6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

@Missgoldilocks the worst thing for me to hear is just to relax and I'll get pregnant. I feel like they're telling me it my fault I'm not catching. I've noticed the people who say that are those with kids and never TTC.

@jaxs23 weirdly enough it's my sister who tells me to relax, who took the relaxed approach for the last 2 years and nothing has happened lol if she was more adamant she would have gotten tests earlier and been able to ivf earlier so I don't get her point?? 😂😂

Thanks for the info @twinkltoes. Are you going for it then?

All the tips and techniques about just relax and it will happen are just rubbish imo . It makes us feel bad, like you said, like it's something we are doing wrong to hinder our chances.

Nothing we are doing or thinking is not making us fall pg. It's just nature, timing etc. I do know a lot of people who say oh it happened the month I didn't think about it or that I stopped tracking but how do we know it wouldn't have happened for them that month anyways if they had continued to track. Maybe that was just meant to be their month.

Also it makes me so amazed/annoyed when I hear about folk accidently falling pregnant...I can't help but think wow, how lucky is that? You missed one pill?? Wtf?? How is that even possible? I have never had more sex in my life and it hasn't happened yet lol.

Your friend who boasted about that doesn't not sound like a nice person. You are well rid of them.

@PinkFlamingoGirl your comments are spot on. My DH often says how do you not know all this worry & stressing might be stopping it from happening. Jesus I feel to punch him at time’s.

Like seriously when people say that, please fook off. I’m trying everything I can to get pregnant. I’d love to have my own baby and be a good mum. It’s so upsetting when people say that.

@PinkFlamingoGirl I’m going to see what happens this month then quite possibly I will. The delivery times are fairly long atm with everything so it would miss another cycle with delivery.

I’m sort of trying the relax approach this month. There’s a woman at work who stresses me out awfully and she always seems to pick the week I ov to pipe up so I’m hoping being off work and away from that stress might help up this week. We’ve got some nice things to do in the house to take my mind off it all a bit. We’ll see!

@justjen87 @PinkFlamingoGirl agreed! It is really upsetting and almost as if they're down playing how much you want this and how much effort you're putting into having a bubba! So I have had some good news today which I thought I'd share because it made me feel positive! A lady I have been speaking to has been trying a year this month with shortish luteal phases and she just got her bfp!!
It really can just take time... I think if I fall pregnant in the next few months I'm actually going to be shocked though 😅 a good shocked but nonetheless shocked.

Hoping we all get some good luck and fall soon 🤞🙏

I'm 5dpo today... Period due in 8 days and feel as I do every month! I know its still early but still, I'll take the stance that it hasn't happened this month. In the car yesterday I started saying positive affirmations... I will get pregnant my body can get pregnant... I mean I guess it can't hurt lol

@Missgoldilocks Thank you for sharing that good news with us. A sprinkle of positivity like that is amazing. That has definitely given me a boost today. May I ask (here comes the looney me) is she roughly around our ages & do you happen to know if she had been trying anything different?

I’m not too far in front of you, 8DPO and 6 days till AF. Although praying of course it doesn’t come.

Are you going to test a little early this month?

I totally agree with you on the shocked front when it does happen. I try to imagine how I would feel. It will be incredible!

Praying it’s your month too! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

@Missgoldilocks @justjen87 funny you both say that as I was thinking yesterday how I'd actually feel when it happens! The fact that we're on cycle 9 now, makes me think, shit it could really actually happen soon and I get so excited! And scared lol! Cd6 for me so I'll be ovulating next week.

Hi girls. Been reading your comments, completely agree it is so frustrating being told to relax and it’ll happen. Feel like saying, “thanks very much for that suggestion, why didn’t I think of that already???” 🙄

It must be so hard having family members who are pregnant, what I try to think of is that whole excitement, never felt love like it, etc of having your first will have happened for them already when you still have it too look forward to! ☺️

Thought I would update you all, I caved and tested last night and then again freakishly early this morning and got these. I was shaking and crying so much, then tried breathing exercises to calm down as I was scared of my body being too ‘worked up’. I feel absolutely petrified that something is gonna happen! So stupid.

Going to try and hold off til sunday to retest but my god I don’t know how I’ll manage!! (Sunday evening I’ll do it - i start work 7am, and will do a 4 hour urine hold between my last break in work and getting home).

