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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

993 replies

Smilingdonkey · 15/05/2020 20:02

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

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Poppy10121 · 26/06/2020 10:34

@Ranoutofgoodnames good luck for today, it’s so hard that your OH can’t be there for good news or bad, will be thinking of you x

@itssquidstella those residual hormones are a bitch, so stressful. Sorry it didn’t work out for you this time Flowers

@Smilingdonkey can definitely see lines in both your tests, how exciting! I can completely understand wanting to keep it to yourself for a bit longer though.

itssquidstella · 26/06/2020 10:36

@PurplePansy05 I'm having AMH, day 21 bloods and a few others - the standard raft, I think!

PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 10:42

@itssquidstella It's good they're testing you, they didn't even offer anything at all after my second loss. Luckily, this time it was different, but still such a long wait. I don't think I'll be seen before September for the whole bunch of tests. Oh well. At least it's nearly July already, phew! I hope it goes well for you, don't give up Flowers

ew1990 · 26/06/2020 10:49

God ive a lot to catch up on. Massive congratulations to thr ladies with BFPs.

Still waiting for first AF. Only been 4 weeks yesterday. Bought OPKs and a thermometer to track cycles after AF. Not a clue what I'm doing though.

Hope everyone else is ok.

@ranoutofgoodnames thinking of you for your scan today

itssquidstella · 26/06/2020 10:59

The AMH I'm having done privately, but I have a super sympathetic GP who has arranged the others for me. If anything is flagged up I'll probably have to go private, though, as the recurrent miscarriage clinic is currently shut because of COVID 🙄

PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 11:30

@itssquidstella Is there a particular reason for the AMH test? I thought they're no longer considered a good indicator of anything really in terms of fertility. I remember reading about this on the NHS website in the context of egg reserves I believe and it was shown AMH level made no difference to anything.

Are you going down the route of general fertility tests, rather than miscarriage-focused tests?

Ranoutofgoodnames · 26/06/2020 11:41

Thank you ladies - will update afterwards

I think I will be ok either way - I have had all the emotions this week and not sure there is much left to feel!

I had amh test done - was in the range of normal for my age. Have me some reassurance at least

PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 11:47

Sorry, I should perhaps say, the reason why I'm asking about AMH is because the content I read on the NHS website suggested that it has no impact on fertility and as a result sometimes it might cause unnecessary stress to a woman whereas actually, everything is in order and her chances to get pregnant are normal. I never considered it myself, but if there's a reason why it's worth doing, I certainly would.

I don't know what it's like in your area, where I am you don't get a referral to an RMC until three consecutive losses, which is a great shame. I am going to have NK Cells testing done privately as it's not offered on the NHS as standard, and possibly anything else that the RMC doesn't do, I don't know what they're going to offer yet.

Have you heard of/considersed NK Cells tests @itssquidstella? You can get a referral on the NHS after two consecutive MCs for these (but the wait is long), or have them done privately (which only takes few weeks).

SkyBlue20 · 26/06/2020 12:54

@PurplePansy05 How are you doing today? For what it's worth, I think you're so strong - the way you have got through everything you have and have kept going, is so inspiring. It's so normal to feel down but you've got this, you're a warrior. xx

Good luck with your scan today, @Ranoutofgoodnames - I'm sending lot of positive vibes your way for the best news xx

How're you ladies with lines doing? And you ladies still waiting to ovulate/in the TWW/ in every other stage of limbo?

I'm driving myself crazy - when I got pregnant last time, my nipples were the giveaway, they were constantly erect and sore to the point that my bra was irritating them. The last few days, my nipples have been sore on and off and have had moments where they're erect (usually when I get up and when I go to bed) but nowhere near to the level they were last time. So I'm oscillating between 'oooh it's a good early sign' to 'no, it's just a sign my period is coming' and 'it means I'm pregnant but my levels aren't as high so I'll definitely lose this one'. I'm trying so hard not to think about it but it's impossible. I think I'm probably about three or four DPO but I don't know for sure, I don't even know for certain if I did ovulate as I'm not testing, and that uncertainty isn't helping. Also made the mistake of looking back at my Ovia app and last time my nipples were sore from 3DPO so that feeds in to my 'I'm not pregnant' and my 'I am pregnant but it's not strong so it'll be a loss'. I'm annoying myself with it all! How can I chill the F out?! 🥴

SkyBlue20 · 26/06/2020 12:55

Started writing that hours ago, got distracted with work and now there have been loads of other posts 🤦🏻‍♀️ Off to catch up again! 😂

SkyBlue20 · 26/06/2020 12:58

@PurplePansy05 I'm sorry it takes so long for the tests! September will be here before you know it but must feel like forever.

