Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

@ew1990 Ahh lovely - almost three is a nice age (hard work but nice!) Hope your TTC journey isn’t as long this time and you have thar BFP soon 💕

@RosieJess91sorry for your loss, and for what you’re going through now. I only joined this group very recently but have found it a real comfort, I’m sure you will too.

@ew1990 I also have a girl already which has helped the grief process hugely, even when I’ve felt sad or down I remind myself just how lucky I am to have her, it certainly made this whole process slightly easier in that sense. She’ll be 3 next weekend so I also now worry about the age gap coz we wanted 2-3 year gap, but hey life doesn’t always work out how you plan & that’s ok. My husbands cousin sent me a lovely letter after our loss (old school I know ) and it said ‘it is a difficult lesson to learn as you get older that your idea of how you imagined your life & relationships to be, is not necessarily how life turns out, however it doesn’t mean that what happens is not good.’ It really struck a chord with me & made me realise I have to accept whatever happens in life because it’s happened. As I said the other day one tiny positive out of all of this mess is how strong we’ll come out of it. It’s incredible what women can endure & come out the other side.

To add in on the age chat. I’m 34 now & my husband is almost 39 and it’s never worried me about that. Maybe I’m naive, but I just see it as we weren’t in a position to have children any sooner than we did, so we just have to not worry about it. Long as we’re all healthy & doing everything we can, we should all be fine & hopefully get our rainbow babies xx

I hope so for all of us. But I Think I'd have to pretend I wasn't pregnant till the 12 week scan if you know what I mean. I got so excited this time for another baby that I can't deal with the heartache again

@SkyBlue20 I'll be 34 later this year, DH is 37. There is a difference in statistics after 35, yes, but statistics are just that, numbers. We're under 35 and already on the "wrong" side of the statistics. It's meaningless. A successful pregnancy is a pot of luck and we have to keep trying, potentially with some medical help if needed.

Regarding pretending you're not pregnant till 12 weeks in the next pregnancy. I tried that approach and detached myself as much as possible. Trying not to think about the pregnancy is mentally exhausting in itself and only adds stress and anxiety. Besides, 12 weeks really isn't a magic guarantee everything will be ok. I think the only way to get through it is to take each day as it comes, without overthinking what's going to happen tomorrow.

@purple I never really thought about it like that. But thats good advice thank you

@SkyBlue20 not all different, I could (and have) dipped the same brand stick into the same pot and come out with different results. I had 2 Clear Blue dye tests come up positive, but really faint, just about visible, but a digital one negative. Surely heading towards 6 weeks, that would be positive by now?
Someone else mentioned that maybe because of the MMC I ovulated late and somehow picked up positives really early, so I'm really only 4 weeks now... don't understand it. 😫

@Sakura54 You asked for the photo of the pb+choc loaf, here's what's left of mine 😂 I just had a slice with strawberry jam for breakfast, I'm not even sorry cause it fills me up till lunchtime 😁

@RosieJess91 Unfortunately you have to wait a bit longer (I know it's not easy). It might be the case it's a chemical pregnancy, your description sounds very similar to my second early MC. However, if you put it into context that you're not long after a MC and you may have ovulated later then you have to wait and test again. I'd wair another 5-7 days and see what happens then, test with FMU.

@PurplePansy05 that looks amazing.

Re age, I'm 40. I had my first baby at 35, my second at 37 and my third at 39. I'm classed as a geriatric mother! If I do manage #4 I will be 41 when it is born (I probably would have been just 41 with the baby I lost).

@RosieJess91 it sounds very confusing. If you were 6 weeks, a digi one should pick it up, but if only 4, it might not. You could try a frer, as they are more sensitive, but if you're picking up a chemical pregnancy that won't help. Which tests gave you different results at the same time? Pink dye tests are generally more reliable than blue ones apparently.

@ew1990w I really tried to detach myself from this last pregnancy as I just was so anxious about something going wrong (I was convinced I was going to have a MMC...and I did) and tbh, it didn't really work - it's so hard as obviously it's all consuming with having to watch what you eat, what you drink, what you generally do, how you feel, etc etc etc.

@PurplePansy05 Very true about the stats and already being on the wrong side of them. I remember reading that your chance of a MC after seeing a heartbeat at seven weeks was like 2% and thinking that should reassure me... I'm in that 2%. You just cannot control it, can you? I'm a firm believer in what will be, will be - I just need to remind myself sometimes.
Your cake looks amazing!

@RosieJess91 Yes, that could be true - you may have ovulated later than you thought. I guess the only thing to do is to keep waiting and try another test but I know that's so much easier said than done. Hope you get some answers soon xx

How's everyone doing? I'm super busy with work, stressful day - not how a Friday should be! Looking forward to the weekend though and a big glass of wine tonight (am enjoying it while I can - that non-alcoholic stuff is rubbish 😂)

I think I'm going to try my best to avoid testing for at least a week and try again. It's been over a week since my small bleed, and I would have assumed a CP would have stopped showing up, but maybe not. Who knows. I'm going to try and be patient and just hope for the best.

Some tests have been cheapies off good old eBay (6 positives, a few negatives), some were Tesco ones that immediately came up positive, and then I read they're pretty good at giving false positives. I've used Clear Blue (2 positive, 1 negative), cheap ones from Sainsbury's (1 positive, 1 negative) and Asda (negative)... It was the cheap ones from eBay that I dipped 2 in the same cup, 1 negative, 1 positive. 🤷‍♀️

@RosieJess91
Oh I really feel for you, how bloody confusing :( Maybe try not to test again if you can for a week or so, keep busy etc, and then go from there? What a head f*#k!

