6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

@jessmcg it’s hard to see other people having babies. One of my close friends is she next month. We talk every day and it’s (understandably) pretty much all she talks about. It’s frustrating as she knows I’m trying. And if I’m being honest I’m not 100% sure how I’ll react when the baby is here. Obviously happy for her but there will be that envy there too. It’s not a nice emotion but I think we all feel it. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it and just try not to lose yourself in it.

I do feel better for having a good cry. I know full well we have a good life and a good relationship and I need to be grateful for what we have, baby or no baby.

@Nat4392 that’s exactly it! As much as you try to keep it fun it does feel forced. All those we’re having fun practicing things aren’t real, it almost becomes a chore.

@notyetamumbuttrying AF is due tomorrow so Day 26 today for me. I'm pretty regular AF arrives every 27 days for me. Such bad cramps today though but I'm so sure its AF but it's made me become more focused that I'm logging how much water I drink, making sure I'm taking folic acid and writing it down, so getting prepared for the next few weeks.

@Twinkletoes85 I dropped off the thread for a while but I'm still here on cycle 7. I'm sorry you've been having a rubbish time. The whole thing is such a roller-coaster. And your DH being ill just at the crucial point!

Hello everyone, hope you don't mind me rejoining 👋🏻
I'm 34 (35 later this year 😔) / cycle day 22 / 11 dpo / cycle 7 of ttc. I've got that little crampy feeling low down that makes me think AF is gearing up.
I've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the first 3 cycles. My cycle is going a bit weird atm. Last month I got my period after only a 24 day cycle.

@KK251289 I know what you mean about babies being everywhere! I can't even watch Home and Away without there being a surprise pregnancy 😩

@KK251289 it's good you're getting prepared! Hope af doesn't show tomorrow for you tho!!

@CurbsideProphet welcome back 😊 sorry you think it’s not happened this cycle. I hope af doesn’t show!

I downloaded a cooking game on my iPad that had a bit of a story, 10 levels in and the bloody character is pregnant. Nothing is safe!

@CurbsideProphet hi there! Welcome back. 👋. Did you ovulate in your last cycle and if yes, do you know when? It sounds like you had a slightly short luteal phase? Xx

@CurbsideProphet welcome back I'm sorry to hear you've had a hard time. Hopefully AF wont show this month. I know what you mean soaps are not safe from surprise pregnancies! It's so weird how most characters all of a sudden remember there period is late, and the first pregnancy test they pee on is positive. Wouldn't it be nice if it was like that. @notyetamumbuttrying thank you, I hope she doesnt either. I always make the mistake that after I think I've ovulated I get really lazy with my eating habits, drink so much caffeine etc so I'm thinking I'll just keep being good from now on, hopefully itll work.

@Twinkletoes85 I bet that annoyed you so much playing a game to escape and then pregnancy just shows up. I was scrolling through some games to download, one of them was a spot the difference underneath and you had to guess which lady wasnt pregnant, I turned round and said to my partner it's me

@KK251289 honestly I was like wtf 😂 you do realise how insensitive society is to woman who can’t have kids though. This is partly what I’ve said to DP is he just doesn’t understand how much it’s pushed at women that you’re basically here to pop out a kid and how much pressure there is.

Good outlook @KK251289 I'll have to do the same as I fall into this as well. I feel like I've done everything possible this time round as well so it's gonna be extra crushing when I see bloody af! I shouldn't write myself off before I've even ov'd lol but so hard not too when it's not worked so far! This is cycle 9 for us.

@KK251289 that's what I was thinking, anything different is a positive, oh i hope so xx

@Twinkletoes85 sorry to hear that you’ve been having such a hard time - a good cry is sometimes just needed. Always best not to hide how you are feeling as I just find that makes me feel worse.

I hate the pressure that comes with having to DTD on certain days. We tend to do it every other day during the flashing smiley time and then both days during the static smiley. It’s so hard though not to make it feel like a chore, especially when you have been trying for so long. Some months I don’t say when the flashing smileys are to try and make it feel more spontaneous (at least for him!). They definitely have it easier than we do!!

@KK251289 definitely good to be prepared, I’m upping my water intake after so many of you have mentioned.