@itssquidstella Glad you're getting the tests, how frustrating about the clinic being closed because of Covid though. I don't think the people that make these decisions know how hard this all is!

itssquidstella · 26/06/2020 13:01

@PurplePansy05 what's the NK cells test? Tbh I just opted in for everything; I need to have another look at my referral form to figure out exactly what I'm down to have!

I know I'm considered low-risk for sticky blood so not sure if I'll have the thrombyllosis (something like that!) test unless I have further MCs.

I had a fertility MOT in August and I know I was low on productive follicles so one of the tests is checking on that, I think.

PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 13:28

@itssquidstella I see re the follicles, this might be why they want to do AMH, that's fair enough. Although if you got pregnant twice already, I'd think you'll be totally fine from this point of view.

APS (the sticky blood syndrome) would be one of the usual tests, but as you say it's been excluded in your case already. You should probably have Factor V-Leiden, thyroid (all tests, I think there's two different ones), lupus, karyotype, hormone levels (which seems is what you'll be having, to test hormone levels), womb structure ultrasound and HyCoSy, possibly laparoscopy too to check for any womb abnormalities, endometriosis etc.

NK Cells is a looping topic! In short it's a fairly new research in miscarriage and recurrent miscarriage. The theory behind is that Natural Killer Cells which we all have in our bodies and which normally protect us from infections, fight off cancer etc. start acting funny at the beginning of the pregnancy. It's worth noting the NK Cells in our uterus are slightly different to NK Cells in the rest of our body and usuaetheir primary role is to protect the pregnancy. What doctors think happens sometimes is an immune system disorder whereby theose NK Cells somehow think that the fertilised egg/embryo is the enemy and the pregnancy cannot progress as a result. This is what they think happens when NK Cells incorrectly get overly aggressive. Alternatively, they multiple at an increased rate (which is what the doctors think happens to women who have low or no stem cells in their womb) and their levels are too high which in combination with low stem cells leads to holes in the endometrium which ultimately collapses on itself and the pregnancy doesn't progress. That's in summary, it's a very complex (and fascinating) theory and there a lot of voices in support of this theory and lots of success stories once women were treated correctly.

NK Cells can be tested by way of a biopsy from your cervix (this is currently done in Coventry (Prof Quenby and Dr Brosens) and in Bristol (at BCRM). The specialists in Coventry have been researching this for Tommy's for years now. They can also be tested by way of blood tests in London (Dr Shehata). There is some controversy over which method is better, pros and cons of each. Then there are still some question marks over when the treatment should be started, from ovulation or BFP. But as a general rule, if you're diagnosed with it, you're put on low-dose steroids to manage the level/aggressiveness of NK Cells (eg prednisolone) or the more expensive method used by Dr Shehata are IV lipids. Again, there are success stories on either approach, it's too soon to tell which one works better, but indeed, it seems the researchers are on the right track and it might explain why many miscarriages happen.

To make this more complicated, NK Cells levels vary naturally from cycle to cycle - that's why some women may well have a successful pregnancy if they randomly conceive in a lucky cycle, without any treatment.

It seems there is a very good chance of ending up with a baby if you suffer from it, might just need a bit of help. Also it's important to avoid stress - there is a question mark over whether stress is a symptom of NK Cells going into overdrive or whether they might go into overdrive as part of our bodies stress response. So a big chill pill which I'm reminding myself of every day. It certainly helps to stay calm anyway!

Sorry that was an essay, but there's no easy way of explaining this. There's lots online and if you have any questions, fire away as I am just about to start the testing process.

PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 13:29
  • looooong topic, not looping! 🤦🏼‍♀️
Smilingdonkey · 26/06/2020 13:36

@purplepansy05 that's fascinating! Thank you for sharing - I feel like I've learned something today 😊 Xxx

I really hope the testing all goes well for you and you get some answers soon xxx

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PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 13:38

@SkyBlue20 Thank you ❤️ I'm still scared that it will keep happening over and over again and that my strength won't last for long enough. I just try not to think about it. I found it so easy to go down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts after my MCs, it's hard to keep yourself in check, isn't it.

