Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

@purplepansy05 I didn’t really have any bleeding afterwards I don’t think, I was really surprised. In fact, I felt absolutely fine afterwards (physically), MUCH better than I felt after the (failed) medical management (I think it was the codeine that made me really ill - they gave me a lower dosage for the MVA).

I didn’t take a test before the three weeks as I think seeing a positive would have been too upsetting so didn’t want to risk it, I think that’s completely a personal decision though. Same with the TTC immediately or waiting for a period - I mentioned above that I’m waiting (very impatiently) for my period first as I think being unsure about dates would be too stressful for me.

Your weekend sounds lovely. Tonight’s just been chilled for us, too. Off to bed shortly, have been exhausted all of this week, not sure how I’m ever meant to get up super early to commute in to work again - I rolled out of bed at 8:45am today 😂🙈

Hi @SkyBlue20. Oh dear, I couldn't sleep at all. I think it's really shaken me yesterday to hear that my trauma after the medical management was understandable, justified, there's an explanation for it and it could have been so easily avoided. These memories I don't want to think about came back and I was lying in bed trying to process all that. I'm exhausted today.

I understand what you mean re testing early and waiting for your period, I was the same after my first one. I actually saw my baby then and it was hard emotionally. Now because it's blighted ovum, I'm more relaxed about testing. My dates are also slightly off every time because I have 32-ish day cycles and ovulate around day 21-22, so I can never truly work it out from LMP anyway! It's always been a nightmare with all my scans. Remember your ovulation might move slightly after the miscarriage, so some sort of tracking or regular sex throughout a longer window might help. Xx

@Workingmama1 Sorry you think you’ve had a CP. Hopefully now you’ll be able to see what’s what when you stop bleeding. They said CPs are rare? That doesn’t really mean anything to us seeing as MMCs are supposedly rare too.

Hi again @PurplePansy05 glad your MVA went well and that you’ve moved over to this thread. Some of us are still waiting for our first AF or have just had it so still somewhat early days. I only bled properly shortly after my MVA and then barely anything for the next few days. I then waited for my first period as recommended. Wasn’t told to take a pregnancy test @Knittinggurl sorry you find yourself here.

@SkyBlue20 I’ll just have to see if my next AF arrives on time as I highly doubt I’ll get pregnant straightaway anyway. If it doesn't it'll be annoying. I’m not ready this month due to using a new medicine, but of course not going to prevent it from happening. No idea if I will even ovulate. We still think it’s best to not be pregnant ATM but DH is saying ‘if it happens, it happens’ lol.

So I suppose this is Cycle 1 for me! I've never looked at it in terms of cycles, just how many months it took. Counting cycles makes it sound like it takes me longer to get pregnant! Cycle 6 (!) for DS (although I wasn't even using tracking apps and possibly had a CP), then Cycle 3 for the MMC.

Hang in there @WildflowerPetals it’s a long time to wait but hopefully it’ll come soon for you. I don’t think you need to worry just yet.

@mrsAndeke I know how you feel; it seems like everyone I know is pregnant and every time I hear someone else's good news it kills me a bit. I just want it to be my turn :(

It's been ten days since I had my MVA and I've barely had any bleeding - I filled a pad that afternoon but since then I'd barely even call it spotting. Anyone have any idea if that's a problem? I'm happy not to be bleeding but slightly concerned it means there'll be retained tissue.

Why would no bleeding be a sign of retained tissue? I think if anything, it's a good sign. From previous experience after medical management, bleeding lasts for a while and there's lots of clotting if any tissue still needs to leave the uterus. Not sure if it's the same with MVA, but I'm following this logic and it feels quite reassuring. If I'm wrong, please shout.

I did have quite a bit of cramping and pain after my MVA and bled for nearly 2 weeks, I just believe everyone is different, I don't think everyone experiences the same things, if you do feel uninsured just call your GP/EPU

@sakura54 I was surprised when she said chemicals were rare as I thought they were quite common but a lot of the time women just don't realise it. If they are rare I guess I've just been unlucky to have a MMC then a CP straight after.

My period flow is very heavy today so I think that confirms a CP. I'll probably test tomorrow as it should be negative by then i think.

We had to drop my husband at hospital this morning at 7am so an early start. But he has just rang and they have done his operation which is good. He's not home until tomorrow so it's just me and my daughter today. Wish the weather was nicer so I could take her somewhere now we're not in isolation!

For those deciding whether to wait a cycle or not in hindsight I wish I had. It was very confusing starting to get positives not not being sure when I should be seeing strong lines as I had no idea on dates! However, I believe there is no guarantee tour cycle will be normal even after one period so it might not help!

