Getting my hopes up again.. ttc sucks!!

[Mich2020]

Morning, I'm now 11dpo, been trying to conceive for 15 months now.. I feel like It's never going to happen. On the waiting list for a lap and dye for endometriosis and possible pcos. I've taken a frer this morning and a cheapie. I'm sure there's a hint of a second line on the frer and the cheapie has been left for a while so counting it as an evap line. I don't know how many more months I can feel like this. I thought this month was it. Anyone see a line on my frer??

Haha that's right. You wouldn't think this would be my third baby. My youngest is 8 with a different partner. Don't remember ever being worked up like this with my other two 🙈 I'm also very crampy, all my right side and to the middle is very sore and I keep stopping in my tracks to catch my breath when the pain comes. My boobs are bigger and I am extremely tired. Although that could be down to still working. When's your AF due?xx

@mich2020 I keep checking your thread now 🤞

All signs sound really promising and you still have a line 💖

@PinkFlamingoGirl today's line is much more obvious in person, and it's pinker. Came up at about 2-3 minutes. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but last time I had a dud frer the next day was completely stark white not a hint of a second line. So I'm taking this as some sort of hope 🤞🏻 xx

I think that's what I had, a dud 🙄!

I can totally understand you not wanting to get your hopes up as it's early but I can see it on both. Fingers crossed it sticks xx

Makes you feel awful doesn't it. DP won't believe these silly faint lines now until it's in writing on a digital. He's very cautious of it all. Thank you so much. And I hope next month is your month. Hope we can still carry on chatting x

Joining you with the tiredness- I've had 2 naps today! Af is due Thursday. I checked my cheap strip and once it dried there wasn't really a line but my cheap stick I've added was clearer so it's really real 🙈 both are still faint though so don't worry it's perfectly normal at this far along. But I get what you mean when your oh isn't jumping for joy and is being cautious.

I know what you mean about duds, I had a spell of loads of evaps on frer but i never get anything on the wilko ones unless I'm actually pg so they are my benchmark! And evaps are never coloured so if you can see pink then trust it!

@Sammyclaire22 eeek exciting congratulations 🥳 I have some clearblue being delivered tomorrow so I won't test again until they turn up..xx

My IC this morning is negative.. does this mean I'm out and the frer were all evap lines? Clearblue are coming today but not sure what time x

😤😤

I'm not very familiar with IC I'm afraid. Update when the clear blue arrive x

@Mich2020 absolutely not. IC are crap. I had to have a very strong line on a FRER before I saw a hint on an IC...

@NoCallerID that gives me some hope x

My frers have faded.. I can still see the most faintest line but I thought they are meant to stay.. I don't know. I think I could be out this month tbh. Feeling pretty down and depressed today 😟😟 x

@Sammyclaire22 have you tested again today? Xx

Hi @mich2020 yes I've done a frer today, it's stronger than the one day before yesterday. If you saw pink then yours can't have been evaps, but fading lines usually aren't great news. It still might be weaker urine etc but when I had that a couple of months ago it was a chemical and I bled a few days later for longer than normal.
Its really rubbish if this is the case for you, but I tried to keep the positive that a) a sperm met the egg and b) it implanted long enough to produce detectable hcg. Those are 2 massive hurdles. It's hard to remember that so many pregnancies end early before most women ever even know and we only do as we test early. Sending lots of love and hope it's not the case for you x

Eek that's exciting news for you 😊😊 yes they were definitely pink, although very faded I can still see a pint of pink now. Just would have thought the line would have stayed. I know they are good hurdles to get over which will keep me positive if this all goes wrong. I'm due AF tomorrow usually but my app says Friday so anytime really. If anything on my clearblue later I will relax a bit but now I'm not feeling so positive. It feels as this will never happen for me. I was in agony last night, I suffer badly with endometriosis and I fell asleep last night and got woken up by the most horrific pain ever. Was in tears for around an hour. Managed to fall asleep again and when I've woken up today it's eased a little but still not great. I don't suffer with period pain until I actually bleed so I know it's the endo flaring up. Just wish all this covid 19 stuff was over and then I can have my lap and dye op done and then hopefully my chances will become better. Partner is 10 years older than me so time is not on his side. He has a child that is 7 from previous relationship. Time is ticking and I really wanted my last child before I was 30 which is only a year and a half away x

Clearblue turned up. ☹️☹️☹️

It's not fine. Everything is not fine. I'm falling apart, I'm braking, I'm knowing this is never going to happen. Today's been a great day. We've walked we've laughed. We've had a good time. But this is now getting to me. It's been so long, I feel shit and I feel this is never going to happen ever. Sorry to rant but I feel shit.

I'm so sorry @Mich2020, please don't give up hope. I know how you feel, I've been there before and right now it's OK to feel shit as life has brought you up then sent you crashing back down. Just remember that you DID conceive, that's a huge step forward. I know it isn't much consolation now and it doesn't answer the question of when will you hold your own baby though. Sending you lots of hugs xx

@Sammyclaire22 thanks lovely. I can't stop crying. I feel so shit. Having a proper moment.xx

It's OK to cry- only a couple of months ago I sat on the floor in my work toilet and ugly cried when af came and I was sure I was pg. It's shit. Wallow today and as long as you need, get a big bar of chocolate and a strong drink if you want one and chuck something crap on the TV to try and loose yourself in xx

@Mich2020 but there's a line on the clear blue!? Can you get a FRER? Amazon?

@mich2020 I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better but I just want you to know that I care and I'm so sorry. Sending big hugs.

I never usually see the lines on these threads but I could see something without fully opening the picture.