Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Sorry you find yourself here @Owl94

How are you @Mumlili9 @VenusStarr @marmitecheesetoast?

I was supposed to start testing with CB this morning (I'm on day 7) - is it worth testing later (obviously not FMU) or would you just start tomorrow? I don't want to end up not getting a peak because I missed the first day but maybe one day won't make a difference?

Also mini-rant: frienf I met through Sands and is pregnant mentions scans or midwife appointments every time I talk to her. When she told me she's pregnant she did say she understands if I don't want to keep in touch etc and I said of course I do (she isn't a close friend btw, we started talking about a month before that) but I thought it would go without saying that I don't want to hear about scans etc. She took 1.5 years to get pregnant the first time and then lost her DD so she understands and I'm surprised she would just keep mentioning it. Literally any time I message her she mentions being pregnant. I messaged her today about something unrelated and the response was that she's nervous about her scan tomorrow I think I'm just not going to message her after today and no doubt I'll get an announcement message in a few months...

@AliceinBunnyland I'm sorry your friend is being unsupportive, I have a friend just like her too and it stings doesn't it.

@venusstarr well this chart has me baffled. We dtd this morning anyway just it case but never have I had a positive opk and ovulated the same day. I hope this temp is a fluke but it seems like a really good jump . I usually have a low rise and I'm never sure 100% when I ovulated but this was so quick I'm not sure we will have caught it. What do you think. So you know we dtd around 3am when DH gets in from work, but I take my temp at 7am.

@venusstarr oh yeah I'm also getting blazing positive opks. Taken at 7.15am and just now at 11.30. I'm so confused. I can't explain the temp rise. I'm definitely not sick either.

Hey everyone

Like the name change @AliceinBunnyland :) I've never used the CB kits, I'd say go tomorrow rather than doing it late today.
That's really frustrating with your friend, I'm sorry that she's doing that. I struggle to articulate this but sometimes I find that sometimes when someone is pregnant after infertility or loss they just seem to become so absorbed in it that they become massively insensitive. I see it a lot on Instagram and its really hard.

I'm so sorry for your loss @Owl94 that sounds really difficult. Welcome to the group 🧡

@Mumlili9 glad you got some action in 😊 fingers crossed with the timing and your good side! 🤞

@marmitecheesetoast hope you're doing OK

What was the deleted message??

Good news from my ccg - has a nice email to say they're on it with the transfer of care. The person who emailed was lovely too. Fingers crossed we hear from the clinic soon. Starting smep today, wish me luck! 😂

Timing is spot on then @Mumlili9!! Hopefully your dh will want to keep trying. I usually ovulate the same day as a positive opk but last month it was the day after (but we weren't trying anyway)

@AliceinBunnyland unless your like me this cycle (no idea what's with that this cycle) I don't think one day will matter. If you've used the stick before it will already know your baseline. Always use the same stick until the batt run out. If you have opk strips they are used in the afternoon anyway. Fx for that peak hun

Hmm, missed your chart pic @Mumlili9 a bit of a strange one but maybe you did ovulate. The rise is good 🤞 the egg loves for 24 hours so if you've dtd and maybe later you've time it well :)

@VenusStarr oh really, it's never happened to me before. I'm worried how early it is again though. I've been getting to cd14 the last few cycles which I was happy with. Oh well nothing I can do now except wait 🥴

@venusstarr good luck with smep. And great ness about your email and if this smep doesn't work you'll at least have the ivf in place now - exciting times.

Just to reassure you with ovulating early - my sister has 2 children, one concieved on by ovulating on cd9. And one cd10

It's hard having to wait for it to be confirmed by FF but you're in with a chance :)

Welcome @Owl94 and sorry you find yourself here. That sounds awful I’m sorry.

So glad your OH has got in on the game in time @Mumlili9 Did you take your temp at the usual time? Those OPKs are really blazing strong so I’d say keep on with it and I think you’ve timed it perfectly! 🤞🏻

Great news about the email @VenusStarr must feel really positive that things are happening. Good luck on the smep this cycle too!

@AliceinBunnyland sorry about your friend that sounds difficult. It sounds as though easing off on communicating is a good idea, you’ve got to look after yourself. I wonder if the anxiety of PAL just makes it all consuming? You’d think she’d be more sensitive though.

