Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

@mrsAndeke I got started a bit early I think - We did every day for 4 days then the day I got my peak OPK couldn’t finish! But did the day after. So reckon we got 4 out of 5 days covered but it was a bit much alongside a heat wave - I’ll probably just go for every other day next time!!

@poppy10121 I'm similar to you, convinced we'd missed our window this week and I wouldn't symptom spot... but today I'm feeling nauseous and achey boobs but not nipple tenderness. Trying not to read too much into it, think AF due Thursday-Sunday so similar timeline to you. Had weird cramps on Saturday and now going was it implantation! Think I'm going loopy! But pretty confident this is not my month.

I hope everyone feels they can stay on this thread, I've found it such a source of strength and support.

I don't feel like I can stay. I don't think you actually get it @Ranoutofgoodnames, you don't need to apologise for how I feel, but for what you said, and how you said it. You just casually dropped into the conversation that you had a termination which in itself is a difficult one to read right now for me, and I'm sure many others. I would have one too if it was right, but is there a need to be so casual about it right now in a group of women desperate to have a baby? Not sure if that tone was appropriate. Then in the same post you again casually dropped in that you were doing your research and you've explained to yourself that your body really wants a baby and is accepting and welcoming of the embryos and it made you feel better because it's so much better than if your body was messed up and didn't hold on to pregnancies. One might ask, what would happen if there's someone reading this who is struggling to get pregnant full stop or pregnant again after loss. I bet these words were comforting to them too, just as they were to me.

I think you are massively missing the point.
Which will continue to upset me, because I thought once you go through something like this, empathy becomes your strong trait. Not necessarily so.

@Workingmama1 Sounds like we are all in the same boat - some rational/cautious part of the brain saying it’s probably not our time but some other hopeful part is examining every little twinge! Hoping for all of us that the hopeful signs are here to stay xx

@mrsAndeke I didn't manage to make it until Wednesday with testing as predicted....got home from work and tested at 8pm....I'm sure there is absolutely no point in testing this early if not going to use FMU but my brain saw the sticks and insisted on dipping just in case.... slightly less nausea today but I just sneezed and felt a pull in my lower abdomen which is one of the things that happened when I was pregnant last time. I'm just convincing myself of these things and setting myself up for upset when AF arrives. And now my area is back in full lockdown there won't even be any comfort boozing with my sister at the weekend to make me feel better. Fingers crossed the constipation is a positive sign for you 🤞🤞
@Poppy10121 sending positive vibes. Keeping hopeful for everyone xx

@Workingmama1 I had cramps on Saturday too and after googling managed to convince myself they must have been implantation cramps because of the timing, I'm sure it's just my hormones being all over the place but it's so hard not to hope. Keeping everything crossed that yours were implantation 🤞🤞

I'm very excited about all your symptoms. Everything that has been described is something I have felt over the last week 🤞🤞 But I can't say for definite that I don't feel these every month - my mind seems to blank out all memory of every pms symptom I have ever had when I'm in the TWW 😭

I told DP about BFP today. I feel a little bit less anxious now ... But still being very very cautious and basically terrified 😔 I don't really feel I can accept it properly yet. I'm going to ask for an early scan (probably won't get it on the NHS but one can only try!)

Hope you all sleep well x

@PurplePansy05 I really don’t think @Ranoutofgoodnames meant to offend and I also don’t read any negativity or blame towards hers or anybody’s bodies in her post. I’m really sorry it upset you and perhaps we can all take something from this (as @poppy10121 said, we all have different sensitivities), however I don’t think there was any malice at all and @ranoutofgoodnames did apologise, so I think it’s time to let this go now.

@poppy10121 Welcome to the symptom spotters, I am firmly in that camp! I oscillate between ‘I’m making it all up, I’m not pregnant, don’t be ridiculous’ and ‘I must be pregnant’ along with some ‘well I might be pregnant but I’ll probably lose it again as my symptoms aren’t strong enough’ 🙄

@mrsAndeke fingers crossed they’re positive signs! 🤞🏼 Feel like there’s going to be another wave of tests on this thread again soon! Glad your first day back at work went well 💕

@ranoutofgoodnames you’re not alone with the boob bashing - I’m nipple prodding like mad as they’ve calmed down now!