I didn't have an MVA but I would have thought little bleeding is a good sign. I think with retained tissue the bleeding can continue as your uterus tried to flush it out?

@Sakura54 Thanks, I’m trying not to worry about it but it’s hard when you hear of most people getting theirs at/before 6 weeks. But I’ve also read you can skip a period after a miscarriage so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see! Hope you’re well x

@itssquidstella I’m finding it hard with people who are due around the same time I was. My close friend (who I work with) is due just 2 weeks after I was - I see her every day with her growing bump and people talking to her about baby things. I just keep thinking “That should be me”.

I also find it hard when people have unplanned pregnancies or smoke/drink when they’re pregnant and still end up with a healthy baby. Me and DH have known for years we wanted a baby and would try after we got married (August 2019), I took all the vitamins, didn’t drink a drop and have never smoked, so now it just seems cruel we’ve had to go through this (before anyone thinks it - I’m in no way saying those with unplanned pregnancies don’t deserve healthy babies!) x

@WildflowerPetals I feel exactly the same - so many people I went to school with who I know smoked and drank through pregnancy (I went to quite a rough school!) and have popped out endless babies seemingly without issue, and I can't even seem to manage one :(

A colleague/friend is due when I would have been from the first mc, and another friend is due when I would have been from this most recent one, which seems doubly unfair.

Really hoping I get pregnant again quickly and it sticks; we're trying immediately rather than waiting for my period to come.

I was under the impression that if the bleeding is prolonged then that is indication that there may be retained product? That certainly happened with me. Eventually I think my body just expelled it one night sitting on the sofa. That was pretty traumatic. That happened over a month, maybe even 2 after my D&C. I bled almost every day from November to Feb.

I'm 10DPO today of 2nd month of trying, and holding out til AF before I test.

@itssquidstella Yeah exactly! I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from. It just seems so unfair.

That must be really hard for you, it’s a constant reminder of where you could’ve been isn’t it 😔

I’m waiting for my period before we start TTC again just because I think not knowing a possible due date would make me (even more) anxious.

I hope it all works out for you this time x

@Workingmama1sorry to hear what you’re going through, hope you’re okay.

@itssquidstella I’m the same as you with barely any bleeding. I had my MVA & had light spotting for 2 days. A week after that light spotting on the odd day, then 2 weeks after that (so 3 weeks after MVA) I’ve had the odd spotting on the odd day, usually dark brown, but it’s brighter red & more of if if I’ve gone for a number 2 (TMI, sorry ladies!) It is strange, but I’m just assuming it will be strange until my body gets back to normal.

Fingers crossed we don’t have to wait the full 6 weeks for our first periods. What is the abbreviation AF everyone is using? I think it means first period, but not sure what it stands for.

Hi @Starfish762 AF stands for Aunty Flow or period.

Hi everyone!
Hope you are all ok?
Sorry I've been rather absent. I've found this week hard. I had my period and was still getting positive tests??!! I had the bloods done and it was really low (4) and today finally got a negative 7 weeks, 1 ovulation and 1 period after my ERPC... It's mad! The doctor did say it could have been a chemical but who knows. They said it is possible to ovulate with low levels of Hcg. But first response and easy@home ICs were picking it up easily even on the day of the blood test! Worth buying the easy@home tests as they are clearly very sensitive!

@workingmama1 I think CPs are really common? I've had 2 now... Were you told they were rare? I'm sorry you've had such a rollercoaster too xxx

Anyway I'm temping again and due to ovulate in a week or so but I think I'm going to suggest every other day sex for a bit! I feel like it might come a bit early for some reason. Pretty sure Dp won't mind! Although he had to go for a covid test this morning as he has a cough...

It's nice to feel excited again though xxxxx

Had some blood when I wiped just now so it looks like my period is finally arriving 🙌🏼 6 weeks and 4 days after MC! So relieved x

@Smilingdonkey glad you're feeling excited again.
@AlisonLew15 fx for you, well done for waiting to test - I've always been terrible at that!

Fx for everyone waiting for periods, I've had 2 since my SMM - the first was not fun, but the second was better, not quite back to normal, but less painful and heavy. I'm expecting af#3 in a few days, so hopefully that will be better still. Though I expect I'll feel just as sad about it, I found it a constant reminder.

Feeling sad today as one of the mums from the group I joined when I had my first is pregnant and due just a couple of weeks later than I would have been, and she posted her scan pic. I'm so happy for her, particularly as she's had a difficult time and also lost a baby, but just seeing that scan pic, reminded me about my scan.

@WildflowerPetals fingers crossed its your period, its funny how after TTC and then a miscarriage that we get excited to see signs of blood!

