Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@Katie1109 hello and sorry for your loss. In my experience with the meds (I had pessaries) you are basically there all day. You go in in the morning and they do all your obs and talk to you about what's going to happen, then you sign consent forms and they ask that if you pass the pregnancy / baby there, if you want cremation or to make your own arrangements. Then you are given the medication and you have to stay on ward for a minimum of 3 hours. For me I've had it 4 times and it usually starts about 41/2 hours after the meds are placed. It started with cramps and light bleeding that increased over a few hours. For me it was quite painful but for others they say it's no worse than period pain. I was very surprised the first time by how much bleeding there was but its quite normal. I did lose quite big clots but I think it depends on how far along in pregnancy you are. I experienced gushes of bleeding and clots and painful cramps until I passed the babies and placenta, then it all calmed down and was more like a period for a week. I've had erpc's as well but we were able to start trying as soon as I stopped bleeding and felt ready which was just 3 weeks after the erpc. Either way it can unsettle your cycles for a little bit or you might go straight back to normal.

I hope you're OK and remember were here for you

@Mumlili9 thank you for sharing your story with me and sorry you had to go through it x I will do whatever I can to go through it in a comfort of my own home surrounded by people who love me and not alone in the hospital 😭

@36Katie1109 I'm not sure I was clear. I left the ward and passed my baby at home. It wasn't all bad, I was with my DH and my mum. I'd choose that route again x

@Mumlili9 thank you, it was probably me misreading it, my head is all over the place x
My appointment is at 10am so I will update you lovely ladies afterwards x thank you for the much needed support x we haven’t told anyone so it’s only me and my OH in this x didn’t want to cause my parents any upset unnecessarily x

I was given mifepristone tablet there and then and pessaries to take on Friday x embryo is now only 6mm and the sac 25mm x it’s going to be tough couple of days 😭

@Katie1109 I hope you have a peaceful experience (as peaceful as possible if you know what I mean) and just know we're here to talk if you need it. I was on this thread chatting the whole time I was in hospital and the ladies were wonderful and supportive.

@Mumlili9 thank you hun x I’m feeling ok so far, it’s been an hour since the tablet x how soon am I expected to be bleeding? I was so upset there I forgot to ask questions 😔

@Katie1109 for me it took about 4 and a half hours to 5 hours each time. I don't know if they told you because they didn't tell me but it can cause vomiting and diarrhea. I'm not trying to scare you but I wish someone would have told me as I found it scary the first time. If you would like to chat privately please feel free to pm me xx

I'm new here too though I've lurked on mumsnet for a few years. I'm one of those annoying ones (so far) that get pregnant by accident but the previous ones haven't stuck. This is the first one I'm actually trying for which is scary. Hopefully pregnancy number 4 will stick around. I'm a bit older at 32 now as my last pregnancy ended in mmc nearly 2.5 years ago.

I have wanted to try again all that time but this is finally when we can go for it, in the middle of a pandemic I've had long term medication to reduce doses of and I should have done a much better job of losing some weight but I don't want to wait any longer incase we need to go again or have help.

I'm planning based on smep and have my first opk today though we did bd last night. I'm cycle day 9/27 and expecting ovulation on Sunday. Any tips for opks I've not used them before.

Focusing on getting pregnant to keep myself busy then I'm going to go back to worrying myself stupid about it going wrong again. Sorry for the long post and I'm sorry you all find yourself here too. Its shitty.

@Mumlili9 thank you x I have PM’d you x

Sorry you're going through this @Katie1109 MMCs are cruel...I had one recently too and didn’t find out until 13 weeks. In regards to TTC again, it’s the same regardless of what management option you choose. Still have to wait until the bleeding stops and at least 2 weeks before DTD. They advise to wait for your first period though.

@VenusStarr Oh no sorry you’ve had another MC. That’s good that you got good news about your IVF funding though.

