Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

@skyblue20 me! I have been having hot flushes!

@PurplePansy05 my husband done Sziget for his stag, looked/sounded incredible! I’ve done Dekmantel & Mystic Garden in Amsterdam, Sonar in Barcelona, and BCM in Mexico (best festival setting I’ve ever experienced). London has some amazing daytime festivals, let’s hope they all get up & running again at some point!

@sabtom Hopefully if you start looking forward to glastonbury & imagine being there next year, the BFP will happen. The age old saying that it happens when you finally ‘switch off’ - my friends actually have a joke that if we want to get pregnant we just have to get glasto tickets, coz every time we’ve managed to get them, one of our group has got pregnant & hasn’t been able to come. Literally 4 separate years this happened. Hope our little ‘thing’ works for you too!

[quote Smilingdonkey]@skyblue20 me! I have been having hot flushes! [/quote]
Oooh good to know! I’ve had one or two a day for the last two days. Feeling very nauseous and horrible taste in my mouth today also but that could be because I had a few glasses of wine last night... trying to not read too much in to anything (and failing miserably 😂)

@SkyBlue20 I've also been feeling nauseous and so tired today! With weird cramps as well could be that AF is coming but I'm not due for 8days and I'm only 8dpo. Just feeling crappy!

@skybkue20 when are you going to test .... You are being very self-controlled! I tested from 7dpo onwards 😭

@Starfish762 Sziget is out of this world, I agree. The Mexican festival sounds amazing, I'd so love to do that! I agree re London festival, I did British Summer Time several times and really enjoyed it.

My DH's friend actually got pregnant at the festival (Isle of Wight), now that's a story to tell her daughter one day (called Isla 😳😂)!

I miss culture so much in this pandemic 😩 This thread made me realise this and it's brought so many happy memories from my 20s ❤️

@mrsAndeke I'm the same at 8dpo, just have had waves of nausea for the last few days and cramping yesterday. Thinking back this happened first time over Christmas before I even considered I could be pregnant and I still got a bfn then before getting my first bfp about a week later. DH got me started testing 2 days ago which are negative and I wish I hadn't started because now I can't stop symptom spotting even though I'm sure it's just my hormones settling. This will be my first 'cycle' in 6 months really as I got pregnant straight after coming off the pill. I have everything crossed for you....🤞🤞 are you planning to test early?

@SkyBlue20 how many days are you now? Fingers crossed it's not the wine 🤞🤞

@JoJo58995 yes I've done the same
I've tested at of course it's way too early but I can't seem to not POAS with my first morning wee, this is my 1st cycle since my MMC and it would be an absolute miracle if I did get pregnant so quickly as it did take three years for the first try. So I'm trying to be zen about it all, but it does make you go a bit cray cray.

Exciting to hear other people’s symptoms! I’m on CD22 now but have no idea when I ovulated (if I have) so don’t know my DPO. I think my cycles are usually around 32-35 days but that could be wrong, just an estimation as came off the pill and got pregnant first cycle so never really had time to track it. My ovulation date last time would work to those numbers though. That said, last time I got sore nipples 3DPO and working off that and when I got them this time, I’d have ovulated on CD13 this time... but who knows! I’m beginning to wish I’d tracked 😂

So yeah, that’s a long way of saying I’m not going to test for a while yet - I’m not an early tester anyway (I‘d rather avoid knowing if I have a chemical and don’t want any uncertainty with lines etc). My app is saying seven days from now but taking in to account my cycle length and not wanting to test early, I’ll see where I’m at in about 10-14 days I think... it’s essentially a three week wait for me 🙈

@mrsAndeke I'm also trying to be as zen as possible, it's just difficult when you suddenly think 'oh I just felt like I might throw up, I dont usually feel like that....what if....' and then before you know it, there you are poas.... I've promised myself no more tests until Wednesday now because I've decided I don't want to know until then, I have 4 days off work after that and if its negative then I can be happy that my sister is coming to see me next weekend and I can have a relaxed weekend with some drinks if its negative, and if its positive then i have a happy reason not to drink and process before work next monday.... at least this is what I'm telling myself, I'll probably find myself testing again tomorrow morning.... I'm hoping for a bfp for you soon 🤞
@SkyBlue20 I have so much respect for you not testing early. When I went into this I was so chilled about it, then the last 6 months has turned me into a very different person about it all....🤦‍♀️

@JoJo58995 even my Oh is like are you okay have you taken a test and I'm like yep it's negative it's way too early any but guess what I'm still going to test in the morning as I have zero self control. It's my 30th in two weeks so I'm like I'm either going to get drunk and be happy with some friends or be sober and happy I'm brewing something in the inside...we shall have to wait and see! Sprinkling some baby dust your way too!

@SkyBlue20 I have around 32-day cycles and usually ovulate around CD21, but if my cycle is slightly longer it could be closer to CD24 (or if shorter then CD18-19). If yours can be 35 days, you may want to keep going for another couple of days if you weren't tracking 😉

Do you check your CM at all?

Also re testing, personally I'm not a fan of testing early as it's often a headfuck. But I think testing when AF is due is not a bad idea. Remember that CPs count towards your MC record and would speed up any referrals in the future (if needed at all, obviously, hopefully not).

@JoJo58995 Oh it’s not me being strong and not testing, it’s me being scared 😂 I never have tests in either so it’s easier to stop yourself from testing - ordering online/going out to get one first is much more of an effort.

