6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

@jessmcg hi, try not to beat yourself up, I doubt there’s anything you’re doing to stop it happening! @Girlinglasses said earlier in the thread which was a really good way of putting it ‘My friend compared it to trying to throw a bullseye with a dart (assuming you aren't a darts genius) - if someone said that they had been trying for a year to get a bullseye you'd think it was ages, but if they then told you that they only put the dart board up once a month and only had 3 darts to throw each time then it wouldn't actually seem that bonkers 🤪 so just keep throwing your dart’

All we can do is just keep dtd during our fw and think positive thoughts. It will happen 😊

@Twinkletoes85 Those are definitely wise words from @Girlinglasses ! I’d never thought about it like that before. I think in my mind (and I know this is wrong!) it’s like everyone who is getting pregnant around me knows something, does something or has something I don’t have. It’s been a challenging few months, with a number of my friends getting pregnant with such ease whilst I appear to be the only one trying and failing!

@jessmcg that's so normal I think. I spent 15 years trying NOT to get pregnant and having basically been told that if you look at a willy sideways without protection then you'll get pregnant 😂 And now suddenly off you go for six, seven, eight months and more without an ounce of protection and nada! It feels so counter intuitive, like I knew on an intellectual level that taking up to a year to conceive can be totally normal, but it didn't feel normal.

@jessmcg @Girlinglasses I agree, you put so much effort into not getting pregnant. I took the morning after pill when I first got with bf as we had a slip before I’d got my birth control sorted and I think now I could have saved myself that awful chat with the male pharmacist as there’s no chance I’d have caught 😂

I personally know people who’s fallen on by accident, not know until they’re 5/6 months gone (not trying), not known until they went into labour (not trying) and fallen on the second they stopped birth control. But for every one of them I know someone who took years, someone who had multiple miscarriages before going full term, someone who had ivf and someone who couldn’t have kids.

But no matter how much I try and look at it rationally knowing all those people it’s still hard not to sometimes think it’s my fault it didn’t happen this month.

It's like you're in my head @Twinkletoes85! I'm exactly the same!!

Amen @Twinkletoes85 I know how you feel! I really do spend a lot of time blaming myself too which I appreciate just isn’t healthy. I’ve started a meditation programme this month and it has helped my attitude immensely actually. Hoping it might help!

@jessmcg @Twinkletoes85 totally agree about the blame, I feel like I've failed DH when AF shows up :(

Am a week away from AF and the obsessing is beginning! So I'm keeping myself entertained with Netflix and rightmove !

Meditation sounds a good shout :). Hope you ladies are all having a good bank holiday weekend x

@SallyCinnamon3009 Congratulations ! It must be an amazing feeling after trying for so love, sending you lots of luck and hoping for a healthy 8 more months :D x

Ooh I do that too @MrsMeow2019! We're watching white lines at the mo but have got through so many series in lockdown. Money heist, normal people, dead 2 me, ozark love 'em all lol! Rightmove is my second fav trying to find our "forever home".

@notyetamumbuttrying I loved Normal People! Apparently there's a second series in the pipeline. Did you like it ? I've just started ' working mum's which is good. Would you recommend Dead 2 me ?

Same lol! We were actually planning to look for our first home before the Pandemic hit , have rented for 5 years and finally in a position where we can buy having saved a deposit and got our credit scores straight. I'm just about learning we can't actually afford our dream home lol - unless we buy a shell adn renovate which I'm not too keen on doing - expense and living in a building site. Are you planning a move?

Yeah I liked eps1-6 but then got a bit fed up with the last few, loved all the bonking tho lol! Would defo recommend dead 2 me, funny and smart.
So we already own but just a one bed flat so this year was meant to be the house and moving out of London, but yeah with COVID been pushed bk. just hope something good comes out of 2020, like a pregnancy!! Hope this time will give you longer to save and get your dream home 🏡

@MrsMeow2019 I agree with you on not living in a building site. We have had to do literally everything in our house. 2 & 1/2 years later & we are still doing it 😂 It’s difficult to live in & also constantly feel like we are laying out for materials/plastering etc.

Thank you all for your nice wishes. A little update, been getting painful cramps in my lower left side (not period like ones). I’m praying it’s implantation cramps. I’m 11 DPO tomorrow (Monday) & thinking to test with a first response. I’ll use my fmu in the hope any trace of HCG will be strong.

I’m due on Thursday so it’s only 3 days early & I think from what I’ve read on the first response website the result will be 99% accurate. Don’t think I can wait.

