a bit to get to some but trying to do different ones just to vary it a little. I’ve been following the rules of lockdown so all I do is go to parks. Would be better if people would move away and not take up the walkways!

Oh no sorry that it’s another chemical @FloDaffodil

@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow That is so unfair. Having step kids is irrelevant to you as of course you want and deserve your own. Hopefully it won’t be that serious, if anything at all, for you though.

It’s good that she reassured you about the spotting. It’s been 8 days since I started bleeding but this has been exactly the same as my usual periods in terms of amount and cramps. The spotting makes me have long periods lol!

Hi All,
Stumbled across whilst googling. Hope you don't mind me joining.

Just recovering from my 2nd ERCP, I had last week for a missed miscarriage.

I've now had an ectopic pregnancy treated with methotrexate and 2mmc, found around 8-9 weeks and baby had stopped around 6-7 each time. This has been over the last 4 years. No successful pregnancies yet :(

I'm finding it so hard that because its not my 3rd mmc they are unwilling to investigate.
I'm 32 in a few weeks, DH is 38. I just feel time is against us....and well that the world is against us atm.
It breaks DHs heart each loss, which in turn hurts me more, as soon as able(week or 2) we will be trying again...
I am worried I will become numb to a positive pregnancy test, worried that 8 week scan will be bad news again...

Anyone gone through similar? I am right in thinking we are just as at risk next time of it being unsuccessful aren't I?

@VenusStarr I'm OK hun feeling very bleak about our future right now. I'm 39 and this year and next are our last ditch attempts after that I'm not sure we should continue trying. I'm have another extremely light AF and it cd 3 and it's practically stopped just that horrible brown stuff now. I've no idea why my AF arrived on 12dpo it's never come that early before. On the plus side it seems you have some promising signs 🤞

Thanks for your messages, and I should have said before how sorry I am to hear about what you're going through. No one wants to be on this board I guess!

@FloDaffodil thanks for the tip on the blood tests, will follow that up.

@VenusStarr yeah I think you're right - waiting four months (at best!) for tests which may be inconclusive is probably not worth hanging about for. DH is keen to try again straight away...

@mrsevo88 welcome and sorry to hear about your losses. I also feel like getting a positive pregnancy test would just put me into a tailspin of anxiety. I'm a sucker for statistics (eg this time I have a 25% chance of another loss, or whatever) but that doesn't really help when I end up on the wrong side of those stats. That sucks that they won't refer you because the ectopic isn't counted as a MC - so unfair.

@Mumlili9 so sorry to hear you are feeling down. Fingers crossed for you.

I've just read a post on face book about treating covid with asprin according to Italy. So if you take asprin for fertility it might be worth stocking up a bit just incase. I don't know how true this info is but I'm going to get a few boxes tomorrow just in case, either way I use them up anyway.