TTC after miscarriage - April 2020

[TerribleImagination]

Starting this thread for anyone TTC after a miscarriage. My MC was in December and I’ve had no joy since, but these threads have been wonderful for being amongst lovely people going through the same thing.

As always, sorry to anyone who finds themselves here and fingers crossed we all get our rainbows soon 🌈

Thank you @Mommybear05 and @SmileyT

It was awful. Thankfully I don't work on a Tuesday so I have a day to get myself together before facing it all again on Wednesday.
They announced my colleagues pregnancy as well. Her pregnancy is going well but she hasn't yet had her 12 week scan yet so she's just as angry about it all.
I will speak to my boss on Wednesday and tell him the distress he has caused. If I'm lucky enough to get another bfp I won't tell anyone until after the 12 weeks scan - no matter what is going on in the world.
Fingers crossed for us all to get our bfp this month or next x

@Mommybear05 sending you a hug. Your husband sounds similar to mine. My husband is fed up with me crying/sulking - although I think he's way of coping is believing it won't happen then he isn't disappointed but this just makes me annoyed.
My daughter is also 16months. She was Ivf though and I can't really afford to pay for another round of Ivf so I'm hoping that my last bfp shows that I can at least get pregnant.
I have no advice on breastfeeding. You have done amazingly to feed for so long - I only managed a few weeks with my daughter as she had an awful tongue tie.

I think that being at home a lot at the moment is adding to the stress (it is for me at least) - to much time to think and worry ☹️

@Mommybear05 get loads of time snuggling with your little one... I know how you feel with not wanting to always be negative. I convince myself daily that I'm I'm too old and probably infertile because of the MC. The Drs didn't say this and DP thinks I'm very melodramatic but so much runs through our heads doesn't it. Are you planning on completely weaning DS? Could you potentially drop the number of feeds to help with your cycle but still be able to have that bonding time if he isn't ready yet. I have no children so sorry if this is a silly suggestion. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hoping that ovulation and BFP comes for you soon x

@Quail15 yes, to announce other people’s pregnancy is so completely out of line, especially without that persons say so or before they have their scan. I would certainly let them know my feelings on this!
Glad you have a day off now though. Look after yourself.

@Quail15 aw I see you had ivf. Like you say, the fact that you managed to get pregnant is such a good sign! My husband just basically refuses to take his vitamins and when I mentioned that fertility lubricant again he keeps saying we don’t need it and when I do the opks and Ovia he doesn’t really want to know. He does want another baby for sure but he’s just so relaxed and is convinced it will happen at the right time.
Aw I’ve heard about that tongue tie. I never thought that breastfeeding would be so important to me before I did it. I didn’t really think about it so much before he was born but now it’s hard to stop. And I don’t want to stop and regret it.
I’m hoping that like you recently were pregnant maybe the fact I got pregnant proves I can do both. The ideal would be to stop when he decides to. I want him to stop when he decides he’s lost interest.
I’m feeling a little more positive again today. Sorry to moan!
I’m still reeling about the fact that your boss is announcing people’s pregnancies for them even before the 12 week scan. Crazy. But you know I bet they are absolutely mortified now. A lesson learnt the hard way I suppose.

@SmileyT aw thank you. Yes he’s down to just the two feeds a day now. How it works is the prolactin you’re body produces when breastfeeding suppresses ovulation. How much so varies woman to woman. Many women have their fertility return when their baby takes in solids or when they return to work and have a few hours break without feeding. No such luck for me. But my af did return in January after he started sleeping through the night in December so that’s a good sign. And then after af in January I got pg straight away so hopefully it will happen again soon. It’s just breastfeeding messes with your cycles and a mc also makes your cycles unpredictable so now I’m lost with all of this, especially with all the negative opks! But as I say I know I’m lucky in other ways and count my blessings.
You say you feel too old can I ask of your age? I’m turning 30 this year. And you know your mc doesn’t mean you are infertile it’s just really bad luck. I think like with all of us here we have had our hopes dashed and have had some bad luck but it doesn’t mean it will happen again. It just makes us worry more! But that’s why we have this lovely thread to support. I genuinely do not talk to my friends about any of this at all. They don’t know about the mc and just couldn’t possibly understand. I also wish for you your bfp soon! Xxx

Hi all, so sorry for all your loses.

Hope you don’t mind me crashing the thread. Have just had a pretty drawn out miscarriage. Had a scan (private) at 6 weeks after bleeding that showed empty sac, then NHS scan at 8 weeks after what I thought was a miscarriage on holiday, huge blood loss with large clots. Another private at 10 weeks and NHS at 11 weeks all showed empty sacs.