@justjen87 no worries I'm the same! Haha, she's either 34 or 36 I can't recall and I think her partner is 2 years older than her. She didn't do anything different, just dtd at the right time the same as every other month! Perhaps she was a little more relaxed this month, she was doing gardening and we all know that's therapeutic :)

Honestly, I'm not a early tester. I don't test at all I wait for af, normally I know it'll come 3 days prior because I get my usual pms symptoms so I never have to test. I used to test a lot in the beginning and it just hurt so bad. Will you test? Are you feeling any different?

@notyetamumbuttrying yes statistically speaking you are close to a bfp!! Me too, its scary and exciting because I think... I must get a bfp within the next 3 months surely? But then I think if it doesnt happen how stressed would I feel 😱

@A08x hey!!! Congratulations that's amazing!! Definitely see a line although it's faint so definitely hold off a few days and try again for a darker line :)

@A08x I definitely see a faint line! That’s so exciting! I’m so pleased for you, I look forward to seeing your darker line on Sunday.

@missgoldilocks thanks for that 😊 positive stories are always so good to hear, gives us hope that it is just a case of when it’s your time it happens.

I’m hoping we see some more bfps this month 🤞🏻

@Missgoldilocks thank you, good to know she was just cracking on a usual.

I think it’s good not to test if you can help it. I’ve done a mix of early testing & times when I have not bothered and just waited for AF. I’m tempted to test this time, only 2 days early because I feel like as I’ve done a few things differently this month I’m feeling more positive. Then she there’s also part of me that thinks I might as well wait another 2 days as we are well aware how upsetting a BFN is!

To be honest I don’t know if I feel any different or not. I know that may sound silly but I remember my 1st month of TTC and I swear I had every symptom & it’s was a BFN. I feel like I’ve had a few more pains & twinges in my lower stomach but have been trying not to pay too much attention. I just think whether I pay attention to any possible symptoms or not it won’t change the outcome.

@notyetamumbuttrying that’s a positive way to look at it. Thank you!

@A08x Congratulations they are definitely lines! Excited for you to test on Sunday. Please keep us updated.

Here’s hoping we all get our BFP’s soon. Sending love & baby dust to you all ✨

@missgoldielocks aw wow. That's lovely news and super reassuring to us.

@A08x eeek I can see something too! Fingers crossed for you lovely. How many dpo?

Yep, it's like how can you not think about it? Can someone please explain that to me lol? It's ALL I think about even when I try to tell myself don't think about it. I hate that it's made out that you could be the cause of you not conceiving because you're trying too hard or thinking too much about it therefore stressing. I don't believe that. Unless you are MEGA stressed and it's having other impacts on your body through stress. I truly believe that it will happen at the right time so long as everything is ok and you don't need some medical help to conceive (which could be the case but only time will tell that unfortunately).

Like would you apply that logic to anything else in life you want? Oh just don't think about it and it will happen (you'll pass your exams)? Just don't try and you'll get the job? Forget about it and it and you'll make the deadline? Just relax and you'll lose weight? Nope!! There's nothing wrong with thinking, hoping, researching, trying, tracking and wanting so long as you aren't making yourself unwell. I think we just have the fear that we will Jinx ourselves! That's what I boils down too.

I am 💯 on the positive affirmations wagon this month. I really feel excited and think this could be my month. I just have a feeling. Could I be wrong?? Ooooh yeah, absolutely but I'm not going to let that worry me. The journey will just continue and as much as I want this NOW, it will happen for me when my body decides. It's really taken a lot of soul searching to say this and believe me, the negativity still creeps in but I need to keep working on it and believing this or I'll drive myself crazy!!

Exactly...it can't hurt so why not believe in ourselves as it certainly makes it a nicer experience 💖

@A08x defo a line there, how exciting! How many dpo are you?
@Missgoldilocks totally the same! If it doesn't come before September I'll be devastated cos then that's the 12 month mark 😱
@justjen87 yep I gotta start looking at it that way now cos I don't wanna be sad during this process, I wanna be optimistic and happy. Somethings gotta work right 🤷🏽‍♀️
@PinkFlamingoGirl I think it's my month every month lol! I mean how can we not when we've had unprotected sex when we ovulate? It's maddening when you think about it 🤪

Thankyou very much! In a year of unprotected sex I have never seen a second line on a test before so my emotions are all over the place! I need to try keep myself calm & be positive that it’s gonna stick.

@notyetamumbuttrying @PinkFlamingoGirl I’m around 9-10 DPO as per my app. I didn’t use OPK’s this month as we just went for it and DTD every day / every second day from AF ending until Tuesday this week! I used opks most months from sept - April and learned I ovulate quite late in my cycle, usually around CD 18/19 of a 30 day cycle.

