TTC after miscarriage - April 2020

[TerribleImagination]

Starting this thread for anyone TTC after a miscarriage. My MC was in December and I’ve had no joy since, but these threads have been wonderful for being amongst lovely people going through the same thing.

As always, sorry to anyone who finds themselves here and fingers crossed we all get our rainbows soon 🌈

@Rainbowhope11 sorry for your loss that sounds awful but similar to mine. I was only 7 weeks but my scan showed the baby was only 5 weeks ☹️. I started trying as soon as I stopped bleeding. I couldn't wait x

@Quail15 I'm deeply sorry for your loss :( it really is a horrible feeling! I don't think I can wait. I feel like if I do, I'm going to be wasting time. I just stopped bleeding the other day, had heavy bleeding for a few days and then brown spotting that didn't seem to want to stop! Thankfully it did, and I'm finally starting to feel a bit normal again. Hope you are doing okay, sending you positive vibes and all the luck!

@Skygirl1983 I know how you feel about being frustrated not knowing about your cycles! Cd27 here. I had some spotting bright red two days ago but it disappeared immediately and nothing since. Been crampy yesterday but I was very busy with decorating at home so I don’t know if I just overdid it! How are you feeling now? Any sign of at? I keep telling myself even if I get af it’s a cycle at least! I’m driving myself crazy symptom spotting! X

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last summer it is one of the worst things I have been through and to make things worse I was abroad so had to go to a hospital in Spain who were quite abrupt with me :( About a month after I got my first normal period I started having regular sex with my hubbie at least every other night. In Nov I started getting signs I was pregnant but a week later my period came. By Jan I fell pregnant again and I am due in Sept. I am 40 this year and when I was 32 it took nearly 2 years before I conceived my daughter and a course of Chlomid. What has happened to me in the last year conceiving seems unreal! If I can do it being older then you can too. Just try and chill and enjoy the regular sex 😊

@Rainbowhope11 so good to see you found the board! My mc sounds very similar to yours and at a similar some too. Only I didn’t have any medical management. 14th March I had some light spotting so I went to a and e. This is before the Coronavirus ramped up a gear. Because it was a Saturday I was told to go home and come back for a scan Monday. Of course I couldn’t wait so I went private and had a scan the same day. I should have been nine weeks but they could see a sac that measured 4-5 weeks, just empty with no fetal pole. I kept hope and prayed that it was just that my dates were off, it had been my first cycle since my son was born and I hadn’t had a period for 13 months cos of breastfeeding, so I figured that could have been the case. Alas, the bleeding became heavy that evening and we knew. It was horrible. My bleeding started 14th March And lasted about 5-6 days. First time we had sex was 21st March so no we didn’t wait. I think in most cases you are told to wait for the cycle so you can date the pregnancy. If you feel ready I would go for it. By the sounds of it you conceived quickly before though so I’m sure it’s just bad luck you’ve had. I know it’s heartbreaking all the same. But I’m confident you will conceive again soon x

@Charliec12 thank you for sharing your story. That must have been awful especially being in an unfamiliar place
Congratulations on your pregnancy now. I bet you are looking forward to your September baby

@Hayleylou89 I hope you don’t need those cheapies! Happy bd!

@SmileyT haha hubby convinced he hit the goal. He may have done! Fingers crossed. My hubby doesn’t want to use preseed next cycle. He keeps saying we don’t need it. But I might slip some in anyway! Surely he won’t notice! We dtd just for fun yesterday too. Very important I think.

@Sallyjo27 good luck with your blood work today. Stay safe xx

@Babytinx11 sorry for your loss. Being late is surely a good sign! I’d wait and test again of course. But the wait is so hard! Keep us updated x

@Mommybear05

I hope not too.

im just half worried because we had dtd like 5 days in a row before my peak and although we managed it last night too and it was actually probably the best dtd of this cycle, im worried hes going to struggle these next two days 🙏 I made a big mistake and got excited and told him it was peak time so the pressure is on now 😂

@Hayleylou89 yes I do find it must be difficult for the men to perform when told its peak. My hubby doesn’t like the pressure either and he said to me it seemed forced. I find it important to keep dtd For fun when not ovulating too.

Yay I got my smiley face on my ovulation test this morning ..... And today im working a 12 hour shift 🙄
Dtd last night and I have definite ovulation pains this morning so fingers crossed. I'm really not sure I be be able to convince my husband to go again tonight as I won't be home till late and he has a long day of childcare plus trying to work from home.

@Hayleylou89 I made the mistake once of telling my husband I was ovulating he completely froze 🙄 so we have just agreed that I will initiate sex at random times of the month so there is no pressure on him. I did tell him off about it 😆

@Mommybear05

I know we had a little argument over it last night because he was saying im putting pressure on him and i said but iv been so worried about not getting back to normal and ovulation testing like a maniac then finally got my first peak and got so excited and told him haha - so its pressure both ends but we somehow kissed and made up with dtd and it was actually really good 🙈😂 Im not going to mention anything today as he knows... fingers crossed i get my way later haha ... im feeling crampy today so just logging everything im feeling in my app so i know for next time. I also have the old cb fertility monitor that my friend gave me before i got the mew connected on and because my cb connected is stuck on static now for 48 hours i tried that today and its peak on that too hehe 🥰 x

@Quail15 congratulations on your smiley. You did last night though so if not today it’s no big deal. I would try every other day to be sure. Sounds tough with your long shift when your man is wfh.