I came on my period today exactly 4 weeks after MVA (although very light atm), so I feel relief that I can hopefully start trying again next week. When I joined this post & read people waiting 5,6,7 weeks after MC for their first period I got so down for a couple of days, so I hope this reassures people still waiting that it does come sooner for some. I’ll update again if it tails off, just in case.

Hello! I met some of you lovely ladies on the mmc thread on the miscarriage forum. My period returned about four weeks after surgical management and then somewhat unbelievably I got a positive pregnancy test a few days ago. Early days and I am terrified it is a chemical. Have had blood tests to confirm it and having another one on Monday. Also taking progesterone pessaries. Who knows if this beautiful little bean will stick but 🤞

So I am currently not ttc but still looking for a lot of support as I desperately check on the hour every hour that I haven’t started my period xx

Hi @ranoutofgoodnames, congratulations! I’m so thrilled for you, sending all sorts of love and positive vibes, hope this one sticks 💕 How many weeks are you now? I can only imagine how difficult and anxiety-ridden it is, do chat to us if it helps!

@RosieJess91 Hanging on for another week sounds like a good plan - should hopefully get some proper answers by then 🤞🏼

@Starfish762 Glad your period arrived and that it didn’t take too long! I’m excited for us all to start trying again, hoping for some BFPs soon 💕

@starfish762 I think I'm going insane!

My AF returned just over 4 weeks after my MMC, was glad not to wait as well, as it's hard enough going through that and then not knowing when you can try again.
The OH just doesn't quite seem to get it, tells me to stop buying more tests and just wait and see, but when it's your own body, it's not an easy ride waiting. Not knowing what's going on with your own body is just crazy.

Hiya @Ranoutofgoodnames I know what that's like, I've fully been expecting to bleed again over the last week. I hope you've got a sticky bean! You deserve one x

@Ranoutofgoodnames congratulations! So pleased to hear some happy news, sending positive vibes your way - I’m sure it’ll be just fine (but I can only imagine the anxiety you’re feeling!)

Congratulations @Ranoutofgoodnames, I remember you from the other thread, I've got everything crossed for you!

That sounds really confusing @rosiejess91. I had similar last week on my first cycle (faint positives Saturday to Thursday) spoke to the EPU who said it was a new pregnancy and test in a week but AF arrived on Friday (6 weeks ppat MMC). Tested on Sunday and negative so assumed it was a chemical. But the others are right, the miscarriage could have messed up your cycles so hopefully you ovulated later than you thought and this one is sticky 🤞

My husband is still suffering from his op and feeling terrible, made him ring the hospital tonight as his temp was 38, he's now off to get a covid test tomorrow. Work has been horrifically busy too so all that has distracted me a bit!

@Starfish762 and @ew1990 I've got a girl too, she has been a good distraction and this experience has made me realise how lucky I am to have her. She starts her settling in sessions at nursery the week after next (DHs covid test dependant!) and I'm not sure who will find it harder when she starts full time, me or her! Seeing her run around like a nutter all day has kept me smiling

@workingmama was you on the Christmas babies thread? I can't remember. Sorry to you.

Hope everyone else is ok. I'm rubbish at remembering who has posted what when I'm typing

@workingmama1 the only reason I'm confused and not putting it down to a CP immediately is because I feel pregnant. I feel different, and why would I have a light period for only 25 hours?

I hope your husband feels better soon ☹

Hi all! How is everyone? Finally Friday... I am so bloody knackered this week.
Congratulations @ranoutofgoodnames that's wonderful news - please stay here and chat! It's lovely to hear postive stories and we will keep you sane in this first bit if you need us to!

Welcome to the new people. I am sorry to find yourself here but it's good to have a place to talk.

I think I am ovulating this week - Dp doesn't want to know as he has some romantic notion that it's miracle that will just happen. I just don't tell him - I mean he must notice my sudden increase in sex drive but he doesn't complain! Wish me luck! I'm temping and feeling very bloated which is always a sign for me.

Madly I am still getting postive pregnacy tests after the MC despite ovulating last month and having a period. It's been 7/8 weeks now. Got a couple of negatives about 10 days ago (I think - losing track) but tested again for some reason yesterday (just saw the tests when I sat down on the loo so did one - I think I'm addicted now) and it's was bloody postive - so did another FRER and it was also faint postives. Insane. Bloods were at 4 two weeks ago so no idea why tests are picking it up as it must be so low by now. Dr says women can just menstruate normally with Hcg so I guess that's me?!

Anyway! Anyone else predicting ovulating this week?

Xxxxxxx

It’s a funny one. I am still quite sad and having the miscarriage during lockdown made the experience massively difficult as many of you will know so I feel like I am not over all that. And yet I am also happy and excited and scared and stressed about the new potential baby

@Smilingdonkey sorry if this is insensitive but are you sure there is no chance it could be a new pregnancy?

I am very worried that my tests are picking up “old” hcg. But I did get a negative test after the miscarriage. I am still worried about it now - will know when I get a fresh blood test on Monday 🤞

@ranoutofgoodnames I'm certain it's not no. I don't see how it could be with dates etc.

I think it's normal to be nervous. And normal to worry. But liklihood is that it will all work out!
Sound like waiting until Monday is a guide plan. Are your lines stronger? Is it worth taking a digital? What were your Hcg levels in your bloods? Xxxxxx

Lines are getting a bit stronger but so hard to tell. Digitals ass saying pregnant 1-2 weeks. Hcg was at just over 15 on about nine dpo

Any ideas? I am so stressed about all this and I just don’t know!!

Was not ass 😳😂😂