I’m ok. Really struggling with exhaustion at the moment. I’m pinning that on grief rather than a possible early pregnancy symptom though 😂 I keep googling and finding myself reading medical journals about hypocoiled cords and cord accidents 😔 Trying not to fall too far down the rabbit hole until after second consultation next month.

8dpo over here ho hum... feeling impatient. I know we’ve got a really good chance from our timing this cycle and gave it a really good go but have already convinced myself it won’t have happened. I guess it’s self preservation. But DH keeps getting excited and asking if I’m having any symptoms. I’ve tried to tell him I really don’t want to symptom check or get our hopes up being too positive but then that just sounds really negative. It’s hard to find a balance isn’t it.

@marmitecheesetoast thanks, I know what you mean about being negative its truly hard
@venusstarr that's positive about your sister. I fear mostly because my two longest pregnancies were cd9 and 10 ovulation and they were the worst and most complicated miscarriages I've had with exception of this last one and losing my tube. I guess I'm just going to worry about every detail until I'm holding my rainbow and even then I'll have a billion new worries. It seems I'm determined to punish myself every step of the way

So really confused now because my peak is even higher now than yesterday but the temp of 36.55 was super high given the day before was 36.15. I can't get my head round it.

@VenusStarr That sounds positive 😊 Thank you! Yes I'm thinking test tomorrow.

Thanks @Mumlili9 Yes it's the same stick I used last cycle so hopefully will be ok plus it has my average cycle length set to a day less than my usual cycle length so can probably afford to lose a day IYSWIM.

@marmitecheesetoast I think it's natural you feel that way but maybe the exhaustion is a good sign. I have started feeling guilty as DH is getting into symptom spotting. Last cycle he brought me cushions up to my desk as if said I had backache or something and only later he explained it's cause he thought I might be pregnant. I have only recently realised how much it affects him and how I can get his hopes up with my symptom spotting.

I don't know whether to say something to my friend. She sent me quite a soapy message to tell me she was pregnant "I hope you don't think it's easy for me to tell you this... if you don't want to keep in touch then I understand..." and I feel like she might respond well to a similar one as it's better to be honest than ignore her. I feel like the alternative is I will end up not messaging her as every message refers somehow to her pregnancy. Then it's up to her if she wants to stop talking about pregnancy every time she messaged me or let it go. Then again is that the end of the friendship? But then I wondered had she not told many people and doesn't she have anyone to talk about it to? A good friend I met through Sands has had her rainbow baby already and we've been in touch throughout. I have never once felt she's rubbing my face in it so I know it's not just me.

Ok I give up completely. I was super excited that I was ovulating yesterday on my tube side (rightside) because I has ovulation pain on my right side now today I've hot a second stronger lh surge with pain on my tubeless side today. When will I catch a break. This ttc is soul destroying. Made even worse by not having both tubes. Sorry I'm just ranting today but I'm just so fed up of this whole journey. Why can't I just go " let's have a child" and bam pregnant with a perfect child no problems and no worries. It getting beyond difficult now to bloody impossible. The docs and google keep tell me that the right tube can flick round and pick up from the left ovary but I fail to see how that's possible with the useless remains of my left tube in the way. I'm not ever going to get ivf due to religious reasons (not mine) and my ripe old age of 39 ( where I live the cut off is 35 for NHS ). We can't adopt due to DH's lung condition, apparently we dont fit the criteria. Unless this works out for me naturally I'm never going to carry and birth a child. I wont even be able to look after nd raise someone else's child either. What the hell did I do to deserve this. Feeling so disappointed with myself and my body.

@Mumlili9 There's nothing I can really say. This journey can be soul destroying. You've had to deal with more than your fair share of obstacles in this but please don't feel defeated. You had pains in both sides so you don't know for sure which side you will ovulate from this cycle. I often think I've got ovulation pains and then have realised it's something else. We are so hypersensitive about every twinge and symptom. It's shit when you're not eligible for IVF either or one of you doesn't want to do it. I'm not eligible as my DH has children and he doesn't think he'd want us to pay for it (even though I'd be the one paying as I earn quite a bit more - so that's fair ) I'm trying not to think about that much as we might not need it. I know people who have conceived after years of trying and failed IVF. I love the Mariah and Whitney song When You Believe and it came into my mind for some reason 💗

@AliceinBunnyland thanks hope you get your rainbow soon

Oh @Mumlili9 I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. I know there’s nothing really we can say but we’re here ❤️ Rant away. It is all so very unfair. As @AliceinBunnyland says you don’t know what side you ovulated from, you can get pain in both sides as the follicles mature also I’m sure it’s possible to occasionally ovulate from both sides on the odd cycle? I think I read that somewhere anyway. It’s all a bloody sh*t show let’s be honest but we’ve got to try and hold on to hope as otherwise what else is there. Hope you are feeling maybe a little lighter this morning.

