Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Hi everyone,

tentatively joining this thread if that's okay. I lost my twin boys at 22wks on 18th March. Their due date was Monday and I should be/have ovulated this week. I feel like it's a sign or fate, so truly hope I'm not disappointed. TWW has begun x

@KerryW87 I know the desire to try again is strong but please don't rush until you are 100% ready both physically and mentally. I know I have found waiting just a month longer has hugely increased my confidence, although I'm aware I'll be terribly anxious, when I've been one of the most chilled out pregnant people in existence previously. I try not to look at any future children as replacements, as they will all fill an equal sized space in my heart and memory. Room doesn't need to be made for another to fill xx

@Kiki275 Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ It must be incredibly difficult when the due date passes, but I hope that you're right and perhaps it is a sign. I'll keep everything crossed for you.

Thank you so much, I know you're likely right. You just feel as though you've lost all that hope and happiness and you're sort of desperately trying to look forward to a time when you'll feel that again - but perhaps part of that doesn't come from another pregnancy but just from healing. Just very up and down since it's happened, partner keeps reminding me it's only just been a week. If you don't mind me asking, did your cycles return to how they typically were before? Thanks so much for your message x

@KerryW87 of course I don't mind. Before I had my DS they were 29 days, then when they returned after BF they were 27-28 days. After having the twins, I had 6 weeks of lochia and have since had 3 periods at 2x 24 days and 1 at 26 days. I think what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure they're typical (as I don't know what that is any more) but they are frequent if that makes sense x

Welcome @KerryW87 I am so sorry about your baby boy 💙 I'm glad you were signposted to this thread, its been so helpful for me to connect with others, sending you lots of love xx

Welcome @Kiki275, I'm sorry to hear about your twin boys 💙💙 I find milestones like due dates difficult, lots of love to you xx

I hope you're both getting support. I've just started counselling and it's made me realise that I haven't really processed my losses (3 first trimester losses). I had a session yesterday and a lot of emotions came flowing out. I feel like I've not cried that that for a long time (I was quite numb and then angry after my last loss).

Sorry @Mumlili9 and @AliceinBunnyland for being quieter this week. Truth is I'm struggling. I don't think this cycle has worked out and the realisation is hard.
How are you doing @Mumlili9, those flowers are beautiful xx
Hope you're doing well @AliceinBunnyland - I think our post is really delayed, I haven't recieved the opks yet, but thank you for sending them xx

Sorry you lost your babies @Kiki275 @KerryW87 This is a really supportive group.

You don't need to apologise @VenusStarr but I have thought about you this week. I'm sorry you're struggling. It's becoming difficult for me too to deal with the disappointment each cycle. We're here if you need us but don't feel bad if you need time away from the thread.

I do hope the parcel reaches you x

Hi ladies. Hope you don't mind me posting here. A couple of you will probably remember me from when I joined the huddle in July 2018 after my first loss (conceived after 5 years TTC and unexplained infertility) and then when I had my second loss in November 2018. It was the darkest time of my life and I felt so inadequate and hated myself. Anyway, whilst posting on the miscarriage board feeling so low a lovely kind MN'er sent me 2 books for nothing on the proviso that I pay forward the good deed if/when I have my rainbow 🌈

The 2 books are:
Taking Charge of your Fertility
Is Your Body Baby Friendly?

So, as promised to the kind MN'er, I just wanted to offer these to whoever would like them. No cost to you, just a promise you'll do the same when you have your rainbow. If you'd like them please PM me and I'll get them posted out to you (first come first served).

Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping you all get your rainbows 🌈 in 2021 x

@AliceinBunnyland Thank you so much, I know it's early days for me but I want to feel hopeful and try to look forward to my body getting back to normal and having a happier outcome in the future. I can't stop thinking that my partner's first experience in the labour ward was that one...I so hope to give him a happy one one day. This group seems really supportive and informative too, thanks for replying 🙂 ❤️

@VenusStarr Thank you so much, I think having others who understand how I feel and being able to relate to others will really help me. I am so sorry for your losses ❤️ How incredibly difficult this must be for you. I'm sorry to hear you've had a hard time recently, I really hope counselling helps you process your losses and your emotions surrounding them. Sending you lots of love too xx

@KerryW87 It's tough. I lost my baby at 40 weeks, my first baby, so I had a pretty traumatic first birth story too but I'm hopeful for the future 🌈 This really is a lovely group 😊

@InDreamland I have NC but I remember you! I take this to mean m everything has gone well for you and I'm so pleased 💗xx

@AliceinBunnyland yes and thank you. It took 6 years and 9 months in total of TTC but we got there in the end. So sorry to see you're still on here. I wish this thread didn't need to exist. I'm going you and everyone on here gets your much wanted 🌈

*hoping not going

@AliceinBunnyland I'm so sorry to hear that. Please don't be too upset as there's still time yet. I know it's really easy for me to say and there aren't many words that will help. Massive hugs xx

Thanks @Kiki275 💗 I'm actually 10 DPO 😩 Im a bit fed up. I lost my first baby at 40 weeks in Feb last year and then had the miscarriage in July. It's nearly a year that we've been TTC again and I worry it isn't happening. I think I'm going to book us in for fertility testing as at least I'm doing something. I hope you're ok xx

@AliceinBunnyland that's a positive step and will give something to focus on, I hope they have something that will help you.
I'm okay, just questioning whether my DH actually wants another DC or whether he's going along with it to keep me happy. He's a farmer so he doesn't have much input/time for our toddler as it is and there are increasingly more times when I'm struggling to cope. Our house is about to be totally refurbished too, so we'll be moving into a static at some point. Fun times!

