6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

@fifol thank you. Yes that’s how I’m trying to be, I can’t do anything about last month now but I can focus on next month. My boyfriends not totally on board about trying something else as he thinks we’ve not been trying long enough yet to worry. Which he’s right about, my age just concerns me. Whatever happens now I’ll be 35 by the time a baby arrives.

I agree it’s nice we’re all in different stages as we’re all in different mindsets and perspectives.

@twinkletoes85 I'm sorry AF arrived this morning. New cycle, new attempt now, keeping my fingers crossed for you. Theres no harm in getting a fertility monitor. I reckon one more month if this cycle isnt successful and I'll do the same.

@Lindsey02 keeping my fingers crossed for you. I've heard so many people saying they just knew they were pregnant so I'm hoping this is the same for you.

I got my static smiley with the ovulation tests this morning so let's see how it goes

@KK251289 I know you’ve said before but which ovulation tests do you use please?

I’m going to give them a go this month I think instead of just cm, especially with my cycle being longer this month

@twinkletoes85 if you do end up getting it let us know as I would def like to try it (hopefully won't have to!!)

@KK251289 yay I get so excited when I get the static! I'm on my second flashing smiley today, hoping I wont have to wait too long for the static

Twinkletoes85 I got the clearblue ovulation tests they're a bit more expensive as they can predict 4 or more fertile days. I've put the link at the bottom. This is the first month I've used them.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BSNL77I/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_SXqVEbWAE44RJ?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

@fifol hopefully itll come soon, good luck for this cycle 😁

@KK251289 fab thank you I’ve ordered them!

@Twinkletoes85 defo only feel for them a bit lol! They don't have all the horrible hormones that rage through our bodies every month or constantly blame themselves when another month roles on. I know he wants a baby though so I do feel for him in that sense. I can tell he's sad for me too.
@Fifol thank you. We've definitely been trying since cycle 1. Although not with sticks but with the app which has been near enough spot on each month. We did have the odd month where we missed ov day but had done it in lead up so still counting them.

Anyone ever find your husband/partner doesn't quite understand the necessity of that all important day? I feel mine thinks cos we've done it in run up that that's enough. I'm like no it's not mr, let's go again lol! We've been together 5 and a half years nearly, (married 9 months) so definitely passed the stage of tearing each other's clothes off, but I don't want it to be chore or regimented so I tend not to tell him ov day. He always knows my fertile week cos it's straight after my period for me. (Short cycle) but wondering whether I should tell him ov day again. Don't want him getting stage fright tho lol, that's happened before!

@notyetamumbuttrying I don't tell my husband, I just tell him we will be doing it regularly. Well that's what we did last month, the month before the pressure got to him at the crucial moment! In fairness I had 20 days of flashing smileys so it was a lot of pressure!!! But it worked well last time not telling him exactly and that's what we'll do this time too

@notyetamumbuttrying yes I feel he doesn’t get it. we’ve been together 3 years but we’ve know each other almost 10 so our at it like rabbits is well gone now. We renovated a house and he had a back injury so dtd dropped off a cliff a bit.

I really had to explain to him that just because the app says it’s that day doesn’t mean it’s definitely that day and we need to up the dtd that whole week to make sure. He seemed to think we could just go the night before the circle and that’s it done. He’s starting to get it now and we’re trying to make it fun and not pressured.

Thanks @Fifol and @Twinkletoes85 takes them time to understand doesn't it. We actually tried doing it everyday rather than every other day this cycle thinking it would make all the difference. And by everyday it was only 3 days in a row up to and including ov day. My friend caught like that so thought we'd give it a whirl and see. Starting to see that there really isn't an exact science to it. I do reckon we need to do it more though. We definitely slow down once out of fertile week. Sometimes we don't do it at all in the tww 😬like this month for example. Tumbleweed lol

@notyetamumbuttrying we are exactly the same! We never keep up the same amount outside of fertile week and this tww we didn’t at all.

It’s nice to know that’s normal! Neither of us are really bothered about the frequency and it’s definitely not a sign of anything wrong in the relationship but you do sometimes think hmmmm should we be at it more 😂

Yeah totally! @Twinkletoes85 but then we're so damn affectionate and silly with each other, I know we don't need to worry. It's nice to know that when we're old and wrinkled we can just be content with one another's company when the sex goes altogether.