My temp dropped quite a bit on this mornings reading so feeling like I’m probably out this cycle. It’s down to what it was on day 1 of my cycle. - though that’s still highish as seemed to take a while to fully drop. But yeah doesn’t look particularly positive.

Quite a big drop

I'm sorry you're feeling this way @Mumlili9 it's really difficult to remain hopeful, especially when you've been through so much. Like the others have said, I can never be certain which side I ovulate from as I tend to get sebsayiins across the whole area. I'd try not to focus too much on that - you've dtd at the right time and your opks and temps are doing what they need to do. It sounds trite, but I'm trying to trust the process, it helps me take a but of a stand back and not get too overwhelmed ❤️

@marmitecheesetoast I wouldn't be too concerned at a 9dpo drop - you'll likely find it goes back up. It's really hard not to analyse the chart looking for clues. This is the worst bit - too early to test but getting close. Hope you're OK

Did you use the CB opk today @AliceinBunnyland?
With regards to your friend I don't know what is the right thing to do - I think that you have to protect your heart in any way that you need. It does seem that she has lost some of her sensitivity filter - or maybe it's because she feels you will understand, but it does seem one-sided from what you said that if you don't reply you're unlikely to hear from her. I'd definitely leave my reply for a few days ❤️

Just been googling how long it takes for an orchid bud to bloom... I did say to dh that I don't think he realises how much that plant is giving me hope 🌈

@VenusStarr Yes I tested this morning so think I'm on track now. I messaged friend but didn't say anything about pregnancy talk. I just talked about me and TTC and see if she engages with that! I think she will. She was trying for a while with her first (who died during birth so was stillborn like our DD) so I thought let's chat about that. Once I've said something about the pregnancy chat it can't be unsaid and I'm also conscious she told me when she was 5 weeks so she probably hasn't told many people.

But I just realised she told me yesterday her scan is today and I've messaged her about TTC (in reply to a message she sent last night). I don't want to text the scan though FFS

I love your orchid updates. I find comfort in little things in nature.

Hi all, I'm hoping I can join this thread?
I suffered a loss at 7 +2. It was my first pregnancy and we'd somehow managed to get pregnant in the first month of trying after coming off the pill.
My bleeding started and ended on 28 May till 4 June, since then I have negative tests but still haven't had any sign of AF. It's been 6 weeks from the beginning of the bleeding. The wait is destroying me, especially as everywhere on Dr Google says 4-6 weeks for the period to return.
Just wondering if anyone here experienced a longer wait for AF to return? I really want to TTC again X

So funnily enough friend wasn't as chatty once I talked about myself a bit

Sorry you find yourself here @MrsK21 but it's a lovely group

Glad you're on track @AliceinBunnyland. We've got quite a few little buds on the orchid, one bigger one and then lots of smaller ones. Can't wait to have it flower again :) I'll share a picture when it does. Glad it's giving you a lift too.
I'm sorry about your friend, its really tough, you can end up feeling used xx

I'm very sorry for your loss @MrsK21. After all my losses my periods have returned a couple of days later than I'd have expected them to but it can definitely take a while to settle. Are you ttc straight away, or waiting for your first period? X

It's not stopped raining today. I'd got into a good habit of going out for a daily walk but it's absolutely heaved down the last 2 days, I don't fancy going now, but want to get out. Hope everyone is OK xx

@VenusStarr My friend has annoyed me as she's been talking about herself and I haven't said anything. I then messaged earlier to say sorry I relayed she has her scan today and hope it went well and she responded but really vaguely and I just think I've seen another side to her if she can insensitively talk about herself but then not really engage with me.

Please do share pics of your orchids. I know what you mean about the rain. I have been less active because I just don't feel like going out in this weather.