Thank you @jessmcg I always seem to ovulate on day 11 (no OPKs, just by EWCM). I had bloods done on day 8 that cycle and my GP said the hormone levels were as expected. That was the 2nd cycle after my 2nd chemical pregnancy, so I wonder if my body wasn't quite back to normal.

@Twinkletoes85 even a cooking game has an unexpected pregnancy??

@DSC1 yeah I think it just needed to come out. I’ve been so frustrated with work and lockdown and ttc that I think it had all built up.

They do have it easier but they don’t appreciate that they do! Even the most understanding ones.

@CurbsideProphet I know who’d have thought, the story is having the restaurant to pay to redo the house and then surprise pregnancy!

@twinkletoes85 Exactly! I think games, adverts etc should have a little rethink of how getting pregnant is portrayed. It's just like oh shes looked at a man and 'poof' shes pregnant. When you're growing up and it seems like every adult tells you it only takes the once but it reality it really doesnt!

@DSC1 I'm hoping the water works as well. To be honest I get super lazy as well with taking vitamins and stuff once my fertile week is done.

@notyetamumbuttrying definitely dont write yourself off this month, it could be your turn. I think it helps my mind that even when AF is due atleast I'm preparing my body for the best chance next time.

@Aokbaby really hoping for you that this is positive news.

@CurbsideProphet Chemicals can mess with you for a few cycles, so that is probably it. I also think we are underestimating how stress all the lockdown bollocks is. I was away for work when it all kicked off, got so stressed out and had a 50 day cycle for the first time in my entire life! Thanks, Covid.

I'll try my best @KK251289. I'm not even a day past ov yet so I'm at least gonna enjoy the next 24 hours and try and get as much sex out of Dh as humanly possible lol!
Wow wee @jessmcg 50 days is longggggg! You must've been petrified at the time?!

@notyetamumbuttrying It was crazy. I’ve never had that before in my 32 years. Apparently travelling across timezones can really mess with you - I was in Japan for work and I think that, plus Covid and not knowing if I could get home, if DH would be able to visit etc really got to me. I wouldn’t say I’m normally major anxious about stuff like that, but clearly it was all manifesting in a physical way!
Meanwhile I’m 5 or 6DPO now and I feel so tired, like I’ve been hit by a truck! Had this last month. Aren’t hormones amazing...

@notyetamumbuttrying haha definitely do that!

They're the pits right @jessmcg hopefully it's baby related and then hormones are great lol!
@KK251289 hubby got a heads up this morning but he'll prob flake on me later lol! Need to hunt through the knicker drawer for inspiration 😆

@jessmcg 50 days 😳
I follow gynae geek on Instagram (she's an NHS obs and gynae doctor) and she has also said we can't underestimate the stress on our cycles.

*the effect stress can have on our cycles.

@CurbsideProphet I love Gynae geek! I’ve seen loads on stress - the more you look, the more you find. Apparently the effect can be huge. I’ve started a meditation programme this month and I have to say I feel much better. Even though it can’t make me conceive, it’s definitely helped me be less frantic overall which can only be a good thing I think.

@notyetamumbuttrying I wish! I had this exact thing last time, so not hugely encouraging.
However it’s still early days - nothing would even have implanted yet, so it’s unlikely I’d feel anything apart from how I feel usually. Or at least that is what I’m telling myself! I just hope that one day it happens for me. 🤞

@notyetamumbuttrying you do make me laugh I think I'll do the same in fertile week, find something in one of the drawers

Stress is just the worst thing for your body and mind. That’s partly why I got so annoyed, I had such high hopes for this cycle with being off work and away from the stress and I’ve been good about what I eat and cutting out caffeine etc. We managed to dtd today so I’m feeling a bit more positive but I still feel we really missed the chance.

@CurbsideProphet I’ll have a look at gynae geek as that sounds really interesting.

@jessmcg that’s must have been a horribly stressful (and scary) time for you. I’m glad you made it home!

@DSC1 I read a very interesting article regarding hormone levels and it stopped me from getting anything else tested.
I think it causes more harm than good. I had 2 progesterone levels taken. One was really low the other really good. The emotional rollercoaster is awful. What will be will be.
I'll carry on testing for my ovulation day but that's it.

Anyways here is the article with the study.
www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/hormonal-fertility-tests-waste-time-and-money/