AF is here ladies. I'm gutted. I was on such a high with hope yesterday when I saw that line and now I'm so low. I have no idea why that line showed up, I know it was faint but it was still early. I keep thinking I imagined it. That's never happened before since TTC.

I didn't tell my DH about the line as it was so faint and I've not told him about AF yet. Can't even face it. Just want to lie in bed all day and feel sorry for myself. I know that won't help anyone.

Do you ever think, that's what I get for even beginning to get excited or hopeful? That goes back to that whole jinxing yourself feeling. Like don't let the universe know you want this so much or care because it will go away if you do. You'll Jinx it.

Anyways, that's enough of a pity party for myself. TTC Cycle 7 D1.

DH and I are quite active. It defo ramps up over the fertile week then calms down after. I try to still be at it because I don't want him to think im only interested during the fertile week 😂. I also don't tell him when I get a positive opk as I don't want to put him off or put pressure on.

@Twinkletoes85 @PinkFlamingoGirl sorry about AF ladies, give yourselves time to feel sad. Every CD1 I have a good cry and let it out and it really does help and then you can focus on the upcoming month.
I’m 10DPO today with zero symptoms so not holding my breath for this month...

Hi ladies, can I join you? Currently trying to conceive baby number 2. I'm pretty sure I just had a very early MC on my first cycle TTC
The first time it happened by accident (I was extremely lucky, as I was engaged at the time and I wanted babies anyway), so I'm a bit nervous it will take a while now.
Baby dust to you all!

@PinkFlamingoGirl I’m sorry af has arrived! Looks like this month we’ll be on a similar cycle. I don’t know about you but once I finish work I’m running myself a bath and pouring myself a large gin to enjoy when I’m in it!

I could have typed that third paragraph myself so I know exactly how you feel and what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I have to work 10 times harder than others to get where I want to be. But when it happens it’s all the more worth it.

I agree with @Nat4392 you have to let the sadness out and grieve a bit for your lost chance. Then you focus on the next month and start the hope again.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you Nat! You’re not out until af arrives

Aw sorry @PinkFlamingoGirl. Treat yourself to something nice and do whatever makes you feel good today.

I know what you mean every month I try not to hope because it's so heart breaking but I cant help it. I also try to be positive about things because I think that's important too. I read a book about the power of positive thinking!

@twinkletoes85 @notyetamumbuttrying we are totally the same. I think its completely different when you're ttc, because you're so focused and regular for two weeks. I do miss the more spontaneous sex! But we are both very happy the way it is and we both really want this so I think its whatever works for each couple.

Hi @MrsLully how long have you been ttc? Hopefully you'll get there soon! You've chosen a really lovely group to join!

@Nat4392 loads say they have no symptoms so I'm not counting you out yet!! Fingers crossed

Hi @MrsLully welcome!

How old is your first? Have you been trying for long?

Welcome @mrslully

@PinkFlamingoGirl I'm so sorry AF has arrived. Seems its happened to a few on here today so shes being very cruel.
Keep going everyone, it's so hard. Feels like the same pattern for all. AF arrives, then the trying continues, burst of hope, then AF arrives again.

@Twinkletoes85 Thanks!
My DD one is almost 17 months, and this is our first cycle TTC. Though currently bleeding (sorry) so we are out this month obviously. We are not in a rush tbh, but nervous all the same.
Let's hope it happens for all of us soon! xx

I’m the exact same when it comes to DTD .... do it so much during the fertile weeks then as soon as ovulation passes we more or less just stop! Really going to make the effort this month to carry on DTD regularly in between ovulation and when my period is due!

I find because it’s not natural and kinda forced during the fertile weeks it’s nice to have a little break and no pressure ... I sound awful but you know what I mean

Totally know what you mean @bree2212 same for us! But I think if that works for us its fine, everyone is different

We’re exactly the same! Do it loads in the fertile week and it’s not unusual to not do it at all in the TWW. I get all hung up about it affecting implantation (even though it’s very unlikely) so I tend to rebuff any of DHs suggestions 🙈 we have actually DTD during this TWW for the first time in ages! 🤣

@Bree2212 I know exactly what you mean!! And you're totally right @Fifol everyone is different but it seems we're all the same on here lol! Good to see we're not the only couple who basically stop in the tww then!

I went for a quick jog at lunch and I feel so much better about my negative now. I'm all pumped for my period to come and be over with. Just gotta hope my eggs mature a bit longer this time. Will be buying coq10 tonight!