Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

Oh, @workingmama1, I'm so sorry, it must be so hard. How long has it been since you first tested now? Sending huge hugs and lots of strength, I hope you get some answers soon xx

@Chatbash72, So sorry for your loss - it's awful how many women go through this, it really is. Also sending you lots of strength - we women are stronger than we know xx

@JoJo58995, I'm really sorry, I can't advise on that but if you feel anything is wrong, don't hesitate to just keep calling the EPU and push for whatever you think it is that you might need - even if it's just a check up with them. I'm glad you have a supportive team at work - do take time off if you can and feel it would help with the mental health side of it all, though I know others like to keep working and stay busy, so whatever you need. Hope it all starts tailing off soon for you xx

Sounds like a miserable day all around, sending positive thoughts, strength and love to everyone - miscarriage really is a b*tch. xx

Hello ladies, sorry to hear things aren’t improving for a lot of you. I’m in the same boat, 3 weeks post MVA today and still getting faint positives. They are a lot more faint than last week though. I had just had it in my head that today I could start fresh and I’m frustrated that I still can’t.

I started tracking BBT again a few days ago and it’s relatively high still, similar to post ovulation temps so I don’t think the progesterone is back to normal levels yet. 3 months of wasted time now, makes it almost 6 months since we decided to start trying for #2. I never thought it would take this long!

Hi ladies, just checking in. I’ve been reading the thread every now and again. Hope you’re all doing okay.

I was 6 weeks post MC yesterday - still no sign of my period. When I had MM I was told it could take up to 10 weeks to return but I’m starting to worry a bit now. I’ve been getting some twinges/light cramps in my lower stomach for a weekish but still no period x

Hi ladies, sorry I've been away for a day or so, I've been struggling a bit as we decided not to ttc this month, and I'm just feeling very frustrated and impatient with everything.

Hello @Wildflowerpetals, @littletandme, @Chatbash72, @Snausage, @Starfish762 , I'm sorry for your losses.

@workingmama1 I'm sorry
you are still not sure what is happening. It must be so difficult.

@littletandme it's so frustrating that feeling of time going by, isn't it.

@JoJo58995 my bleeding started off really light, with not much pain for a few days, then got much heavier and more painful. It only lasted a couple of weeks for me, luckily, then I had a break of about 4 days then my period came! I hope your bleeding stops soon, and definitely ring epu if you need to.

Absolutely @SkyBlue20 We should all be taking folic acid, but I haven’t been bothered yet seeing as I took it for all that time thinking I was pregnant. I did get some new ones though as my other ones were out of date lol left over from TTC DC1. It’s still ok to take though. I didn’t even get the chance to buy pregnancy multivitamins this time...

Tbh I’m thinking maybe even after getting AF and then TTC, it will still be confusing if a 2nd AF doesn’t come on time the month after, due to cycles still regulating?

Yes it’s annoying going shopping these days. I’ve been trying to avoid supermarkets and going to other local places instead ie wholesalers but there’s only so much you can get from these places.

Sorry you find yourself here @Starfish762 That does seem too early to get AF. Possibly ovulation cramps and spotting? Is it still occurring today? My AF came 27 days after my MVA and has just about finished. No idea if I ovulated though.

@Workingmama1 when are you calling your GP? It sounds so confusing.

I am struggling today ladies....just found out my cousin expecting a month after I was and she just posted on Facebook and I just broke down...I thought I was doing so well but nope....fell apart...anyone else gone through this?

@littletandme So sorry it’s taking so long - this whole thing seems to be such a waiting game, it’s so unfair.

@WildflowerPetals Up to 10 weeks?! I repeat what I said about this all being so unfair. The wait is awful, isn’t it? I’ll be five weeks tomorrow since my MVA and no signs whatsoever. Hope it shows up for us both soon.

@Threnody Must be hard deciding to wait the month. How long until your next period when you can get going again? No more than three or four weeks I imagine, it’ll be here before you know it ☺️ (Easier said than lived, I know!)

@Sakura54 I got my folic acid tablets out and will be starting them again tonight, it was nice to even get them out and feel like I was doing something! Need to get some more though as only have about a week’s worth left. Yes, you’re right about 2nd AF. Urgh, I hate how uncertain this all is!!

@mrsAndeke I’m so sorry, that’s so hard. It’s completely normal that you would feel like that, especially if it’s someone you are close to. Just do whatever you feel you need to do to protect yourself and know that it’s an expected reaction. Sending love.