@Workingmama1 nausea all day here too and a horrible taste in my mouth. Husband reminded me that early on last time (but after positive test) I said I just felt a hungover all the time which is how this feels so that obviously got my hopes up, too!

@Smilingdonkey I hope you do get an early scan - I‘ve heard of them being given on the nhs after MC so you never know 🤞🏼 I think being worried is completely normal and we’d all be the same but just remember that the odds are in your favour. Xx

@JoJo58995 I really hope it’s good news for you and I’m so sorry you’re back in lockdown, hopefully the situation will improve and it’ll be lifted when they review in a couple of weeks.

I should really go to sleep! Night everyone xx

@SkyBlue20 Maybe if you were in my shoes and had multiple losses most likely caused by your own immune system, you'd have a different perception. Like I said, I'm going to leave because her comment and the lack of understanding on here are very upsetting and uncomfortable, and that's the last thing I need right now.

@purplepansy05 Like I said, I’m sorry it upset you and I do understand why - we each have different things that will affect us going through this journey, it’s not a matter of the same one thing upsetting us all, but I do believe we can all be there to support each other through anything that may hurt and learn when somebody flags that something is hurtful, as I think we have here. However, what good is it doing for you or anyone else on here to keep opening up the wound and arguing about it? @Ranoutofgoodnames has apologised and I’m not sure what else you want her to do? She didn’t do anything maliciously or set out to hurt you.

I know we’d all rather you didn’t leave and that we could move past this however if you feel that’s what you need then I’m sorry to see you go and I wish you all of the luck in the world with your journey xx

I didn't open anything @SkyBlue20, I said what I needed to say in two posts and then the creator of this thread started chipping in with her comments which really opened up the situation and made it worse. I also don't think apologising to me for how I feel is an apology. An apology would be a real one if it was for what was said because this is what caused upset. I didn't just wake up yesterday thinking you know what, I'm having a bad day so I'll come on here and cause some drama. I'm a very level headed person, but the comment was not ok and I truly mean what I said about it. I don't think you do appreciate how deep something like this can hurt, and that's possibly because you cannot fully understand my position for obvious reasons. I think because I posted my story on here, explained where my investigations are going etc., it should have been obvious that this kind of comment would go straight in where it shouldn't and cause pain. It seems it was only obvious to me, however.

@JoJo58995 Sorry you’re back in lockdown, how frustrating :( hopefully it won’t be for long!

@Smilingdonkey I know exactly what you mean! I seem to have blocked out any/all PMS symptoms I’ve ever had and focusing only on pregnancy ones it doesn’t help that with the MMC it’s genuinely several months since my last “normal” period so all memories are long gone!

@skyblue20 yes 100% on the oscillating, I’m either convinced it’s happening or convinced I’m losing the plot. Last time I felt that I “knew” and was devastated when I got the negative test after missed period and then it turned out a couple of weeks later I was right so... maybe there’s something in it?! But I only have that one limited experience to go on.

I miscounted yesterday so I think I’m actually 7 or 8 DPO. All the days blur into one at the moment until I look at an actual calendar!

@purplepansy05 I think it is probably best if you do leave if you are going to continue to be rude to people who have apologised. I feel that if someone discussing their experiences and expressing how they are coping with something upsets you this much at the moment perhaps Mumsnet is not the place to be. This is not meant to be 'patronising' or me 'chipping in' ... It's just my opinion, and as you said we are all entitled to those. I wish you all the best.

I can't tell you how much more 'normal' I feel being able to speak to you all about everything and symptom spotting. This thread really has helped me so much so thank you everyone for being so supportive. There are lots of positive signs being mentioned so fingers crossed for some positive tests soon 🤞🤞 I feel nauseous again this morning but it turns out quite a few people I work with so I'm now thinking its probably more likely to be a bug than anything else, I'm too impatient for this waiting game....