@Missgoldilocks well done on being able to hold out to test! A lot easier said than done lol. X

@justjen87 hoping this is your month! Definitely keep us up to date, it’s so hard to ignore any little twinge in your body during this time x

@pinkflamingogirl You’re absolutely right, how can you possibly NOT think about it?? It literally consumes your life! Even when you try to “not stress” you then end up stressed out because you’re focusing so much on being chilled 😂 there’s no winning. I think as long as you aren’t stressed to the point of periods stopping then it’s not gonna have an impact. These ‘it happened when we stopped trying’ people are a load of bullshit and just luck!! We tried that method in January; didn’t track a thing, ate/drank what and when we wanted, no pre-seed, etc & obviously didn’t happen. The only people who can truly say they fell without caring are the ones who weren’t trying in the first place! X

Is anyone testing this weekend! I'm 36 and been TTC number 2 for about 9 months now so starting to get panicky. Had implant removed in August and a chemical straight away but then nothing. AF due tomorrow and I've resisted the urge to test early as sick of getting BFN. Hopefully I'll be testing Sunday AM as long as no AF tomorrow

Best of luck @SallyCinnamon3009!! Let us know how you get on. I'm only into fw today so not testing for another 3 weeks yet.
@A08x wow I think that's how I'm gonna feel too! Coming into month 9 now and I just know I've got another few months ahead of us before I see that line! Test again at 12dpo and let us know how you get on. Everything crossed for ya! 🤞🏾

Thanks @notyetamumbuttrying trying to stop symptom spotting and getting my hopes up. I've headache for a couple of days, feel a bit woozy and I've also noticed that on my Fitbit my resting heartbeat seems to have increased over the last week. I suppose I'll know one way or the other by the end of the weekend though

@A08x oooh my gosh. How special for you. I am sending positive baby vibes your way and I hope your line progresses over the next few days.

I think the only thing I'm not going to do this cycle is test early. I say that now but I'm going to try 🙈

Good luck @SallyCinnamon3009 can't wait to hear the latest in a few days!
Haha same @PinkFlamingoGirl even tho I bought 4 frer in anticipation lol! I'm gonna wait until day before AF I reckon. Then it's only one day to wait for it to arrive.

Hi all, I've been on a SMEP thread but got my period today so nipped on over to check this lovely supportive thread out. So much resonates. And @PinkFlamingoGirl you are exactly right even when I tell myself I'm not thinking about it, it is always there. And YES what else would you not put effort in to trying your best for?! Fate and superstition have a lot to answer for in my opinion (dont get me started on how many magpies I've saluted!).

I'm 38 and been TTC for 20 months. Its number 3 for us, which in some ways makes me feel bad that I'm being greedy wanting a 3rd when I know others are desperate for #1. But since we decided to try for #3 it's been so hard, because we'd decided that was what we wanted. First 2 DD were so easy, I know now, falling 1st and 2nd months. We've tried everything and been checked out and it's all fine just doesn't seem to be happening.

And my kids are getting older (and so am i) and I just dont think I have it in me to 'take a break' or decided enough is enough. It's starting to take its toll though (even though DH says it doesn't show or affect the family) I feel like I've been an absolute witch all day!

Also if anyone has any tips for how to do positive affirmations I'd be keen to hear it. Have struggled to do that but might have that as my new thing to try this month!

@seafrontsky from what I’ve read it doesn’t seem to get any easier no matter how many you have. Wanting a baby and it not happening is hard, it’s good to hear your checks have not shown up any issues! But I understand that makes it frustrating for you too.

How old are your others if you don’t mind me asking. It sounds like you’ve got a supportive DH there ☺️

You’re all right that it’s always there. Making a cup of tea and thinking oh should I really drink this caffeine just in case or should I eat this ice cream or is that bad? It effects almost every choice you make even if you’re trying very hard not to let it

Hey all ..... just read all of your comments , not been on here for a while but just come on to try and get some positivity .

Last couple of days have been bad ones and I just feel really low and negative about TTC in general

7DPO for me and I just know AF will show next week when it’s due. Trying really hard to think positive but just can’t at the moment so any positive thinking or advice would be appreciated this evening x

@seafrontsky
With the affirmations I literally just tell myself I will be pregnant my body can get pregnant I can nurture a child from within... Things like that. It does feel good to say it to yourself since I'm constantly thinking there's something wrong with me lol
That must be hard trying for a long time... They do say as you get older it gets harder so maybe it really is just going to take some time this time but I do know the shock when you concieve so easily and then suddenly its not happening. Its a reaaaaal wake up call.
We all go through life desperate to not get pregnant and then when we want it it's almost elusive lol