@Hayleylou89 yes we’ve had our tiffs too so
I’m glad I’m not the only one! A couple of days ago he said I am obsessed and I need to chill out. He’s probably right tbf but that’s easier said than done. I too wish I could chill sometimes!
Not a clue with these ovulation machines! But it looks very helpful! I’m only just starting with basic cheap opks haha. I should whip out one of those machines Out for him and then he will definitely perceive me to be obsessed then if he thinks my opks are too much. He’s like you don’t need to pee on sticks every day’ and I’m like yes I do!

@Hayleylou89 my partner was the same with me the other day saying it felt awkward because it was more planned, but we talked it out. Positive that you are still in peak on your other monitor too that's great news. X

@VP91x @Mommybear05

I know the arguments are bound to happen but the amount of work we do researching and peeing on sticks day in an out shouldnt be dismissed either should it...Its a 2 way street if they want a baby too they only have one job 🙈😂 and i dont think they realise the tiny window u have unless u tell them, its easy for them to say lets just go with the flow but us women know full well the times when dtd matters and when its just for fun. They think "oh just do it whenever and it will happen when itll happen stop obsessing" well no actually ur body is like a baby machine and thats just not how it works it needs all the parts at the right time to work 🙈😂 x

@VP91x @Mommybear05 to be fair i do blame myself more this month as its our first propa cycle and i did make him dtd far to much before the peak as i never thought it would come ... lesson learnt though if i need to go again next month! Xx 🙄

@Hayleylou89 @VP91x yes my hubby is like that too. He said I can get pregnant at any time in the month and I was like no I have a tiny window and he said so why did we use contraception before If you knew exactly when you were fertile and other than that it’s not happening.
He’s supportive though of course I think he just wants me to chill out as I’m very wound up lately. Also all being well we hopefully would like three kids so he was like u will be wound up again and it’s not good for u. So he’s only thinking of me really bless him x

Question for anyone who have successfully used CB fertility monitors.

How many times did you dtd following peak reading and if you fell pg what day during the peak did you conceive? X

2 days before ov?
1 day before ov?
Day of ovulation?

@Hayleylou89 @Mommybear05 yeah around this time last year we decided to start trying and my period was late so I thought I could have been PG but then my period was just 10 days late! Think because I was just focusing on it my body got a bit stressed. So think my partner is not wanting same to happen. Funny how our bodies work! But yeah we definitely need to keep a track otherwise we wouldn't recognise our own signs. X

@Hayleylou89 when we got pregnant using it we DTD on the day we got the peak, and the day after . That was literally it as we were down at our my in laws for xmas so was difficult getting it in any way ! We didnt DTD at all for 3 days prior to me getting the peak on the stick . Because of that I kinda resided to the fact that it wasnt going to happen that month as I felt we hadn't done enough and I was gutted we didnt DTD the day before or even 2 or 3 days before I got the peak. But it showed me that it must have been us DTD on the day of peak and the day after that got us pregnant . As it's quite unlikely that it was from 4 days before peak ... although it is possible ... just less likely. So I obvs dont know which time we DTD got us pregnant ... but we only did it 3 times in total that month over our like week fertility window . Xx which has kinda made me more chilled about not being manic on the DTD front which I've done before I got pregnant and stressed us both out ... and why I'm trying sperm meets eggs method this cycle.. unless we DTD any extra days because we fancy it 🤣😝 I got my first flashing smiley today which made me happy that I feel on track to ovulate around Sunday as predicted 😁🤞 xx

@renna yeah u seem to be so chilled! I have a new worry when i get past each hurdle, now that iv got my peak im worrying we wont dtd enough cos iv done it so much already leasing up...weve done it 6 days in a row before my peak so i know weve done it enough before with me panicking i wouldnt ovulate, but now im worried he wont be able to perform during my peak 😂... although we did manage late last night and it was really good actually, I just pray still can today and tomorrow too just so i know weve done absolutely everything we can and ill be so optimistic for our bfp then 🙏🌟 xx

@Hayleylou89 haha I do try to be chilled about all things. And people said to me before I am chilled . I do stress and worry but more inwardly I think and dont show it. And I really dont want to stress to much about TTC as they say it's a big factor and you hear of people who stress about TTC dont get pregnant then stop 'trying' ... then get pregnant because they aren't stressed... but I dont think I can stop doing things like tracking ovulation etc as I kinda like doing it and I am a bit of a control freak /organiser. I like planning and organising 🤣
Try not to worry. You've done loadss haha. And from what I've read it seems youd have more of a chance with sperm that's already sitting there waiting for the egg right now. I mean if you try it on today I'm sure he wont resist haha or change it up .. we had fun with my package I ordered from love honey yesterday 🤣 just to make it different too..
Try DTD today as itll be second day of peak but if it's too much really dont stress about tomorrow. Even the sperm meets egg method says to leave DTD on that day and then try the following day for one last time and we got pregnant only DTD on the those 2 days . So just focus on today then see how you both feel tomorrow 😁👌 xx

@Hayleylou89 or sounds like you need a row again to have make up 'DTD' 🤣🤣 as you enjoyed it more haha ...