I’m waiting for my 2nd AF since the MMC. I'm expecting and hoping it will arrive in about 2 weeks. Since last night, though, I’ve had a heavy feeling down below that I usually get when AF is about to come...interesting as my first just finished last week or it could be ovulation!? I'd rather AF came early than late though, so that there is no confusion about pregnancy as I certainly haven’t been preventing it lol!

I’ve read that it can take 2 months even if the 1st one came on time. Did any of you have very messed up cycles after MC? I didn’t even care about when my 1st AF would come but 2nd one is a little different for me due to using a new eczema cream for a month, that shouldn’t be used when pregnant.

Thank you @Sakura54, I'm not counting this one as a loss, I'm not 100% certain of the positives as they were blue dye ones and my period arrived on time. It's too upsetting to think it's something more. I'm taking it as a positive that the sperm likely met the egg.
You might be ovulating now? After my MMCs my cycle returned to normal straight away but after my chemical in February they've been a bit off.

@Katie1109 I hope you're OK, thinking of you ❤️

Welcome @Esssa, I'm sorry for your losses ❤️ I've done smep twice, second pregnancy it worked (but mc) then last cycle I think they did meet but af arrived on time. We'll be trying it again - much to dh's delight - not really, he hates being on a schedule, but I know it does work for us. I use cheap amazon opks, I found that testing between 2-10pm I can catch my positive. Have you started testing yet? I ovulate the same day as my positive - I temp as well to confirm.

@Mumlili9 your pre-ov temps are very stable, I hope you've seen a shift now and you're in with a shot this cycle 🤞

Hope you're OK @peperethecat, I know you've probably taken a step back for a while, but sending you best wishes xx

Thanks for the welcome @VenusStarr. I tested today and got a squinter on the opk. I'm not due to ovulate till Sunday though so I'm not concerned yet, unless you think I should be. It was about half 2 when I tested. I nearly tried again this evening but thought I'd save the sticks for when they will tell me something useful! My opks are from wilko. Not sure how good they are but I wasn't going to test and these were fairly cheap off the shelf, £1.50 for 5. Temping for the first time this cycle so not sure how much it will tell me tbh.

OH has been suprisingly obliging on the schedule idea so far. I thought we were too far out so wasn't going to bother last night but he had other ideas. Hopefully he stays obliging as usually we only dtd 2-3 times a month nevermind a week! He stays up late and then is tired. No excuses this week!

No reason to be concerned yet @Esssa, my tests suddenly get dark, some people's build over a few days. Hopefully you'll get your peak soon. If you've got amazon you can get 30 for less than £5. Glad your dh is on board. I ovulated slightly later last cycle and we'd started dtd from day 4 so it did get a bit tiring and my cycles aren't even long! 😂 I have found that following the plan and both committing to it is less stressful, although it does feel like a chore but we both just found it funny which does help get the job done 😂😂

@VenusStarr I have 10, well 9 now to get me through this month. If we need them next month I'll amazon some. Not sure I'll use them every month anyway. If I temp and watch cm I should be OK without, its more that I'm nosy so wanted to try them. I've told oh about the boy sperm are fast and girl sperm have endurance theory and after going through the whole 'I'd be happy with a healthy one' he admitted to secretly wanting a boy. I said he'd best pay attention to the weekend bding then! Anything to keep his focus!

@VenusStarr arhhh still no positive opk and no temp rise either looks like its going to be another late one.
@Esssa hello and sorry for your loss. Fx this smep works for you. If I'm not ovulating this time or do but not pregnant this cycle we will be giving this a go next cycle. I personally think it's going to be a bust because DH sometimes has problems with the scheduled sex already but anything is worth a go.

That’s great news about the funding @VenusStarr lovely to have some positive news.

I’ve been thinking of you @Katie1109

Hello @Esssa I’m sorry you find yourself here

@Mumlili9 hoping you ovulate soon and see the temp shift to confirm. I didn’t ovulate until CD30 this cycle , although it’s my first cycle after the stillbirth.

