Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

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That's beautiful @KerryW87 💕 I agree with Alice, spend a bit of time preparing but spend the rest of the time chilling :)

@Mumlili9 sorry you're thinking of stopping, I'm with the nhs and by no means would I say carry on ttc regardless, but I wouldn't worry too much about the probation period. But if you waited until that period was up, you'd be entitled to paid maternity leave. Equally, it doesn't sound like you've come to that decision lightly and if stopping is the right thing for you right now, then that's the right thing 🌟 I'm so pleased you're leaving your current job and your horrible boss ❤️ any idea of your start date?

@AliceinBunnyland How's things with you? I saw you're looking for a rescue bunny, have you been to look yet? Sending you lots of love

Hope you're well @Kiki275

I've been so uncomfortable - think I ovulated yesterday and we have ttc. Making me a bit worried when we actually start and I have a few more eggs due to the drugs (they said they would think I'd get 6-8 eggs on the ivf cycle). I could barely bend over and if I'm that bad with an egg on each ovary, what will I be like with more! I just want to feel like we've definitely given ourselves a chance before going down the ivf route.

I'm really struggling with motivation at work at the moment, only really doing the minimum but trying not to be hard on myself for that.

Have a good day everyone xx

@VenusStarr I did, we have two in service days to get organised but I cleaned and tidied the whole house yesterday and sorted out work clothes etc for Monday and did a shop, so looking forward to a wee chill weekend now :)

Ahh really? That's a shame :/ I hope it isn't much more uncomfortable if/when you start on IVF, did they say it could be quite painful? Definitely, can understand that and you never know...I'll keep my fingers crossed that this could be your cycle! 💕🤞

Absolutely don't be hard on yourself, you're getting up and working in spite of everything you've got going on and that's to be applauded, just do however much you can and be good to yourself ❤️ Saw in your post you're with the NHS, have you been working from home at all the past while or have you been in?

My lochia stopped a few days ago, feeling silly to think maybe I'll ovulate this cycle so trying to get it out of my head...hard to, though! x

I hope you're ok @VenusStarr

I got two baby girl bunnies from pets @ home yesterday. They sometimes get unwanted rabbits, usually older, so I've been calling the local stores in search of a girl for my boy. They had two baby girls and they seem perfect for us. We have the advantage of rehoming the unwanted buns (which brings with it help with it help with vet bills to get them spayed and vaccinated) but they are also babies which is a bonus so we are both a bit loved up with the bunnies.

I'm so glad it's the weekend as I can barely concentrate on work!

Aw, glad you got 2 bunnies @AliceinBunnyland 🥰

Thank you @KerryW87 they didn't say much about discomfort, but the nurse did mention me having mood swings on the meds, which dh can't wait for! 😂
I'm luckily working from home and dh is on furlough until October, so timing wise for the ivf it's really good as he'll be with me to take me to appointments and I've asked him to do my injections - I'm just not sure I can do it.
It's really hard to not think about what cycle day it is and whether our bodies are doing what we think they should xx

Orchid update, I've got 3 flowers now and another 2 buds ready to pop! They're giving me a lot of pleasure :)

Sorry I haven't caught up with all your news but I don't know where else to post as I've not got into a pregnancy thread yet as I don't feel ready for them. Like I don't belong until I get past that first trimester. Im 9+5 today but not sure I'll get to double figures.

I have a feeling I will be back here with you soon. Hopefully I'm wrong but I'm not too good at hopeful anymore. 4 pregnancies so far and nothing but grief to show for it, that and getting fatter.

Sorry for the tmi that follows. About 10.30 this morning I went to the loo to find I was bleeding. You know that 'I'm just coming on' red and cover the tissue type? I'm wearing a pad and theres nothing on it yet but I'm not moving about much. Still there when I wipe though. Nothing major cramp wise but slightly uncomfortable so far. I've rung epu but unless I'm bleeding heavily or in pain they can't see me because of covid. The nurse on the phone seemed very apologetic. I explained this was the week my baby died last time and it wasn't picked up until my 12 week scan. She basically said if the bleeding tails off I have to wait for that routine scan anyway to see what is going on.

Not sure why I'm posting but I'm just so upset with it all. Wondering why I thought my body could do this right in the first place, it never has in the past.