@purplepansy05 Definitely intend on keep on going but it has been four days now as husband was tired the night before last and fell asleep on the couch last night and didn’t come to bed until 4am 😬 Tonight we WILL! Also very aware that my cycle could be completely different this time round due to the miscarriage so who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️
I don’t check CM no, I never really notice any difference tbh - will have to be a bit more aware of it moving forward. I forget how new I still am to all of this - it’s only my second cycle ever, I just feel like I’ve been through so much more!

@SkyBlue20 I knew nothing about CM before my MC too, even afterwards I was convinced there's no difference in my CM throughout the cycle 😂 It took me few months to actually recognise what's what. It's less stressful for me than OPKs or temping for me, and it clearly works once you get to grips with it 😉 Enjoy tonight 😁

Have checked in on the other thread but to be honest am pretty convinced I will be ttc again soon given hcg levels and bleeding. Am going to hang around both and will go offline for a couple of days if the worst happens and then come back fighting 💪

@ranoutofgoodnames Oh I really hope not, I’ve got everything crossed for you.

I def won’t be testing early after an awful experience in January where 3 early CB tests told me I was pregnant, only to come on my period 3 days later. Obv could’ve been chemical, but so many of the reviews of the tests on amazon said they were dodgy. It was so upsetting so I promised my husband then not to early test again. The MC has cemented that even more for me. I have 3 tests in the house but determined not to use them until 2-3 days late, spesh as cycles may be messed up for a while anyway.

Relaxed in bed enjoying reading my book, which I’m 3 quarters of the way through & have been hooked on, totally didn’t expect this turn of events. Like what are the actual odds?! FFS!

@mrsAndeke well I really hope it's the latter for you with the birthday celebrations 🤞🤞 I had my 30th last September and had said I would stop my pill soon after I'd had my boozy birthday....little did I know all this was in store for us. Your Oh sounds like mine with the encouraging of the testing... I had a proper chat with mine earlier about everything because I know he's hopeful with me feeling nauseous and he got so upset about the MMC it broke my heart....😥
@SkyBlue20 I bulk ordered a pack of 30 internet cheapies once I realised I was going to be a bit of a serial tester....oops!
@Ranoutofgoodnames I'm so sorry you're going through what you are. I really hope its positive news for you, but either way we're all here to support you.

I think the to test or not debate is a really interesting one... I'm pretty sure I'm out this month so will probably leave it until Thursday (think AF is due Thursday/Friday). While confusing and potentially upsetting I think I'd rather know about a CP, particularly as that adds to you miscarriage number for NHS referrals (given I think last cycle was a CP that would see me being referred now, especiallyas I rang the EPU so there is a record of my positive tests as they took my details). But I think everyone has to do what is right for them. Also I think I'd rather be in control of knowing its not the month by getting a BFN rather than the uninvited arrival of AF (I'm a bit of a control freak!). It really is personal choice and I have so mich respect for those of you who can wait it out!

@ranoutofgood names sorry you are now bleeding. Whatever the outcome I hope you can rest and be kind to yourself for the next few days.

Oh @Starfish762, that's creepy!

I mentioned one of F+tM songs earlier, it was my favourite for years and only now the lyrics mean something else to me:

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat,
I tried to find the sound.
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out,
You left me in the dark.
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart.
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map,
And knew that somehow I could find my way back.
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too,
So I stayed in the darkness with you.

I still love this song, it's just made me pause when I watched it at Glastonbury yesterday.

@Ranoutofgoodnames Sending love. What are the next steps for you? Sending so many positive thoughts your way 💕

@Starfish762 Not what you want to read whilst you’re trying to relax! I’d started the Handmaids Tale just before the MMC and continuing to read it afterwards was so hard as is so much about pregnancy and babies, etc. I finished it but I don’t think I took a lot in. In comparison I’ve just read The Testaments and I remember it a lot more clearly.

@Workingmama1 You make some really good points there and tbh if this does go on a while and I get to know my cycles then I may choose to test a day or so before AF is due as, I agree, it would be nicer to know than be taken by surprise. However, at the moment, I don’t know when that may be so just waiting it out as long as possible - not knowing my cycles means I’m scared of testing too early and getting inconclusive lines or an early negative etc.

@purplepansy05 Such lovely lyrics 💕

Thank you for all the positive vibes xx

@SkyBlue20 I am waiting for ten days and if I don’t miscarry in the meantime I will have a follow up scan

@PurplePansy05 wow yes to those lyrics having a new meaning now

@ everyone!! Let’s hit Monday with positive thinking - what will be will be and we will all get there eventually just need to be patient and keep going xxx

@Ranoutofgoodnames great attitude! I’m gonna try to keep this vibe going!

For those doing CB digital ovulation testing, how long did people generally have flashing smileys before they got static smiley? I’ve had 4 mornings of flashing so far so DTD every day hoping for the best!

Wow too many messages for me to catch up on individualy!
Happy Monday! @ranoutofgoodnames you are an inspiration! I'm going to work on 'Think Positive July' and try to stop imagining the worst all the time xxx

Morning all!

@Ranoutofgoodnames I completely agree - positive week ahead! I went for a run in the rain this morning (couch to 5k, week five, run two for those of you doing it) and felt so good and upbeat afterwards, despite looking like a drowned rat 😂

Here's to a good week for us all! xx