Thanks for checking in @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow been a low few days. I dropped DD off for her first settle back at nursery yesterday morning which on one hand is great news, but I basically just came home and cried for 2 hours, I didn’t expect to feel so low. I just felt really pointless and without purpose. Not pregnant, not working, not looking after DD. Being on maternity leave without your baby is just so fucked up. Although I am so thankful that I can take this time off work without having the worry of going back too soon.

I couldn’t resist POAS this morning, obviously got a glaringly white BFN, although at 10dpo I know it’s really too early to be testing. Doesn’t stop the sting though.

How are you @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow?
I’ve been thinking of @peperethecat too. Hope everyone is ok xx

Thank you for all the support ladies x
I am meant to take pessaries tomorrow, but I have just gone through a first wave of the most horrible cramps I ever felt. It lasted about 20 minutes and now I’m fine but I’m sure there’s plenty more to come x

Well ladies I'm super excited for this cycle now. First thing this morning still only high on the cbfm, negative opk and feeling that the last 2 nights I've basically brow beat DH into dtd (poor man). Then around 12 I started getting the most horrible sharp pains on my right side and did another test because I'm a crazy poas lady and wham blazing positive. So cd 12 is a fairly good length follicular phase, strong positive opk, pains on the side I have a tube and good dtd timing and trying again tonight. I don't think I can do any more. Pineapple is waiting for me for 1-5 dpo and then on the pessaries and fingers crossed for a shiny bfp.

Sorry I’m quiet. I am following the thread as I can’t help myself but I’m trying not to get too caught up at the moment tbh

@VenusStarr Really food news about the IVF funding

@marmitecheesetoast I’m sorry you feel that way. It really is crap being on mat leave without a baby. I spent much of it home alone when DH went back to work and obviously don’t have other children so used to being one of the rabbits in to keep me company (they used to be house rabbits but now live in the garage) 😂

I still feel a bit pointless tbh but I’m trying to be positive and I’m starting counselling again next week so I’m hoping that helps. In fact, it helps just knowing I’ve got a session lined up.

Sounds positive for you @mumlili9

I am using Clearblue connect OPKs this month. On CD11 and testing at low but i looked back to see I haven’t tested since October last year!

Sorry I didn't reply yesterday. I've been distracted by the eggs in my incubator hatching. I have 19 teeny fluffy quail so far. Think they are about done and the rest may not hatch.

Fingers crossed for you @Mumlili9 you are doing better than me. After all that oh wasn't forthcoming last night and was not for waking up early this morning. I'm not too worried as the opks are still faint if there at all. Will see what today's says later. Thanks for the specifics on pineapple core. Saves me googling when its for.

Does anyone use asprin and could tell me more about it. Not sure whether to try it this month or not.

Good Evening ladies x hope you’re all well x
I have used the pessaries today and after about 7 hours of excruciating pain I think I can say my miscarriage is complete (hopefully). I’m still bleeding but pain is now bearable, more like medium period pains x

Ladies I'm really trying not to be a bitch but DH did not finish again last night and now it probably to late. I really struggling not to show I'm super cross. All the prep all the sacrifice I'm making not eat this, taking that, and it was for nothing. Praying that the dtd we did 2 days ago that his swimmers still had some life in them.
This happens everytime I tell him about ovulation and I have to tell him because of his work hours. I just don't know what to do about this. I've tried every trick in the book if you get what I mean but it's just not happening. Then again maybe I can't blame him as every pregnancy has ended very badly so far. He says he really wants a baby but I'm not a miracle worker

@mumlili9 I’m sorry, I can imagine why that would be frustrating. You are still in with a chance as it only takes one time and sperm can live 5+ days but of course you want to give yourself the best chance possible.
DH and I used to struggle to dtd as often as I’d like every month as he’d either get stressed or just not be in the mood if he knew I was all about the baby making. I tried to let him know I was in the mood without mentioning it. How often does your DH work? Can you just do it every 2 days without focussing on when you are ovulating? Sorry I don’t really have any helpful advice x

@SomeBunnyOvertheRainbow he works nights 13 and 15 hour shifts