Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

I'm afraid I don't have time on my side, I started OV about 8 days after MMC so we just went for it.. 🤞🤞🤞🤞 sending love and baby dust to you all.. 💫💫💫

@chatbash72 I had ovulation pains at 8 days after MAC but thought it was too early. Maybe not

MMC not MAC

Thank you, @Workingmama1 ! DH will be home at about midnight so fingers crossed!
So glad your husband's test was negative, I hope you've had a lovely day.

Hello ladies, may I join in? My story: Had a MM at 8w, baby stopped developing at 6w. First pregnancy and absolutely heartbroken as we were just about to begin IVF before lockdown happened and then bam! Fell pregnant naturally! I had an MVA last Wednesday (4 days ago) first 24 hours was heavy bleeding and intense cramps. After that just typical cramps and lightish flow (a little more than spotting) Normally my period is only 4 days, heavy/medium on the first day then then light for the last 3. Should I be expecting to bleed for much longer after an MVA? I plan to take a pregnancy test in a couple of days to see where my levels of hcg are. On a normal cycle I usually ovulate around day 12/13. If I'm still bleeding even a little could I still ovulate? The doctor says to expect bleeding to last up to 2 weeks, but I've read some women on here have stopped bleeding within a few days of their MVA? I guess there is no "normal"? But it is annoying not knowing when ovulation is gunna happen. Im 40 so Id like to get back into the TTC game as soon as possible

A little question for everyone. Those using OPKs, how long after your period starts/stops do you start testing? Got the CB digital so don't want to be wasting a lot. Was thinking about 7-10 days after my period started? They're still a bit all over the place.

I did them last month for the first time and got low, flashing, flashing, static.

@AlisonLew15 I recommend reading the sperm meets egg booklet (free on kindle) I finished my first AF 3 days ago on day 7 - started using my OPK on day 9, and get a high fertility flash (using clear blue digital) this morning. It seems that I ovulate early.

I am pretty sure there's a guide in the instructions that should help you work out when to start using them. I think I started on CD8 when I was using them after the first MC just in case, but soon sussed out that was way too early as after the MCs I don't ovulate till CD 20-ish (my cycles are around 32 days). It all depends on the lenght of your cycle, you need to work it out accordingly. Your fertile week will start 5 days before the ovulation day and you might still get pregnant the day after ovulation, so if you ovulate bang on CD14 then you need to start testing on CD8 as you need to start using CB before LH starts to rise, otherwise they won't work properly.

@sabtom Hey. Sorry about your loss I am 10 days post-MVA, initially had no bleeding for over a week (only a tiny bit of spotting straight after the procedure), but on Saturday I had a random gush of blood and tissue. Today I went for a run and I'm bleeding again. It's not much and I don't think it's AF (it crossed my mind initially).

I too wanted to test quickly, but I'd give it some time if I were you. Do you feel like doing any light exercise? I think the more active you are, the more likely it is that if there's any blood to come out, it will do so afterwards (gravity!). I'll be testing after my bleeding is finished, no point in doing so earlier as we can't dtd anyway.

@sabtom Sorry forgot to answer - yes, the bleeding post MVA may last up to 2 weeks. The point regarding ovulating whilst still bleeding - we shouldn't have sex whilst bleeding after the procedure - it might lead to an infection.

Interesting regarding the exercise @PurplePansy05 , I thought the bleeding stopped yesterday when I woke up, and then went for a walk yesterday afternoon and when I came back the bleeding got a little heavier (not much) and the cramps started again. I was very active before my pregnancy but I drastically cut down my workouts during my pregnancy and miscarriage but I feel mentally ready to get back to the exercise again. So should I take no bleeding/spotting for 2/3 days as it's finished and safe to dtd again?

respect and hugs to all you ladies going through pregnancy loss. It's one of the hardest experiences I've ever had to go through. This is my first pregnancy loss and as much as I want to try and get pregnant again I'm scared to death to go through another miscarriage.

@sabtom It's a tough one to judge, I thought I'd end up not bleeding at all, but it suddenly appeared out of the blue after 7-8 days from the MVA and now it continues after even slight exercise. It's not heavy, but I can tell it's dark blood from my uterus (so still from MVA) and small bits of pregnancy tissue. I know exactly what you mean re wanting to start to DTD quickly, I kind of want to do the same. It is advised to wait with TTC till after your first period but it's more so for dating purposes in case you get pregnant. As a side note, I miss intimacy with my DH as we didn't have sex when I was pregnant not to risk bleeding.

It's hard to know tbh. I personally don't want any infections right now cause it would drive me mad I can't TTC through my own stupidity and impatience. Also don't want to TTC when there might be a risk of any retained tissue. So I'll be waiting till the 2 weeks after the MVA and see if I'm bleeding then. If so, it might mean there is some retained tissue so I'll be speaking to the EPU first and take it from there.

I had three miscarriages in a row in a year - I know this sounds like the worst nightmare, but don't be afraid. It's definitely survivable and I know of ladies in a worse position than me. Obviously no one wants to be in my shoes and I don't wish it on anyone, but we really are stronger than we think. Keep positive, it really may have been a one-off and you may be absolutely fine next time

Afternoon, everyone!