Oh @Esssa I am so sorry you're going through this worry ❤️ is it possible to get a private scan? If not, I'd be tempted to say that the bleeding is heavier. I don't think waiting over 3 weeks will be good for your mental health.
We're here, you're not alone xxxx ❤️

Hi @Esssa, I know we haven't spoken on this yet, but I'm so sorry to hear this, what a worry considering what you've been through. I'm with @VenusStarr on this one, I'd be tempted to phone and say it's heavier. Several weeks is far too long to wait for peace of mind. Thinking of you ❤️ xx

Thank you ladies I'm just so frustrated and upset. If I at least knew what was going on I could start to deal with it. Thought I'd found a slot for tomorrow at window to the womb but it had gone when I went to book it so nothing until mid next week now. Think I will have to talk to epu again but it feels like tempting fate to lie and say its worse.

I understand that @Esssa, maybe you could get a GP appointment on Monday, I know they can sometimes book epu scans.

With my first I went to A+E and they referred me to the epu. I hope it's nothing sinister, keep talking here if it helps xx

Managed to book one for Monday evening. Should be 10 weeks then. They only do abdominal and I'm fat so I hope they can see well enough. Otherwise I'll be back to pestering epu I guess. Fingers crossed the bleeding stays gone as it seems to have stopped for now. The remnants of the bleed have turned brown then nearly gone altogether. My stomach is uncomfortable though, I'm just not sure if its normal uncomfortable or bad uncomfortable. Is it 3/4 of bleeds in pregnancy are nothing to worry about? Seems a big chunk that are when we fell in the 1% with mmc last time.

@Esssa I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I bled pretty much continuously with my last pregnancy from 12 weeks. It's a major worry. Every time I went in, they couldn't see a cause but unless you're soaking through two pads an hour it's not really considered that heavy. Other ladies in my group had fibroids which also caused bleeding, again nothing too serious. Fingers crossed for you x

I'm glad you've managed to get a scan @Esssa I'll be thinking of you 💜

Epu open at 8.30 so I think I'm going to ring them. The anxiety of it all is driving me crazy. No more blood except a bit of brown when I had to poop but I expected that. I still feel sore and can't get comfortable so may play the up a little if the anxiety doesn't get me seen. Even then there's no guarantee it'd be today.

I'm glad they're open today @Esssa, I hope that you can be seen - just seen the time, did you get through?

Haven't rung yet. Oh thinks I should wait for the scan tomorrow. Don't know what to do.

I think if it's consuming you, make the call. They might not be able to scan you any earlier, but sharing how anxious this is making you feel might help @Esssa I know when I'm anxious I can't make decisions, if it was me, I'd call xx

@Esssa I'd make the call. Even if the can't scan you, they'll likely do an internal and check your cervix, do a urine sample etc. Even that is reassuring and will give a positive focus x

@Esssa are you okay?xx

As good as can be expected I think. Didn't ring in the end. I fell asleep and there wasn't much point ringing by the time I woke up. At least I got some sleep though, its been a bit hit and miss lately. No more bleeding, just some discomfort that occasionally twinges into ouch territory.

Scan is booked for tomorrow evening and I'm not sure what result will make me cry more. Probably if everything is as it should be. I'm kind of resigned to it being over. I know how that version goes. Karma really because every time one of the ladies in the fb group sadly dropped out I thought that's one more for the statistics, maybe it won't be me this time. Which is awful of me. Thanks for checking on me @Kiki275 not that it feels like I deserve it after that.

@Esssa you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel emotions. On the flip side, you weren't wishing it on them, you were just glad it wasn't you. Please don't be so hard on yourself.xx

I hope you're okay @Essa Don't be sorry hard on yourself 🤞

Still hanging in there. Sleeping not going too well. I just want to get today over with. Super pessimistic atm. This bleed was worse than last pregnancy so it clearly can't be good news is how my brain is progressing it so far.

@Esssa massive hand hold! It definitely doesn't mean bad news but after what you've been through I'm not surprised you're taking it that way. You're mentally preparing yourself. As I mentioned, I had a bleed at 12 weeks which they put down to the placenta bedding in. There was an obvious pocket of blood which made its way out over the next few weeks. The internal at EPU prior to that scan suggested it could have been uterine lining that was forming outside of the uterus. There are so many could be's, I hope you get your answer x

Sorry @Esssa, the weekend totally got away from me but I'm thinking of you today 💕💕 How are you feeling this morning? xx

Thinking of you @Esssa 💕