@Smilingdonkey Did you get your bloods back from the doctor? Hope you’re ok xx

@Chatbash72 sorry you find yourself here, hope that the bleeding calms down soon

@mrsandeke it's hard seeing people around you going through their pregnancy even if you are happy for them. So far noone I know has announce but have several pregnant friends and I didnt react well seeing Rochelle Humes announce hers on Instagram and I don't even know her!

@WildflowerPetals I think 6 weeks is still in the relms of normal but that doesn't make it any less frustrating! I can't remember if you started TTC or not?

I'm feeling less down and trying to take a what will be will be attitude (work has been super busy today so had no time to dwell on things which has helped). I rang the EPU but I think they thought I was just a crazy person when I was like what if what I thought was negatove actually wasn't? She said if I got a negative it was a new pregnancy, if it's really early that might be why the line didn't get stronger and that chemical pregnancys were rare and to test in a week. So no clearer on what is going on! I'm preparing myself for it being a chemical, especially as my RHR dropped again today (normally 65, went up to 75 and now 71) but then randomly today started feeling nauseous which is odd...no more tests in the house so, might try and order some on amazon though for the weekend of AF doesn't arrive.

@SkyBlue20 Yeah, when I had MM they told me up to 10 weeks but everywhere online seems to say up to 6 (even the NHS website) so I’m a bit confused. I might ring my GP next week if my period still hasn’t started x

@Workingmama1 No we’ve not started TTC again yet, I’ve been waiting for my first period. Which makes it all the more frustrating that I’m still waiting now x

How are we all today?

So looks like AF is making an appearance, blood when I wiped first thing and now a medium flow has started. So think I've probably had a CP 😪. I'm sad but not devastated as I didnt really get my hopes up for this one.

Not looking forward to the next few days as I know the first period after a miscarriage can be pretty rough, add a CP into the mix and it could be even worse!

Hopefully at least my body can start to regulate now.

@Workingmama1 I am so sorry your are going through this! But hopefully can start a fresh after AF, I have also just started AF and I'm just an emotional wreck, I though I was so well but I'm just going to do some exercise to hope that helps with the pain and zen myself with some Yoga.

Life can just be a bit sh*t sometimes xx

Sending love, @Workingmama1, I'm so sorry. Hope the next few days aren't too tough and you can have a fresh start after everything you have been through.

@mrsAndeke Sending love to you, too. Look after yourself and focus on the future - you're stronger than you know and you will get through it.

xxx

Hello all.

Very sorry for your losses.

Tentatively saying hi, I've had my third consecutive loss and have just gone through my MVA today. Not rushing things and haven't decided yet whether to try again before my Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic (RMC) appointment, but it would be nice to chat. If anyone here is also going through recurrent miscarriage, please reach out - it's been quite a journey. Xx

@purplepansy05 Lovely to see you over here. How did the MVA go? xx

Hello @SkyBlue20 thank you 😊

It went great. A bit unpleasant, but I have a high pain threshold generally, and certainly after my first loss. I spoke at length to the nurses and the consultant who concluded that I am clearly allergic to misoprostol (medical management after my first loss was pretty traumatic).

They've put it in my notes and proceeded with the MVA without giving me misoprostol before. Thank god for that! It was like a lengthy smear test combined with gynae examination, that's how it felt physically. We've been chatting throughout and it really helped. I didn't even need gas & air. They said I did fantastically well, gave me biscuits and a cuppa. Honestly, I am so grateful, they've been amazing. Such a difference to how I was treated after my first loss. I think poor attitudes and the physical trauma have really affected me, whereas now, I'm OK. Obviously it's not nice. But I know I can deal with it.

I'm home, recovering, have a slight pulling sensation, but nothing major. The consultant scanned me immediately after and was confident there was nothing left in the uterus, so this should be the conclusion. It was blighted ovum this time, ie no actual baby. The sac and placenta will now be sent off for genetic testing.

I am so glad to be able to draw a line after this. Good care and the right management make a world of difference. I wish I had known what I know now when I was going through my first loss. Xx

@PurplePansy05 so sorry you have been through that but they seem to have been very thorough with you. How did they think that you may be allergic to misoprostol? I had two doses of the medical management at the end of last year. Two very different experiences with it. Neither worked. First I didn't really feel anything with and second was absolute agony. Ended up with D&C in January anyway. Just started Trying again now xx

Hi @AlisonLew15. In my case, I had 4 tablets at once vaginally. Within less than 30 minutes I started feeling extremely unwell, I had brainfog, I was shivering, pretty sure I had fever, or it felt like that. I then went on to have a dreadful delivery, contractions were so painful that I thought I'd die, and as I said, I'm quite tough - never moan about pain. Before I even realised I was sick, so sick that it felt like norovirus. It lasted hours. It took me months to recover mentally from this ordeal. When I described it to them today they were pretty clear it was more than a side effect and that I'm likely hypersensitive to it and should not be given it going forward. I was advised if I go through another loss to specifically say that I am not able to have it.

