6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

@PinkFlamingoGirl I’ve only told my 2 friends .... I think if I tell more people I’ll jinx myself and it won’t happen lol silly really ....

@Twinkletoes85 Thanks so much for starting this thread! I'm new to this, and sometimes not as active as I'd like to be on here, but this chat REALLY helped me out these past few days.

Some of my friends know, and only the 2 who really struggled to get pregnant ask how it's going, which I don't mind because it was always on their minds when they were trying, so I guess they know it's always on mine too.

But, yes, sooooo many insensitive and sometimes hurtful comments. My mum keeping hinting and asking, and I know she means well, but I just don't want to get my parents' hopes up but telling them we're trying. They live far, and usually we just text, so when lockdown started and I suggested a Zoom call as I knew I wouldn't be seeing them for a while, they just assumed we had an announcement to make and got all excited. Not nice feeling like we're letting them down

@bree2212 I know what you mean! I wasn’t sure at the beginning of all this if I was or not and had to tell my manager and another team member as they were decided who got to wfh first. Now I feel like that’s too many people on top of my mum and my friend 🤷🏼‍♀️

@PinkFlamingoGirl haha don’t worry about the @ 😊 sounds like you’ve got good friends there. But I agree it does help to be able to talk on here about things that aren’t as easy to talk about in real life

@beachbum85 aww I can relate to what you said about your Mum expecting an announcement. I told my mum last year we would think about starting a family this year and soooo many of my friends are pregnant which ive told her about and although she never has made a comment about me, I can tell she's wondering 🙈 I feel the same though, you feel like you let people down. Which is madness and also a pressure we don't need to put on ourselves, but we do. Hugs to you, that really resonated with me.

@bree2212 that's exactly why I deleted my MN account. I've deleted the app loads of times but last month I went full bhuna and deleted the lot and it all boiled down to me feeling like I was jinxing myself.

Everyone and their mother know we’re trying! It’s kind of common knowledge that we’d start trying after we got married. I wish I didn’t say a thing!! I have a few TTC friends I can talk to but other people just have no idea how to talk about the subject. They mean well most of the time but people can be so insensitive. My mum has now learnt not to ask about it unless I mention it...

@PinkFlamingoGirl thank you and hugs back to you! I'm sorry you're going through that too... Logically I know it doesn't make sense to feel this way but, like many other silly TTC things, just can't help it

@beachbum85 I’m glad it’s helped you. It’s been lovely seeing everyone getting along and helping each other 😊

I’m sorry you feel like you’re letting people down, you’re really not. But there is an expectation once you meet someone and settle down.

My mum spent years telling me she wasn’t old enough to be a grandma, then she decided she likes my partner and told me she’d decided what she wants my kids to call her instead of granny. I’m not sure which I preferred 😂

@beachbum85 I just read that back and should have put and it’s teal my not fair after the line about the expectation!

At least we have each other!

When people say those things you have to laugh it off when sometimes you want to punch them 🙊

I found literally the second we got married it was like baby baby baby from everyone. Literally before the weekend was even over someone was asking when would we start. I would never, ever!! The in laws are the worst, actually a few weeks before the wedding my brother in law asked in front of a table of their whole family when were we going to have a baby as I wasn't getting any younger...

@Fifol OMG similar to me. My BM the day after my wedding on my way to my honeymoon asked if I was off the pill 😂 like Christ give me a minute will ya lol

I'm really sorry to read how many family and friends keep asking about babies. It's so insensitive. Our neighbour's wife is pregnant and he asked us if we were planning a family (seeing as though we got married last year and we have a 3 bedroom house). It cut me like a knife tbh. He wasn't to know I've had 2 chemical pregnancies and we're now on our 7th cycle of trying, but really I think nowadays people should have the emotional intelligence to not ask if someone is planning to have children.

@Nat4392 same as me, pretty much everyone knows, and I feel every single month I've let everyone down. I know deep down it's not my fault but cant help it.

Wee update. Tested again this morning and I can't see anything 🙁. I would expect it to get stronger not disappear. I also feel crampy xx

Af arrived this morning 😭 onto the next month

@twinkltoes85 I'm sorry about AF. It's so upsetting 😔 xx

@PinkFlamingoGirl thank you, I just keep telling myself it’s positive that I have a period at all this soon after coming off the depo.

I’m really interested in getting an ovusense monitor but it’s £99 and I don’t think my partner would appreciate me spending that. But I think I need a new way of monitoring ovulation

Morning ladies

I’m having a dilemma, my mind just keeps telling me I’m pregnant. I can’t get it to stop it is convinced I am pregnant. I can be doing day to day things and the min I think about anything to do with pregnancy my mind is telling me I am pregnant.

I’m due on next weekend and I stupidly tested this morning on a cheap test knowing it would be neg and I didn’t seem to upset because I then thought it’s ok because you are.🤦🏼‍♀️

I seem to be having mood swings one min I’m cranky the next I feel calm and caring. I’ve been sat at work today and keep getting weird cold chills where my body goes covered in goosebumps. I had my tea last night and it literally wiped me out I was fast asleep straight after.

Help lol

@twinkletoes85 I have never heard of that before. I will go and have a Google. I think if you want to try it then go for it.

I tried conceive plus this month. Ill try again next month with that. I am 99% sure that my AF is enroute now too xx

@Lindsey02 how many dpo are you?

There's a lot to be said about having a strong gut feeling. Maybe your body knows and is telling your mind. I will keep my fingers crossed for you xx

BFN for this morning at 12dpo so I'm out. AF will come on Sunday and then we'll be cycle 9. Anyone gone to the drs before the 12 month mark? I'm tempted to go as soon as they reopen for f2f appointments

@PinkFlamingoGirl I had my opk + last weds. It is such a strong feeling I can’t get it to stop.

@lindsey02 lots of women report just feeling pregnant before throw bfp so you never know!

@PinkFlamingoGirl I’ve been checking reviews and they are mostly positive, I don’t expect to see 100% glowing reviews so I think I might order one. If I balance out the cost of buying ovulation tests it’s not too bad.

@notyetamumbuttrying I’m sorry about your bfn, it’s such a disappointment isn’t it. I don’t have any advice about going to the doctor I’m afraid but I know some of the others might be able to help

Thanks @Twinkletoes85! I haven't told husband yet either, he'll just think I'm
Silly for taking an early test! I guess I'm gonna have to explain my foul mood before I bite his head off lol!

@notyetamumbuttrying my boyfriends not pleased as I woke him up (unintentionally) complaining about my period starting this morning. I do feel a bit sorry for the poor men who get blindsided by the bad moods of women ttc 😂 only a bit mind

@twinkletoes85 sorry about AF but at least the waiting is over now and it's the start of a new cycle and a new try! That's the way i look at it anyway I try not to hate my body when I see AF. If you feel that monitor will help you feel more in control then go for it. The way I look at it, I'd spend it on something else anyway, might as well be something that could help you get your baby!

@PinkFlamingoGirl hopefully you will get an answer soon enough either way, the waiting is a killer

@notyetamumbuttrying sorry about bfn. About 7 months trying for us but hoping that 12 month mark won't even be close for us! I really feel the first 3 months I didnt properly understand the timing of things or when I was actually ovulating as I wasnt tracking so in a way i feel we have only been trying 4 months.

@Lindsey02 hopefully you're right! Fingers crossed for you

Its nice I think to be in different stages of our cycles as I feel I wouldnt be able to be as positive for anyone else if I was waiting on AF!