Ooh @justjen87 best of luck for the morning!! If you do get a negative test again at 13 or 14dpo as U might not be producing enough hcg at 11dpo. Best of luck and keep us posted!!

@justjen87 Good luck! Will be thinking of you.

@MrsMeow2019 We are literally in the middle of renovating at the moment and are living in our place at the same time. It’s not THAT bad! The key is planning it so that you have some space (even if small!) that is sacred and not part of the building site. We are 1 week down, 9 weeks to go and have been building up to this work for the past year, having bought / moved just before our wedding last April. We currently have all our possessions in two tiny rooms, one of which is our bedroom! I’m actually finding it all quite fun (for the moment) because I know we will have something good to show for it at the end (I hope!). Xx

Crossing my fingers for you @justjen87

@notyetamumbuttrying @jessmcg @jaxs23 thank you all. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

@justjen87 fingers crossed! Hoping you bring good news here tomorrow morning :)

Yeah covid has royally set back plans, we was just about to get a mortgage and now it's been postponed at least till end of June! We will get there though and that's the main thing.

Woke up with the feeling to wait to test 1 more day but DH wanted me to do it today. So I caved & did it, was a BFN, I know it’s a little early as I’m only 11DPO & 3 days before AF. Gona wait to see if AF comes Thursday. Don’t even want to try get my hopes up & test again this month.

Had a little cry like I seem to do every month 🙈 Although this month seems to feel worse. Maybe it’s because it’s the 6th month so half way towards needing to go doctors & also this month we had done a few things differently so had a good feeling.

I need to try not let this turn back into a miserable mare for the rest of the month. DH has agreed to call doctors to get his sperm tested. Just feel at least it’s something we can start to do just in case.

God knows why I’ve been peeing so much lately & what those horrible cramps where all day yesterday.

I know you all know exactly how I feel. Thank you so much for all your support ladies 💗

Oh @justjen87 I could have written this post last monday. The trying new things, feeling positive, testing and.... Nada. Then lots of disappointment and tears. I'm sorry you are feeling down. It really is so tough. I swing between months where I wait for AF to show but get more and more anxious going to the loo, and months where I test early and come crashing down with sadness before that happens. It's important to let yourself feel what you feel, then take the positive action you need - it's good DH gets checked out. But also, as others will say, theres a chance you aren't out, you wont know till AF comes for sure. It's tough but you've got this! 💪

@notyetamumbuttrying hope you can start looking again soon. It’s so hard to know whether to keep going and if you find something good whether it’s going to be a good deal 🤷🏻‍♀️

@justjen87 I bet it’ll be amazing once it’s all done ! Sorry about the BFN, I’m due Friday and caved did a 6 days early test just now and it’s a BFN. Doenst it make you feel so despondent , we’ll be onto cycle 12 at the weekend :(.

@Missgoldilocks we will and we’ll all have lovely homes 🏠, I like thinking about it instead of the face we’re not pregnant all the time, it’s a helpful distraction 😆

@jessmcg that sounds sensible , what are you having done? I’m afraid we’d run out of money and have to live with something half done 😆

@justjen87 I’m sorry about your BFN. It can sometimes feel cruel like our bodies are playing tricks on us and I know I have definitely had months whereby I’ve convinced myself. When I was pregnant with my LG I had absolutely no symptoms 🤷‍♀️
Be kind to yourself and let yourself have that little cry... As others have said though, you aren’t out until AF appears.

Hey all.... hope everyone is ok....

I’m thinking of testing this month , I don’t usually but been having a few symptoms .

Does it make a huge difference testing using fmu? I’ve always been told to test using my first wee of the day but is it actually true what they say about it making a difference? Thanks all x

@MrsMeow2019 yeah it's very annoying but it'll happen. Hope the same for you too!
@justjen87 sorry to hear about bfn, wait it out for Thursday and you just never know!?
@Bree2212 I think fmu is the most concentrated so if I was ever gonna test early I'd only use fmu so perhaps wait until tomorrow if you can but if not go for it and let us know if anything still shows. Best of luck!

@notyetamumbuttrying thanks ... think I’ll wait until tomorrow then! Plus I’m only 10/11 dpo today .

@justjen87 ah I'm free ally sorry about your bfn 😩 they're awful to look at hence why I stay away from testing. Fingers crossed you get some good news in a few days though! I found the 6 month mark really hard because I sort of geared myself up to thinking I would fall at least within the 6 months, now I'm nearer to a year of actively tracking I'm like shit, please fall before or on the 12 month mark!

@Twinkletoes85 yes exactly, this will all be over soon!