I hate all symptoms! They tell us nothing, we might be pregnant or not, we might be miscarrying or not, we might be having a perfectly healthy pregnancy and no symptoms at all... it's bonkers! Wish I could have an off switch for symptom spotting!

Smilingdonkey · 26/06/2020 13:46

@skyblue20 I did exactly the same thing with frequent urination (which is my tell tale sign!) It's so easy to over analyse but I don't see how one can avoid it? If anyone knows please tell me!!

I got an obvious (but still light) line on and IC for the first time this morning (i.e. not a squinter!) So I'm just praying this one doesn't become a chemical 🤞

I have a plan to help me with this pregnancy which might seem mad but I think feigning some sort of control
will stop obsession and minmise anxiety - if that makes sense:

  • tomorrow 11/12DPO FRER to check progression
  • Sunday IC for progression
  • Monday AF Due IC for progression
  • Tuesday CB digital and if positive 1-2 weeks tell DP
  • finish of ICs by taking one daily (let's be honest I'm gonna keep going until the pack is empty!)
  • Next Tuesday CB digital to check progression to 2-3 weeks
  • Tuesday after CB digital to check for 3+ weeks
  • book early scan for 7-8 weeks
  • book second early scan 10 weeks if I need it (I'll see how I feel)
-12 week scan
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PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 13:52

@Smilingdonkey I'm glad it's a clear line today, lovely news.

No problem re NK Cells post, I think I read the entire internet when it comes to MC research and treatment options over the last 16 months, so happy to share 😂

Your plan sounds spot on, I see you're realistic about testing and that's ok, if you think you won't manage to stay away from them then take them. Just don't go into the over-analysing mode because it really does happen that one day we drink more than the other and the line doesn't change or looks lighter. Or the light is different, or you test at different time of the day. Try not to drive yourself crazy over this because it'll do more harm then good and ultimately you're resting for reassurance, not more anxiety. Xxx

PurplePansy05 · 26/06/2020 13:53

*testing not resting, my spelling is abysmal today, I just polished my nails 🤦🏼‍♀️

Smilingdonkey · 26/06/2020 14:07

@purpleoansy05 I need to do that too! My toenails are grim at the moment !!

I have decided on one test at day. I have promised myself I won't act or worry unless I see the like get significantly lighter over 3-4 days - but realistically I'll be out of the ICs by the end of next week (if not before!) and I won't buy any more so it won't be relevant for long!

Thanks for your support ❤️

I hope people don't mine me hanging around here for a bit? I'm not taking anything for granted and you guys understand me! At some point - if all goes well - I will make a 'pregnant after MMC' thread for us to all move on to as and when we get our BFPs - but it feels a bit early right now xxxx

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Smilingdonkey · 26/06/2020 14:08

Now look at my typos!

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itssquidstella · 26/06/2020 14:25

That's really interesting @PurplePansy05 , thanks! Yes I'm definitely having thyroid checked, will let you know what else!

mrsAndeke · 26/06/2020 14:52

@SkyBlue20 I'm in the Dreaded TWW! 9 days until AF keep getting mild cramps and pulling sensations but think I'm just over thinking it.

Smilingdonkey · 26/06/2020 15:45

@ranoutofgoodnames how are you? I've been thinking about you all afternoon. Hope you are ok xxx

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SkyBlue20 · 26/06/2020 18:14

[quote PurplePansy05]@SkyBlue20 Thank you ❤️ I'm still scared that it will keep happening over and over again and that my strength won't last for long enough. I just try not to think about it. I found it so easy to go down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts after my MCs, it's hard to keep yourself in check, isn't it.

I hate all symptoms! They tell us nothing, we might be pregnant or not, we might be miscarrying or not, we might be having a perfectly healthy pregnancy and no symptoms at all... it's bonkers! Wish I could have an off switch for symptom spotting![/quote]
Yes, so hard to keep positive but it might still happen and when it does, it’ll be amazing. I really really hope it does happen for you and am sending so many positive thoughts your way 💕

Yep, symptoms are a bloody nightmare. Today I’m annoyed because my nipples have stopped hurting. FFS 🤦🏻‍♀️

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