Had my ERPC on Friday which was very emotional but relieved we can put an end to the saga. I managed to convince myself before every scan there’d be a baby.

Hubby wants to wait as he says it was so hard not knowing what to do to make it better (he’s lovely). I want to start TTC. This was our first pregnancy.

Sorry for the long message. Mumsnet has been an amazing source of comfort for me as no one close to me has been through MC so doesn’t really understand

@Quail15 I literally cannot believe they announced your pregnancy 😫 surely that breaches some sort of code of conduct. Make sure you take off the time you need especially after what they have done. I really struggled going back to work after my MC. Hope you are feeling a little better x

Welcome @Lyham231287 sorry that you find yourself here too. My MC was similar in that it took a few scans before it was confirmed, I kept going in with hope too that something will have changed, it is so heartbreaking. Had an ERCP also.

How are you recovering? Xx

Thanks @VP91, I was bleeding for 4 weeks before the ERPC so it was quite a relief after 1 day there’s no bleeding, few cramps but physically fine.

When was yours?

Morning ladies, just another update. BFN this morning. No idea what’s happened but boobs feel a little harder- almost as if AF is coming soon, so it does sound like a chemical.
Hope you are all okay

@Quail15 that is absolutely awful! I hope you are okay xx 💐

Forgot to post pic.

@Lyham231287 that is good that you have had minimal bleeding. Mine was in mid December. I had some retained tissue, had to have repeat scans after my procedure after about a week because I was in so much pain. I felt better probably at around Mid-Jan once that was all sorted. Xx

@Sallyjo27 ah no 😕 hope you are feeling okay xxx

@VP91x I’m okay thank you just a bit crap isn’t it, I think I’d have felt worse if I’d had symptoms etc. hopeful AF will come soon and we will start again.
@Lyham231287 sorry to hear that, I found my husband was like that- he didn’t know what to say or do etc. How are you feeling? X

@Sallyjo27 yeah it is 😔 are you going to continue doing OTs to see if there's a pattern in your cycle at all? X

@VP91x yes I think I will. I’ll keep using the clear blue ones along side the internet cheapies, I won’t for the rest of this cycle now but after AF I will. How are you doing? Have you ovulated in this cycle yet? X

@Sallyjo27 yeah that's a good idea 😊

I'm okay thank you. No not yet, this morning was my 4th day of flashing smiley. I am going to do one or two more tests today I think. Im on CD10 so I must be heading to peak. X

@Lyham231287 sorry you find yourself here but glad that MN is being a good source of support for you. I'm so sorry you had to go through all those scans, I found two in the same day and surgery the next day stressful so I can't imagine how it was for them to drag it out ☹️

Will you be TTC this month? Or waiting until AF has arrived? xx

@Sallyjo27 Ahh I'm so sorry you've had to go through this but hopefully if AF is on its way your body can reset a bit, although that is no consolation. Did you register the pregnancy with your GP?

Fingers crossed for your static smiley today or tomorrow @VP91 - my cheapie last night was down from peak to high so I think that's me done for the month... DTD today and tomorrow hopefully but then it's the long wait until the end of the month to see what happens 😬

Hello everyone, I couldn't believe when I saw this group it's very relevant and feeling like there's people going through it at the same time is priceless💗. I had a mc in Jan and I've had three periods so far. The first two cycles were 30 days and pretty normal amounts of pain ect. The most recent period I have been so ill since ovulation. Really bad headaches, cramps, nausea, low mood the lot. Just wondering if anyone's got any insights or had anything similar? We did the sperm meets egg plan this cycle so extra gutted nothing took. This process is pretty hard emotionally. The doctor told me that ovulation tests and 'plans' are a waste of time and money and that I should just relax. Do you think she's got a point?

thanks for your messages, OH wants to wait but we’re not back on birth control so think we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.

Before the MC I never knew how common it was!

I’ve not tried tracking ovulation, maybe I’ll give it a go....

Thanks @SmileyT I done my first one this morning at 6am so think I will do one at midday and one at around 6pm. I'm not sure how long hormones stay around for you to catch your peak. X

@witchysticks I think it’s so emotionally draining you should do what makes you feel more relaxed. If the ovulation sticks and plans make you feel you’re in control maybe that’s best. But if you stop them and try and chill for a month that may also be best and less draining.

I think there’s not a right answer to this

How long after MC did you wait to do a test to get a negative?

Don’t want to do it too early and get a positive due to hormones and upset myself?