@JoJo58995 I just came on here myself to say I was feeling really sick again this morning. The thought of my granola is making me feel even worse - all I want is a bacon sandwich, to the point where I may have to go out and buy the ingredients. It could well be a bug but I'm hoping for us both that it isn't 🤞🏼

Ooh @skyblue20 that sounds really promising!! I remember last time all I wanted to eat was cheese sandwiches!!

@Poppy10121 Me too! I spent the first few weeks of pregnancy just eating cheese sandwiches and snacking on numerous oranges a day. I'm dairy intolerant, too, but it went away while pregnant, it was heaven! 😂

@Poppy10121 we are about the same timings, I am 7DPO today. No symptoms at all though, checking back on my app, I had sore boobs this time last month. Was convinced I was pregnant then. I'm hoping that my lack of symptoms is a good sign 😹😹

One thing I will say though, @Ranoutofgoodnames I know some of my words were harsh and I probably upset you too at the time when you may be going through your second loss. I am sorry about that and sorry you're going through this stressful time again - I don't wish to make it in any way worse for you and sorry I inadvertently did. I do hope things work out for you. I've been in that place of unknown myself before when they told me come back in 2 weeks time for another scan, there was internal bleeding and the wait was excruciating. I was further along though and there are positive outcomes, remember, especially that you're early on and there might well be positive news. It does happen that everything develops well despite the initial worries.

I have been speaking from the place of pain since yesterday because it hurt me right where I didn't want it to, but I don't want to my words to upset you now or at all. X

Sounds like there is a fair bit of nausea around at the moment @skyblue20 @jojo58995 ! 🤞 it will be followed by some positives... Im feeling it less today but yesterday it was strong with a funny taste so 🤷‍♀️ obviously I googled and didn't realised that nausea can also be a PMS symptom.

Since feb 2018 I've only had one period that I knew was coming (and I wasn't even really sure when that was going to turn up!) In fact I've bled more with postpartum bleeding, miscarriage and then CP than normal periods (only x2) since then, so I have no reference point for what is normal for me which is frustrating.

I am excited for all the nausea!

@workingmama1 I also Googled and found that out - brought me back down to earth a little bit 😂

It's really weird as I don't feel pregnant and in my heart of hearts don't think I am, but these symptoms don't half get your hopes up! Can the next week to 10 days just fly by please?!

Went out and got the stuff for my bacon sandwich, it was great 😋

@PurplePansy05 I don’t want you or anyone to feel like they need to leave. We’ve all gone through a nightmare, you more so than us, so I can see why you’re offended and yes talking about terminations on a MC thread isn’t the best idea. @Ranoutofgoodnames is in the midst of a possible MC so I think she’s just trying her best to keep positive and didn’t think or mean to cause anyone harm. If you leave then I really hope they will find out if anything is wrong and that you catch quickly and go on to have your rainbow. I, for one, would like to see an update from you.

Guys, all these symptoms sound promising. When I suddenly got lightheaded that day and had an ache when I moved, I knew there was a high chance of a BFP. Then once I got my usual pregnancy cramps, I was certain. You don't normally get weird symptoms like nausea, weird taste and aches unless you're pregnant right!? Lol. I've never symptom spotted and don't usually get any symptoms apart from cramps until I'm 6 weeks so maybe our recent pregnancy has made our bodies more sensitive? I could be chatting crap but I'm certain we're going to get some more good news.

As for my symptoms, got woken up by horrible cramps last night. The last time I had that pain was when I had just found out about the MMC. I've had this pain before during AF, pregnancy AND MC so it could mean anything, which is annoying.

I needed a decaf coffee and a sit down to catch up with everything.. blimey you miss a couple of days and it all gets a bit fraught..
I was admitted with HG for my daughter and I've found myself wishing for nausea..
I'm out this month af arrived last night.. I was in a blissful bubble from 14 past my last possible ov day.. I've had nose lick a blood hound, sore boobs and nipples.. nausea.. spotting but once a day... had convinced myself it was implantation spotting.. chatting to my belly and little bean.. ( 🙄 I know crazy lady) but not to be..
I will put my 2 pennyworth in and say this is a very lovely and supportive group and have never found any posts upsetting.. l love the honesty. But we are all very emotional ( bloody hormones) and have diff experiences.. love to you all and loving the positive preg vibes..
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