@Starfish762 My period was heavier than usual, the proper bleeding lasted three days and then I had about four days of brown when wiping but no real bleeding. I think everyone's is completely different so it's hard to say, there's no normal.

@Workingmama1 So glad your husband's test came back negative! Do they know what it might be instead? Hope he's feeling a bit better. How're you doing?

@Ranoutofgoodnames Thanks for letting me know your ovulation after miscarriage, it's so interesting to hear and so hard to find that info anywhere. I'd never heard about the Sperm Meets Egg method until a couple of days ago but then when I look back, it seems to be what we more or less unintentionally did when we conceived last time!

@Poppy10121 I did think that might be the case (early ovulation), so we did start DTD the day after I finished spotting. I'm pretty sure (but not certain) that my cycles are usually around five weeks so if it sticks to schedule, I won't be ovulating for a while yet but you just never know, so we're just going to be DTD regularly and hope for the best.

Welcome @sabtom and I'm so sorry for your loss. I think bleeding after an MVA really varies - I didn't bleed but others have. I think you only have to be concerned if it's really heavy or if it doesn't ease up after a couple of weeks and you don't get a negative test.

So we officially started TTC again this weekend, I just can't believe we're here again when really I should have been 24 weeks this week. I feel ok about starting again though, excited albeit very nervous. I do, however, do things like think about how we'll tell our mums again next time, at which point and how it won't be exciting like it was last time, but I really need to not dwell on that!

Can I just say how nice it is to have you all to talk to, knowing that (sadly) we're all in the same boat and that we all know how each other are feeling 💕 Talking to friends/family isn't quite the same as they're not there with you.

How's everyone doing today? xx

Morning ladies! So no period yet 🤞 and also another strong positive test this morning

Re when to start with opks I would just start ASAP - I tend to ovulate earlier than the 14 days average anyway and I was all over the shop last month after the mmc. Once the cycles settle down you can cut back and work on what is “normal”.

I use both digital and cheapie ones. Digital every day and then cheapie ones when I get a flashing face - do the cheapies every view hours to catch the surge

Have watched a lot of stuff online and they all encourage me not to feel sad and stressed unless something bad actually happens so am trying to do that but it’s not easy

Sounding positive, @Ranoutofgoodnames! 🤞🏼 How many DPO are you? Can imagine how tough it must be, sending strength to you xx

@SkyBlue20 about 15 now I think but not entirely sure. Doctor decided to have another blood test so just waiting for that and will get the results tomorrow I think. I guess this will confirm if it is a chemical and also if I need to keep taking the progesterone pessaries

Lady above who said we can do this even if it goes wrong again thank you so much that gave me a real lift xx

@ranoutofgoodnames I'm really rooting for you.

Don't know what going on with me. Bleeding stopped on the 4th of june from MMC and today I've had pink blood and really bad stomach cramps. Maybe first AF is on her way although it's only been 3ish weeks since bleeding started

Anyone else dying to know what that deleted message said? 😂

@Ranoutofgoodnames I have my fingers crossed for you, hope the results come through nice and early!

@ew1990 Maybe ring the EPU and speak to them to see what they think? They may want to scan you in case of retained products or may be able to say it’s probably AF. Have you had a negative test?

@skyblue had a negative test last week. I work next door to EPU but I'm off this week so I might pop over next week

And it was a poster asking to decide between the 2 with 2 links to board games 😩

@SkyBlue20 I'd like to know too, what kind of a troll comes on a miscarriage board to have a message deleted. You got to be nasty to do that, but primarily stupid, as no one on here will take any shit, from anyone.

Oooh, I just saw ew's message, I see. No space for bots on here either 😂

@Ranoutofgoodnames I never thought of taking such a detailed approach to OPKs! But it makes sense - maybe I have missed the surge before as I have only done the cheaper kinds mostly (also had some CB ones and I never ever got a smiley on them, even the month that I got pregnant! But was only testing once a day.) Were you prescribed the progesterone pessaries on the NHS or did you go through private treatment? Good luck and I really hope you get your results swiftly!

@Poppy10121 I was military about it as decided to follow sperm meets egg to have the best chance, but ultimately it was all screwed up and I don’t actually have a real idea when I ovulated - so I reckon every other day is the safest bet when cycles aren’t settled down

Doing this with a doctor privately - can’t afford to have a private birth all the way through but the next stage for me will likely be ivf of some description as I am 40 and the reason for the miscarriage was a chromosome problem and my eggs are not getting any younger so I am willing to throw a bit of money at it to do all I can now xx

Getting strong lines at 15DPO sounds really positive @ranoutofgoodnames. What is the progesterone meant to help?

My Olvia app said I am entering my fertile window! Though as I wasn't tracking before I'm not sure how accurate it is. Husbamd got antibiotics for an infection from hospital yesterday, he's still feeling pretty rough but improving, though not sure when he will be ready to DTD.