Hi everyone, I didn't see your message earlier @AliceinBunnyland but hope everything is OK as they're gone now? ❤️ I think booking in for the fertility tests is a good idea, I definitely feel better when I'm doing things, rather than just ttc on our own and hoping.

@Kiki275 how are you?

@Mumlili9 how are you getting on, did af arrive, you said your luteal phase was long this cycle.

My temps are still high, but I stopped the cyclogest on Friday as had a bfn and have been cramping today and started spotting at 14dpo. I'm feeling OK, surprisingly. I think deep down I knew, so all my emotions came out earlier in the week.

I can't remember if I updated, but I chased the fertility clinic this week and things hopefully will be moving forward - I'm being prioritised due to my age... I had a message to say that I'll be booked in for my baseline scan and consultation on my next cycle!! And there's no waiting list, so due to my short cycles I'll be hopefully starting towards the end of August. Crazy. So, I'm seeing this af as a means to an end. I'm not sure we'll ttc this cycle, but not prevent, but then I don't want to miss taking the progesterone in case I am pregnant... But I feel like I could do with a break from it and focus on the ivf. I've got a few days to decide anyway. Sorry, rambling now, but feeling happy that we are able to try ivf with our nhs funding. Hoping it brings us our rainbow 🌈 xx

@InDreamland hello lovely nice to hear from you. What a wonderful idea. If you still have then I'm up for a read. I've been on this support group forever and any help is welcomed, you may remember me as lilimum7 or 8 . Its been I hard struggle since November 2019 with more losses and an exploding ectopic with tube removal. But alas I'm still here.
@venusstarr yeah I'm cd 5 now , it was a pathetic period after all lasted just 36 hours of very light bleeding and 3 days of brown spotting. I think we might be in the same boat emotionally. I'm really starting to lose hope. Also not eligible for IVF or IUI on NHS due to Age. I can't afford private so I'll keep struggling on. Great news about the speed of your treatment and truly hoping this is your happy ending in sight.
@AliceinBunnyland sorry I went quiet licking my wounds. I totally understand wear you are in terms of disappointment every cycle, it's just do bloody unfair.

@Kiki275 @KerryW87 welcome and so very sorry for your losses. Hope you gain the support you need. As a very long standing member of this huddle please feel free to pm me if you like I'm always around for a chat or rant which ever is most appropriate. Goodness knows I'm not going anywhere anytime soon x

@venusstarr yeah very strange cycle. A temp spike before a peak opk then funky temps all two and a stupid light AF. Not sure what to make of it all. I'm about really to give up 😢. I just can't trust my body, bbt or opks any more.

@VenusStarr I was having technical issues but basically tested today and got a BFN at 10DPO. I was a bit hopeful as I've had some (tmi) constipation and sore boobs but then I kid myself so often... It can be disheartening so I felt a bit shit for about half an hour then forced myself to be positive and actually got up in a much better mood. I hope you're ok. It's good you have IVF on the horizon.
Hope you're ok @Mumlili9 and everyone else x

@Mumlili9 yes I remember you. Saw your username yesterday when I posted and thought it was you with a NC. I'll PM you as got 1 book still available. So sorry about the ectopic and that you're still here. That must have been so scary.

@Mumlili9 I'm sorry you've been here for so long. Thank you for your kind offer 🥰 x

Hi, wondering if anyone can help?

I gave birth to my wee boy 8 days ago, at 18 weeks. I lost a litre of blood during labour (they think possible placental abruption) but a couple of days after labour, the bleeding had entirely stopped which was good.

Two days ago, bleeding started again but seems more consistent with what a period would be like. However, I'm thinking that isn't possible as there would be no womb lining left and it's only been a week since giving birth?

I've been really anxious to know that I still "work" and wanted to see when my cycles would resume normally, and so this bleeding is confusing me.

Can anyone who had a loss and had to labour remember their situation re. bleeding? Can't find any info on it online to see if it's quite normal or a bit odd.

Thanks so much, hope you're all doing well ❤️ xx

@KerryW87 after my boys, I had 6 weeks of lochia, however it did stop a couple of times for a day or two. It was a bit later on for me, so after 4 weeks I thought Yay! it's stopped and then I started what I thought would be my period, only for that to stop & start again. My periods have been completely different in flow & length since then to pre-twins but they are happening. Just keep a note of anything and if you have any concerns, can you speak to your bereavement midwife or GP?x

It seems like we are having a crappy time at the moment . Sending everyone that needs it a big hug. Sorry I can’t be any help about the bleeding . I am finally going through my miscarriage after waiting 3 weeks from the scan. Just eating crappy food because why an earth not ! X

@Kiki275 Thanks so much, ah I wonder if this might be something similar then. I'm not sure, I didn't know if I'd still be under their care, so to speak? My partner did suggest phoning the bereavement team but wasn't sure that was allowed once you'd left hospital etc. Maybe I'll phone - we're both so anxious to be able to try again so would be nice to know what to expect re. recovery times. Thanks ❤️ Hope you're well!