Although I am quite sick of the sight of blood right now, I bled for 3 weeks ppst MMC and now on day 3 of first period. I've not used tampons either, I know it's not advised to aftet MC so not sure if its the same for a CP? Seeing blood has made me a little aad as its bringing back memories of the MC. Make the mistake of making playdough with red food colouring, my kitchen looked like a murder scene!

@Smilingdonkey I thought it was weird the EPU said CPs are rare.... glad your levels are ba k to normal and you can feel excited again.

Off to catch up but just had to say... MY PERIOD ARRIVED TODAY! 🥳 I’m absolutely thrilled - and glad I can explain why I felt SO low yesterday! That’s five weeks and two days post-MVA. I don’t know my cycles for sure but thought it was about five weeks so it seems to be on time... so here we go all over again!

@PurplePansy05 How’re you doing?

@itssquidstella as the other said, I think not bleeding after your MVA is fine - I think prolonged and heavy bleeding is the worry.

@Workingmama1 How’re you feeling? Did you do a test? How did your husband’s op go?

@WildflowerPetals I know what you mean about it being hard when you see people get pregnant despite doing the things they ‘shouldn’t’ - a member of my family drinks far too much and does all sort of drugs and fathered two kids (to the same mum, who also drank a fair bit but stopped for the most part when she found out she was pregnant) in the space of 19 months. It just seemed so easy for them despite all of that yet I followed every rule and it didn’t go our way. I adore his kids so hand on heart don’t begrudge them but it just feels unfair, doesn’t it?!
Yay to your period arriving, too - it’s such a relief, isn’t it?! Onwards for us!

@Smilingdonkey Sounds like you’ve been on a rollercoaster ride, glad you have had your negative now and you can start to move forward. Hope your partner’s Covid test comes back soon and is negative!

Sending love, @Threnody. I think things like that will affect us all unexpectedly and in different ways for a while but it’s perfectly normal and it’s ok to feel happy for someone but also a bit sad, too.

How have everyone’s weekends been? Xx

@SkyBlue20 Happy for you 😘 Bang on the same time as me after my first one. It was a long wait but such a relief!

I'm good, had a productive weekend, went for a walk and a socially distanced visit at my friends' garden. Decluttered two massive drawers in our bedroom and one with medicines etc. It feels good to refresh something, you know. It's the new era now, a fresh start. Next thing on the list, going through all my clothes to give some away for charity. Then a long-awaited haircut, hopefully soon! I'm on fire.

Feeling ok physically, although I am cramping a bit more than yesterday. No bleeding, just a bit of blood in urine, but that's all. At the moment it's not even period-like cramps, just feeling a bit sore down there, as if my uterus was shrinking. Which it probably is, I guess it is probably slightly inflamed and enlarged after an invasive procedure. How are you feeling today? Xx

Hi all, sorry to jump on but it wouldnt let me post my own threads?

So its very early days but I'm seeking advice in advance.
Had a missed miscarriage (found out at 9 weeks but had died at 7+1) and actually had the physical loss yesterday.
I'm wondering how soon anyone decided to TTC? I was hoping asap.
I'm very anxious about being pregnant again but eager.
It was my first miscarriage so was quite a shock as I had an early scan to confirm viability and do have 2 healthy children with the most simple pregnancies.
Good luck to all TTC!
Thankyou.

@skyblue20 yay for your period! Husbands op went ok thank you, but he's struggling with side effects of the general anesthetic which is odd as he's never had an issue before. He's home but feeling very sorry for himself.

Hi @qbecky, sorry for your loss. I think there is a mixture of approaches on TTC again, most seem to be waiting for their first period. But, apart from dating I don't think there is any reason to try straight away (as long as you have stopped bleeding and you are feeling emotionally and physically ready). I tried straight away but unfortunately seem to have had a CP, though couldn't say if it was related or bad luck.

Sounds loke a productive weekend @PurplePansy05! Hopefully the cramping will die down soon and that will be it for you...

@workingmama1 thankyou very much for your reply. So sorry I'm also very new to all of this. I don't have regular periods (infact I bleed 24/7) had only recently been discharged from gynaecologist as the bleeding had miraculously stopped (was pregnant but had no idea) I've had all the tests you could possibly think of regarding the bleeding but the only reason they gave was my body reacting to contraception (I've been on them all)... they recommended I came off everything for 6 months to see if the bleeding would settle itself out but I obviously fell pregnant beforehand. We weren't trying when I fell pregnant this time but we'd always wanted a third and since this we couldn't be anymore desperate for our third. I just dont have a clue regarding the dos and don'ts of everything and with the current pandemic I'm a little lost as to where to turn.

Thanks for the reassurance, everyone. I'm really hoping my cycle gets back to normal quickly; they were longer than normal after the mc in January so not sure what to expect, really!