How are you doing now? Xx

That sounds very similar to my second dose. I'm usually pretty good with pain too, or so I thought. The contractions were constant a couple of hours after the tablets were inserted, they got so bad after 8 hours that my husband rushed me to A&E (on NYE) where I was put on a morphine drip. Never once did they mention about an allergy, I just assumed I'd had a bad experience.
Definitely agree that it took me a long time to get over it, probably still traumatised by it now. Nervous that it's going to happen again the next time xx

@AlisonLew15 I know exactly what you mean, I thought it was my "fault" I dealt with it so poorly, but definitely not. I think if you're quite resilient you have the tendency to try to justify it, but if that's what's happened to you, it's likely too much. You don't have to go through it again, don't be scared. There are other management options which might suit you better. Definitely worth raising this if you ever have to go through a miscarriage again. I am feeling like a different woman today and I cannot believe the difference between the horror I've been through before and now. To be clear, it doesn't take away from the pain of anyone who had a successful MVA or D&C, what I mean is that my first experience was so bad it's messed me up and it turns out it could have been avoided. You don't know what's best for you until you go through it yourself, unfortunately. Xx

Hello all, can I join please? So sorry to hear everyone's stories. Just had a MMC at 9 weeks, the baby had stopped growing at 6. I am still bleeding but hoping to get back on the horse
soon as I'm on the older side.... Is everyone waiting for their first period to come before TTC again? Or just going for it straightaway? Also, I haven't been told to take a pregnancy test at any point, should I be doing this three weeks after the bleeding stops? Do you need a negative before you can try again?

@PurplePansy05 I’m so sorry to hear what you went through, heartbreaking :( I second what you said about the MVA though. I’ve only had one miscarriage thankfully, but after speaking to several friends who had medical management, I decided I couldn’t even take the risk of experiencing what they did. Because of covid I couldn’t be put to sleep which is what I would’ve chosen, so I was really worried about the MVA but it was absolutely fine! The staff were AMAZING talked to me before, during & after, it wasn’t traumatic at all which I put down completely to the support I had. My husband wasn’t at any of my scans or the MVA obviously, but the staff made it feel like I knew them. If anyone is on here reading this before deciding which option to go down, I hope this helps.

@Knittinggurl Welcome, so sorry for your loss. The first nurse I saw told me to do a pregnancy test 3 weeks after my MVA & if it was positive to call in, but the nurse on the day who looked after me said they’ve just changed that procedure because 99.9% of the tests come back negative, so it wasn’t necessary. I done one this morning anyway for peace of mind, it was negative so just waiting for my period now. I want to try asap but I’m going to follow the advice of waiting until after first period, just to give my cycle a chance to get back to normal, and so it can be dated properly when we do fall. As desperate as I am to start, I figure what’s a few more weeks.

@Starfish762 Thank you. I'm glad your MVA went well too. I think it's a very personal choice, but I know I'd go with MVA again too. Or D&C, I guess, I just go a bit crazy after general anaesthetic 😂

What's everyone doing this weekend?

@purplepansy05 I’m glad it went as well as it could and that your treatment by staff was so much better. Must be a relief. Hope you recover well.

@AlisonLew15 I’m so sorry you had such a terrible experience 💕

@Knittinggurl I’m so sorry for your loss 💕 Like @Starfish762, I was told to take a test after three weeks and call if it wasn’t negative. I too am waiting for my period before TTC again for dating purposes though I know everyone is doing it differently on here.

Just had a takeout from a place local to us and am having a wine, no plans tomorrow and then Sunday is my little brother’s birthday (he’s primary school age), so we’ll pop by for a socially distanced hello and to drop off his pressie. what’s everyone else up to?

Five weeks today since my MVA and still no period 😒

Can I ask those of you who had MVA, how long was your bleeding afterwards?

I only had a little bit of spotting and a tinge of blood when wiping, no actual bleeding and no pain, just this pulling sensation which has now disappeared.

Is this it or am I supposed to expect a period-like bleeding over the next few days? I'm really confused.

Also, are you going to TTC as soon as the bleeding stops?

I was told to take a pregnancy test after 3 weeks just in case. Thinking whether to take one earlier?

PS - tonight was just chill, with pizzas and Michael Jordan documentary on Netflix. Tomorrow I'm rearranging my home office and treating my hubby to a cream tea. Healthy eating back on from Monday! Xx